# Looking for Fellow LGBT EMTs



## GayEMTNJ (Aug 14, 2007)

Hi all,

I just learned about this site and have gotten a lot of good info from.  I am a BLS level provider and have been involved in EMS for about 10 years now.  I was interested in seeing if there were other LGBT people on the job and talking about their experiences.

Beyond that, I look forward to a lot of good information and postings and extend a greeting from the Garden State.


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## Chimpie (Aug 14, 2007)

Welcome to the forum.


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## firecoins (Aug 14, 2007)

I have worked with a couple here and there. One is a lesbian but keeps it semi private for personal reasons.  Another is a guy who also keeps it somewhat separate from the local EMS community.  Neither is in my volunteer corp. Just friends I know from around.


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## rgnoon (Aug 14, 2007)

Welcome to the forum! Its always good to see others from jersey. 

P.S. Thanks for the encouraging words..I feel that I did pretty well.


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## GayEMTNJ (Aug 14, 2007)

firecoins said:


> I have worked with a couple here and there. One is a lesbian but keeps it semi private for personal reasons.  Another is a guy who also keeps it somewhat separate from the local EMS community.  Neither is in my volunteer corp. Just friends I know from around.



That has kind of been my experience as well.  I know a lot of out young guys and girls but people my age tend not to be as open about it.  As a result, it is difficult to find a sounding board and someone to chat with and hence my post.


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## babygirl2882 (Aug 14, 2007)

Hey! Welcome! I personally don't think sexual orgin matters....I mean when I'm talking to them there the same person, love is love  Actually my best friend is a lesbian...we are co-presidents of the GSA together  umm ya again.... HI!


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## firecoins (Aug 15, 2007)

GayEMTNJ said:


> That has kind of been my experience as well.  I know a lot of out young guys and girls but people my age tend not to be as open about it.  As a result, it is difficult to find a sounding board and someone to chat with and hence my post.



1 of them hust finished up a medic program and has an interest in signing up.  Thats all I am saying.

I had 2 gay roommates in college. I went to NYU.  Both were very open about their sexuality. The funny thing was 1 of them went to the NYU business school. One of his classmates told him there are no gays in the business school not realizing her was gay. When my roommate told me this, I couldn't stop laughing. I wish it was a more open topic in EMS.


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## MMiz (Aug 15, 2007)

Welcome to EMTLife!

Many of the medics I've worked with were gay.  I'd even say that I've worked with more gay people in EMS than in any other job.


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## Ridryder911 (Aug 15, 2007)

Personally, do not see the need in announcing sexual orientation, unless one is seeking attention from it. Who cares ? 

R/r 911


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## GayEMTNJ (Aug 15, 2007)

*Reasons why*



Ridryder911 said:


> Personally, do not see the need in announcing sexual orientation, unless one is seeking attention from it. Who cares ?
> 
> R/r 911



I can understand why you would see it that way.  However, there are lots of reasons why I think it does matter.  I think it promotes trust and honesty.  I have worked with some closeted guys over the years and they usually get branded as loners because they tend to avoid the group to avoid uncomfortable situations where they have to talk about their personal lives.  I generally don't tell people but I've had co-workers say to me "hey you're a nice guy, I can fix you up with my [sister, cousin, girlfriend's best friend]..." and it feels like the only way to avoid hurting someone's feelings is to tell the truth.

It's also safer.  I had friend who has since left the service who was closeted because of his FT job but a couple of times people insinuated that they may out him if he pushed an issue.  At one time, he was a department head and he resigned because he was making a lot of changes and I think he got worried about the consequences.

Finally, it's important sometimes for propriety.  I once had to sit on a review board for a discipline action.  It involved a complaint of same-sex harassment.  This is really what prompted me to come out because I felt if I didn't come out and it was discovered later, it might affect people's perception of the impartiality of the review board.  A wise friend told me once "it is important not only to avoid impropriety but also the appearance of impropriety."

However, once out, it opened a whole other set of issues for me.  A lot of closeted guys tend to avoid me because of fear that they will be outed if they are seen hanging around with me.  I have a lot of good friends in the department but often they just don't see things the same way as I do.  I guess I'm just looking for a mentor.


