# what is the funniest thing a patient has ever said or done to u?



## emt for life (Jul 7, 2011)

Funniest moments with a patient in the back of the ambulance


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## Anjel (Jul 7, 2011)

Happened to one of the people I was partnered with. 

She was 88 y/o dementia. My partner about 50 something completely full head of white hair. 

She kept grabbing his hand and calling him handsome. He finally had to pull away from her and she yelled 

"You never kiss me like you used too!"

I about DFO laughing


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## Lifeguards For Life (Jul 7, 2011)

When I was on my paramedic clinicals, I saw a lady who said her daughter was giving her a steroid shot in the butt, and the needle snapped off and "got sucked up into my butt muscle".

She was in the ER for some time, and when I went into her room, she asked me if I would like to see the syringe. I said sure, and she pulled an auto injector out inside a zip lock bag.


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## mycrofft (Jul 7, 2011)

*How about on the lawn of the state capital?*

http://www.emtlife.com/showthread.php?t=15785&highlight=Lincoln+Nebraska

My entry on this page.


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## shfd739 (Jul 7, 2011)

Funniest in recent memory was having a patient tell me to search "monkey balls" on YouTube. Funny vid. Search and watch at your own risk, it's NSFW. 


Sent from my electronic overbearing life controller


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## slb862 (Jul 7, 2011)

had an elderly bilateral leg amputee, who was demented, stick her stub legs up in the air, shaking them, all the while yelling "I'm coming, I'm coming"...
:rofl:


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## emt for life (Jul 7, 2011)

Wow some of this stuff is disturbing and hilarious at the same time


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## Anjel (Jul 7, 2011)

emt for life said:


> Wow some of this stuff is disturbing and hilarious at the same time



That statement describes ems perfectly.


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## mike1390 (Jul 7, 2011)

once had an elderly female during the transport im filling out the run sheet and asked what her phone number was she replied " I dont know" I said "you dont know your phone number?" and with out missing a beat she replied "well I dont call myself!!"

It made my day.


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## WolfmanHarris (Jul 7, 2011)

We do very few transfers where I work, but to save money our one ED still relies on us for a lot of return homes, but they have to wait until call volume allows. That means we're often waking our patients at 2 or 3 in the morning to take them home, which in some of our dementia patients means we get them at their worst. 

My partner and I were taking this lady home one night, I'm driving. The patient repeats over and over again, "just drop me off here." finally just gets mad and yells "I have a gun! Let me out now or I'll shoot you!"

My partner doesn't miss a beat, "You have to show it to me first."


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## emt for life (Jul 7, 2011)

WolfmanHarris said:


> We do very few transfers where I work, but to save money our one ED still relies on us for a lot of return homes, but they have to wait until call volume allows. That means we're often waking our patients at 2 or 3 in the morning to take them home, which in some of our dementia patients means we get them at their worst.
> 
> My partner and I were taking this lady home one night, I'm driving. The patient repeats over and over again, "just drop me off here." finally just gets mad and yells "I have a gun! Let me out now or I'll shoot you!"
> 
> My partner doesn't miss a beat, "You have to show it to me first."



So I take it that she didn't have a gun?


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## WolfmanHarris (Jul 7, 2011)

emt for life said:


> So I take it that she didn't have a gun?



Either that or she didn't want to show it off. Nah, she was in a hospital gown.


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## dmc2007 (Jul 7, 2011)

slb862 said:


> had an elderly bilateral leg amputee, who was demented, stick her stub legs up in the air, shaking them, all the while yelling "I'm coming, I'm coming"...
> :rofl:



By any chance did you used to work in the Boston area?


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## Anjel (Jul 8, 2011)

Ok I didn't have time to type this out before. But this was by far the funniest call I have been on.

4th of july. we were called to be a 2nd unit lift assist for the medics. 

