# ABC's of being an EMT!



## RWC130 (Aug 15, 2007)

ABC's of being an EMT! 

ABC - Ambulate Before Carry

ABC - Airway Billing Collections

AMF-YOYO - Adios Mother F-----, You're On Your Own

A.F.U. - All F*@#%! Up 

AHF - Acute Hissy Fit

AQR - Ain't Quite Right

ART - Assuming Room Temperature

BMW - :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: Moan & Whine 

BOHICA - Bend Over Here It Comes Again

CATS - Cut All to Sh*t

CC - Cancel Christmas

CCFCCP - Coo Coo For Cocoa Puffs

CTD - Circling the Drain

DFO - Done Fell Out

DILLIGAF - Do I Look Like I Give a F#%$ ?

DND - Damn Near Dead

DOB - Dead on Bed

DRT - Dead Right There

DPS - Dumb Parent Syndrome

NPS - New Parent Syndrome

DWPA - Dying With Paramedic Assistance

EMT - Empty Minded Troll

EMT - Every Menial Task

EMT - Eggcrate Mattress Technician

EMT - Extraordinary Masochistic Tendencies

EMT - Emergency Medical Taxi

EMT - Extra Man on Truck

EMS - Extra Marital Sex

EMS - Earn Money Sleeping

FDSTW - Found Dead Stayed That Way

FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom

FTD - Fixin To Die

FUBAR - :censored::censored::censored::censored:ed Up Beyond All Recognition 

GOMER - Get out of my E.R.

GMC - Groan Moan & Complain.

GRAHOB - Grim Reaper At Head Of Bed

HIBGIA - Had It Before, Got It Again

KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid

LOLNAD - Little Old Lady No Acute Distress

LOLFDGB - Little Old Lady Fall Down Go Boom

LDF - Lying Down Fit

MARWB - Met At Road With Bag

MUH - Messed Up Heart

NLPR - No Longer Playing Records

PUHA - Pick Up and Haul ***

PBAB - Pine Box At Bedside 

PBS - Pretty Bad Shape

PCL - Pre Code Looking

PEFYC - Pre Extricated For Your Convenience 
(through the windshield)

PSO - Passed Smooth Out

PPA - Practicing Proffessional Alcoholic

TBC - Total Body Crunch

TFTS - Too Fat To Survive

TLC - Tube, Lavage & Charcoal

TMB - Too Many Birthdays

SIO - Sleeping It Off

TSL - To Stupid to Live

WADAO - Weak And Dizzy All Over

WUD - Woke Up Dead

NOTE:

Upon arriving on scene DO NOT use "Holy _hit" to describe 
a patient's condition.


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## Arkymedic (Aug 15, 2007)

RWC130 said:


> ABC's of being an EMT!
> 
> ABC - Ambulate Before Carry
> 
> ...




HA HA HA HA HA HA thank you I needed the laugh.


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## Pablo the Pirate (Aug 15, 2007)

thats all really good but you forgot 
fubar-bundy: F....up beyond all recognition but unfortunately not dead yet.
I heard that a dr. actually used this in his report and got sued.  apperantely the pt was riding a motorcycle.


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## PArescueEMT (Aug 20, 2007)

umm... where is "EMT - Empty Minded Twit"?


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## medic258 (Aug 20, 2007)

ABC-Ambulance Before Cruiser
ALS-Always Lying Supine
AMR-Ahh...My Ride


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## Amack (Oct 18, 2007)

AHF - Acute Hissy Fit


^^ Lmao


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## firecoins (Oct 18, 2007)

Paramedic = most educated ********* in the room


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## Jon (Oct 19, 2007)

firecoins said:


> Paramedic = most educated ********* in the room


not even. I know plenty of dumb medics.


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## firecoins (Oct 19, 2007)

Jon said:


> not even. I know plenty of dumb medics.



I said most educated, not most intelligent.  I know dumb doctors and nurses.


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## wolfwyndd (Oct 19, 2007)

EMS = Eat More Stuff.


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## DisasterMedTech (Oct 20, 2007)

*P*ompous
*A*nd
*R*arely
(of)
*A*ssistance
(but)
*M*y
*E*go
*D*oes
*I*ncredible
*C*rapola

:beerchug:


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## BBFDMedic28 (Oct 21, 2007)

I work at AMR S.A. so i have heard alot of them
AMR- Ambulance Might Respond
AMR- Another Medical Retard
AMR- Another Marrage Ruined
AMR- Another Mexican Responding (thats cause there are lots of them in SA) 
EMT- Earily Morning Transporter





medic258 said:


> ABC-Ambulance Before Cruiser
> ALS-Always Lying Supine
> AMR-Ahh...My Ride


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## PArescueEMT (Oct 23, 2007)

AMR??? there are many of them... see the following:

Another Murderer Responding
Award for Murder Recipient
Another Medicare Rejection
Another Mexican Replacement
All My Retards
Ambulance Might Respond
Another Mediocre Response
Another missed rescue
A-Moral Rejects
Ain't My Responsibility
Another Medicare Run
Amercian Money Response
Another Medicare Run
AMR spelled backwards is RMA
Almost Made a Rescue
About Made a Response
Americas Most Reduclous
American Medical Retards
Assaulted My Rectum
*******s, Morons, and Rejects


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## PArescueEMT (Oct 23, 2007)

Being polite there wolf?


wolfwyndd said:


> EMS = Eat More Stuff.


