Dumbest thing heard on the radio

22cent said:
Scene size up for a possible stucture fire:

Dispatch, you can show xxx on scene one story type V construction there is smoke showing from the B side of the building. It appears to be coming from the chimney on the roof. Break. Could we get a page for an engine response at this time?
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You can't be too careful!:unsure:
 
"four nine, I have you en route to a... Place... uhhhhhh, start for the 8 West, standby for further..."
 
Medic #@$, Engine #, Utility @ respond echo, @!@ Somedrive Trouble Breathing. 0233

I grab the rip n run...says pt is unconscious, inneffective breathing...heh ok.

We get there, guy is breathing *maybe* 3 times a minute. FD is checking hic glucose....

In my best sarcastic voice I ask if anyone wants to bag him... and of course I end up doing it myself.

So we request our Captain for extra ALS hands...

Captain %$ respond echo, assidt medic $@! with the trouble breathing patient.

medic $#! to some county/Captain #@ be advised pt is completely unresponsive and barely breathing.
 
Dispatch: 2319, what's your location?

2319: I'm on the road that leads to the road.

Huh?!?
 
We have one dispatcher, nice lady but is just flustered when more than one call comes in. One day three calls came in at once and after a few mins she pipes up on the radio and says "will everyone quit talking i have no idea whats going on"....not what you wanna hear when your unit is on its way to a echo (code).

Also we have a very proud dispatcher than credits herself on her medical knowledge and we got dispatched by her for a stat transfer for an "infected wall MI", my partner...being the nice guy he is, decides to give her the chance to correct herself and says "10-4 base, thats an infected wall MI" and very proudly over the radio pipes up our lovely dispatcher "thats 10-4 a Infected Wall MI".

She got the last laugh though as she hit me with a golf cart at our company golf tourney a few weeks later haha.
 
From call ins I have heard
- pt denies diaphoresis
-23 yo pt took 4 sprays of fathers nitro for s**ts and giggles.

Dispatch
-pt has a concussion to their knee.
- every once in a while we will get sent on a call where the actual call is in another province. New dispatchers are not used to this so they get pretty flustered and upset when we can't find the address.
 
Well I was working at my volunteer agency and we were out getting food and heard the next town over needed mutual aid. We knew exactly where it was going to be and it was our aid so we rushed to the scene.

Dis - Volunteer agency to this street address for a patient who fell
Driver - On scene
Dis - Wait what? You're at street address?
Driver - Yes. Street address.
Dis - Uhh okaaaay

We had actually gotten there before the paramedic and he was humored. Said, damn volunteer agency always getting to calls before they're dispatched.
 
"Medic Engine XX, Medic XX. Unconscious person at XXXX Cemetery."
 
"Patient has rectal discomfort"
 
"23 respond into 22's for a green bowel movement"

"23 transporting code 3 ALS to (crappy little hospital that nobody ever goes to unless it's dire)
 
"Priority 1 for a cardiac arrest, wait priority 2"

Sounds stupid if you don't work in our system and we get students that question it all the time. Priority 2 means the caller answered a question to indicate an obvious death. Still a Code 3 response but technically you can be diverted to a priority 1 call.
 
Heard this when my supervisor was doing a transfer back to the nursing home the other morning at 0200.

"Dispatch, medic xxx"

"Medic xxx, go ahead."

"We're off like a herd of turtles, starting mileage is 0.0"
 
A firefighter activated two fire departments to respond to a possible structure fire, after getting home to a house full of smoke.

His last words over the airwaves;

Firefighter-“Firebase, XXXX”

Firebase-“Go ahead XXXX”

Firefighter-“Disregard all responding units, it was just my damn wife’s cooking!”
 
I am from California and over the summer I was in West Virginia so I decided to see what a shift was like there. I took 16 calls with in 12 hours that day it was wild. What was even more wild was a call I heard over my radio while filling up the engine at a gas stop. . .

Unit: "Unit ___ to ______ Hospital"

Receiving Hospital: "Go ahead." (Male Voice)

Unit: "___y/old male, obvious trauma to right foot. Pt suffering from-"

Hospital: ---White Noise-----

Unit: "Unit ____ to ______ Hospital?"

Hospital: (FEMALE VOICE) "Hey Unit ____ . . . His insurance doesn't cover this company, and we are full up take him to ______ Hospital, it is closer and more equipped."

Unit: "Uhh, 10-4"


I inquired about the unusual call when I got back to the station. Apparently the woman who had interrupted the call was the man's wife. She was the on call RN at the receiving hospital.
The story was she was leaving him and her husband (the patient) decided it was a good idea ( after a few to many) to take his shot gun and shoot his foot off. This way she would have to help him and nurse him back to health thus falling back in love with him, and she wouldn't have that.

I do not know which hospital he went to, but I did see the picture of his foot, it was amazing. He had managed a clean slice and the doctor was dumbfounded that he managed to miss the big toe.
 
We were called to a man chain smoking ... Turned out they were Cheyne stoking
 
tnoye1337 said:
Well I was working at my volunteer agency and we were out getting food and heard the next town over needed mutual aid. We knew exactly where it was going to be and it was our aid so we rushed to the scene.

Dis - Volunteer agency to this street address for a patient who fell
Driver - On scene
Dis - Wait what? You're at street address?
Driver - Yes. Street address.
Dis - Uhh okaaaay

We had actually gotten there before the paramedic and he was humored. Said, damn volunteer agency always getting to calls before they're dispatched.
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Hahaha. Some of our calls will come over first on the Police department frequency first and at the end of the police dispatch the dispatcher will say something like "fire department being notified for the ambulance." It takes a good five minutes between that and when we actually get dispatched over the fire dispatch frequency. We're sometimes pulling up to scene just as they dispatch us. :D
 
"Dispatch, medic xxx we are ready and eager to save lives, transport the sick and injured and make a genuine difference"

Unit was going available from the hosptial. We were all standing around in the ambulance bay. Needless to say the crew from a rural FD who was cleaning their rig couldn't understand why we were all howling while the dispatcher choked back tears of laughter while he tried to copy the traffic.
 
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