# If you could have anything you want on your ambulance



## johnrsemt (Feb 6, 2008)

My partner and I were talking last night about what our truck needs:

     I  have always wanted a large, spring loaded baseball bat on the roof:  won't help today, but next time they hear a siren they will remember to move.

   My partner wants a large spatula on the front, to slowly flip the cars out of the way.


  anyone else have any idea?


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## Arkymedic (Feb 6, 2008)

johnrsemt said:


> My partner and I were talking last night about what our truck needs:
> 
> I have always wanted a large, spring loaded baseball bat on the roof: won't help today, but next time they hear a siren they will remember to move.
> 
> ...


 
A large cattleguard for the front and a sign that says get your *** out of the way that flashes where ambulance is wrote, CPAPs, IV pump, vents for every truck, could go on for a bit.


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## RavenMaster (Feb 6, 2008)

I could think of a few things but a snowplow Shank (the front part of a snowplow, the bigass guard) would do nicely i think.


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## KEVD18 (Feb 6, 2008)

turret mounted machine guns work better than sirens


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## JPINFV (Feb 6, 2008)

A teleporter or turbines like the Moller Skycar would be nice


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## medic417 (Feb 6, 2008)

Spring loaded front bumber that shoots non movers right out the way.

No patients would be great to.


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## RavenMaster (Feb 6, 2008)

Sidewinder missles...welll while we are at it how about PHOENIX Missles.


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## Onceamedic (Feb 7, 2008)

Slip proof tires..  so that when we are doing an emergent transfer over winter roads we wouldn't have in the back of our minds the constant fear that we are going to lose it and go into the ditch..


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## hitechredneckemt (Feb 7, 2008)

Every thing mentioned above works for me.


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## Topher38 (Feb 8, 2008)

A cloning machine that clones Monstermedics and deploys them to the calls im sapposed to be on woot woot


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## firecoins (Feb 8, 2008)

A naked beatiful woman who isn't sick or injured. Oh wait! that was suppossed to be private!  Bad me! bad me!


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## RavenMaster (Feb 9, 2008)

The ability for the ambulance to tranform into an autobot! .....too much?


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## Airwaygoddess (Feb 9, 2008)

Hmmm..... where to start, never ending supply of GOOD coffee (and not Starbucks, yuk!) instant shower for those not too wonderful transports, ( oh lord she threw up AGAIN!) And last but not least home made, hot open face turkey sandwiches with mashed potatos and gravy (comfort food at 0300!) ^_^


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## BBFDMedic28 (Feb 12, 2008)

Kegerator mounted in the back with insulated lines running from keg to front. This would reduce stress.


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## NJN (Feb 12, 2008)

Turn the capt.'s chair into a lazyboy and put a pull down screen that covers the rear hatch, with a projector in the front and surround sound and a nice big sub woof. Just for standbys and all that fun stuff. And a soda fountain, because the keg of beer, i have found, has a slight effect of impairing your reaction time, your interpretation of whats in front of you, and your ability to keep your mouth shut when you should.


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## katgrl2003 (Feb 12, 2008)

Ok, I changed my mind.  I still want the spatula on the truck, but I want the baseball bat to be removable so I can use it against management and their attitudes!

-Kat


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## Grady_emt (Feb 13, 2008)

A real Siren

Behold the power of the Q...


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## rescuepoppy (Feb 13, 2008)

*Anything YouWant On Your Ambulance*

I want Airway Goddess as a partner if that is her idea of comfort food we could get along really well.  After that I would say put the rig on a monster truck frame 'cause sometimes flashers and woo-woos just aint enough.


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## bigbadyjs (Feb 13, 2008)

Patients who only tell me the truth.


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## Airwaygoddess (Feb 15, 2008)

rescuepoppy said:


> I want Airway Goddess as a partner if that is her idea of comfort food we could get along really well.  After that I would say put the rig on a monster truck frame 'cause sometimes flashers and woo-woos just aint enough.



Thank you Rescuepoppy!  To add to that ambulance, I would need to hear the theme song from"EMERGENCY!" while going code 3!


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## Webster (Feb 19, 2008)

You know the "Rhino" tanks from WWII?  Maybe a rhino ambulance would convenience people to actually get out of the way.


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## JPINFV (Feb 19, 2008)

A force field to keep the fire fighters out. If the patient isn't on fire, then there's no need for fire fighters and if the patient IS on fire, they shouldn't be in the ambulance yet anyways.