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## BBFDMedic28 (Oct 23, 2007)

Assaulted My Rectum is funny


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## PArescueEMT (Oct 25, 2007)

i know the website has been put up before, but i must do it again.... 

www.thelunatick.com

this is where i found my list for AMR


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## RogueFirefighter (Dec 3, 2007)

nice! but you forgot:

ALS: Ain't Liftin Sh*T
BLS: Basic Lifting Service
BLS: Bullsh*t Life Support


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## QueenEMT (Dec 11, 2007)

Okay.... I hope this doesn't offend anyone.... (please don't yell at me)...

BUT, since I live in the DC area here, we have one of our own sayings here... (both the poilce and fire use this term) and we joke on CAD about it...

DWA - Driving While Asian


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## BossyCow (Dec 11, 2007)

Actually, I do find that offensive.:sad:


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## skyemt (Dec 11, 2007)

QueenEmt,

why would you post something that you know ahead of time will offend somebody...

everyone can make a mistake, so perhaps you could apologize to anyone you may have offended...


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## QueenEMT (Dec 12, 2007)

skyemt said:


> QueenEmt,
> 
> why would you post something that you know ahead of time will offend somebody...
> 
> everyone can make a mistake, so perhaps you could apologize to anyone you may have offended...





I already said I hoped I didn't... geesh.... just jump on me why don't you.


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## QueenEMT (Dec 12, 2007)

I do apologize to those... but I guess I was hoping for people here with a sense of humor.

Like I said... I live in Washington DC... I guess unless you live here, you wouldn't understand.... Moderators, you can remove my profile... I haven't been here long, but I guess the people I work with are more tolerant than the people of the world... In this job, if you cant make fun of anything, including yourself... you don't belong in it.  I would rather talk to my fellow firefighters and police officers who can handle it anyway...


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## daedalus (Dec 12, 2007)

you have nothing to apologise for QueenEMT. In this day and age, Im not sure how others can find something like Driving While Asian offensive in the face of Comedy Central's Carlos Mencia and similar programs. Im sure that QueenEMT is an extremly tolerant person, as am I, and im sure we all have asian friends who would laugh at that type of joke. Tough skin is important in this lne of work.


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## wolfwyndd (Dec 13, 2007)

> Tough skin is important in this line of work.


You are absolutely, 100 percent correct.  Tough skin is absolutely essential.  Racism and bigotry, however, is not only not important, but not wanted, needed, and in my case, I have little tolerance for.  As a former resident of the DC area, I am appalled that a fellow public safety official (fire, police, or EMS) would find that funny.  I'm sure that my friend in the DC police department wouldn't find it funny either.


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## daedalus (Dec 13, 2007)

whoa there hang on a minute. Im not trying to start an argument, what I am saying is that im sure QueenEMT is a very kind person and is not directing racism or bigotry at anyone. I have dealt with bigotry and intolerance agaisnt me for a very very long time, and usually its mean spirited and hurtful, while *humor* like DWA is not. I encourage you to see other points of view here. I understand that some people may find that offensive, but as I have said, this kind of humor is now acceptable for public TV. 

Peace 
I assure you that I mean well.


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## skyemt (Dec 13, 2007)

daedalus said:


> you have nothing to apologise for QueenEMT. In this day and age, Im not sure how others can find something like Driving While Asian offensive



we here, can only go by what you say... if you want to change your tune, that's cool.


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## firetender (Dec 13, 2007)

"Tough skin is absolutely essential. Racism and bigotry, however, is not only not important, but not wanted, needed, and in my case, I have little tolerance for. "

The only crime here is that something was put into print that is usually just spoken in words. Any one of us who says these kinds of statements or jokes don't go on (and are not laughed at) is not being honest about what we, as humans, do.

Look at the jokes shared on this site. Most are at someone's expense. On one level, including ethnicity (or disability or, or...) in a joke means the listener gets a visual hook to hang the joke on...it gets vivid. No judgment, that's just what happens. The joke has a face.

Putting it into writing, however, does make it a more public and permanent record of one's failings when it comes to being a professional, which in our business means having the confidence of the public -- that means everyone. The writer's credibility as one sworn to heal without prejudice could more readily be called into question.

