Dumbest thing heard on the radio

EMT424 said:
Here we get stuff like: " respond to _____. Patient non responsive, but breathing". I laugh every time because I have this image in my mind of someone breathing through their nether orifice. It is the eternal 11 year old in me I guess.
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Here when we get dispatched to an unconscious person, it comes
Across the computer as "unconscious - not alert"
 
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HotelCo said:
Here when we get dispatched to an unconscious person, it comes
Across the computer as "unconscious - not alert"
Click to expand...

Lmao gets me everytime
 
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Paramdic to dispact
sending patients name alpha siera siera whale hotel oscar lime echo
-sent from my phone
 
I have a friend who works in dispatch here in South Africa and I promise you, she can tell you guys stories of things she hears that you will cry laughing.
 
Dispatch: Medic 1, you are responding Priority 2 to 123 Elm Street for a 44 y/o female, unknown medical.
Medic 1: Medic 1 received, can we get a spelling for the street name?
Dispatch: That's Elm Street- E as in....... Igor, L-Lima, M-Mike.
 
its 0200 and getting back from a 140 mile round trip transport-----
me: "Unit 805 to Fire Control"
Dispatch: "Fire Control"
Me: "805 will be back in service and going to bed"
Dispatch: "805 back in service..... stand by for page"
Me: mentally thinking "youve got to be kidding me"
Dispatch: "ah just kidding good night"
 
ZVNEMT said:
i got a routine house call last year and got some interesting directions from my dispatcher, " Take Gratiot down, go until you see that one church, its been there about 30 years or so.... and make a left... go until you see the blue van thats always parked there... and uh... it's right around there..."

We had directions like this not to long ago it went: "go thru the 1st sharp corner, take the first left past the first dead tree you come to and stay to the right" mind you we are in a wooded area............. we come to yet another fork in the road I asked dispatch " um did the RP say anything about a big yellow bus and a........ goat?"
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This was heard on my towns public works frequency.

Truck 4: Truck 4 to base.

Base: Go ahead.

T4: Could you call PSNH (electric company here) and have them look at a pole on Smith Street.

(a few minutes later)

Base: Truck 4, PSNH is requesting details on your request.

T4: WE JUST HIT THE :censored::censored::censored::censored:ING POLE WITH THE PLOW AND ITS ABOUT TO COME DOWN ON US!
 
Dispatch: 55 yo female, unable to get out of chair, complaining of rigormortis.
Me: Uh, did you dispatch SO and OMI?
Dispatch: Uh, no. Why?

And the ubiquitous: "....unresponsive, butt breathing."
 
"Medic 100, a 9 echo 1, telephone CPR in progress."

A few minutes later the dispatcher says,

"medic 100, downgrade to a Delta. The call taker says he can hear the patient yelling 'get off me' in the background. Sounds like CPR is NOT indicated."
 
Dispatcher - "Medic 71, respond to Long Term Care facility for unconscious male pt, Delta Response."

Medic 71 - "10-4 Dispatch. Medic 71 is en route, do you have any additional Pt information?"

Dispatcher - "Pt has a trash can on top of his head."
 
"Central Respiratory Arrest with difficulty breathing"
----------
Central:"Ambulance *** 62 yr old female tripped over her dog, possible broken arm"
Random Guy on Radio: "Is the dog okay?"
Central: "I believe so."
-------
Also last week the crew I was relieving left the radio keyed up for 15 minutes and yeah...they weren't saying some nice things about the pt. they just transported.
 
We're gonna need a bigger rig

While transporting a pt to the ED, hear this call go out to another unit.

Dispatch: Rescue 3, I need you to respond to XYZ beach.
Rescue 3: Acknowledge dispatch, can you please advise reference.
Dispatch: Caller states that the patient was struck by a HUGE wave.

Couldn't stop laughing, our pt thought it was funny too.
 
Dispatcher: "Harbor Patrol Boat 3, can you advise if you're still on scene of the..... Ocean."
 
bystander to dispatch: send an ambulance for this guy, he's right here!! click!


bystander 2 (different phone call): he's still here at the bus stop.. click!

*i'm doing cpr on the guy* this was years ago before i got started in ems

i get bystander 3 to call and give correct info and got a rig out, medic climbs out and says you can stop now, son, it's been a while. he's done....
 
Yesterday, listening to the radio while at home.

Dispatch: EMS primary, please respond to XXXXXX for a cardiac arrest, 15:42

"Medic 301 to dispatch, did you get any more details?"

Dispatch: " I wasn't told if they were conscious or not"
 
NewTex said:
Yesterday, listening to the radio while at home.

Dispatch: EMS primary, please respond to XXXXXX for a cardiac arrest, 15:42

"Medic 301 to dispatch, did you get any more details?"

Dispatch: " I wasn't told if they were conscious or not"
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But did the dispatcher ask?
 
oops

Tones....United Area **** you have a call to **** on **** Rd.....

Pause....*thud* *more noise* *thud*

Female dispatcher "crapola"

Female dispatcher...new mic key "disregard United Area....wrong town"

Tones....(male dispatcher laughing) "Other town you have a call to...."
 
EMT4MX said:
Tones....United Area **** you have a call to **** on **** Rd.....

Pause....*thud* *more noise* *thud*

Female dispatcher "crapola"

Female dispatcher...new mic key "disregard United Area....wrong town"

Tones....(male dispatcher laughing) "Other town you have a call to...."
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We get wrong tones from time to time. It's usually not a big deal unless it wakes us up only to hear "305 disregard tones, 305 disregard tones."
 
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