Dumbest thing heard on the radio

Cop - "hey dispatch, roll me a rig for an assault victim, unconscious"
Disp - "do you guys have a second ambulance in service"
Medic - "negative. Do you want us to redirect?"
Disp - "no, continue in to that call"
Medic - "we haven't made patient contact yet, we can redirect if that unconscious in a higher priority than this call"
Disp - "continue in to your initial call"
Cop - "Dispatch, I'm pretty sure an unconscious is a higher priority than a migrane"
Disp - "Fine. Medic XX, you're redirecting to XX for the priority one assault victim, reported to be unconscious. ALS is responding."
 
The company I work at recently put another operations channel in use. Previously every company unit (wheel chair, BLS, ALS, Dedicated 911 Coverage ALS and Supervisors) all shared the shared the same frequency. This made as one might imagine makes for a lot of work for the dispatchers. Now we have a city channel and a "down south" channel.

Recently I was at a call that the medics had beat us to so I used the portable to call and ask if they needed anything inside. After a bunch of "A20 to P4" calls, I realized that I was on the down south channel and a truck 50 miles from me keyed up and asked me what the weather conditions were like "up there." I was rather embarrassed, and then dispatch laughed at me once I switched channels.

Not the stupidest I've heard, but the dumbest I've said.
 
I got pretty tongue tied the other day. For compliance stuff they have to have a clear recording of us saying "xxx on scene with/without fire"

My first transmission was blurred so they asked me to repeat. At the same time my partner asked me the address. So I called out "373 on scene with fire, wait 7305 on scene with fire, timeout dispatch let me try that again, Medic 3-0-5 on scene with the big red fire truck."

Address was 73, unit number was 305 :ph34r:

FNGs haha
 
FNG's.. "Rusty rider 213 to cowboy 1, you can show us code 6 in the saloon." aka r213 quarters

"rescue 222 in pursuit of 223" dispatch: "wha?"
 
I'll add to mine from earlier. Not really dumb but it was pretty hilarious, but maybe it was just me being delusional from sitting in the same parking lot for 8 hours. We ran 1 call in a 1 hour shift. Hands down the slowest shift I have ever worked.

Dispatch: "305"
Partner: "What's the address of the emergency!" while trying not to laugh
Dispatch laughing all the way through: "Southern coverage 305, the address is intersection1/intersection2 (one of our main hard posts), are you familiar with the location? :D "
Partner: "Thats a good rodger I think I can find it, dispatch show us en route."
Dispatch: "By the way stop for fuel on the way, all that idling you guys have been doing all day probably burned quite a bit."
Partner: "I'll have you know we have been working hard!"

I guess you'd have to know my partner. He's a man a few words and a rather mild sense of humor. Needless to say it was pretty funny coming from him.
 
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On my ride along last summer had one heck of a call dudes forekin got hooked in his gf birth control ring

Emt: 11x2 to medical direction come in please
Nurse: go ahead 11x2
Emt : we have two pt.s male and female stuck together at the generals male is complaing of a tearing pain please advise
Nursel:say again?
Medic takes the radio
Medic: hospital we have a pt.s who's uncircomsided foreskin is caught on his girl friends birth control ring we don't know how to handle this one please advise
Hospital: wait one
5mins later
Doctor: what position are they in ?
Medic: missionary?
Doctor: transport male on bottom and keep him aroused it should help stop the pain or at least releive some of it well see you in a few

That was the most awkward ride in an ambulance I've ever had
 
Vladamir von bone said:
On my ride along last summer had one heck of a call dudes forekin got hooked in his gf birth control ring

Emt: 11x2 to medical direction come in please
Nurse: go ahead 11x2
Emt : we have two pt.s male and female stuck together at the generals male is complaing of a tearing pain please advise
Nursel:say again?
Medic takes the radio
Medic: hospital we have a pt.s who's uncircomsided foreskin is caught on his girl friends birth control ring we don't know how to handle this one please advise
Hospital: wait one
5mins later
Doctor: what position are they in ?
Medic: missionary?
Doctor: transport male on bottom and keep him aroused it should help stop the pain or at least releive some of it well see you in a few

That was the most awkward ride in an ambulance I've ever had
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You know I was just talking to a coworker about this on a shift. I was wondering if something would ever happen where a male and female patient would have to be transported like that. I'll have to share this with him
 
While working 911 dispatch one night, took call on possible armed kidnapping in progress. Suspect vehicle was near one of our cities that had it's own PD, so they also responded and conducted a felony traffic stop on the vehicle.

Then I hear from an officer's open mic, "SUDDEN MOVES MAKE YOU DEAD!!!!"
 
Tonight over Fire tac channel. OrCo engine 34 to doctors ambulance. Doctors: Doctors 22 go ahead. OrCo: We need you guys for this diabetic involved in this TC. Doctors: Were 12-15 out due to traffic, would you like us to upgrade code 3? OrCo: Why were you not responding code 3 already? Doctors: Our dispatch instructed code 2. OrCo: Well? *heavy breathing* Get moving!
 
They had to have sex in front of us in the rig it was kinda awkward because every few mins we'd make small talk to try and get rid of the awkwardness
 
Vladamir von bone said:
They had to have sex in front of us in the rig it was kinda awkward because every few mins we'd make small talk to try and get rid of the awkwardness
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please explain 1) how this made it over the radio 2) why they HAD to have sex in front of you and 3) why didn't you suggest they stop them from having sex, or at least refrain from a time when they had more privacy?
 
DrParasite said:
please explain 1) how this made it over the radio 2) why they HAD to have sex in front of you and 3) why didn't you suggest they stop them from having sex, or at least refrain from a time when they had more privacy?
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Policy.. :rofl:

Read his first post about the call and what medical direction advised.
 
firefite said:
Policy.. :rofl:

Read his first post about the call and what medical direction advised.
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wooooooow missed that post.... well, if the doc tells you to do that.......:rofl:
 
DrParasite said:
wooooooow missed that post.... well, if the doc tells you to do that.......:rofl:
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That's why MDs make all the cash... forward thinking like "Have your partner turn the radio to something soft and slow..."
 
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Dispatch: Unit 75, I need you priority 1 to _______ hospital.
Unit 75: Copy, can we get a reference?
Dispatch: ST elevation MI, not a STEMI.
Unit 75: 10-9, dispatch?
Dispatch: ST elevation MI, not a STEMI.
Unit 75: Uh... thanks dispatch..... So us continuing.
 
"Central Respiratory Arrest with difficulty breathing"

Sometimes the obvious needs overstating<_<
 
fast65 said:
"Medic 123 I show you en route to that traffic collision. Be advised, there's a bunch of people running around, unknown reason."

Sent from my mobile command center
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Maybe they're in a hurry to exchange insurance info.
 
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