# Subjects They Never Taught You In EMT-B School



## mycrofft (Jul 23, 2011)

Tongues in cheeks, folks!:rofl:

1. "Boot Buying and Tying".

2. "EM-FU", the new martial art, involving boot knives, aluminum clipboards, "D" cylinders, fire extinguishers, and huge sidearms.

3. "Maps and Orientation (plus Garmin)".

4. "EMS Nutrition (or, how to make anything into a sandwich in nothing flat)".

5. "SLEEP DEPRIVATION 101 (or, how my circadian cycle, cycles)".

6. "How to Look Good in a Jumpsuit (before you lose those fifteen pounds)".

Others?


----------



## sirengirl (Jul 23, 2011)

mycrofft said:


> 2. "EM-FU", the new martial art, involving boot knives, aluminum clipboards, "D" cylinders, fire extinguishers, and huge sidearms.




You forgot the good ol' backboard sandwich 



7. How to keep a straight face on ridiculous calls.


----------



## DesertMedic66 (Jul 23, 2011)

In addition to to sandwich is "what restaurants/fast-food places stay open 24 hours".


----------



## sirengirl (Jul 23, 2011)

Which reminds me, in addition to #6, "How to get blood out of a white uniform shirt."


----------



## medicdan (Jul 23, 2011)

sirengirl said:


> Which reminds me, in addition to #6, "How to get blood out of a white uniform shirt."



Like ^.
How to keep your lunch in a broad range of odors. 
Dispatcher bashing 103
Dialysis 206


----------



## dstevens58 (Jul 23, 2011)

firefite said:


> In addition to to sandwich is "what restaurants/fast-food places stay open 24 hours".



In addition to this, which restaurants will take your food, re-make/re-warm when you get a call in the middle of dinner.


----------



## Sasha (Jul 23, 2011)

Where the clean restrooms are

Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk


----------



## JPINFV (Jul 23, 2011)

How to TUBE patients. 

Which hospitals give free food...


----------



## JPINFV (Jul 23, 2011)

Sasha said:


> Where the clean restrooms are
> 
> Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk



You mean the bed pan in the back of the ambulance isn't for crew use?


----------



## Epi-do (Jul 23, 2011)

101 Ways to tell a patient they do not need an ambulance without actually saying, "You do not need an ambulance."


----------



## mycrofft (Jul 23, 2011)

"Advanced Vehicle Inspection/Change of Shift"
("All the important points, like wiper blades, oxygen level, leftovers crammed into the door pockets behind the maps, and leaving the battery switches on so the battery dies").


----------



## nemedic (Jul 23, 2011)

sirengirl said:


> Which reminds me, in addition to #6, "How to get blood out of a white uniform shirt."



Hydrogen peroxide followed by a clorox wipe


----------



## abckidsmom (Jul 24, 2011)

Epi-do said:


> 101 Ways to tell a patient they do not need an ambulance without actually saying, "You do not need an ambulance."



LOL![GVIDEO][/GVIDEO]
This needs to spin off into its own thread


----------



## Sasha (Jul 24, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> You mean the bed pan in the back of the ambulance isn't for crew use?



Im sure you could use it, but i wouldnt want to put my naked butt near it, its probably crawling with mrsa, kpc, vre etc.

Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk


----------



## sirengirl (Jul 24, 2011)

nemedic said:


> Hydrogen peroxide followed by a clorox wipe



I got the peroxide but no wipes. Never heard that before. Mine ended up being a mix of peroxide, lemon dish soap, and windex.


----------



## Sasha (Jul 24, 2011)

sirengirl said:


> I got the peroxide but no wipes. Never heard that before. Mine ended up being a mix of peroxide, lemon dish soap, and windex.



Some hospitals here have clorox wipes. Amazing they get anything out.

Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk


----------



## abckidsmom (Jul 24, 2011)

Sasha said:


> Some hospitals here have clorox wipes. Amazing they get anything out.
> 
> Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk



Glad we wear navy shirts.


----------



## usalsfyre (Jul 24, 2011)

mycrofft said:


> and leaving the battery switches on so the battery dies



Crap, this is a Master's level course around here with the various combinations of what has to be left on and turned off to get the A/C to run off a shoreline and the battery to charge but NOT leave the lights, outlets ect on so the current draw exceeds the charger. It's different in seemingly every single truck, even sister trucks.


----------



## usalsfyre (Jul 24, 2011)

abckidsmom said:


> Glad we wear navy shirts.



Whoever saw white shirts and went "that'd be a GREAT color for EMS!!" was obviously in management.


