What is your most ridiculous call?

52 Y/O F.
Called 911 because she took her ciprolex them remember it says on the bottle do not eat food two hours before or after taking medication. She was convinced she was dying. I explained to her that the warning was not to avoid fatality but rather to avoid problems with the drug absorption. She insisted on going to the ER. 5 hours later bringing in 2 pt from a rollover mvi. She's still there and finally the doctor essentially kicks her out after reluctantly running several un necessary tests.
 
Dispatched around 1600 to a respiratory at 406 XYZ street, which is in the middle of HUD Housing and Cracktown.

Arrive on scene with fire behind and paramedic superivor pulling in third. Get out and realize that the house I am in front of is 408, and next one up is 410. Look back and realize I passed the address because I didn't think it would be the address- because it is a tented house.

"S-t, (partner), this is a respiratory to a tented f-king house."

Homeless person waves me down and walks us back to the back duplex, also tented, to find a 30-35 y/o female supine on the ground, one foot still inside the tent of the duplex, RR40+, combative, hypoxic, mild cyanosis, coughing. When asked, she reports that she fell asleep in the house around 1000 and that the company tented the house on her. Info tag on the tent states the chemicals and that it was tented at 1045. Supervisor on phone with poison control. Immediately tell her I know she is lying to my face, that they would not tent a person in a house, all companies do walk-troughs before sealing a tent, and that I know she broke in, and I need to know when she went inside. Homeless bystanders of course know nothing and claim they don't know the patient. She again sticks to her story. PD arrived and identifies her as a well known drug addict/prostitute/homeless. Place her on capno cannula and FFs help us move her to the stretcher and away from the building. Place on monitor, obtain 12-lead, sinus tach, no acute changes, RR 46, spo2 low 90s, capno in the 40-50s, LS wheezing.

Load into truck and have difficulty getting IV due to heavy track marks. Supervisor clears fire and they leave. He states poison control reports that the chemical is a respiratory irritant and be cautious of coughing, airway swelling, dyspnea, stridor, pulmonary edema, and respiratory failure; also reported effects are worse with longer exposure.

Secure 18g and am about to transport, check LS- flash pulmonary edema. Place CPAP and transport emergency for respiratory poisoning, myself driving, partner attending. PD follows behind emergency. Arrive to hospital where pt RR has decreased but she is still combative and trying to remove CPAP mask. Instruct her to leave it on because she will likely die without it, and she stops. Cop asks her a question as stretcher is removed from ambulance, and gets a coherent answer. Drop wheels and roll into ER, approx 60 feet from ambulance straight to ER bed. Turn and start DCing off monitor as partner is starting report, and see that pts head is bowed- unresponsive. Look at the cardiac monitor- Asystole. Check carotid- nothing.

"(Partner)! Check a pulse- monitor shows Asystole!"

Confirmed cardiac arrest, ripped off CPAP, moved to bed, worked in the ER for 15 minutes before confirmed. Hospital claimed we didn't recognize CA and were treating improperly; our EKG, BP, capno waveform, and SPO2 all have positive readings up until a full minute after arriving at the hospital. Partner had mild respiratory irritant from off gassing, in process of venting and deconing truck, my face, neck, and arms burn and itch, with coughing and burning chest. Supervisor, crew, and fire all questioned why hazmat response not called. All responders able to stay at work with no further health issues. Room in ER quarantined for 48 hours.

Lesson of the story: don't break into a tented house, you will die.
 
Called out for possible overdose on sleep aid (I am thinking Ambien while en route)

I arrived to find a 22 y/o F laying on couch in no distress, so I begin to interview the pt. She thinks she has ingested too much sleep aid, because she took higher than the printed dose approx 90 minutes ago. She felt like she needed a higher dose to sleep. Somewhat Understandable. I ask where the bottle is, and they bring me an off-brand OTC sleep aid. Active ingredient? Diphenhydramine of course. Dose was 50mg, she took 100mg. I asked her why she believed she had OD'd, and she states "I feel like I am going to pass out".

...out of reflex, I burst out with "then why don't you??"
 
