What is your most ridiculous call?

burnsmh

burnsmh

Forum Crew Member
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WARNING 'GROSS' STORY

Second hand and kind of gross.

My best friend since 3rd grade, his mom is a nurse. He is in the Navy. He is on leave and we're visiting, his mom hears about me wanting to do EMT work at the plants. She reminds us of a story she told us when we were younger, the weirdest thing she had ever seen in the ER.

So, a mentally unstable PT shows up, its a middle aged female. This lady is homeless and her CC is itching and 'weird feelings' around her vagina. So, they inspect her and when they do...ROACHES...Come out. Apparently, this woman had been masturbating with an old coke can that had a roach and a bunch of baby roaches in it. The roaches decided that the warm, moist environment was better than the cold smelly coke can and crawled inside her. When they inspected her a few of the baby roaches came out and they had to remove the rest.
 
spnjsquad

spnjsquad

Forum Crew Member
68
4
8
burnsmh said:
WARNING 'GROSS' STORY

Second hand and kind of gross.

My best friend since 3rd grade, his mom is a nurse. He is in the Navy. He is on leave and we're visiting, his mom hears about me wanting to do EMT work at the plants. She reminds us of a story she told us when we were younger, the weirdest thing she had ever seen in the ER.

So, a mentally unstable PT shows up, its a middle aged female. This lady is homeless and her CC is itching and 'weird feelings' around her vagina. So, they inspect her and when they do...ROACHES...Come out. Apparently, this woman had been masturbating with an old coke can that had a roach and a bunch of baby roaches in it. The roaches decided that the warm, moist environment was better than the cold smelly coke can and crawled inside her. When they inspected her a few of the baby roaches came out and they had to remove the rest.
Click to expand...
Oh my lord...
 
sirengirl

sirengirl

Forum Lieutenant
238
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28
Recently went L/S to a FD house which does not have an ambulance at it. Arrive to find a familiar FF walking out ahead of the ambulatory pt, so he can inform me that she has arm pain. Had surgery on it 9 weeks ago, fell 2 days ago when she was drunk and naturally stuck her arms out to break her fall, and it's been excruciating ever since.

"Really?" Says I.

"Oh and the best part," he says, "she supposedly walked to the bus stop, missed the bus, and then walked here and told us to call her an ambulance."

"No vehicle at home?"

"Girlfriend won't take her."

Inspect arm to find normal, healed incision mark, neg DCAPBTLS. Claims 10/10. Proceeds to self-ambulate into ambulance and nap entire 23.6 mile transport to hospital of preference, which bypasses 4 closer hospitals. When dropped off in triage, indignantly asks,

"I have to wait?!"

"Yes ma'am. Sign here."
 
V

vcuemt

Ambulance Driver
210
52
28
sirengirl said:
Recently went L/S to a FD house which does not have an ambulance at it. Arrive to find a familiar FF walking out ahead of the ambulatory pt, so he can inform me that she has arm pain. Had surgery on it 9 weeks ago, fell 2 days ago when she was drunk and naturally stuck her arms out to break her fall, and it's been excruciating ever since.

"Really?" Says I.

"Oh and the best part," he says, "she supposedly walked to the bus stop, missed the bus, and then walked here and told us to call her an ambulance."

"No vehicle at home?"

"Girlfriend won't take her."

Inspect arm to find normal, healed incision mark, neg DCAPBTLS. Claims 10/10. Proceeds to self-ambulate into ambulance and nap entire 23.6 mile transport to hospital of preference, which bypasses 4 closer hospitals. When dropped off in triage, indignantly asks,

"I have to wait?!"

"Yes ma'am. Sign here."
Click to expand...

"I'm sorry ma'am. With pain that bad, I'm required to take you to the nearest hospital."
 