ATF 50 y/o lady sitting on her hospital toleit thing. This was at her house. She also had a cell phone ear piece taped and I mean super taped to her ear lol

Her c/c was she couldn't urinate. 

this lady was laughing one minute crying the next. Had multiple personalities or something. Thought she was a baby. It was crazy. Her sister was there. She asked the medics to get her some water and put 10 tsp of sugar in it because her sugar was low. So they did and just as they were going to take her bgl and give it to her, her sister yells no she's lying. It's really high sugar. So none of that. 

Then as we are preparing the stretcher I look over and she had lit up her pipe. And was smoking marijuana in her living room with me her sister my partner and 2 medics. lol So we took that away. 

So she says she is done trying to pee and asks for some ice in a paper towel. we give it to her and she starts rubbing herself "down there" and pleasuring herself. Yea so that was taken away. Finally we stopped trying to please her and just grabbed her put her on the stretcher. She then turned into the baby personality and crying and telling us to stop hitting her. 

It was a hot mess. But fricken hilarious. I think you just had to be there. lol


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## DGreno (Jul 29, 2011)

My partner and I went on an unk medical in the city one afternoon. Turned out two be to ladies in their 50's in a poor section of town. The house had no AC and smelled pretty bad. They were doth pretty intoxicated and one of them was laying in the floor apparently unable to get to her feet. Well, my partner and I got her sitting up and each took an arm. We then lifted her to her feet at which time she took the opportunity to cop a feel on both of us at the same time. I didn't realize she did it on purpose (or to both of us) until my partner made a comment along the lines of staying there awhile.

Another call my partner decided to jump on:
We ran a 49 (crazy person) who was threatening us, her husband, cops and anyone else in the vicinity with a knife. Long story short, I drive us in to the hospital and hear her yelling "Look at them, They're nice aren't they". Mind you, she was restrained and a PD officer was in the back with them. I look in the mirror to see my partner throwing a sheet on her to cover her up. No idea how she managed to get her shirt off. (Didn't really want to know) She continued yelling and telling everyone to look all the way through the ED to the observation area.


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## guttruck (Jul 29, 2011)

a Bariatrics pt. once said to me that it was a ton of fun:rofl:


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## Handsome Robb (Jul 29, 2011)

guttruck said:


> a Bariatrics pt. once said to me that it was a ton of fun:rofl:



Sometimes I wish the forum had a "like" button like facebook does haha


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## guttruck (Jul 29, 2011)

NVRob said:


> Sometimes I wish the forum had a "like" button like facebook does haha



the funny thing is that our county has a "fat man" truck with all the specialty stuff on it lol:rofl:


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## dstevens58 (Jul 29, 2011)

Got called at 2AM for unknown type assistance needed.  Turned out some "bedroom games" got a little out of hand (so to speak) and the couple lost the keys to a set of handcuffs.  Luckily, before my partner jumped in with the bolt cutters, I was able to produce a handcuff key (I was also an auxiliary police officer).


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## EMT1222 (Jul 29, 2011)

mike1390 said:


> once had an elderly female during the transport im filling out the run sheet and asked what her phone number was she replied " I dont know" I said "you dont know your phone number?" and with out missing a beat she replied "well I dont call myself!!"
> 
> It made my day.



That is so great.  Also jealous you are in Thousand Oaks, it's one of my favorite places in California.


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## MrBrown (Jul 29, 2011)

Had one bloke decline transport

Next night he comes to our attention again asking "hey I only didn't go so I could see if I could bang this chick at the bar, it didn't work, so can you take me now?"


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## Dr.NREMT-B (Jul 29, 2011)

An attending ER physician taught me a great question to ask kids to determine if they are processing information appropriately.  If the parents were in the room, she always asked the patient who was in the room with him/her and the child would say, “Mom and dad.”  Then she would ask, “How do you know?” and the kid would freeze deep in thought.  So, I use this from time to time with patients.  Well, I got a great answer from a 7 year old!  He said, without a moment of hesitation, “Because I saw the tape!!!”  The parents agreed that he had indeed seen the tape.  Needless to say, I was the one who was frozen in thought/terror.