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## ffemt8978 (Aug 15, 2007)

Ridryder911 said:


> Personally, do not see the need in announcing sexual orientation, unless one is seeking attention from it. Who cares ?
> 
> R/r 911



GayEMTNJ,

You make some very valid points, but I find myself agreeing with Rid on this one.  On an internet forum it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is, how you're dressed, or even if you are dressed.  The point is, no one here will know unless you announce it.

Does it affect the way you will interact on the forum?  Nope, and nobody here will treat you different if your gay, straight, or even the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater.  B)


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## firecoins (Aug 15, 2007)

If the person either talk too much about their sexuality or tries hide to hide the obvious, it becomes very annoying. I just find it a much healthier enviornment, that everyone knows up front and we move on to the more important stuff.


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## GayEMTNJ (Aug 15, 2007)

ffemt8978 said:


> GayEMTNJ,
> 
> You make some very valid points, but I find myself agreeing with Rid on this one.  On an internet forum it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is, how you're dressed, or even if you are dressed.  The point is, no one here will know unless you announce it.
> 
> Does it affect the way you will interact on the forum?  Nope, and nobody here will treat you different if your gay, straight, or even the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater.  B)



I'm sorry I guess I never explained myself very well.  I'm not concerned about how people will treat me on the forums.  Obviously, that's the beauty of the internet.  I was looking more for people I could talk to offline a bit about their experiences and get some feedback.

Like a few weeks a colleague came back from a call and was complaining about a patient and said "this guy was a real sissy baby, I felt like just saying to him 'shut up faggot.'"  I know what he meant and I didn't take it personally and just let it slide but I was hoping to get someone else's experience with this.  Unfortunately, I'm sure everyone has an opinion on it but it is a little different for me.

It wasn't my goal to clog up the forums with anything but just look for some people to chat with privately and off-line.

Sorry for the confusion and bringing all of this up.  I guess it really was the wrong approach.


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## Tincanfireman (Aug 15, 2007)

GayEMTNJ said:


> Sorry for the confusion and bringing all of this up. I guess it really was the wrong approach.


 
I disagree, this forum has always been a great place to express opinions and views. As long as we keep it above board and follow our Moderator's guidance about staying away from personal attacks, everything's cool.  The day we start staying away from controversial threads is the day this board will begin to fade away.  I don't put in my .02 on every topic that gets mentioned, but that doesn't mean they aren't thoughtful and interesting.


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## firecoins (Aug 15, 2007)

Controversial topics need be brought up although one was not being brought up.


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## ffemt8978 (Aug 15, 2007)

GayEMTNJ said:


> I'm sorry I guess I never explained myself very well.  I'm not concerned about how people will treat me on the forums.  Obviously, that's the beauty of the internet.  I was looking more for people I could talk to offline a bit about their experiences and get some feedback.
> 
> Like a few weeks a colleague came back from a call and was complaining about a patient and said "this guy was a real sissy baby, I felt like just saying to him 'shut up faggot.'"  I know what he meant and I didn't take it personally and just let it slide but I was hoping to get someone else's experience with this.  Unfortunately, I'm sure everyone has an opinion on it but it is a little different for me.
> 
> ...



Okay, maybe I misunderstood your reason for bringing it up.  I have no problem with the subject, but do have my own personal views and beliefs about it.  I just couldn't understand why you felt it was necessary to announce it on the internet, but now I do.


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## brassguy (Aug 15, 2007)

Hi and welcome, gayemtnj!!!! Unfortunatly I have not yet begun my career in EMS to let you know how it is but I hope it is going to be okay!!!  The thing I am *not* looking forward to is making the step to firefighter and being out!!!!! I am dreading that!!!! Living in a home situation with other men and women who might not be keen to it!!!! That's going to take some time!!!!!

Eric


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## GayEMTNJ (Aug 16, 2007)

Hey thanks for posting Brassguy!

We're a third service so I don't have much day-to-day interaction with the fire department.  Back in the day we used to share the same station.  My experience was be straightforward and then get to back to work.

One the firefighters was joking about something (there must have been a story about something gay on the news) and he just turned to me smiled, and said "you know never really gave us an option about accepting you.  You basically said 'Look this is how it is, if you don't like it, tough s@#t and can we please get back to f&*%&ng work. and then did just that."  

