What is your most ridiculous call?

I don't have a lot of truly absurd stories. But this fall I got one and I don't think I ever put it up here.

I was driving to work minding my own business on a good sized divided state highway when I noticed probably ten cars pulled over in various states of disarray in the center median. As I put my coffee down I also notice two dead deer lying in the median as well. Now for whatever reason, my service sends an ambulance to non-injury traffic accidents, to include the many car vs. deer accidents we run on this highway. Given that it was about to be shift change, I stopped to confirm that it was in fact non-injury so that I could call the station and cancel the responding crew, which is something that we do all the time.

As I walked over to the bystanders it became apparent that people were freaking out hard. When I asked if anyone was hurt no one said anything comprehensible, just lots of babbling and hands over mouths. Then someone pointed about 10 yards away to an individual lying in the middle of the median covered in blankets and surrounded by more people with shocked expressions. I recognized one of these frantic people as a volunteer from a neighboring fire district and she yelled to me to "get your stethoscope, I can't get a blood pressure." In my under-coffeed state I did not really recognize the absurdness of this request and dutifully returned to my car to retrieve said stethoscope.

When I finally made it to the patient I realized we had a problem. There in front of me is a woman breathing once or twice a minute, trismused, decerbate posturing, and bleeding a fair bit from a massive scalp laceration. So much for getting a blood pressure. Lacking much in the way of equipment, we rolled the patient over to clear the airway, which saw most of the patient's teeth fall out as well. The volunteer then asked if I could try to get a BP again. Errrrr....

I asked the volunteer if she had a BVM and an NPA in her kit and she said "I have no idea" so she then unzipped the bag, turned it upside down, and proceeded to dump the entire contents of the bag into the median. Combing through the contents and brushing some dirt off along the way, I did end up getting an NPA and starting to bag.

At this point I could hear the ambulance and fire approaching and it dawned on me that I still had no idea what was going on. So I looked up, picked the most together looking person, and asked what exactly had happened. More babbling and finally "errraerrra she uh uh uh got hit by a by by a by a a a a uhhhh deer."

Initially I struggled to process this bit of information, as generally speaking person vs. deer incidents do not often result in two clearly dead deer next to the victim. So the best I could come up with was "no way man. You mean like trampled?" To which the bystander replied "no no no the deer it just, it just just, hit."

At this point the ambulance has arrived and my supervisor is coming down the median and he asks what we have. And of course all I can provide is "she got hit by a deer!" which was received with a "wait what?" "Yea, hit by a deer, obvious combative closed head, trismused, the works." So he said fine and went back to the ambulance to get his RSI stuff setup while the rest us of worked on getting her packaged and out of the median. RSI in the ambulance and then I drove us down to a trauma center in the city. Eventually she made a nearly full recovery and I am told lives independently.

And we did eventually figure out what happened, but of course only after giving report at the hospital to a doctor who was about as befuddled as we were.

As it turned out, our patient had hit a fawn and launched it into the median. In a misguided moment of love for animals, the woman got out to check on her victim. Several other people also joined her. Meanwhile, the mama deer returned to the scene and was struck by a pickup truck about seventy feet away. The force of the impact sent the deer rocketing through the air and yup you guessed it, struck the woman about the head at a high rate of speed.

It's not known which impact resulted in the deer's passing...
 
Winner for the chicken dinner today!!
 
Got dispatched to a person stuck in a tree about a year ago. The tree she was up in was a 5 foot drop on one side and a 15 foot drop on the other (tree was on a slope) so basically she could have just simply jumped down and that would have been that. But no, she was scared stiff and we had to climb on up there and walk her down. Oh and might inform you that we just sat down for dinner also. Not necessarily a totally ridiculous call, but more of a funny one.

Oh and Tigger that sucks for the woman but I laughed when I read your last paragraph. What are the odds of that!
 
dayymmnnnnn Tigger...

mama deer got her revenge, even in death? :huh: :unsure: :huh:
 
That's what we figured. The responding crew had 40 years of experience and both agreed that this one trumped any other "so we had this call the other day..." type of story.

That and the ED doc going "and this is why I support paramedics RSIing both contribute to the story inability to go away.
 
More of an annoying call.

Got called in the middle of the night (forget the chief complaint) for an "emergency." We arrive on scene to a homeless man sitting within a block of the ER. The two LEO's informed me that he was just discharged from said ER, as they refused to give him pain meds. PT says he needs a ride to a different hospital (30 mins away) because he has a doctors appointment there. He has no idea what appointment is for. I call hospital to check if this guy has an appointment, and they of course say no. Told the PT to get in the back and to not call 911 again for something a taxi could of handled.