Aw
IrishMedic said:
ok this was when i was training in the states....we get this call for "sick female". as we arrive on scene we are approached by a well dressed woman in here 30's, no obvious signs of distress, ambulating, unescorted etc. so i introduce myself and my partner and ask her wats goin on today..her response is "I've an iguana inside me". as my crew and i look at each other and we are all trying to come up with logical reasons for what she just said, i was thinkin inguinal hernia etc....i sorta stop and just ask her "when you say iguana, do mean the lizard??" she says yes, so we ask her to take a seat in the rig. so as we get her vitals...ALL normal Surprise!!!! and i palpate the abdomen, which showed no signs of a reptile being present!!!!! we ask her how it got there..." two years previous it had crawled in while she was sleeping....and has been there since"....so i ask her why she called us tonight, was she worried bout her health or the iguana's health etc...she states that its really there...i tell her im not questioning that, that im trying to determine exactly what to do and who im treating, she said she feels underfed cos the iguana takes her food....so i call in the report over the cell phone to the ED. you can imagine how that goes....this is unit.....we have female in 30's c/c iguana in abdomen. pt is AxO 3 and vitals are stable at this time. nkda, nkHx..we are 4 mins out do you require any further....at which point nurse asks "can you state c/c again, at docs request" i state again "pt states she has a lizard living in her stomach"

so we arrive at the ED and are Wheeling in the pt on the cot and as we get into the ED, Every nurse Doc, Security etc are standing in the station waiting to see us...we get directed to a room and as were passing the station the EMT with us..decides to let the pt know theyll run tests, but last time he checked iguana's dont show up on Xrays.....

I don't think there was a member of staff left standing and not crying with laughter in the whole dept....
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Awesome lol
 
Had a good one the other day and it made me think of this form. A patient called for an "itchy bum" when asked the exact area he stated "where the poop comes out". Sometimes I wish we could charge a fee for service to prevent this kind of thing.... Such a waste.
 
1930 Our unit was dispatched to a nursing home for sexual assault of a female.. no other info. My partner and I automatically think that this was staff vs pt and while we were on the way are thinking of all the scenarios that could have happened. We get on scene, PD is there (2 units) so we think.. "****.. things must have gotten pretty intense." Officer escorts us to the room then while in the elevator, we got a run down of what happened.
"A male resident with severe dementia was found naked from the waist down "thrusting" the frame of a female resident's bed who also has dementia"
"Was there any physical contact?"
"We don't know, but the female resident's diaper was still intact according to the nurses so we assume there was no penetration"
"When did this happen?"
"Around 1400" -_-
I go into the room to assess the pt. She's A&O x 0, non verbal and in the fetal position (aka her normal self). No signs of bruising or physical abuse, V/S stable.
We load the pt onto our stretcher and get escorted by the same PO downstairs. I asked "Any particular reason why 2 PD units were needed?" Cop goes "The male pt was running around naked and couldn't be still, he actually managed to run outside before we got on scene"..
Elevator door opens... and lo and behold... I look left and see a half naked old man walking towards me with 2 PO's right behind him saying "Sir, please.. we need you to put your clothes on".

I haven't and refuse to eat hot dogs since that day.
 
Patient walks into exam room (we have those, along with field work) at 3am due to coughing and chest pains. 25y/o M.
"When did the pain and coughing start?"
*straight face* "About a year ago."
"Come again?"
"Yeah, about a year ago. It didn't bother me until now."
*I do a quick lung and stat check. He is perfectly fine*
"Ok, you're fine. Go,see your doctor in the morning. And try to figure out what EMERGENCY means."

After that my tech informed me that his record for "emergency" visit was when he had a patient with leg pain who, when asked how long it hurt, answered "since 1975"!!! That was last year!
 
chaz90 said:
Hmm, I had one guy who called because he couldn't see well out of one eye. Using my outstanding paramedicking skills, I deduced that this was due to the loss of a contact from the eye in question. Best part is we ended up transporting anyway.
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Systems must be very different. If I drove someone like that to the hospital my dispatch and medical director would tear me seven new ones for wasting 3 hours of company time for non-emergency patient.
 