Of course at that time, I was a well-established member of the department and had earned my stripes.  But I still remember that.


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## BossyCow (Aug 16, 2007)

See... look, you've already increased the understanding of several in this forum alone about the issues sexual orientation can raise in a workplace.  Well done!


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## Jay114 (Aug 16, 2007)

Greetings and welcome to the forum!


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## hitechredneckemt (Aug 17, 2007)

Welcome to the forum. I dont see why anyones sexual preference is any concern. One of the best medics i know is gay and it never has effected his job performance. i think closed minded people are the ones that should sit in the corner with there mouths shut


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## firecoins (Aug 17, 2007)

hitechredneckemt said:


> Welcome to the forum. I dont see why anyones sexual preference is any concern. One of the best medics i know is gay and it never has effected his job performance. i think closed minded people are the ones that should sit in the corner with there mouths shut



I don't think anyone was saying being gay affected performance. The issue is whether gay EMTs & Medics were open about being gay or whether it was kept a secret to coworkers.


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## Ridryder911 (Aug 17, 2007)

I personally do not approve of homosexuality, from the view of my personal faith and beliefs. I believe it is wrong...period. 

This does not mean, I cannot work, socialize, and be friends of those that are homosexual. I have obviously worked and been close friends that are homosexuals. 

I do not treat them any differently, obvious they know my personal beliefs, and views.  The same way I feel of others that may not have the same view point or beliefs. 

I may not approve of their behavior but I will not belittle or discriminate, or treat ill anyone that may not "fit" my own beliefs.  If I do, that would be against, what I was taught as well.

One can believe that actions or behavior may not be appropriate or even right, but can treat each other with respect and "human kindness and love". 

R/r 911


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## PArescueEMT (Aug 20, 2007)

hi Gay... welcom to the forum... sorry for not doing this earlier.

I have worked with gays in EMS, but it has no effect on me as long as they don't try to impose homosexuallity on me. i have no problems with it, but it's not for me. I agree with almost everyone with the fact that it should not matter, but not many people agree with us on that note.

Good luck in all of your future situations in that matter

Zak


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## brassguy (Aug 21, 2007)

PArescueEMT said:


> hi Gay... welcom to the forum... sorry for not doing this earlier.
> 
> I have worked with gays in EMS, but it has no effect on me as long as they don't try to impose homosexuallity on me. i have no problems with it, but it's not for me. I agree with almost everyone with the fact that it should not matter, but not many people agree with us on that note.
> 
> ...



What exactly do you mean by "impose homosexuality on me"??

Eric


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## PArescueEMT (Aug 21, 2007)

this one guy that i worked with  wouldn't shut up when telling me that i should get with a guy..."nothing's better" his exact words. 'impose homosexuallity' was the best way i could think of to describe it.i told him several times to drop the issue before i requested a partner change.


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## firecoins (Aug 21, 2007)

PArescueEMT said:


> this one guy that i worked with  wouldn't shut up when telling me that i should get with a guy..."nothing's better" his exact words. 'impose homosexuallity' was the best way i could think of to describe it.i told him several times to drop the issue before i requested a partner change.



yes I figure that would be annoying.  But that is an anomoly. Most gay men would not hit on a straight man. Or at least stop after the first no.


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## PArescueEMT (Aug 21, 2007)

there was no offence intended by the comment... i actually worked with a lesbian (and jon knows) that i would enjoy some of the torment that she put me thru.... checking her back for scratch marks, etc. but that too is an anomaly. this was a girl that i was trying to find a was to hook up with myself. but i behaved after the first 2 maybe's and first no.


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## brassguy (Aug 21, 2007)

firecoins said:


> yes I figure that would be annoying.  But that is an anomoly. Most gay men would not hit on a straight man. Or at least stop after the first no.



I wouldn't dream of hitting on a straight man! Constantly joking with a partner about it would be annoying to *anyone* but so is a lifetime of "so where's _your_ wife" or playing the "switch the pro-noun game"(switching he for she). I just keep my mouth shut until someone asks me, yea I am proud but it's none of my co-workers business.


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