Dumbest thing heard on the radio

Dumbest thing on the radio

I was sent to a situation with a dog threatening some people while working as an EMT at the local Casino. Non incident. Tried to the get dog to a place we could lock it up for animal control. Thought I'd lure it with a cookie.

ME to security guard: Hey, can I get a cookie to lure the dog with?
Security guard over radio: The EMT needs a cookie....
Dispatch: EMT needs a WHAT??
Anonymous security on the radio: Tell him to get his own damn cookie...
 
High Speed Chaser said:
Cadets most times get to use the radios and we think one of them was accidentally keying it every so often so the dispatcher says, I hear voices in my head. The team leader at the FAP I was stationed at happened to be a nurse in a Psych Ward. The nurse proceeds to ask the dispatcher over the radio about the voices.

Dispatcher: I hear voices in my head
Nurse: Is there one voice or multiple voices?
Dispatcher: one voice
Nurse: And this voice, does it try to tell you what to do?
Dispatcher: Sometimes mate
anyway the questions kept going for a few minutes before the dispatcher stopped responding to the nurse. I think the boss heard :unsure:
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This one shut up when the dispatcher responded to him.
 
This came after staging outside a rural residence for about 1 hour while the patient was in an armed standoff with local LEOs.

"Lloyd Ambulance, Lloyd dispatch. Respond to residence for patient retrieval. No vital signs. RCMP has secured the scene and they are ready to receive you inside the house. I repeat, there are no vital signs."

I enter the residence, 3 RCMP on the left side of the living room, each holding confiscated weapons. Patient is on a couch on the right side of the room in handcuffs.

I approach the patient, place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. He opens his eyes and looks at me.

"How are you doing sir?"

"Pretty :censored::censored::censored::censored:ty, but I'm okay when I take my epilepsy meds."

"Okay. I'm gonna check you out before--" Radio cuts in, "Lloyd Ambulance, Lloyd hospital. The RCMP repeat that the patient displays no vital signs."

We replied "Lloyd hospital, Lloyd Ambulance. Thank you, and we will let you know when we are en-route to hospital."
 
Heard a dispatch a little bit ago.

Company XXX XYZ Hospital Building J Seizures.

WTF they are at the hospital already.

and this one happened to my executive director during a snow storm.

Unit: Berks, medic XXXX can I get directions to the address?

Dispatcher: Medic XXXX take the next left, follow that road until you get to the green house, then take a right, it will be the house with the red mailbox out front.

Unit: Berks, Medic XXXX Uhhhh everything from where we are sitting is white.
 
Pudge40 said:
Heard a dispatch a little bit ago.
Company XXX XYZ Hospital Building J Seizures.
WTF they are at the hospital already.
Click to expand...
My service used to be dispatched pretty often to a hospital nearby until a private company signed a contract with them. That hospital mostly did rehabilitation and such and had to send pts. with acute conditions to hospitals with ERs and ICUs.
Heck, some hospitals with ER call EMS for patients who have an emergency right in front of their ER due to liability concerns.


I love when you (fire, EMS, whatever) get dispatched to, say, MVA with entrapment, and the first unit on scene requests other units "to expedite". Thanks, we were actually going to finish our coffee at the station and drive as slowly as we could, but now that you ask us to expedite, that's a different story... And I'm not talking about calls that initially were dispatched not as high-priority.
 
Here is one on a busy day.

Dispatch: Standy Medic 83
tones
Dispatch: Medic 83, Emergency, (nursing home) for a ** y/o female pt. having severe leg pain, pt. has no legs
 
NREMTB12 said:
Here is one on a busy day.

Dispatch: Standy Medic 83
tones
Dispatch: Medic 83, Emergency, (nursing home) for a ** y/o female pt. having severe leg pain, pt. has no legs
Click to expand...

phantom pain in all likelihood - no laughing matter
 
New clueless dispatcher:

Dispatch: One, please respond to...
Engine 1: Dispatch, was that for Engine 1 or Medic 1?
Dispatch: Medic.

Wouldn't have been that bad, except that she kept doing the same thing all day.
 
ya i know it was phantom pains but saying that over the radio was just a dumb thing, and supervision def. noticed it and werent too thrilled.
 
We have a nursing and rehab facility. The unofficial name is DNR, short for D**** Nursing and Rehab.

Dispatch: Respond to DNR, man down.

Needless to say the supervisor was not happy about using DNR on the radio.
 
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First one is my own screw-up on the radio.

"52XX Priority 8 (which I later learned meant standby) at XX/XYZ turnoff" (a place we had stood by many times before)

Me: "Dispatch, 52XX is 10-8 Priority 8 to <mumbles> What the hell?"

"10-4, 52XX, you're 10-8 to XX/XYZ"

There was just one too many numbers in the transmission for me to work with at that time of the day apparently.

Second was between Dispatch, the Supervisor, and two ambulances.

