# EMS and reckless sexual behavior.



## Aidey (Oct 24, 2012)

We all know that people in EMS have a higher tendency towards alcohol abuse and other questionable behaviors. After a recent conversation with someone in EMS I'm curious how much this extends to making reckless sexual choices such as infidelity and one night stands. Do you guys think this is any more or less harmful than the other stuff people do to de-stress?

And before anyone worries, the poll is anonymous.


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## DrParasite (Oct 24, 2012)

cops are worse.


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## NYMedic828 (Oct 24, 2012)

Fireman usually have the stereotype of being ladiesman types...


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## Aidey (Oct 24, 2012)

Of course they are, but I'm curious about EMS people. I also wonder if there is a gender difference, difference between EMTs and Paramedics and people who do IFT and 911, or even CCT (Variances in stress levels and what not).


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## JPINFV (Oct 24, 2012)

Let's just say I've had partners admit to becoming members of the Code 3 Club.


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## Joe (Oct 24, 2012)

Im here to bang ladies and save lives


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## DrParasite (Oct 24, 2012)

it happens.  

long non-traditional hours, over indulgence of alcohol, spouses who aren't "in the business" and can't always related, and even worse when you don't want to burden them with what you were exposed to (mentally, not physically), and the fact that we are (in general) an incestuous bunch who tend to spend waaaay too much time together, and you see what happens.

That all being said, I know quite a few happily married people, who don't cheat on their spouses.  They have been married for 30 years, sometimes to a person in EMS, other times to someone totally out of it.

Have I had one night stands before?  yes.  Have I had flings with people in EMS?  yes (but never while at work).  Have I dated coworkers? (embarrassingly) yes.  Have I gone out with coworkers and had too much alcohol?  pleading the 5th on that one.  

Infidelity is one of those weird thing that isn't local to EMS.  if someone is going to cheat, than they will cheat; their occupation or career has nothing to do with it.  

If you are single and want to have a string of one night stands, go for it.  sex is a great stress relief.  Sex with coworkers is generally not a good idea, because it very very rarely stays secret.  Alcohol is used for stress relief too, in the short term, but tends to have long term consequences.  Many business men use it as well.





Joe said:


> Im here to bang ladies and save lives


at least you can admit it.  and chicks love a guy in uniform, or so I have been told


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## DesertMedic66 (Oct 24, 2012)

Honestly no I don't think EMS people are more risky... Now college students is a completely different story.


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## VFlutter (Oct 24, 2012)

Can you be more specific on what you consider risky sexual behavior? Lol

I voted but my vote is based more off healthcare in general not specific to EMS. I think when you see death and dying on a regular basis you start to see how little control you have. The good die young, the :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:s live forever and nothing happens like you expect it it. This mentality leads some to take more risks and live on the edge so to speak. I have made the mistake of having relationships with co-workers. It's usually a rough day at work, go out for a few drinks, then usually leads to something physical. It's some what of a stress relief for some. It is kind of weird being a male in a predominately female environment, I can honestly say I am not the instigator in most situations. Maybe it's because none of us have time for relationships during nursing school so when we get out we have a chip on our shoulder? Lol 

Although not as crazy as TV shows there really is a lot of "greys anatomy" type romances in the hospital. Or a better example is The House of God, it acutally has a great explanation of it. 

I honestly think my only hope for a decent relationship is with someone in the healthcare field. None of my other Exs could ever relate to me since so much if my life revolves around medicine. At least at this point in my life


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## NYMedic828 (Oct 24, 2012)

For the record, 90% of the EMS people I know aren't exactly ladykiller material...


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## Shishkabob (Oct 24, 2012)

Sex?



Where do I sign up?!


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## NomadicMedic (Oct 24, 2012)

Ill take some too.


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## bigbaldguy (Oct 24, 2012)

You think EMS is bad you should see what airline folks get up to. I actually find EMS to be a bit tame in the shenanigans area.

I've mellowed considerably but there are few bad ideas I didn't at one time or another try. Occasionally repeatedly even after disastrous results. Let's face it my industry is (or at least was) a target rich environment. I used to think this was a male/female thing but after 17 years in the airline biz I've decided women are just more subtle and a little bit smarter about these things. Probably because they tend to have more to loose.

Edit
If I'd known then what I know now I would have been even less restrained then I was. As someone else mentioned being good gets you little more than a great view of the others having fun.


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## citizensoldierny (Oct 24, 2012)

We're talking with others right:unsure:


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## Aidey (Oct 24, 2012)

bigbaldguy said:


> Edit
> If I'd known then what I know now I would have been even less restrained then I was. As someone else mentioned being good gets you little more than a great view of the others having fun.



