Dumbest thing heard on the radio


Forum Captain
I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread over the past few days. I have a couple that may be interesting. I’m a park ranger and mainly deal with LEO dispatch.

Dispatch: 1 Adam, trespass at x street. Neighbor in yard stealing apples from tree.

1 Adam: in route

2 Adam: attach me to the trespass

3 Adam: add me to that call

4 Adam: attach me to the trespass and show me in route.

( This was entertaining as I pictured 4 cop cars racing toward the apple thief. It was a very slow morning).


Dispatch: 1 Adam, Wildlife call at x street for an injured deer in the road way.

I happened to be coming up to the scene, so I gave my report and stated that I’d be putting the animal down.

Me: cancel this dispatch, the animal left the scene.

Road Sargent: we’ll let you know if he shows up at the ER.
Are you sure it was apples and not lemons?


Livin’ Life With Lights & Sirens Blaring
I didn't figure it out for a while either. My EMT instructor kept talking about using PASTE for SOB patients. I had fun using my imagination with that one.
SOB: Shortness of Breath.
Provoke: Find out whether any external factor such as movement is making the situation better or worse.
Associated Chest Pain: This will elicit descriptions of the patient’s pain in and around chest area.
Sputum production (color): Is the patient coughing up sputum. Mucus-like sputum can be an indication of infection or any problem in respiratory system
Talking & Tiredness: Is the patient talking with you? Is he/she feeling tired? If the patient is not talking or responding to your voice, perform CPR immediately.
Exacerbation: Check whether the condition of the patient is worsening with time.


Forum Probie
Sitting in my office with radio on on the desk

Dispatch: unit *** uncoded medical mid 50s male south transit center respond channel 5.

Unit: ETOH?

Dispatch: (dead key) probably.

And yes it was a frequent flyer ETOH when they arrived in my ED.


Forum Ride Along
Overheard a radio call on the scanner BLS to Hosp. for an elderly Pt trip and fall
The emt sounded brand new at radio reports
Hospital asked if the Pt is on any blood thinners to which the emt replies:
Yes, he took 4mg of Tylenol

During a transport to the e.r. I couldn't get a hold of the radio nurse for roughly 10 minutes. Meanwhile another unit was also attempting to get a hold of them. The cct nurse on the other unit ended up giving me a whole radio thinking I was the radio nurse


Forum Deputy Chief
I have had other units give me radio reports; because they thought I was the hospital; When I finally got in touch with the hospital I gave them both reports. It confuses the hospital; but keeps a crew from getting yelled at.


Forum Deputy Chief
"Unit XYZ. 10-8 Priority 2 to 123 Smith St for a 65 year old male states he can't see. Says he'll be waiting for EMS on the porch."

"On the porch? How does he know?"


Forum Ride Along
Not in EMS, but when I was working armed security. My partner was watching porn unaware that he was keyed up. Safe to say that was his last night with the company.


Forum Crew Member
Not in EMS, but when I was working armed security. My partner was watching porn unaware that he was keyed up. Safe to say that was his last night with the company.
A friend of mine sat on her Mic in her car one day while explaining the facts of life to her daughter.

Before trunked systems, not uncommon for someone to get a helium balloon and talk on the Mic.

Get toned,out for a working fire, the crew asks for lead in. Someone else keys up and says head for the tower of smoke