Supervisor: "53XX is 10-8 to **** to staff 54XX"
Dispatch: (later on in the day) "54XX Priority 4 to ******"
54XX (upon packing the pt) "54XX is 10-8 to *** Hospital, I am (supervisor) attending"
52XX: "54XX, do you even remember how to do that?"
 
Woke up one morning with my scanner going off for one of the many other local volunteer fire departments...

*Tones*

Fire Control: Department xx, respond for a... uhhhh...... car fire.... at the uhhhh... in the uhhhhhh... fire station parking lot

XX FD Officer (the on duty driver): Yeah copy that fire control, unit xxx is responding to the parking lot...

Fire Control: Received unit xxx

XX FD Officer (2 seconds later): (laughing) Fire control, Unit xx will be on scene

Now that particular fire department has an automatic mutual aid agreement with another local FD to respond with a tanker to all fires in their district. So 5 seconds later:

*Tones*

Fire Control: Department xy, respond mutual aid for a car fire in department xx's parking lot, unit xxx will be on scene

XY FD Driver: (Also laughing) Received Fire Control, responding to the xx fd's parking lot mutual aid

The exchange went on like this for awhile, I just loved how the responding units at the fire department that actually had the car fire kept calling in and laughing because they only pulled the trucks outside the bay while everybody else walked out the front door to the parking lot. Never found out how bad it actually was or what started it though.
 
first a little background: the ALS units in my system are 2x0y numbered, with x corresponding to the shift, and y the unit unit. This particular call involved the night shift unit 2403. and occurred at approx 1103pm

unit: 2403 is available, cancelled by BLS

me: 2403 available, cancelled by BLS, 2303 hours.

unit: uhhh, dispatch you have us as the wrong unit, we are 2403, not 2303.

me: look at your wrist watch......

unit: (laughing in the background) ok, point for you this time.

also received a phone call from the crew on this one, and I am curious which other field crews were laughing when they heard this.
 
Not the dumbest thing I've heard on the radio, but today at least.

County Control be advised we have snow accumulation, can you notify PENNDOT that the roads are getting slick. (This was today in the middle of a snow storm, we got about 2" of snow. By the way dispatchers have a live weather radar screen in the Communication Center, they know it's snowing!)

Ok, now mine... It's a toss up, you decide.

"County Ambulance XX...correction Ambulance 1-XX responding" (First call I ran as an EMT I was a little excited. Our trucks rotate first due, I guess I didn't know what truck I was in.)

"County Ambulance XX..."(Was going to say we are available but my partner asked why I was calling county as he had already placed us available). "Go ahead Ambulance XX." "Disregard County...." lol
 
Medic 3: Dispatch, we are on scene.
Dispatch: 10-4
*30 seconds later*
Medic 3: Dispatch, we have a code blue.
Dispatch: 10-4
*1 min later*
Dispatch: Medic 3, are you busy?

hmmm...
 
Me: "82XX, Respond to 1XX Brady Lane for 85M PT, Tachycardia, 19-C-6."

Unit "82XX, irony.. I Mean, En Route"
 
A fire truck responded to a tree branch that had fallen on some power lines and was talking with the local electric company.

Electric: Can you describe the damage?
FF: Yeah, small branch is caught in the wires. It's on fire and there are sparks shooting from the wire.
Electric: Ok, don't touch it.

- Duh -
 
Linuss said:
"Pt is severely dead"


I kid you not.
Click to expand...


and also ....

On the way back from a 2AM Psych Trip:

Me: Dispatch, L2 is out for fuel.
Dispatch: 10-4 L2 out for fuel at 0447.
Me: Thanks, Dispatch, I wasn't expecting a reply at this wonderful hour.
Dispatch: Neither was I.

About 10 Minutes Later:

Me: Dispatch, L2 will be in route to station.
Dispatch: 10-4 L2, be advised you have 4 bogeys 6 o'clock high bugging out.
Me: Copy bogeys, this is Ghostrider requesting fly-by.
Dispatch: Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full.
Me: Copy, pattern full, we will be arriving on Runway 17 North in approx. 45 seconds.
Dispatch: Roger, call the ball.
Me: L2 has the ball.
Dispatch: You're too low! Pull Up! PULL UP!
Me: Arrived at base safe and sound. Thank you for flying Psychiatric Airlines, hope you have a Wonderful day!



** LMFAO at both !
 
THIS JUST IN !!!!!

IM LISTENING TO MY SCANNER. ...

DISPATCH --- BLS 114 RESPOND TO - A B C STREET FOR A PSYCH EVAL

DISPATCH --- BLS 114 THE SCENE IS SAFE! *said with some conviction*

BLS 114 --- *SILENCE* *YOU HEAR PARTNER IN BACKROUND*
"HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW !?"

BLS 114 --- OTHER PARTNER - WHILE TRYING NOT TO LAUGH ... "BLS 114 RECEIVED"



I love it ! I love it ! hahaha
 
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