I, personally don't question the writer's integrity. I prefer to laugh at all of human balderdash!


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## BossyCow (Dec 13, 2007)

QueenEMT said:


> I do apologize to those... but I guess I was hoping for people here with a sense of humor.
> 
> Like I said... I live in Washington DC... I guess unless you live here, you wouldn't understand.... Moderators, you can remove my profile... I haven't been here long, but I guess the people I work with are more tolerant than the people of the world... In this job, if you cant make fun of anything, including yourself... you don't belong in it.  I would rather talk to my fellow firefighters and police officers who can handle it anyway...



I have a sense of humor.  I also am tolerant.  I can't believe that after posting such a blatantly racist comment, you would then attempt to excuse it by saying people where you work are more 'tolerant'.  Tolerance of racism is not a positive attribute.


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## daedalus (Dec 14, 2007)

There are two equally valid points of view here, but its beaten to death. perhaps we should get back to the thread.

ABCs of an anasthesiologist:
Airway, Book, Chair
hehe


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## EMTryan (Dec 14, 2007)

No one has mentioned my favorite yet...

EMT = Early Morning Taxi

for all those 4am non-priority BLS transports:glare:


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## Airwaygoddess (Dec 17, 2007)

Ah and I thought the proper time was 0500! ^_^


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## KillTank (Dec 18, 2007)

firecoins said:


> Paramedic = most educated ********* in the room



I concur


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## RMH4986 (Dec 26, 2007)

*one more for ya*

TUBE- Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam


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## KillTank (Dec 26, 2007)

RMH4986 said:


> TUBE- Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam



haha:lol:   roflskates


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## RMH4986 (Dec 27, 2007)

*a cuple more*

ARTG- Adverse Reaction To Gravity
BFL- Buzzards Flying Low 
FDGB- Fall Down Go Boom


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## medicdan (Dec 27, 2007)

I once heard a great acronym for a fat 40-something shoveling snow who has an MI, and came accross a case like it earlier this week, and the name escaped me. Can anyone help me? It was at-pandemic proportions in New England earlier this week...


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## jordanfstop (Jan 12, 2008)

*M*y
*E*ducation
*D*oesn't
*I*nclude
*C*arrying


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## yay4stress (Jan 14, 2008)

ABC - Airway, Breathing, Can you walk to my truck?


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## yay4stress (Jan 14, 2008)

also,

SOB - Short of Breath (but they don't have to know that's what we mean)
DIB - Dead In Bed
FD - Freaking D******bags (No offense to any firefighters here, but in my area they tend to be less than pleasent)


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## CPG (Jan 22, 2008)

Bloodborne pathogen training in 10 Seconds.....

"If its wet, sticky, and not yours, DON'T TOUCH IT!!!"


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## EMTryan (Jan 23, 2008)

CPG said:


> Bloodborne pathogen training in 10 Seconds.....
> 
> "If its wet, sticky, and not yours, DON'T TOUCH IT!!!"



Another way to remember it is...

"it its icky and or sticky and not yours, DON'T TOUCH IT!!!"


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## ride2k (Jan 25, 2008)

emt-student said:


> I once heard a great acronym for a fat 40-something shoveling snow who has an MI, and came accross a case like it earlier this week, and the name escaped me. Can anyone help me? It was at-pandemic proportions in New England earlier this week...



Gallbladder patient:
4F's - Fat, Forty-ish, Flatulent, Female


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## fma08 (Mar 12, 2008)

*Abd Pain*

50% of abd. pain calls are an FTS

FTS: Fart trapped sideways


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## Arkymedic (Mar 12, 2008)

ride2k said:


> Gallbladder patient:
> 4F's - Fat, Forty-ish, Flatulent, Female


 
there is fertile also. Heard it both ways.


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## RWC130 (Mar 14, 2008)

Glad you guys got a good laugh out of this!


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## rsdemt (Mar 31, 2008)

*Abc"s*

Very, very funny!
Goy anymore?


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## dadotwins (May 30, 2008)

I think FOS should be aloud as a diagnosis!
FOS - full of sh*t


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## BossyCow (May 30, 2008)

ride2k said:


> Gallbladder patient:
> 4F's - Fat, Forty-ish, Flatulent, Female



Hmm I've heard fat, forties, fertile and female


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## emtd29 (Aug 21, 2008)

EMT = Every Menial Task


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## rchristi (Aug 21, 2008)

4U - The Unwilling, led by the Unknowing, doing the Unnecessary, for the Ungrateful.


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## FUBAR (Aug 25, 2008)

LLLLLL - Little Old Lady Lying on Linoleum


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## NJN (Aug 25, 2008)

FUBAR said:


> LLLLLL - Little Old Lady Lying on Linoleum



Wouldn't that be a LOLLOL or LOL ^2 (squared)


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## rchristi (Aug 25, 2008)

rchristi said:


> 4U - The Unwilling, led by the Unknowing, doing the Unnecessary, for the Ungrateful.



