# Odd Situation



## traumateam1 (Sep 5, 2008)

A little bit of background for this scenario I was faced with, while off duty.
Chris, who is my friends brother is on my msn. He has some medical conditions, including depression and anxiety. His parents recently divorced a couple of years ago and ever since then he has been on a downward spiral. No school for 2 years, leaves the house once in a few months, has no more friends but online ones, and can get Very violent at times. Recently, his father kicked him out because Chris went of a rampage almost committed suicide and hurt his father. He went back to school at the beginning of September, he had an anxiety attack on Tuesday.

Now for the scenario: I was relaxing with my girlfriend last night and on EMTlife for fun when I got a msn message from him. This is what it said. "mitch, MITCH!" i replied and he said "is it bad to have norvasc 30, 17 prozac and 3 advil?" So I of course told him it was very dangerous and that he needed to tell his mom and call 9-11 to go to the hospital. He refused saying he didn't want anyone to know and have to go live with foster parents. I told him again that he was at serious risk and needed to see a doctor ASAP. He then told me he was going to go lay down. I told him I was calling 9-11, and he said "no your not calling anyone!" Then it hit me. He just moved, I don't know where he lives, and his mother just got re married so I don't know the last name or phone number. So here is a teenager, who could possibly be over dosing right then and there and I have no way to get an ambulance to his house! I called his dad, but no answer. I started to get worried knowing his hx of attempted suicides. He moved out of town, and hasn't been to a hospital or clinic here in town that I know of. 
So my question for all of you, *what do you do in this situation?!?!*

It turns out that another medic I have on my msn knows the family, called his mother and told her to call 9-11. So if it wasn't for him, I don't know what I could have done. Called dispatch and told them the name of the kid and let dispatch, EMS, and police figure out his address or keep trying family?
Any info would be great.. and has there been anyone on here in a similar situation?


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## liftwithlegs (Sep 5, 2008)

I would probably have called 911 right off the bat, given them what I know, and let them trace around while I tried myself, and called them back with any other details I got. It looks like it all worked out for you in the end, so congrats on that, you acted well.


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## firetender (Sep 7, 2008)

The important thing is you did something.You did what you could. He very well could have died. This is the essence of EMS.


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## mycrofft (Sep 7, 2008)

*Wanna get mad? Then read on.*

This is rooted in two years' experience on a telephone crisis intervention service, plus civilian and military ambulance and training in the jails.

Since I don't know your friend (and how well do YOU know him?), I can't tell you this is his case for sure, but there are going to be people who threaten suicide, or actually make a suicidal gesture, then use it as a bid for care and attention, sometimes even for revenge. At first it is very exciting to respond to these, but the third or fourth time it gets to be just distressing and maybe even enraging because the subject starts playing every interpersonal game to avoid making progress and stop the drama. The other possibilities are that this person is acutely mentally ill (paranoid-schizophrenic as well as depressed..and what better reason to be depressed?) or, heaven forbid, just plain screwing with your head.

*This is the territory for professionals who are not personally involved*. Don't enable continued behavior, give the person referral, call 911 if needed but don't give the person the personal attention and coddling this can generate. And take care of yourself, too. OK??

PS: It is a hard observation, but "friends" made while they are in this sort of mental illness are rarely kept, and can in fact become very vindicive if you break the rules of their "rescue" game. ("How could you leave me to die, you filthy piece of booger? Now I have to key your car/slur you on line etc"). Murphy said "Never go to bed with someone crazier than yourself", and that applies to friendships too.:sad:


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## traumateam1 (Sep 8, 2008)

> Since I don't know your friend (and how well do YOU know him?)


Well he is my best friends (since grade 3 lol) younger brother. I know him pretty well, he tells me stuff that his dad and brother don't know.


> This is the territory for professionals who are not personally involved. Don't enable continued behavior, give the person referral, call 911 if needed but don't give the person the personal attention and coddling this can generate. And take care of yourself, too. OK??


Yes, I let a professional (9-11) that's not personally involved deal with it, thats why I called 9-11. Also, I don't enable the behavior. I know I'm not a professional at this type of behavior, but I do my best and I definitely DO NOT enable it. And lastly, I do take care of myself.


> PS: It is a hard observation, but "friends" made while they are in this sort of mental illness are rarely kept, and can in fact become very vindictive if you break the rules of their "rescue" game.


Well since I've known him for MANY years, I talked to him the other day, after he was released from the hospital, and he thanked me for doing what I did. He said that he was thankful, and I guess they gave him activated charcoal and all that. 
Thank you for the advice, it is much appreciated. It sorta caught me off guard.


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## BossyCow (Sep 8, 2008)

I think with the personal connection, you would have to do what you did at the very least. It's difficult to tell what is a suicidal gesture and what is a suicide attempt. To ignore or minimize the event because it might be merely a bid for attention, means that when the attempts get more serious, as they generally will, one of them will be fatal. A cry for attention is a cry for help. You did good!


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## mycrofft (Sep 8, 2008)

*Good on you, then!!*

You've been dealt a tough hand, and I'm betting you'll do fine.
A family we have been close to for twenty years, watched our kids grow up, recently had their son diagnosed with a very similar disorder with a similar course so far. It isn't easy, but if you turn away, then who are you? Hang tough!
(I said you'd get mad!)


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## mikie (Sep 9, 2008)

firetender said:


> The important thing is you did something.You did what you could. He very well could have died. This is the essence of EMS.



Amen.

I have been in similar situations where I did call 911 for someone else because I had reason to believe they were suicidal or about to or had already over-dosed on their meds.  

So good work!  It's always though.  Any bit of help you can offer is better than no help at all.


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