T

Tunamate

Forum Crew Member
37
7
8
Get a call at 2am for a patient collapse (at 2am we assume this is due to normal sleeping patterns!). Arrive at a house to find lights off and no signs of life. Bang on the door and ask of everything is alright. Confirm with dispatch that we are at the correct address. Wake up a lady in her 20s who states everything is ok and she was sleeping until we woke her up. Call dispatch and get through to the caller only to find out that he had a fight with his GF and she wasn't answering his calls so he called an ambulance to go to her.... Abuse of Ems service????? FML
 
LACoGurneyjockey

LACoGurneyjockey

Forum Asst. Chief
778
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Dispatched about 0800 to a residence for a seizure, etc etc end up taking a mid 40s female to the hospital to get her Dilantin scrip refilled and a nice warm bed for a few hours. Nothing too strange.
2200 rolls around and we get dispatched for a man down at the edge of the lake. Homeowner saw a woman laying in the dirt and called. Whaddya know, it's our dear "seizure" from this morning. Apparently, the hospital wouldn't give her the narcs she wanted, so she AMA'd without her seizure meds and decided to walk home, all 30 miles. But she was at least smart enough to take a short cut, directly across the lake. 14 hours later, she made it 2 miles across the lake, soaking wet and hypothermic, with no idea where she was or how she got there. We had a nice little talk about how this time, she was going to call a taxi when the hospital didn't give her ALL THE DILAUDID in the world. Haven't seen her since...
 
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Kevinf

Kevinf

Forum Captain
397
171
43
Last week I transported an elderly gentleman from an ECF ~40 miles to the closest available VA med center for a nosebleed. Bypassed a dozen closer hospitals and urgent care facilities to do it. He insisted on being seen at the VA and nowhere else.
 
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sirengirl

sirengirl

Forum Lieutenant
238
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28
Last shift, dispatched to "OB Problems" in the second worst zone in the county. Get on scene to find the caller gave a completely made-up address but somehow it got us to the correct street, where a 19 y/o female is ambulating towards us, clutching stomach. Get out to be informed she is having a miscarriage. Ask her how far along she is:

"I don't know."
"....when was your last period?"
"(24 days prior)"
".........have you even taken a pregnancy test?"
"No."
"How do you know you're pregnant."
"Cause my period dun start."
"Are you bleeding now?"
"I be spottin."
"Since when?"
"Two days."
".........get in."

She proceeds to try everything to convince me en route to give her pain meds for her abd pain. I politely decline. She demands water and a bathroom. I inform her no less than 5 times that she cannot drink until the MD sees her for potential surgical purposes, and that she cannot use the bathroom until she gives a urine sample because she thinks she is pregnant. Ensue holding a wall in ER for 40+ mins due to the urgency of this well-known pt, and as soon as stretcher is lowered to allow her into her bed, she bolts into patient snack room, downs a cup of water, vomits, and makes a bee-line for bathroom. Nurses have to physically subdue her to her bed and inform her that if she acts up again she will be discharged from the ER.

2 hours later return and ask doc how the "miscarriage" was.

"I gave her Motrin for her menstrual cramps and sent her *** home. She comes in every time she starts her period to try to get morphine."

Some people.
 
N

nrfdfreal

Forum Ride Along
3
0
1
Frequent life alerter (who never wants transport) calls for a fall. We roll up with the FD and find her sitting on the steps of her front porch claiming she had fallen. While we were there she requests we look for her lost dog. We were all over the property calling this dog. Family shows up about 15 mins later and says the dog died 2 years ago -_-
 
