# Seven year old's view on childbirth



## Tincanfireman (Jan 4, 2007)

Thought you guys might like this one from an anonymous second grade teacher...


I've been teaching now for about fifteen years.  I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell.  So I always have a
few sessions with my students.  It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame.  Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.  And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them.  If they want to lug it in to school and
talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant.  "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and
then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.  He ate for
nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and
going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'  Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She
walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'  Now this kid is
doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man.  They got my Mom to
lie down in bed like this."  Then Erica lies down with her back against the
wall.
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
psshhheew!"  This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
flowing away.  It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten.  Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat.  I'm sure I applauded the loudest.  Ever since then,
when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another
"Middle Wife" comes along.


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## Airwaygoddess (Jan 4, 2007)

I love little kids at that age, they make everyday life fun!!^_^


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## Chimpie (Jan 4, 2007)

That's too funny.


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## cakilcrease (Jan 6, 2007)

and people wonder why i want to go into pediactrics... that is funny...


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## fyrdog (Jan 6, 2007)

I brought my sons to the emergency to retrieve my cell i had left there after a call a few days before. My 5 yo son went up to one of the nurses and was telling her all about Thomas the Tank Engine and how the diesels are mean to the steamies. And then he asks seriously "where do you keep your dead people?"

I bet you get that girl repeat her story and catch it on the camcorder.


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## Airwaygoddess (Jan 6, 2007)

Fyrdog, how old our your little ones?


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## fyrdog (Jan 7, 2007)

Airwaygoddess said:


> Fyrdog, how old our your little ones?



Ready - 8 (girl), 7 (boy), 5 (boy), 2 1/2 (girl), 1 (girl). Two more and the baseball team is complete.


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## linmye5 (Jan 7, 2007)

that is too funny. Some of the thing that come out of the mouth of babes is totally amazing, lol.


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## Tincanfireman (Jan 7, 2007)

Geez, now I'm feeling my age; I've got grandchilren older than that, but they still think Poppa is B)


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## CotWoman (Jan 8, 2007)

That is too funny...  I had my boyfriends kids out for lunch one day at Taco Bell, and Gabe (then 4 yrs old) yelled at the top of his lungs when he was done eating "IM FULLLLLLLLL"   - like in the commercial...
I laughed so hard I was crying...
You never know what they are going to say... it's always a treat!


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## Airwaygoddess (Jan 8, 2007)

fyrdog said:


> Ready - 8 (girl), 7 (boy), 5 (boy), 2 1/2 (girl), 1 (girl). Two more and the baseball team is complete.



My goodness fyrdog!  Do you have a permit for that parade!!^_^  They must keep you running!!  I have 2 - my boy Alex (12 1/2) and my daughter Sarah Rose, just turned 4 on Jan. 1st. ^_^  ^_^


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## fyrdog (Jan 9, 2007)

They are the only thing in Connecticut that you don't have to pay taxes on, get a permit or pay a lisence fee. One more on my salary and I even qualify for food stamps! (sad but true)


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## EMT2B (Oct 19, 2013)

I realize this is a necro-post.  I just had to add a couple of my own experiences with young children. 

I volunteer at a respite care center that temporarily houses children up to age 11 in two separate houses.  The "main" nursery houses children up to age five.  Not long after I started volunteering there, the kids were outside playing.  It was a little chilly, so I had my hoodie zipped and the hood up.  A little girl walked up to me and asked, "Is you's a boys or is you's a girls?"  I said, "I'm a girl, sweetheart."  She stood there for a moment, then put her hands on her hips and said, "Is you sure?" :rofl: :rofl: I stifled a laugh and said, "Yes, I'm sure."

Numerous children have come up to me, placed a hand on my abdomen, and asked, wide-eyed, "Is you gonna have a baby?"  I'm not svelte by any definition.  Most kids are satisfied when I say, "Not right now," but I had one little boy ask, "Then why is your tummy fat?  When my mommy 'hadded' a fat tummy, her 'hadded' a baby!"

More recently, I was in the bathroom, changing a little boy's diaper when a little girl came in to use the toilet.  We had the following conversation. 
"I know that all boys has a penis," she said.
"That's right," was my response.
"And all girls has a 'bagina'."
"You're right."
Then she looked up at me and said, "Which one you got?"
I said, "I'm a girl, sweetie." :rofl:  I love kids!! :-D


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