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## TgerFoxMark (Mar 17, 2008)

Never to hear "Only a couple of beers" again.


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## daemonicusxx (Mar 18, 2008)

I just asked my partner, he says t-top's and spinners. 

i dont know that i would want anything on my ambulance. i think it would be more convienent if there were MORE units on shift, so i didnt have to run as many calls.


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## teammedic (Mar 18, 2008)

Great idea now just to get AEV HUTTON AND LENARD to give it to us.


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## Airway Junkie (Mar 18, 2008)

DVD player in back and front. Computer with full internet access. Soda Fountain. A fridge with assorted sandwiches. Several cupholders throughout the vehicle. Bulit in GPS


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## JPINFV (Mar 18, 2008)

daemonicusxx said:


> I just asked my partner, he says t-top's and spinners.



That reminds me. I'd always thought that undercarriage lights for when driving code-3 at night would be moderately cool.


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## TgerFoxMark (Mar 18, 2008)

JPINFV said:


> That reminds me. I'd always thought that undercarriage lights for when driving code-3 at night would be moderately cool.



Pimp My Ambulance!


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## keith10247 (May 6, 2008)

Cup holders for me please!  I hate one of our ambulance it was ordered without a cup holder!  I am sure my partner hates being my cup holder on the way back from subway.  

Apparently they have tried getting the ones that clip on the inside of the door by the window but it was inevitable that someone would slam the door and send soda flying across to the other side.  :sad:


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## BossyCow (May 6, 2008)

Some of those big old tires they have on the monster trucks... I wouldn't care if someone got out of the way, just go over the top of them!


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## Jon (May 6, 2008)

How about a mini CT scanner? We could clear C-spine and head injuries in the field!


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## emt 92591 (May 7, 2008)

KEVD18 said:


> turret mounted machine guns work better than sirens



I Agree With That Idea And Maybe A Microwave? Just An Idea!!


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## firecoins (May 7, 2008)

cup holders
plugs for IPODs and other electronics
cup holders
a copy of the latest protocols
cup holders
a working stretcher
cup holders
extra blankets
cup holders


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## JPINFV (May 7, 2008)

Cup holders are simple. The duck tape rolls used for backboarding are generally about the size of your standard cup holder. They work especially well if you have an ambulance (ex. Wheeled Coach brand) with an open box between the two front seats.


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## CrazyCanuck (May 8, 2008)

How 'bout a case of self-adhesive stickers that say "STUPID" for those wonderful pts. that really wouldn't need us if they used their heads!!


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## JPINFV (May 8, 2008)

CrazyCanuck said:


> How 'bout a case of self-adhesive stickers that say "STUPID" for those wonderful pts. that really wouldn't need us if they used their heads!!








Agrees.


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## FireNinja (May 13, 2008)

Airway Junkie said:


> DVD player in back and front. Computer with full internet access. Soda Fountain. A fridge with assorted sandwiches. Several cupholders throughout the vehicle. Bulit in GPS





I find that the mounted suction container in the rear of our Frazier ambulance doubles nicely as a cup holder. (discliamer: make sure to disinfect and clean thoughly first.)


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## firemedic7982 (May 13, 2008)

an EASY button


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## EMTrigger (May 13, 2008)

Def. A Wii. Fold out grill. Ice cream vending machine.


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## gradygirl (May 13, 2008)

ok, so not _gear_ for the truck, but i'd definitely bring along my sexy instructor as my partner. mmmm, he's scrumptious!


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## keith10247 (May 14, 2008)

FireNinja said:


> I find that the mounted suction container in the rear of our Frazier ambulance doubles nicely as a cup holder. (discliamer: make sure to disinfect and clean thoughly first.)



I guess it does have a couple holes for a straw!  
Reminds me of an episode of scrubs...Some people see a bed pan and think soup bowl...
:beerchug:


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## FireNinja (May 14, 2008)

soup bowls.... That's a great idea.. haha


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## keith10247 (May 14, 2008)

firecoins said:


> cup holders
> plugs for IPODs and other electronics
> cup holders
> a copy of the latest protocols
> ...



firecoins, judging by your response, I am sensing you also have a cup holder issue!   Have you tried the window mounted ones?  If you do, make sure your partner is not in the passenger seat when you slam the door!  And if they are, I hope that it is at the end of your shift!


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## FireNinja (May 14, 2008)

or at least a newbie!!


