# Has anyone dated or married a former patient?



## mycrofft (Jul 18, 2012)

How did that work out?


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## Lozenger19 (Jul 18, 2012)

I have & it worked out amazingly well. We are getting married, but haven't set the date yet


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## DesertMedic66 (Jul 18, 2012)

Most of my patients are on 5150 holds and the rest of my patients are grandparents who broke a hip........ So no


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## Aprz (Jul 18, 2012)

I guess you just don't like crazies.


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## firecoins (Jul 18, 2012)

No.


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## bstone (Jul 18, 2012)

I haven't. I think there is a pretty strong ethical argument to be made that it isn't allowed if you're primary interaction with this person is as your patient. If you already know them previous to your EMS interaction with them then it might be ok, but you should still seek an ethical consult.


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## slarve23 (Jul 18, 2012)

Does running a mva that included your gf at the time count... she ended up my pt!!!!


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## Veneficus (Jul 18, 2012)

bstone said:


> I haven't. I think there is a pretty strong ethical argument to be made that it isn't allowed if you're primary interaction with this person is as your patient. If you already know them previous to your EMS interaction with them then it might be ok, but you should still seek an ethical consult.



I agree.

Generally any romantic involvement with a patient or former patient is highly frowned upon.


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## Achilles (Jul 18, 2012)

bstone said:


> I haven't. I think there is a pretty strong ethical argument to be made that it isn't allowed if you're primary interaction with this person is as your patient. If you already know them previous to your EMS interaction with them then it might be ok, but you should still seek an ethical consult.



Gold !


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## firecoins (Jul 18, 2012)

If your interaction with them is solely a 911 call, you don't have enough of pt interaction to prevent a relationship. As long as your not having sex on calls or using pt info to pick them up, all is good.


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## bahnrokt (Jul 18, 2012)

firecoins said:


> If your interaction with them is solely a 911 call, you don't have enough of pt interaction to prevent a relationship. As long as your not having sex on calls or using pt info to pick them up, all is good.



Agreed, however the pt needs to be the aggressor asking for a number, email, Facebook, etc.  
Asking a pt out while on a call is begging to be fired.


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## Veneficus (Jul 18, 2012)

I worked at a hospital where a doctor who asked out the sister of a patient he was not the primary provider for was fired from residency. 

It will largely be dependant on the interpretation on what is right.

I have had a the sister of a patient while I was working 911 leave me her number on a vomit bag. 

I didn't call...

But I show people the unused bag. 

Still though, more classy than writing it on a diaper I guess.


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## citizensoldierny (Jul 18, 2012)

My parents, mom met dad when she had him as a patient in nursing school.


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## Anjel (Jul 18, 2012)

Like others have said....

I think as long as the patient is the aggressor. 

And it was a one time only patient contact. And it isn't the type of thing where you saved their life so you are their hero. And they are forever in debt to you.


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## Veneficus (Jul 18, 2012)

Anjel1030 said:


> Like others have said....
> 
> I think as long as the patient is the aggressor.
> 
> And it was a one time only patient contact. And it isn't the type of thing where you saved their life so you are their hero. And they are forever in debt to you.



That forever in your debt thing lasts only until they get the bill. 

Then they are pissed it costs so much.

When patients ask what they can do to repay me, i tell them cold.

"pay your bill on time, then we are even."


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## medicman14 (Jul 18, 2012)

I didn't run mine until after I married her...


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## mycrofft (Jul 18, 2012)

firefite said:


> Most of my patients are on 5150 holds and the rest of my patients are grandparents who broke a hip........ So no



HAHAHA You made my morning.


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## mycrofft (Jul 18, 2012)

I prefer "initiator" to "agressor"...

Had a couple patients try to fix me up with their daughters.
Be like the Lone Ranger, give 'em a silver bullet and hit the road.










PS: "Good faith" specifically mentions using emergencies as dating clubs as being a no-no. But people being people, things happen.

I'm not reading any horror stories here. Maybe people are embarrassed?


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## chillybreeze (Jul 18, 2012)

My step sister was in a MVC and the medic would go and check on her and help feed her (she broke both her arms) and they have been married for 30 years!


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## reddawn (Jul 18, 2012)

Yes, met a very nice young lady on an MVA 3 years ago. We are getting married this fall.


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## the_negro_puppy (Jul 18, 2012)

firecoins said:


> If your interaction with them is solely a 911 call, you don't have enough of pt interaction to prevent a relationship. As long as your not having sex on calls or using pt info to pick them up, all is good.



lol you'd have to be a smooth talker to go from "hi my name is xxx from the Ambulance" to doing the 'grown up thang' before you get to hospital :rofl:

Then I realise most of my patients are over 60 -_-


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## GorillaMedic (Jul 19, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> Had a couple patients try to fix me up with their daughters.
> Be like the Lone Ranger, give 'em a silver bullet and hit the road.



Truth. or granddaughters.

Seriously, though…I'd think ethically it would be very hard to justify a relationship based solely on a care provider–patient relationship. Even if the patient is the "initiator". Its begging to be fired and possibly to have state action—simply not worth it.

Now, if a relationship were to develop apart from and outside the patient relationship—as in, if you were to meet under entirely different circumstances, then it might be ethically and legally ok. Still seems risky.

I'll be honest—I have not run into a single patient that seemed like good dating material. Seriously, folks…


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## fortsmithman (Jul 19, 2012)

Sounds like what Carlos Nieto from third watch would do.  Wait he did do it.


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## Handsome Robb (Jul 19, 2012)

GorillaMedic said:


> I have not run into a single patient that seemed like good dating material. Seriously, folks…



Quoted for truth.


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## epipusher (Jul 19, 2012)

My wife was my former emt partner. We were partners for 2 years before and after marriage. She now works in a different field. We have been married almost 7 now.


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## mycrofft (Jul 20, 2012)

So cool. Very best to you and all the folks who said they've married a former partner.


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## Underoath87 (Jul 21, 2012)

I work IFT, so the few young and attractive women I've transported were:
A) just going to another hospital for tests with their boyfriend in tow
B) the mother of our pediatric patient/about to deliver a child
C) psych transfers (I'm into the crazies, but that's just begging for trouble).


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## MunchkinMedic (Jul 21, 2012)

I've dated a patient before. We picked him up from a TC & later on, he tracked me down on FB & we've become good friends since then. I also was very up front with my supervisor, just to keep it from becoming an issue later on


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## VCEMT (Jul 24, 2012)

No, however,their family members and friends have made offers. What I do on my days off are my business. Being in this business and just plain life experience has made me aware of who is crazy and dangerous. I know how to say, no.


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## bigbaldguy (Jul 25, 2012)

chillybreeze said:


> My step sister was in a MVC and the medic would go and check on her and help feed her (she broke both her arms) and they have been married for 30 years!



Just saw this I think it's awesome. What a great story.


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## bahnrokt (Jul 25, 2012)

bigbaldguy said:


> Just saw this I think it's awesome. What a great story.



I'm glad it worked out, but I don't know how most agencies and hospitals feel about ems staff coming back to visit patients. My primary hospital is not a fan of "how did __ make out?".


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## socalmedic (Jul 26, 2012)

I have, we had alot of fun but looking back it wasn't the best idea I ever had.  In my defense I never gave her my number or asked her out, she found me after the fact. She found me on Facebook about a month later. The what I realized later was that I don't have my last name on my uniform and never gave her my name... Should have been clue one that she was a crazy b----. Like more nuts than an er nurse, but very skilled in certain adult activities...


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