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## Leafmealone (Aug 1, 2011)

Had a drunk at 2 in the morning stating he was diabetic and off his meds. So when we show up ALS and police are already there. He was making a scene with the police so I walked him into the ambulance with the ALS techs and I. The cops were in no mood to do MHA paperwork, and he had no need to go to the hospital other than he was drunk, so after much questioning he still didnt state he wanted to go to the hospital. Everyone else took turns trying to get him to say the magic words.
 Then it was my turn. I looked at him and said "Ok, Why are we here? Why did you dial 911, and why are you in the back of this ambulance." to which he responded, and I swear to god, "I either wanted a cheeseburger, or I wanted to die."

It took me a second but I kept a strait face and said "Sorry sir, we dont have any cheeseburgers in the ambulance, and I'm not allowed to kill you. Which hospital do you want to go to?" "General" "Ok, lets go"

The cops and ALS techs were glad I could take him off their hands.

Thought I would start my time at EMTLIFE with a funny story. Hope you liked it.


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## traumaluv2011 (Aug 14, 2011)

*Patient with severe head trauma*

Alright, so the patient fell at her friend's house 3 weeks before we were called. For three weeks she dealt with bleeding from her ears, occasional vomiting, and oversleeping. How so? She was an alcoholic who just quit her job because she didn't want to move. The kicker is, her mother called 911 and the patient refused to go to the hospital. She told us she was drinking and pupils confirmed that. So we knew we had to transport her under implied consent. The cops talked to her for about 10 minutes trying to convince her to go without a fight. Her reasoning for not going was she didn't have a job and didn't have health insurance. 

I don't know how far she fell, but that sounds like a serious head injury to me.


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## johnrsemt (Aug 15, 2011)

Had a drunk, when given the choice of going to jail or to the hospital with us; look at my partner and state  "He has driven me to the hospital before, I want to go to jail instead".    ROFLMAO    never let my partner forget that one.


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## Hunter (Aug 15, 2011)

Dr.NREMT-B said:


> An attending ER physician taught me a great question to ask kids to determine if they are processing information appropriately. If the parents were in the room, she always asked the patient who was in the room with him/her and the child would say, “Mom and dad.” Then she would ask, “How do you know?” and the kid would freeze deep in thought. So, I use this from time to time with patients. Well, I got a great answer from a 7 year old! He said, without a moment of hesitation, “Because I saw the tape!!!” The parents agreed that he had indeed seen the tape. Needless to say, I was the one who was frozen in thought/terror.



:rofl::rofl::rofl:



johnrsemt said:


> Had a drunk, when given the choice of going to jail or to the hospital with us; look at my partner and state  "He has driven me to the hospital before, I want to go to jail instead".    ROFLMAO    never let my partner forget that one.



:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## McGoo (Aug 15, 2011)

Two stand out:

1) From the Consulting physician at a major ED to a junior doctor: " I dont care how fat a patient is, when doing a lumbar puncture, you cant tell them "This wouldnt be so hard if you werent so fat." And you definitely cant tell them that twice in the one session."

2) A female patient when asked if she might be pregnant: "Ummm, I dont think so." 
Paramedic: "Well, have you had sex in the last six months?"
Patient: "not to my knowledge."


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## nelschang (Aug 19, 2011)

*selfish*

-On a scale of 1 - 10 with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest describe the pain.

~IT'S A 10!

-You ever had a baby before?

~YES! oh its a 2...

(it was a sprained figure....)


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## sirengirl (Aug 19, 2011)

nelschang said:


> -On a scale of 1 - 10 with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest describe the pain.
> 
> ~IT'S A 10!
> 
> ...



I always love asking women with kids that.....


My favorite thusfar was the old man I brought in for one small reason or another. Standing in the ED with the RN doing my report, she's looking up his history in the system and says,

"I see you got shot?"
He nods, "Oh yeah, long time ago."
"Where at?"
"My stomach." (he proceeds to show us an impressive scar on his abdomen)
"Wow," she says, "What did you do to get that?" (likely thinking he's a WW2 vet)
He shrugs, "Oh, it's just one of those things that happen when you live in New York."

