Dumbest thing heard on the radio

squirrel15

Forum Captain
299
144
43
I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread over the past few days. I have a couple that may be interesting. I’m a park ranger and mainly deal with LEO dispatch.

Dispatch: 1 Adam, trespass at x street. Neighbor in yard stealing apples from tree.

1 Adam: in route

2 Adam: attach me to the trespass

3 Adam: add me to that call

4 Adam: attach me to the trespass and show me in route.

( This was entertaining as I pictured 4 cop cars racing toward the apple thief. It was a very slow morning).

——-

Dispatch: 1 Adam, Wildlife call at x street for an injured deer in the road way.

I happened to be coming up to the scene, so I gave my report and stated that I’d be putting the animal down.

Me: cancel this dispatch, the animal left the scene.

Road Sargent: we’ll let you know if he shows up at the ER.
Are you sure it was apples and not lemons?
 

AZEMSPRO

Livin’ Life With Lights & Sirens Blaring
65
8
8
I didn't figure it out for a while either. My EMT instructor kept talking about using PASTE for SOB patients. I had fun using my imagination with that one.
SOB: Shortness of Breath.
Provoke: Find out whether any external factor such as movement is making the situation better or worse.
Associated Chest Pain: This will elicit descriptions of the patient’s pain in and around chest area.
Sputum production (color): Is the patient coughing up sputum. Mucus-like sputum can be an indication of infection or any problem in respiratory system
Talking & Tiredness: Is the patient talking with you? Is he/she feeling tired? If the patient is not talking or responding to your voice, perform CPR immediately.
Exacerbation: Check whether the condition of the patient is worsening with time.
 

mantree

Forum Probie
16
4
3
Sitting in my office with radio on on the desk

Dispatch: unit *** uncoded medical mid 50s male south transit center respond channel 5.

Unit: ETOH?

Dispatch: (dead key) probably.


And yes it was a frequent flyer ETOH when they arrived in my ED.
 

M40oz

Forum Ride Along
1
0
1
Overheard a radio call on the scanner BLS to Hosp. for an elderly Pt trip and fall
The emt sounded brand new at radio reports
Hospital asked if the Pt is on any blood thinners to which the emt replies:
Yes, he took 4mg of Tylenol

During a transport to the e.r. I couldn't get a hold of the radio nurse for roughly 10 minutes. Meanwhile another unit was also attempting to get a hold of them. The cct nurse on the other unit ended up giving me a whole radio thinking I was the radio nurse
 

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
1,311
155
63
I have had other units give me radio reports; because they thought I was the hospital; When I finally got in touch with the hospital I gave them both reports. It confuses the hospital; but keeps a crew from getting yelled at.
 

MSDeltaFlt

RRT/NRP
1,420
31
48
"Unit XYZ. 10-8 Priority 2 to 123 Smith St for a 65 year old male states he can't see. Says he'll be waiting for EMS on the porch."

"On the porch? How does he know?"
 

Tx1Nguyen

Forum Probie
10
4
3
Not in EMS, but when I was working armed security. My partner was watching porn unaware that he was keyed up. Safe to say that was his last night with the company.
 

Phillyrube

Forum Crew Member
76
18
8
Not in EMS, but when I was working armed security. My partner was watching porn unaware that he was keyed up. Safe to say that was his last night with the company.
A friend of mine sat on her Mic in her car one day while explaining the facts of life to her daughter.

Before trunked systems, not uncommon for someone to get a helium balloon and talk on the Mic.

Get toned,out for a working fire, the crew asks for lead in. Someone else keys up and says head for the tower of smoke
 

RedBlanketRunner

Opheophagus Hannah Cuddler
87
7
8
08:00 coffee and our dynamic duo was partnered.
"^&*(()*&^$$&* (^&%** **^&%"
Dispatch: Unit 1, please repeat.
"&*^&($)$&@#)$__&((*(^^&_)"
Dispatch: Unit one, please repeat.
"*#%$)#& *^# responding."
Dispatch: Copy.
...
"&@%^$))*^&"
Dispatch: Unit one, please repeat.
"&^$#($*"
Dispatch: "Unit one, please repeat"
In the ER and listening to all this. After about 20 minutes the unit has apparently arrived at scene. More high speed unintelligible gibberish. ER requests them LL. Nurse taking the call looks confused. No radio miscoms, just ultra ultra hyper.
The POD sorts the noise, advises then phone hung up he walks off, calling over his shoulder. "And see if you can slip those two some Demerol"

Late night, same POD on duty. Doc turns around to, as he described, the original wild eyed maniac, waving a Bowie knife. Without missing a beat the doc turns around and starts opening the drug safe. Digging out a double handful he turns to the robber, "You want this all to go or you want some on board?"