D

DFRJunkie

Forum Ride Along
3
1
1
Call came in as a "Sick Person - Charlie level" and my crew and I we're thinking it was gonna be one of those run of the mill jobs of bringing someone to the ER puking and all of that wonderful mess. We had to stage for PD while en route and we were all so confused as to why. We're cleared to enter and get into the house and the pt was a fellow who consumed Syrian Rue and Baby Woodrose Seeds for LSD-like effects and, well, he got effects alright. He stated that he had been having intense hallucinations for over six hours and he called 911 because he felt like he was dying. He wasn't combative or anything, but he was easily agitated due to his confused state and not being able to grasp time or object permanence. He was standing in his bedroom and there's me, my partner, another EMT, and the Chief of police and he was trying to explain what was going on. His speech was extremely fast and he appeared restless. He stumbled over his words alot and was getting really frustrated with himself. We were able to calm him quite a bit and get him to come downstairs for us and into the bus. We load him up and go and the entire 45 minute transport he's looking back and forth between me and my partner with these huge saucers for pupils and kept asking me if I was an angel sent to help him. At first I tried explaining that I was just a person helping him but it really wasn't getting anywhere and he affirmed that I absolutely was this beautiful angel who was his light in the darkness and all of that. It was really amusing to be honest, and it wasn't a hard transport at all. It was just extremely difficult to maintain a professional face when he kept closing his eyes and stopping our conversation with, "Hold on, I must re-create the universe before we're consumed by the black hole." and he would basically just meditate, but he kept looking to make sure I was there. I can't recall all of the things he said, but every bit of it was absolutely hilarious. The grin he gave me and him telling me how happy he was to see me DID kind of make my whole week, even if he was completely tripping. We also managed to stump poison control because they had absolutely no answers for us on how to counteract the inedible seeds he consumed, not even when we finally got to the ER. As we were unloading him on the cot he looked at my partner and I, told us once more that we were beautiful angels and if he weren't strapped down to the cot that he would have wanted to have an "orgy in order to create the galaxy and the earth and all the creatures in it."
Needless to say, my partner and I have not been able to live this call down and it happened months ago. We've been officially given the title by our Chief as Sister Angels, and apparently this title is going to follow us through our career for years to come. I can't say I mind, flattery is flattery I guess?
 
L

LightItUp98

Forum Probie
20
1
3
I've had two recently...

1)Dispatched as "female fall victim...from one stair." we get there and she's screaming in pain, claimed 10/10. Get her into the rig and she's quiet the whole time. Turns out she had an opiate addiction and had done this same scene to many other hospitals just to get painkillers.

2)Dispatched as "sick person"...it was a guy who ate a hot pepper and said that he thought he was going to die because it was too hot. He gasps and groans all the way to the rig, then slowly quiets down as we're halfway to the hospital and says "alright, I feel better now, I wanna go home." We continues the transport after talking him into getting checked out by triage.
 
J

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
1,675
259
83
Severe chest pain; 9/10. Pt has pancreatitis Hx and drinks like a fish; everytime he drank his pancreatitis would flare up and act like chest pain. After 185 calls to 911 in the first 150 days of one year they finally got the medical director and PD together and everytime he called he went to jail
 
E

emt4lifes

Forum Ride Along
9
0
1
picked up a guy who sawed off his own penis. He was completely sober and the real crazy part was that his vitals were normal and he wasn't showing stress of any kind.
 
Apple Bill

Apple Bill

Forum Crew Member
52
20
8
Dropping a pt off at a regional hospital, PD races up to the ambulance bay and hops out, asking if "we can force someone to go to the ER for taking too many pills". Told him he could EOD her if he wanted. She's high and very combative. We get our pt admitted while two cops are dealing with this woman, in and out of ER, trying to talk the nurses into taking her, etc etc. It's a borderline circus. Finally as we're about to leave, one of the cops starts begging my partner to take her. My partner asked where, specifically, he wanted us to take her, since we were already at the ER? "I don't know I'm just sick of dealing with her crap". Thanks but no thanks.

Not mine, from a FF/P/RN friend - they had a homeless guy that was a frequent visitor to the ER for infections to his colostomy site. They would coach him on keeping it clean, but he'd always come back. Finally one of the nurses coaxed the story from him. In exchange for money, booze or drugs, he would allow other homeless guys to "use" the hole for their enjoyment. Possibly the grossest mental image I've gotten out of this industry.
 
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