What is your most ridiculous call?

Patient discharged on oxycodone for post op Pain and we were called to take patient to hospital for AMS.
 
Transporting a person to the hospital because they witnessed a car accident. Meanwhile, the people actually involved in the accident were not injured at all and didn't even need police assistance. Minor damage.
What on earth was their chief complaint???
 
I have had a few where I can't keep from laughing as I call a report in; and I have told the charge nurse twice that I am bringing in a waiting room patient
 
Not mine but one of the BLS crews I was working with one day:

They got a run to transport from Hospital A to Hospital B lockdown unit: 23 y/o, male, transvestite, Vampire who was 19 months pregnant. Every crew that heard that made it to 1 of the hospitals to "help the crew" check the patient out.
My partner commented he "didn't look pregnant", my answer was: "what is the gestational period for Transvestite vampires". She didn't know, and the ED charge nurse wouldn't look it up for us.
 
Not mine but one of the BLS crews I was working with one day:

They got a run to transport from Hospital A to Hospital B lockdown unit: 23 y/o, male, transvestite, Vampire who was 19 months pregnant. Every crew that heard that made it to 1 of the hospitals to "help the crew" check the patient out.
My partner commented he "didn't look pregnant", my answer was: "what is the gestational period for Transvestite vampires". She didn't know, and the ED charge nurse wouldn't look it up for us.
I wonder what the Supervisor's response would of been if I replied with a "Response Declination" for Crew/Scene Safety as;

A) We have insufficent BSI to protect against Vampires such as;

1) Silver Cross;
2) Wooden Stakes;
3) Ability to Burn Vampire with Direct Sunlight, (assuming it was a response after Dark;
4) Fresh Garlic;
5) Holy Water and;
6) Decapitation is outside our Scope of Practice.

6 Ways to Stop a Vampire
 
What on earth was their chief complaint???
Last year I transported someone who witnessed a a pretty wild rollover (with only minor injuries)…she had a status asthma exacerbation and we ended up going back emergent and giving a dose of epi plus the usual treatments.

It was uh…a surprise to say the least.
 
We had a suicide on the freeway in my last area (FD); guy drove 200 miles till he ran out of gas, pulled over; popped the hood. Watched and timed it right and walked in the front of a Semi.
He was hit by 2 Semi's and 5 cars. He didn't survive. We ended transporting a total of 7 people out of that run.
2 CVA's (same vehicle), 3 MI's (driver of 1st Semi, driver of a car, and passenger in the car that the body ended up on her lap {She died too}), 2 Major Panic Attacks.

Effective way to kill yourself, but do it at home
 
Effective way to kill yourself, but do it at home
Don't do it at all. Always know there is help and anyone know Matter how hard can get into a better position. I have lost friends to suicide and want everyone to know help can be found.
 
I had a guy who "might have broken his pinky".
I also had a call the other night came is as 92 year old female in respiratory distress. Turns out she just didnt want to go to bed (it was 1130pm) and called an ambulance so her caretaker would have to let her stay up later.
 
Oh, we also got called once for foot fungus. We gave the guy directions to the local clinic and left.
 
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