# Follow these rules to keep EMS personel Happy



## emergmedik (Feb 29, 2008)

1. Pain Sucks, Believe Me I Know, But It Won't Kill You.

2. If You've Lived A Certain With A Pain For 5 Days And Not Seen Your Doctor About It, Don't Get Mad When It Doesn't Impress Me At 3 Am.

3. Vomiting Is Not In Itself An Emergency, It Is, However, A Defense Mechanism Of The Body To Rid Itself Of Harmful Things.

4. Pain Is Almost Always Proportionate To Stupidity.

5. You Have To Tell Me What Is Wrong! I'm An Emt, Not A Mind-reader.

6. If You Take 20 Rx Meds And Tell Me You Have No Medical Problems, I May Get A Little Snippy With You.

7. We Are Not A Taxi! That Is Not What An Ambulance Is Designed For. If You Simply Need A Ride-and Are In No Danger Of Dying In The Next Hour (you've Waited However Long So Far), Look Up Taxis In The Yellowpages.

8. Going To The Hospital By Ambulance Does Not Mean You Will Get Seen By The Doctor Any Faster-i Mean This! You May Even Be Put In Triage When Exiting My Truck. It Is Not To Be Mean, It Is Actually Based On A System To Treat The Sickest Folks First. Just In Case You Were Wondering.

9. Tell The Dispatcher If You Are 300 Lbs And Not Able To Walk! Me And My Partner Alone Can Not Carry You Down Three Flights Of Stairs!!!!

10. Pull To The Right Folks-not Freak Out And Slam On The Brakes.

11. In True Form With Number 10, Don't Ask Me What Took Me So Long When I First Pull Up! This Will Only Piss Me Off And I Will Let You Know That You Have Probably Blocked Me While Driving Lights And Siren At Least Once In Your Life-thats The Stuff That Takes Us So Long.

12. If You Are Bouncing Off The Wall Because You Are In "so Much Pain", I Can't Help You. Sit Still And Then We Can Go From There.

13. Yes, That Iv Really Is Necessary. I've Done Enough Of Them That I Don't Stick For The Thrill Of It And I've Had Enough Of Them To Know That They Do Really Sting. Wanna Get To Feeling Better, Hold Still.

14. We Are Not Rolling Pharmacies! There Is An Eckerd Or Walgreens Just Down The Street, Stop Asking.

15. This Is Not The Movies Folks! If You Ride In My Truck, We Do Not Drive To The Hospital With Lights Flashing And Sirens Wailing Just Because You Bumped Your Knee In A Car Accident. (see 1)

16. Use A Little Common Sense When Using The 911 System Folks. Your Broken Finger Two Years Ago Does Not Have Anything To Do With Your Headache Today.

17. Lets Take A Minute To Examine The Word Emergency, Shall We? It Means Life Or Limb Threatening. Ambulance Were Designed For These Types Of Scenarios. A Tooth Ache, Broken Toe, And Vomiting Once Do Not Fit Into This Category.

18. In Accordance With Number 12, When You Get In, There Are A Few Things I Have To Do Before We Get To The Hospital, Like Vital Signs, Bandaging, Etc. If This Is Not What You Wanted Me To Do, Maybe You Should Have Called A Cab. Thats Just How It Works.

19. If You Are Having An Emergency And I Enter Your Home To Help And Am Suddenly Attacked By Your Dog, I Will Render It Safe! If You Tell Me I Shouldn't Have Kicked It, Was This Truly An Emergency?

20. Always, Always Remember! You Called Me-not The Other Way Around. It Is Not In My Job Description To Take S@#t From You Or To Kiss Your *** And Make Everything All Pretty. I Will Be Nice If You Are. Be Warned, I Can Be A Real Motherf@#%er Should The Need Arise!

21. Roads Are Bumpy And Suspension In My Truck Were Probably Made By The Lowest Bidder.

22. I Am Not In Billing, So I Have No Idea What The Treatment I Provide Will Cost. If You Are Stable Enough To Ask, Don't Be Offended If I Tell You That It Is Going To Be More Than A Taxi Fare.

23. Don't Stand Over My Shoulder Telling Me How To Treat Someone You Care About. I Have Trained To Do It. I Completely Understand Wanting To Help, Don't Get Me Wrong. But If You Don't Agree With Anything I Do At The Scene, Apply For A Job And Tell Them You Want To Be My Supervisor.

24. Don't Call And Tell The Dispatcher To Send Us With "no Lights And Sirens". If You Don't Need Them, Call A Cab.

25. If You Haven't Had Numbers On Your Mailbox In Ten Years, Don't Get Mad When I Drive Past Your House. Telling The Dispatcher "the White House With Green Shutters" Just Don't Cut It.

26. If It Does Take Me A While To Get To You, Just Remember The Time You Didn't Feel Like Pulling Over, And Remember That You Don't Have Numbers On Your Mailbox, And Think Of The Fact That The Ambulance That Should Have Been Closer To You May Be Helping Someone Else So We Had To Come From Farther Away.