With credit going to KEVD18 who uses a similar line to end his posts.


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## MidniteMedic (Sep 1, 2008)

EMS Every Minute Sucks


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## RESQ_5_1 (Sep 2, 2008)

When I worked in LA County, we had one we frequently used:

LHP 2.2 - Larry H. Parker got me 2.2 million dollars.

Larry H. Parker was a local injury lawyer that advertised on t.v. One of his "clients" was a man who would state; "Larry H. Parker got me 2.2 million dollars".

This term is used to describe the pt that is ambulatory on scene with no c/c until the ambulance arrives. Then, they have sudden neck/back pain and proceed to loudly proclaim they are going to sue.


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## valbq2 (Sep 3, 2008)

FLK Syndrome:  Fat Little Kid


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## DenverEMT (Sep 12, 2008)

ULKS: Ugly Little Kid Syndrome


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## BossyCow (Sep 12, 2008)

DenverEMT said:


> ULKS: Ugly Little Kid Syndrome



Do they call 911 for that?


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## KempoEMT (Sep 12, 2008)

*Not often*

I've Heard They do


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## Sasha (Sep 13, 2008)

KempoEMT said:


> I've Heard They do



No, they call 911 when they cant control their kids.
Remember, DO NOT OFFER TO SHOOT THE KID.


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## Scout (Sep 13, 2008)

A- AIRWAY
B- BREATHING
C- CIRCULAION




D- DISABILITY
E- EXPOSE & EXAMINE



F- FUBAR ( F***ed/Fouled up beyond all recognition/repair)
G- GONE


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## Paranini (Sep 21, 2008)

Since its ok to call medics douchebags 

EMT-Empties Medics Trash


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## Paranini (Sep 21, 2008)

QueenEMT said:


> Okay.... I hope this doesn't offend anyone.... (please don't yell at me)...
> 
> BUT, since I live in the DC area here, we have one of our own sayings here... (both the poilce and fire use this term) and we joke on CAD about it...
> 
> DWA - Driving While Asian



I live in Cali and we have the same saying along with HP-hispanic panic.  I don't think its racist or makes someone a bigot when you notice social or ethnic trends.  We have stereotypes for a reason, people fit them.

Sorry, had to get that out.  Back to acronyms!


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## gillysaurus (Sep 21, 2008)

Paranini said:


> Since its ok to call medics douchebags
> 
> EMT-Empties Medics Trash



Another one I heard in Basic class...

EMT-B: Empty My Trash-(female dog)

It's not the same when you can't type out the last word!


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## hatchet (Oct 1, 2008)

Honda = Hypotensive Obese Non-compliant diabetic adult


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## GR1N53N (Jun 26, 2009)

QueenEMT said:


> Okay.... I hope this doesn't offend anyone.... (please don't yell at me)...
> 
> BUT, since I live in the DC area here, we have one of our own sayings here... (both the poilce and fire use this term) and we joke on CAD about it...
> 
> DWA - Driving While Asian





BossyCow said:


> Actually, I do find that offensive.:sad:





skyemt said:


> QueenEmt,
> 
> why would you post something that you know ahead of time will offend somebody...
> 
> everyone can make a mistake, so perhaps you could apologize to anyone you may have offended...





I hope you're all kidding.  Having many asian friends, and witnessing some quality (sarcasm-dripped for extra taste) asian driving, we can all (my [asian] buddies and I) agree that DWA is a chronic condition of any multicultural urban centre.




Oh, and an acronym that was homegrown in my service for our more bull:censored::censored::censored::censored: calls:

BBC - Big Baby Call (I know it's way more PC than a lot of these, but it works for us)


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## JeffT (May 27, 2015)

funny to see PUAHA (PICK UP HAUL ***) on the chart at http://www.lifeguardadventures.com/media/Maps/EMTposter.pdf


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## Jim37F (May 27, 2015)

Of all these necro threads resurrected here,this one is by far the most hilarious....I think I just 'liked' a post from 2008.....


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## RedAirplane (Jun 10, 2015)

More serious. 
Always
Be 
Careful

Helpful. When in doubt
Fall back
And
Re
Think


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## scotchawe (Jun 23, 2015)

hahaha


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## Handsome Robb (Jun 23, 2015)

ABC is ambulate before carry. I don't know where y'all got airway, breathing, circulation from...


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## Generic (Jun 24, 2015)

EMD.....Early Morning Discovery


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## MedicSansBrains (Aug 20, 2015)

skyemt said:


> we here, can only go by what you say... if you want to change your tune, that's cool.


You should quit your job and join the PC police


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