----------



## mycrofft (Jul 24, 2011)

*"Uniform Decon: Advanced Studies"*

There will be practicums including the following: meconium, CSF, stool, urine, charcoal/mannitol, pizza sauce, brains, blood, vomitus, and tobacco residue.


----------



## dmc2007 (Jul 24, 2011)

emt.dan said:


> Like ^.
> Dialysis 206



Featuring such topics as:
*Treatment chair operation
*Patient weighing and on-glove subtraction
*Dodging Paratransit vehicles and finding alternative routes to entrances blocked by said vehicles
*Corporate policies of DaVita and Fresenius

To be taken with Phys Ed 308: Weight Lifting for Sheet Drags and Extremity Lifts.


----------



## jjesusfreak01 (Jul 25, 2011)

dmc2007 said:


> *Corporate policies of DaVita and Fresenius



Ahh, so these are national chains...


----------



## dmc2007 (Jul 25, 2011)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> Ahh, so these are national chains...



Yep.  There's also DCI, but Fresenius and DaVita are by far the dominant players in the market.


----------



## JPINFV (Jul 25, 2011)

dmc2007 said:


> Yep.  There's also DCI,


Drum Corps International runs dialysis clinics?


----------



## Bullets (Jul 26, 2011)

i was going to say medicine, but you said this was a joking thread

Backtalking Dispatchers
That smell you cant stop smelling
lockpicking, gaining entry, slim jims ect


----------



## medichopeful (Jul 26, 2011)

Bullets said:


> i was going to say medicine, but you said this was a joking thread



lol so was I! :rofl:


----------



## AJ Hidell (Jul 26, 2011)

Sasha said:


> Im sure you could use it, but i wouldnt want to put my naked butt near it, its probably crawling with mrsa, kpc, vre etc.


This thread is useless without pitchers.


----------



## Epi-do (Jul 26, 2011)

AJ Hidell said:


> This thread is useless without *pitchers.*



Just for you, AJ...


----------



## JPINFV (Jul 26, 2011)

Sasha said:


> Im sure you could use it, but i wouldnt want to put my naked butt near it, its probably crawling with mrsa, kpc, vre etc.
> 
> Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk



Use the hover method...


----------



## AJ Hidell (Jul 26, 2011)

Epi-do said:


> Just for you, AJ...


Excellent examples!  Even though Cliff Lee is a Judas.


----------



## Hunter (Jul 27, 2011)

usalsfyre said:


> Whoever saw white shirts and went "that'd be a GREAT color for EMS!!" was obviously in management.



And then all the other people who followed that person...


----------



## johnrsemt (Jul 27, 2011)

How to use rubber bands around your pant legs at the boots to keep things out of the inside of your pants legs.

  Also how to use the same rubber bands on the sprayer handle at the kitchen sink


----------



## ITBITB13 (Jul 27, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> Drum Corps International runs dialysis clinics?





Hahahaha. Fellow DrumCorps fan? About time I find one in this field..


----------



## katgrl2003 (Jul 27, 2011)

usalsfyre said:


> Whoever saw white shirts and went "that'd be a GREAT color for EMS!!" was obviously in management.



And similar to that, whoever saw the white button downs and thought they would be great. Or the black polos in the middle of summer.... :wacko:


----------



## Epi-do (Jul 27, 2011)

AJ Hidell said:


> Excellent examples!  Even though Cliff Lee is a Judas.



I can't stand baseball, so I don't have a clue who the guy in the pic is.  Just couldn't resist posting...


----------



## EMT11KDL (Aug 8, 2011)

Everyone forgot Relationships with ER Staff 304


----------



## usalsfyre (Aug 8, 2011)

EMT11KDL said:


> Everyone forgot Relationships with ER Staff 304



Usually its more like "Relations with ER staff" .


----------



## Sasha (Aug 8, 2011)

usalsfyre said:


> Usually its more like "Relations with ER staff" .



Or fueds

Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk


----------



## EMT11KDL (Aug 10, 2011)

this was the 304 level course, Relations is the pre req haha


----------



## Bullets (Aug 11, 2011)

Sasha said:


> Or fueds
> 
> Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk


 or fist fights


----------



## EMT2B (Aug 13, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> Use the hover method...



Not nearly as easy as it may possibly sound! :blink:


----------



## CaydenElizalde (Aug 16, 2011)

MM2A said:


> How to run a forum.









I wish they would've taught us how to deal with the smell of those "severely dead" patients. Never gets old.


----------



## EMSBabe18 (Aug 23, 2011)

Ivan_13 said:


> Hahahaha. Fellow DrumCorps fan? About time I find one in this field..



There are a couple of us here


----------