27. If You Tell Me The Pain Med That "works The Best" And Include The Dosage, Don't Surprised If I Don't Offer It To You.

28. I Don't Care That You're A Dental Hygeinist Who Is Helping Out At The Scene Of A Horrible Car Wreck. Please Step Back, We've Got It. (actual Call)

29. You Haven't Taken The Meds You Were Prescribed For Two Years Now? I Wonder Why You're Having This Problem? Hhhmmmm????

30. That Tingling In Your Hands And Feet, You're Not Dying! You're Breathing Too Fast Because You Have Allowed Drama To Bite You In The ***. Relax And I Promise You Will Start To Feel Better With Out Any Further Assistance From Me.


----------



## MikeRi24 (Feb 29, 2008)

LOL thats great...i printed that out to show some people haha and the best part is, its all true.


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 1, 2008)

hey what can I say.........I try!:lol:


----------



## FireNinja (Mar 6, 2008)

Yeah I can safely say I think I"ve had each one of these statements has run through my head at one point in time or another. Awesome post.


----------



## TheMowingMonk (Mar 10, 2008)

thats amazing. hehehe


----------



## emtwacker710 (Mar 11, 2008)

ha, I love this post, I have to say all of those have probably gone throught my head at one time or another..


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 11, 2008)

glad you liked the post........humor keeps us all sane most days!!!!!B)


----------



## firecoins (Mar 12, 2008)

emergmedik said:


> 28. I Don't Care That You're A Dental Hygeinist Who Is Helping Out At The Scene Of A Horrible Car Wreck. Please Step Back, We've Got It. (actual Call)



now you have to give details.  tell me about the call.  Was the hygenist cute?


----------



## FireNinja (Mar 12, 2008)

Yeah I wanna know too?


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 12, 2008)

you guys are terrible!!! lol........ actually I don't remember what she looked like, you'll have to ask the lucky rookie FF I sent to entertain her!  BAD, BAD, VERY BAD!


----------



## fma08 (Mar 13, 2008)

setting the fact that i'm gonna get my *** kicked aside, leave it to a firefighter to go "entertain" a cute girl on scene


----------



## FireNinja (Mar 14, 2008)

Hey the Pay sucks.... It's called a fringe benefit. LOL


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 15, 2008)

hey I never said she was cute......... assumptions, assumptions, assumptions!
LOL.......


----------



## BBFDMedic28 (Mar 16, 2008)

emergmedik said:


> 24. Don't Call And Tell The Dispatcher To Send Us With "no Lights And Sirens". If You Don't Need Them, Call A Cab.


 AMEN! We get those calls all the time espescialy when i am on the fre truck.


----------



## BBFDMedic28 (Mar 16, 2008)

And for the record... Being on shift at the firestation right now, I know lots of firemen that would happily go entertain a cute dental hygenist.


----------



## firecoins (Mar 16, 2008)

I still would like to know what a dental hygenist was trying to do as "first responder"  Was she giving vicitms a cleaning?


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 16, 2008)

I'm sure there are quite a few capable and able bodied firemen out there that have no problem with the entertaining part of the job!!:blush:


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 16, 2008)

hey firecoins,
she was a "trained" medical person she was offering her assistance...... in what I'm still trying to figure out!!!!:unsure:


----------



## EMTryan (Mar 16, 2008)

Awesome!! 

I would add to that one of things that makes makes one of my EMT friends angry: Don't call 911 at 4am because you got your finger stuck in a rat trap 3 days ago...especially if the hospital is only 2 blocks away!!


----------



## Airwaygoddess (Mar 17, 2008)

*EMT and "Happy" rules!*

To keep this EMT happy.......A good cup of coffee, a fresh glazed donut, (I swear it can make or break a rough shift!)  and last BUT NOT LEAST....... to tell me that was a job well done!  ^_^


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 17, 2008)

I wholeheartedly agree to both posts.....thanx Ryan and Goddess for your imput!


----------



## TheMowingMonk (Mar 17, 2008)

Airwaygoddess said:


> To keep this EMT happy.......A good cup of coffee, a fresh glazed donut, (I swear it can make or break a rough shift!)  and last BUT NOT LEAST....... to tell me that was a job well done!  ^_^



you sure your an EMT and not a cop, hehehehe


----------



## firecoins (Mar 17, 2008)

EMTryan said:


> Awesome!!
> 
> I would add to that one of things that makes makes one of my EMT friends angry: Don't call 911 at 4am because you got your finger stuck in a rat trap 3 days ago...especially if the hospital is only 2 blocks away!!



they call from the hospital parking lot.


----------



## sarahharter (Mar 18, 2008)

thats F@#king awsome showed that to my partner and he laughed his a$$ off!


----------



## emergmedik (Mar 18, 2008)

glad I could be of assistance!B)


----------