(I fell out of the room laughing.)


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## johnrsemt (Aug 19, 2011)

When I was doing wheel chair transport van;  I went to the VA hospital to pick up patient;  was told at clinic that patient was out on the curb.  went out to the curb, and asked for Mr SO SO.   He raised his hand,  I loaded him up, secured him; and off we went. 
   When we got to the ECF, he stated "I don't live here"  when I questioned him I found out that it wasn't the correct person;  he just thought my van looked better than the one that took him to the VA.   checked he lived on my wayback to VA;  took him home,  I did new paperwork.   Called it in,  and went and got the right person.  He had been in smoking station so he didn't hear me ask for him.


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## Hunter (Aug 19, 2011)

Man Complaining of severe headache

Me: On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain you've ever had how bad is the pain?

Pt: 11!!!

After "0.9% Sodium Chloride solution"

Me: How's your pain now?

Pt: Omg you're amazing its barely 3!


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## phideux (Aug 24, 2011)

Hunter said:


> Man Complaining of severe headache
> 
> Me: On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain you've ever had how bad is the pain?
> 
> ...




Those Nor Malsaline flushes are the best drug ever invented. I've used them quite a few times with great results.

We had a 72yo guy tonight, AMS, fell while walking home from his car that ran out of gas, he actually made it over 2 miles when he fell. Multiple skin tears and abrasions. My partner asked him if he got knocked unconscious when he fell. His comeback, "I'm not consciously aware of being unconscious". 
:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Flightorbust (Aug 24, 2011)

I work at a strip club and one of my dancers is a bit of a drug chaser (suprize I know) but I told her that I liked to give pats. like he some Hydroginized Sodium Chloride. her response was "OMG That stuff is AWESOME".....Yep gotta love that salt water lol


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## JD9940 (Aug 24, 2011)

While transporting a BiLat Leg Amputee on an IFT call the patient kept yelling at me to "go get her shoes".  She had both legs amputated four years prior to pick-up.
When I asked how she got to the hospital we were transporting her from, she said she walked the 5 miles from her conv home to the hospital.


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## PFD2171 (Aug 24, 2011)

*Dementia*

A few funny memories:
1- Elderly dementia patient being returned to a care facility who kept pulling the sheet up over her head to "hide from you, because you are kidnapping me and this way you can't find me".
2- Asking the patient all his complaints and of course he has every one I mention including a "sever case of halitosis and my teeth hurt when I pee".


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## dstevens58 (Aug 24, 2011)

Transporting a 40-something year old mentally retarded individual from a care facility to a hospital for mental status changes.  After a full 20 minutes or so of her providing little to no information, she suddenly lifts up her head, looks at the paramedic, and loudly proclaimed, "Your cute!"  Hardly anything out of her for the remainder of the trip, except how cute he was on a couple of occasions.


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## tiffany9902 (Aug 25, 2011)

On a ride along i had a 80 some patient with full on white hair more hair then me :wacko: he wanted to hold my hand and pretend we were on a date cause its been over 40 years since he held a women's hand... so we held hands he was the sweeties man ever...  


Another lady told my EMT i was riding with that his face looked like her throw up that morning... good thing the ride was only down the street and she didnt have a chance to pick on me


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## McGoo (Aug 25, 2011)

Transported an elderly lady in her nineties with dementia to ED. Her daughter was complaining about her moms boyfriend in the nursing home, apparently a bit of a controller. Triage nurse, without looking at the pt, asked if the pt was pregnant when I said abdominal pain. We all giggled, the pt said "what's so funny?" When I told her, she replied "not through lack of trying."


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## jediwill (Sep 1, 2011)

Me getting a history from a patient with a history of manic depression:Ma'am are you allergic to any medication? Her: Yeah.....sulfa drugs......oh and psych meds! Me:Interesting......


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## MrBrown (Sep 1, 2011)

We gave some poor unfortunate bloke with nasty first and second degree burns to his face from drinking flaming shots at his batchelor party some ketamine.