Sunburn said:
Systems must be very different. If I drove someone like that to the hospital my dispatch and medical director would tear me seven new ones for wasting 3 hours of company time for non-emergency patient.
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Eh, this one was a frequent flier and the transport only lasted ~5 minutes anyway. We really didn't have any ability to transport to alternative destinations or refuse transport, so since he wanted to go to the hospital we were stuck taking him. Not a huge deal on that occasion or anything new, but just one in a long line of everyday frustrations.
 
I think 3 pretty memorable call of mine were:

1) Two unconscious bare naked females who had thrown up on them selfs from too much drinking, it gets stranger when you find out they were HS Freshmen who had both their parents in the house.

2) A women who had been vomiting blood for two days but waited to call until 0010.

3) My very first call ever! The tones went out for "elderly women with difficulty breathing". We arrive on scene to find a perfectly fine 86yr old lady with of course 10 cats... We then found out that she called because she wanted us to 'empty her chamber pot' because it had 10 days of back log. We then explained to her that thats not what we do. One can say it was 'a ****ty call'
 
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2 back to back leg amputations... both done with chain saws, within an hour of one another....same flight crew as well.... just on opposite sides of the county... Chris
 
A mid 40s tweaker-looking woman who called because her neighbor was putting insects in her vagina. She knew this because her neighbor filmed it while the patient slept and showed her the video in the morning. She managed to catch one of them *******s and showed us a dead fly in a mason jar. She was also quite troubled because when she woke up there was an plastic figurine in her anus, but she didn't want to bring it with because it was covered in icky white stuff and she didn't want to touch it.
Or a 55 year old who wanted a ride across town but didn't want to be billed for it. So she proposed she provide oral sex in exchange for transport. She wanted us know what a great offer this was seeing as she had no teeth.
 
Thank you very much LACo I will never get those pictures out of my mind, pouring bleach on my head now to try and scrub it clean though
 
1)45 y/o "unspecified medical patient" turned out to be a 4 foot branch in the chest,
2) known gangster on meth "cc chest pain, mild sob", normal stats, upon exam found 4 separate abdominal gunshot wounds.
3) autistic child lost, no clothes, called in to 911 on his mom's cellphone and played hide and seek with dispatch in the woods at -10 degrees for 4 hours.
 
taking a pt from the er to the psychiatric hospital across the street via ambulance at 4am o_O
 
getting called to snf for ift to hospital for generalized weakness get to the pt and hes actively seizing while nurses are saying hes just weak
 
Responding to a GSW call. Found patient sitting on the ground. There was at least 20 wrappers of assorted candy on his lap. Patient appeared on some type of drug. He had one of those huge bags of candy Walmart sells during halloween full of starbusts, mini snickers, and all types of chewy candy. I asked him what had happened and he replied with "I was walking on the grass when I tripped and got cut" I replied with "sir... you got shot." o_O



Apparently some thugs used the man as target practice from a passing vehicle.
They got him once on the right leg.
 
Got dispatched for a possible OD. PD is on scene and fills us in. Find a 19yo M AAOx4 sitting on the couch. Start talking to him and everything seems fine except he's kinda going off on tangents about wanting fast food. Come to find out apparently cops where next door and he freaked thinking he was getting raided so he decided to eat very quickly a 1/2 pound of weed. He then called 911 claiming he believed he was ODing but refused to give any info on what he took so PD and dispatch thought it was something more severe so natraully they call us.
 
escapedcaliFF said:
Got dispatched for a possible OD. PD is on scene and fills us in. Find a 19yo M AAOx4 sitting on the couch. Start talking to him and everything seems fine except he's kinda going off on tangents about wanting fast food. Come to find out apparently cops where next door and he freaked thinking he was getting raided so he decided to eat very quickly a 1/2 pound of weed. He then called 911 claiming he believed he was ODing but refused to give any info on what he took so PD and dispatch thought it was something more severe so natraully they call us.
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1/2 pound?? That's impressive.
 
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