I wore several hats at the hospital. I had faded back from the ambulance scene and NA, and was working electronics, helping install a new patient monitoring system in ICU. I heard the call of an incoming code blue and just naturally went on down to the ER. In comes the patient and the EMT on the chest is obviously green and not doing the job. The Sup spotted me and "take compressions". So I bumped the EMT. It was one of those fades. Nearly all artifacts and an occasional lousy QRS. We were on him hot. My buddy, RT sup on the airway. My fav ER doc calling. Pick it up... slow it down, had me take compressions up to 120 and nada. Fade. Defibs caused more artifacts. A little frustrating. RT was monitoring the carotid, getting my compressions, but it slowly went flat line. Code finally called, 35 minutes.
Then a week later and the EMS review came storming in. They confronted Admin then the entire crowd descended on the ER. They got close to up in his face on the ER doc, the same, and demanded an explanation. Why was a maintenance mech listed on that code?! No doubt visions of a wrongful death suit open and shut looming.
The doc looked at the report. "Oh! Him? He's my CPR instructor."
(I was EMT II, ACLS cert, and an AHA CPR instructors instructor at that time)

That same doc needed to recert his CPR. He grabbed me as I was going through the ER and told me. I verbally gave him a man down scenario on the spot. "So there he is on the gurney, apparently checked out. What do you do."
Doc didn't miss a beat. "Call a code. You guys are much better at that than me."
Passed.

Red light fever
Dispatch: (Substation) we have a fire reported at (location).
We had a captain at that substation who had earned the nickname Iceman very early in his career for a very obvious reason.
Mic is keyed. A solid 5 second pause then "Dispatch..." five seconds more, "(substation)", ten to fifteen seconds pass then "Yup." Another 5+ seconds and finally, "It's going pretty good......... I can see it from here."
 

luke_31

Forum Asst. Chief
869
272
63
08:00 coffee and our dynamic duo was partnered.
"^&*(()*&^$$&* (^&%** **^&%"
Dispatch: Unit 1, please repeat.
"&*^&($)$&@#)$__&((*(^^&_)"
Dispatch: Unit one, please repeat.
"*#%$)#& *^# responding."
Dispatch: Copy.
...
"&@%^$))*^&"
Dispatch: Unit one, please repeat.
"&^$#($*"
Dispatch: "Unit one, please repeat"
In the ER and listening to all this. After about 20 minutes the unit has apparently arrived at scene. More high speed unintelligible gibberish. ER requests them LL. Nurse taking the call looks confused. No radio miscoms, just ultra ultra hyper.
The POD sorts the noise, advises then phone hung up he walks off, calling over his shoulder. "And see if you can slip those two some Demerol"

Late night, same POD on duty. Doc turns around to, as he described, the original wild eyed maniac, waving a Bowie knife. Without missing a beat the doc turns around and starts opening the drug safe. Digging out a double handful he turns to the robber, "You want this all to go or you want some on board?"

I wore several hats at the hospital. I had faded back from the ambulance scene and NA, and was working electronics, helping install a new patient monitoring system in ICU. I heard the call of an incoming code blue and just naturally went on down to the ER. In comes the patient and the EMT on the chest is obviously green and not doing the job. The Sup spotted me and "take compressions". So I bumped the EMT. It was one of those fades. Nearly all artifacts and an occasional lousy QRS. We were on him hot. My buddy, RT sup on the airway. My fav ER doc calling. Pick it up... slow it down, had me take compressions up to 120 and nada. Fade. Defibs caused more artifacts. A little frustrating. RT was monitoring the carotid, getting my compressions, but it slowly went flat line. Code finally called, 35 minutes.
Then a week later and the EMS review came storming in. They confronted Admin then the entire crowd descended on the ER. They got close to up in his face on the ER doc, the same, and demanded an explanation. Why was a maintenance mech listed on that code?! No doubt visions of a wrongful death suit open and shut looming.
The doc looked at the report. "Oh! Him? He's my CPR instructor."
(I was EMT II, ACLS cert, and an AHA CPR instructors instructor at that time)

That same doc needed to recert his CPR. He grabbed me as I was going through the ER and told me. I verbally gave him a man down scenario on the spot. "So there he is on the gurney, apparently checked out. What do you do."
Doc didn't miss a beat. "Call a code. You guys are much better at that than me."
Passed.

Red light fever
Dispatch: (Substation) we have a fire reported at (location).
We had a captain at that substation who had earned the nickname Iceman very early in his career for a very obvious reason.
Mic is keyed. A solid 5 second pause then "Dispatch..." five seconds more, "(substation)", ten to fifteen seconds pass then "Yup." Another 5+ seconds and finally, "It's going pretty good......... I can see it from here."
Ok?
 
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