Minute later, asked what his name was ... he slurred out "BANANA!" 

SO, ketamine is now affectionately called banana juice


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## Darksky (Oct 3, 2011)

a DT'ing alcoholic:
         "Dude, I can't f**king believe I drank perfume".
Me: 
         "I can't f**king believe you drank perfume either". 

But he had. A 100ml bottle of Giorgio. Poor SOB, his breath was wonderful...

I have seen them drink dollar store mouthwash dozens of times, but real parfum/EDT was a new one on me.


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## IRIDEZX6R (Oct 4, 2011)

Patient begging for narc: Give me something for this. Ow.
Me: Sir, they can do that once we get to the hospital.
Patient: Its your F*&$ing job! Do it!
Me: Just lay back and enjoy the ride sir, if you have any questions I'll be right behind you filling out some paper work.
Patient: YOU DISGUST ME!!!
Me: .....Prove it.

*silence all the way to the ER*


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## FFEMT427 (Oct 4, 2011)

Leafmealone said:


> Had a drunk at 2 in the morning stating he was diabetic and off his meds. So when we show up ALS and police are already there. He was making a scene with the police so I walked him into the ambulance with the ALS techs and I. The cops were in no mood to do MHA paperwork, and he had no need to go to the hospital other than he was drunk, so after much questioning he still didnt state he wanted to go to the hospital. Everyone else took turns trying to get him to say the magic words.
> Then it was my turn. I looked at him and said "Ok, Why are we here? Why did you dial 911, and why are you in the back of this ambulance." to which he responded, and I swear to god, "I either wanted a cheeseburger, or I wanted to die."
> 
> It took me a second but I kept a strait face and said "Sorry sir, we dont have any cheeseburgers in the ambulance, and I'm not allowed to kill you. Which hospital do you want to go to?" "General" "Ok, lets go"
> ...



This story makes me very happy lol. I had a "possiby" intoxicated male tell me "I want me some WEED!!" to which I replied "I can't give that to you" he countered my arguement with "I want me some women then" of course the answer from me was "I can't give you any of that either" lol


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## emt for life (Oct 6, 2011)

I hope you all liked this thread because I sure did and tell other people to look at it and write down their funniest moments because these are right down hilarious.


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## TatorTots (Oct 20, 2011)

Oh wow!! Soo funny!! I cant wait til I have fun EMS stories to tell.. Although i do have a LOT from my dementia pts while I was a CNA. I'll have to post them sometime. No time now!  But thanks all for the laughs!


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## JBFab (Oct 20, 2011)

2 other first responders and I were at a FDGB for an elderly lady at her home.  She's become somewhat of a frequent flier for us.  Anyway the bus comes and starts discussing how we are going to re-arrange furniture to move her, and she says "oh my, I've never been surrounded by so many handsome young men before" :rofl: she was looking at my co-service director when she said it - who happens to be quite a jokester.  His response: "Awww shucks"!  Everyone burst into laughter.  We went back to the station and since I was first on I had to do the paperwork.  While I was reading the form aloud I came to the mental status area and said "altered, definitely altered mental status".


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## canadianparamedic (Nov 19, 2011)

Im happy most of the new Paramedics at my station have to deal with the drunks.


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## Vivian (Nov 24, 2011)

My funniest moment was exactly 1 day after my card came in the mail. It was about 11 PM and we were called to a rundown trailer park on the edge of town (This is how you know the call is going to be good). I arrive on scene in my personal car a little bit after the ambulance. Its a pregnancy call. The woman waddles out on her own and waves us off saying "I've done this before". She climbs up into the rig and lays down on the cot, refusing our assistance. 2 of her other kids with us, both barely walking age. It turns out the child on the way was her 5th. The back is crowded.

We have a retired medic with us, and a girl who had just failled EMT-B for her 4th go through a while back (I was happy she was there, she worked wonders calming the kids down), then you have 2 kids, a pregnant woman. The only two EMT's there (you know the ones "allowed" on a call) are myself and a good friend of mine who steps up and takes lead. 