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## mikeylikesit (May 27, 2008)

Topher38 said:


> A cloning machine that clones Monstermedics and deploys them to the calls im sapposed to be on woot woot


 i will have the same please. but i will also take a full service kitchen and a bed...king size please.


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## mattulance (May 29, 2008)

M bottles with O2 are boring ,a keg the size of a M bottle would be better and taps with ohio fittings :beer at 15 lpm, seriously microwaves would be nice, and back up cameras.


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## FireNinja (May 29, 2008)

I would kill for a back up camera, also when the nube drops the PT. we can sit back and watch it again and again.


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## Meursault (May 29, 2008)

One of those small forklifts I always see on the back of lumber trucks.

Or one of those exoskeletons the Army's working on so I don't feel quite as effeminate letting a machine do all the lifting.


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## Arkymedic (May 30, 2008)

JPINFV said:


> A force field to keep the fire fighters out. If the patient isn't on fire, then there's no need for fire fighters and if the patient IS on fire, they shouldn't be in the ambulance yet anyways.


 
LMFAO thats pretty funny JPINFV.


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## KEVD18 (May 30, 2008)

ambulance dont(usually) come stock with cup holders for the simple reason that your not supposed to be consuming food in an ambulance.

now, of course we all do it. but that doesnt make it right.

ive come up with a few solutions. at one company i worked for, i just installed cup holders in all the trucks. for a buck and a half a piece(which i collected from the crews of those trucks) it was a simple fix.

if thats not possible, i have another solution. my "duty" bag is a smallish backpack commonly used for hiking. on either side are water bottle holders. mine will hold a large dunkin donuts cup. it has a loop at the top for carrying the bag. if one were to take that loop, place it around the "female" end of the seatbelt and snug the bag right up against the seat. havent had it tip over yet.


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## mikeylikesit (May 30, 2008)

KEVD18 said:


> ambulance dont(usually) come stock with cup holders for the simple reason that your not supposed to be consuming food in an ambulance.
> 
> now, of course we all do it. but that doesnt make it right.
> 
> ...



good idea!


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## KEVD18 (May 30, 2008)

mikeylikesit said:


> good idea!



for the love of all that is good and holy, can you shrink that sig line. its obnoxious. thanks.


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## KEVD18 (May 30, 2008)

mines a little smaller, but this is basically what i was talking about:


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## seshan (Jun 1, 2008)

to be honest- any of the medical equiptment i have so i can make some coin.

ask for my products!


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## KEVD18 (Jun 1, 2008)

seshan said:


> to be honest- any of the medical equiptment i have so i can make some coin.
> 
> ask for my products!



huh???????


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## Grady_emt (Jun 2, 2008)

A working MDT/KDT/AVL/whatever you want to call it


and only legit patients


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## LIFESAVER4U (Jun 3, 2008)

I would love an automatic ejection seat for stupid people.


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## Contadinella (Jun 21, 2008)

Ah blowtube or blastpipe to sedate patients, relatives and annoying people without getting near them. Ups din´t you see this HUGE wasp coming? Seems you are allergic and you fainted. Lucky we were there.

Conta


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## DBieniek (Jun 21, 2008)

I would want to never have a need to use a band-aid. :glare:

As far as what to ADD: I'd say a scoop stretcher would be nice! Either that or "insta-medic" - medic in a can!


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## daedalus (Jun 21, 2008)

In the "action area" of the patent compartment (my agency uses "Leader" ambulances, and thus the small work space on the right side of the jump seat where the suction usually is, is termed the action area) you can make a simple cup holder with looped medical tape. Place your drink on the surface and loop some tape that has been double sided so the adhesive sides are stuck to eachother, around your cup. Presto!


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## Jeremy89 (Jun 21, 2008)

DBieniek said:


> As far as what to ADD: I'd say a scoop stretcher would be nice! Either that or "insta-medic" - medic in a can!



Is that like the AutoPilot on "Airplane"?  lol


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## KEVD18 (Jun 21, 2008)

DBieniek said:


> I would want to never have a need to use a band-aid. :glare:
> 
> As far as what to ADD: I'd say a scoop stretcher would be nice! Either that or "insta-medic" - medic in a can!



it never ceases to amaze me the vast differences in both required equipment and skills variation from area to area and service to service. 

i have never worked on an ambulance without a scoop. its required equipment here.


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## mikeylikesit (Jun 30, 2008)

I just thought of something...a gag and a restraint system for the patients family and friends.