Someone tell me why we cant refuse transport!
 
Picked up an ETOH 42 YOF at the gas station tonight. As I am standing near her putting her on the monitor, she reaches up caresses my cheek, and says "can I kiss your butthole?" The only thing i could manage to say was "uh, I gotta jump up front and drive us to the hospital".
 
I'm sure most of you have had the call where law enforcement calls an ambulance for an arrestee who's having a "seizure" (acute incarceritis). But I had one the other night that positively made me laugh.

Called out per LE request at a gas station and pulled up to see a few cops standing around a guy who is handcuffed and sitting on a pump island.

Cop: He's a deuce (DUI) but he says he feels like he's going to have a seizure.

The guy sits there grinning like a kid who found the prize in a Crackerjack box.

Me: Has he had a seizure?

Cop: Uh, no.

Me: Then why are we here?

...

Apparently they wanted me to "medically clear him" so they could take him to jail. My response? Until he actually has a seizure, my medical opinion is that he's full of sh*t and that you know better than to call us for this kind of nonsense.

Sigh...
 
Large Woman in dire need

Called to a residence where fire and PD are gathered on the porch laughing. Me and my partner are standing outside and the medic beckons us in. I see the largest woman I have ever seen. 500+ lbs. She is butt naked and is bent over a table with her crack caked in feces. She needed wiping. Not in my scope of practice is what I told the medic.
 
Called to a residence where fire and PD are gathered on the porch laughing. Me and my partner are standing outside and the medic beckons us in. I see the largest woman I have ever seen. 500+ lbs. She is butt naked and is bent over a table with her crack caked in feces. She needed wiping. Not in my scope of practice is what I told the medic.

Seriously? You won't help a patient attempt to maintain their own, what's the word, dignity?
 
well....regardless of how much i didnt want to i was still the designated one for the job for this kind of thing. It did get done
 
years ago my partner and I got dispatched to a call for severe constipation. When we get there the pt tells us he had been constipated x3 days. He continued to let us know that he drank a bottle and a half of prune juice the night before and woke up this morning had a bowel movement and now wants to go to the ER for diarrhea. unreal!!!
 
prescription refill....and she wanted to go to the farthest hospital in the county (didn't happen) and proceeded to be a b#### the entire ride. <_<
 
prescription refill....and she wanted to go to the farthest hospital in the county (didn't happen) and proceeded to be a b#### the entire ride. <_<

If it isn't a free service and/or the charge is by the mile, I'd happily escort her. Wouldn't really pay any attention to her though.
 
Called to a 42 y/o male with a c/c "I think I'm having a heart attack".
We arrive on scene and find him lying UC on the living room floor.
We check vitals.... all WNL.
After establishing an IV, hooking him to the 12 lead and several other things
Um.. okay. We decided to do some "tests".
First the hand drop test(s)... FAILED (missed his face every time)
Tried inserting a OPA... FAILED (clenched his jaw tighter then a dolphins butt)
So we were pretty sure this guy is faking it.
We get to the ED and drop him off and give the story to the RN.
She turns around and walks into the Pts room and loudly says " Okay we are going to need to get his temp.... hand me the rectal thermometer"

The Pt. suddenly awakes, jumps up and yells NOO.

Turns out he was having problems with his soon to be ex-wife and was looking for attention.


Oh my god, I should NOT read these stories in public, everyone is looking at me funny as I cackle with laughter :D
 
0300 call for a bad dream. The patient was in a nice house and middle aged. They seemed normal but had never had a bad dream in their life. so when they had their first bad dream....they called 911. lol
 
0300 call for a bad dream. The patient was in a nice house and middle aged. They seemed normal but had never had a bad dream in their life. so when they had their first bad dream....they called 911. lol


I had a guy that dreamt he was paralyzed. He woke up with his arm asleep and freaked and called 911 lol
 
Lady claimed she was having a stroke and she felt like she was going to die. No slurred speech or visual drooping of any side of the body, passed the stroke scale, BP was approx. 130/75." Are you dizzy?" "No....wait yes, yes I am." She answered every question correctly and promptly, and claimed she had no pain anywhere. She asked us to take her to a hospital 1 hour away because "she likes it the best there". Turns out she was a frequent flyer who had visited quite a few different hospitals in a few months notice.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Back
Top