He's doing his assessment as we are not having any difficulties. He askes her: 

"Will the father be meeting you at the hospital?"
"I hope so, that would be nice."
"Do you have any idea where he is or how we can reach him?"
"Oh no... my husband is probably out with his girlfriend."

Something in the way she said it was so calm... It made everyone of us laugh.

Wasn't until hours later when I reflected on it that I realized we all laughed at this woman's husband's affair.  My only justification is "Hey, she laughed too".


Funnier story:
Another patient in the same neighborhood called us, I arrived on scene 10 minutes ahead of the ambulance. The husband (who is clearly strung out on something, my guess is pot) ushers me towards his wife. I gave up trying to communicate with him. I ask her "What seems to be the roblem today ma'am?"

No lie: "My vagina is falling out!"

Me: <blank stare>

her: "Do you want to take a look?"

Me: *without missing a beat* "No, thanks"

Husband decided to describe in great, horrifying detail a bulge "down there" the size of his fist.


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## saskgirl (Dec 9, 2011)

My partner who is fairly new and I are doing an IFT. 84 y/o lady going for further treatment of dislocated shoulder. RN had just given her pain control by supp just before we went to load her onto our stretcher. She grabs my partner's butt and squeezes, looks up and him and goes "well if I had know how good lookin' you are I'd have let you give me my supp" and gives him a big wink. 
The whole trip she kept trying to feel him up and I just drove and laughed!


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## traumaluv2011 (Dec 9, 2011)

saskgirl said:


> My partner who is fairly new and I are doing an IFT. 84 y/o lady going for further treatment of dislocated shoulder. RN had just given her pain control by supp just before we went to load her onto our stretcher. She grabs my partner's butt and squeezes, looks up and him and goes "well if I had know how good lookin' you are I'd have let you give me my supp" and gives him a big wink.
> The whole trip she kept trying to feel him up and I just drove and laughed!



Lol, I've been hit on a few times by old ladies. It's a fun trip


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## 74restore (Dec 9, 2011)

This happened to me as a ride along:

Let me just say first, that I live in Iowa City (University of Iowa is the number 4 party school in the country, and we show it.)

This happened on Halloween weekend so plenty of...interesting costumes.

So needless to say we picked up countless drunks. Finally, on drunk pt. call number 4 in that hour, the officer told me to ask the student what his major is, to which he replied: Im a criminal justice major! please dont take me to jail! I wanna be a cop! I assured him i wasnt a cop and wasnt taking him to jail.

The irony: every kid we picked up that night seemed to be the same major. 
The bigger irony: University of Iowa doesn't offer that major at all

Oh and we also picked up a girl that threw her dress off and jumped on the paramedic naked because she thought he was cute... I couldnt stop laughing. She was drunk (obviously). 

And this was just as an observer


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## traumaluv2011 (Dec 10, 2011)

74restore said:


> Oh and we also picked up a girl that threw her dress off and jumped on the paramedic naked because she thought he was cute... I couldnt stop laughing. She was drunk (obviously).
> 
> And this was just as an observer



That sounds like my kind of call. I don't have any colleges nearby, but I've done a few drunks. Most of them were female...


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## Handsome Robb (Dec 10, 2011)

Drunks are only entertaining for so long, then they get annoying.

Grandma with a suspected dislocated hip:

Pt to my partner: "I'm going to hit you if it hurts when you move me. You said the meds you gave me would keep it from hurting."
Partner: "If it hurts you can hit him (me), he's the new guy"
Pt: looks at me then back at my partner: "No, I'm going to hit you. He's better looking, I wouldn't want to mess up his pretty face. Plus he didn't lie to me..."

Ladies eat your hearts out


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## STXmedic (Dec 10, 2011)

NVRob said:


> Drunks are only entertaining for so long, then they get annoying.