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## BossyCow (Jun 30, 2008)

mikeylikesit said:


> I just thought of something...a gag and a restraint system for the patients family and friends.



For family members.. you don't need to gag them if you have a roof rack.


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## himynameismj (Jul 8, 2008)

my own personal jesus.


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## Jon (Jul 8, 2008)

himynameismj said:


> my own personal jesus.



Someone to hear your prayers... someone who cares?

With apologies to Depeche Mode and Johnny Cash, of course!


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## himynameismj (Jul 8, 2008)

no.. its from scrubs. dude who can save anyones life.


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## daedalus (Jul 8, 2008)

Jon said:


> Someone to hear your prayers... someone who cares?
> 
> With apologies to Depeche Mode and Johnny Cash, of course!



God I was thinking the same thing. The good old days....depeche mode rocks.


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## Oregon (Aug 26, 2008)

My apartment complex newsletter has a section titled "Bumper Sticker Snicker"  And this month's is "Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."
I think that should go right next to the star of life on every rig.


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## Sasha (Aug 26, 2008)

A smoothie bar. Who doesnt want a smoothie bar? Might chill some patients out, too.


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## KEVD18 (Aug 27, 2008)

a guinness tap would also be great...


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## Jon (Aug 27, 2008)

kev, we aren't in Ireland.
 on that note... my medic class has an Irish guy in it.


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## KEVD18 (Aug 27, 2008)

true. god to i wish we we're........

regardless of location, having a guinness keg onboard would certainly make my shifts more interesting.....


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## lightsandsirens5 (Aug 29, 2008)

JPINFV said:


> A force field to keep the fire fighters out. If the patient isn't on fire, then there's no need for fire fighters and if the patient IS on fire, they shouldn't be in the ambulance yet anyways.





Ha ha ha! ROFL

Ooops..... HEY!!! JUST A MINUTE! I'M A FIREFIGHTER!

THAT AIN'T FUNNY!!!!!

Oh well....if you dont like big dumb fat 'n happy firefighters, dont call us at 0300 for a lift assist.

Just kidding!!


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## EvanAndChan (Aug 30, 2008)

Jessica Alba.


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## EMT-G36C (Sep 3, 2008)

EvanAndChan said:


> Jessica Alba.


required equipment around here man ::wishful thinking::


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## mikie (Sep 3, 2008)

Something, perhaps stemming from the cot, making it easier to do 12 lead/EKG monitoring as opposed to wires going everywhere, making a big mess.


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## marineman (Sep 3, 2008)

Jon said:


> How about a mini CT scanner? We could clear C-spine and head injuries in the field!



The service that I hope to be working for after I graduate medic in may actually has protocols that they can clear C-spine in the field. I have no idea what they are or how lengthy they are but they do exist. 


as for what to add, how about a smoking section for those 3am 4hour transports.


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## TgerFoxMark (Sep 21, 2008)

How about a valium fountain that folds out the side of the rig for those EVER so annoying state fair standby's


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## TransportJockey (Sep 21, 2008)

marineman said:


> The service that I hope to be working for after I graduate medic in may actually has protocols that they can clear C-spine in the field. I have no idea what they are or how lengthy they are but they do exist.
> 
> 
> as for what to add, how about a smoking section for those 3am 4hour transports.



Here in NM if you are WEMT certified, you can clear C-Spine in the field


And I'd love an autopilot for those long 0230 transports


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## emt_angel25 (Sep 21, 2008)

jpinfv said:


> a force field to keep the fire fighters out. If the patient isn't on fire, then there's no need for fire fighters and if the patient is on fire, they shouldn't be in the ambulance yet anyways.





holy crap!!! I love my firefighters. But they only need to stay out when they are on my ambulance telling me how to do things. I dont get on their firetruck and tell them h ow to do fire truck things!!! 

*we need on our ambulances 'auto medic' ya know for when ur pt is just to nasty to touch *


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## mycrofft (Sep 22, 2008)

*A rear mounted winch and giant suction cup .*

Never have to back in, pull the cable off the winch on one side of the buper, set the suxcup on the back wall of the parking slot, pull the cable through the eyebolt on it and back to the other side of the rar bumper, and then just reel 'er in.


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## traumateam1 (Sep 23, 2008)

A Tim Hortons coffee machine!!!!! I'd never leave my rig...:unsure: except to get the p.t of course.... lol


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## Scout (Sep 23, 2008)

An EMH??



1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10


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