Amen. Especially at 3am*

*Exception to this is if they are hot**

**99% of the time, they are not.


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## Handsome Robb (Dec 10, 2011)

PoeticInjustice said:


> Amen. Especially at 3am*
> 
> *Exception to this is if they are hot**
> 
> **99% of the time, they are not.



Quoted for truth.

Tonight is the Santa Pub Crawl here. Supposedly they are expecting 10,000+ patrons. I start my shift at 0400, I'm sure I will have a decent shot at encountering some fairly intoxicated females at work tomorrow. As long as they don't puke on me or my partner I'm happy.


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## Nervegas (Dec 11, 2011)

Had an IFT patient who spent the entire call trying to hit on me and my partner, she kept calling us "Babe" or "Baby" and asked for my phone number when I was working on the chart. 

Then we had a pt the other day who slapped my partner and stole his pen...


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## we talking bout practice (Dec 11, 2011)

*Relieved pain*

Possible drug seeker, with a mysterious wondering pain (isnt it alway). Says he needs the good stuff, I say I got your good stuff and he will feel this right away. SOOOOO I push a 10 ml preload and he relaxes and eyes roll back and lets out a long mmmmmmmm. "Thats the ticket". Well I say to him dont tell anyone but ill give you another hit, and i upped his dossage to a wopping 20 mls of saline. Made his day and said over radio 10/10 paint relieved entirly by 20 mls of n.s.


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## Spedz (Dec 25, 2011)

When I was driving a wheelchair van...I had brought one of the regulars home from the doctor and she asked me if I minded getting her mail out of her box for her as she had trouble getting her chair over to the boxes and reaching down and using the key and such so I said sure NP bent over to get her mail and she pinched my ***.....:rofl:


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## Spedz (Dec 25, 2011)

johnrsemt said:


> Had a drunk, when given the choice of going to jail or to the hospital with us; look at my partner and state  "He has driven me to the hospital before, I want to go to jail instead".    ROFLMAO    never let my partner forget that one.





All I can say is WOW:rofl:


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## Cup of Joe (Dec 25, 2011)

Had a patient hold my hand and tell me what a great thing I was doing getting involved in EMS at such a young age.

Might help to know that I barely look old enough to drive and I've had people question me about the legitimacy of my driver's license when I buy tobacco or lottery tickets.


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## lil'red (Jan 30, 2012)

Got called out at 2am, two days before Christmas for a sprained ankle.  (I PROMISE!!!)  She was at a Christmas party and was making her grand entrance......her chief complaint was, and I quote, "I was getting my dance on and I fell off my shoe!!!" :wacko: :rofl:  Needless to say, we did NOT transport!!


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## Maine iac (Jan 30, 2012)

I woke up a middle aged women from a narc OD. Super talkative in the back of the ambulance KEPT asking what happened, and KEPT saying she needed the bathroom... then she kept asking me to cath her.

As for funniest call dispatched on, pt called because he stubbed his little toe on a curb and "it really hurt".


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## Amberlamps916 (Feb 6, 2012)

Me: Mamn, do you have any allergies?

Patient: Yeah, the world.

Me: Do you take any medications for this?

Patient: Xanax and Olde English Malt Liquor


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## dortS (Feb 17, 2012)

It was a 75 year woman, my best friends grandmother actually, she was coming in and out of consciousness and she just smiled from ear to ear then said - umm "A street car named desire" - I should have starred in that movie...but I still love that movie.


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## Handsome Robb (Feb 17, 2012)

lil'red said:


> Got called out at 2am, two days before Christmas for a sprained ankle.  (I PROMISE!!!)  She was at a Christmas party and was making her grand entrance......her chief complaint was, and I quote, "I was getting my dance on and I fell off my shoe!!!" :wacko: :rofl:  Needless to say, we did NOT transport!!



That is funny, but my ex girlfriend from high school fractured her ankle dancing in high heels. Great way to ruin the "Winter Wonderland" dance.


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## Tigger (Feb 17, 2012)

Addrobo87 said:


> Me: Mamn, do you have any allergies?
> 
> Patient: Yeah, the world.
> 
> ...



That's my kind of combination right there.


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