Do you think you would have violated the age rule?


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## Shishkabob (Oct 24, 2012)

bigbaldguy said:


> women ... have more to loose.


  Giggity.  




Aidey said:


> Do you think you would have violated the age rule?



1/2 my age + 9 is 21.  I have no qualms with going down to the legal age of the state I'm in, take it where you can get it, right?  Though I will admit, it feels different looking at an 18yo college freshman, and an 18yo highschool senior....


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## bigbaldguy (Oct 24, 2012)

Aidey said:


> Do you think you would have violated the age rule?



Age rules a toughy because women are just way smarter then men which is easy to mistake for maturity but isn't. 

My opinion is that women more than 3 years younger than you just aren't worth the trouble. A mans true mental maturity is about 10 years younger than the actual age of the women/girls he dates. A man dating an 18 year old is about 8 years old maturity wise.

Plus once you go past the 5 year younger mark it's just too much trouble trying to follow what the hell they're talking about. If you start talking to date about your favorite TV show as a kid and they go "oh yeah I uses to watch that every Saturday morning as a kid......on nickelodeon" well lets just face it that's just creepy and a little sad.


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## bigbaldguy (Oct 24, 2012)

Linuss said:


> Giggity.



I wish I was that clever but unintentional I'm afraid.


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## Aidey (Oct 24, 2012)

Linuss said:


> 1/2 my age + 9 is 21.  I have no qualms with going down to the legal age  of the state I'm in, take it where you can get it, right?  Though I  will admit, it feels different looking at an 18yo college freshman, and  an 18yo highschool senior....




Do you think you would still think legal age is ok if you were older, say 29-30?


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## bigbaldguy (Oct 24, 2012)

Aidey said:


> Do you think you would still think legal age is ok if you were older, say 29-30?



Aidey just be a cougar already


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## Aidey (Oct 24, 2012)

Rawr


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## Shishkabob (Oct 24, 2012)

Aidey said:


> Do you think you would still think legal age is ok if you were older, say 29-30?



If I was 30 and she was 18 and hot, with all I look for in a female?  Hell yes.  If I'm bagging 18 year olds at Hugh Hefners age, don't I deserve the prize?!  :lol:



Infact, I worked with an EMT yesterday who's 28, and his wife is 48.  They got married when he was 23, and they've known each other pretty much his whole life.  Age difference?  Sure.  Does it matter?  Not really after you get out of school.  Adult is adult.



What's his name, Aidey?


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## Aidey (Oct 24, 2012)

BBG - Thank you. That is the point I've been trying to make.

Linuss - Knock it off, you are not helping!



Edit: And if your spouse is old enough to be your parent that is definitely iffy.


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## VFlutter (Oct 24, 2012)

Aidey said:


> Do you think you would have violated the age rule?



That rule must be for old men because or me it work out to 20 which is two years younger then me. I'd still go down to 18


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## Fish (Oct 25, 2012)

NYMedic828 said:


> For the record, 90% of the EMS people I know aren't exactly ladykiller material...



Haha


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## Shishkabob (Oct 25, 2012)

Aidey and ______ sitting in a tree....  :wub:


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## DrParasite (Oct 25, 2012)

Aidey said:


> Do you think you would still think legal age is ok if you were older, say 29-30?


you got your eye on an 18 year old?  go for it

as someone who dated someone 14 years older than he was at the time, I can say if you think he's hot, he thinks your hot, and you want to give it a shot, and you are both of legal age, go for it.

Personally, once i got out of college, I only dated or hooked up with people who were over 21 (if you can't buy a beer legally, come back to me when you can), but if you are looking for some fun, go for it.

On a totally serious note, I've had a lot of fun performing reckless behavior, some that probably weren't the smartest choices after the fact, but ones that are experiences that I can proudly say I did and had fun doing. 

As I told my ex who (for some strange reason) asked me if I thought it was weird that she (an over 40 cougar) started dating a guy in his late 20s, if you think he's hot, he thinks your hot, and you want to give it a shot, go for it.  who care what everyone else thinks as long as you are having fun?


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## Aidey (Oct 25, 2012)

Linuss said:


> Aidey and ______ sitting in a tree....  :wub:



Nah, I'm well behaved. No one is going to be planning an intervention for me any time soon.


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## DesertMedic66 (Oct 25, 2012)

According to the age rule I can go out with anyone who is 19 or older. As long as it is legal age in that state I personally do not have an issue. 

Age gaps don't mean much. My parents have almost a 10 year age difference and have been married for 24 years. 

I'm also a male age 20 so if there are any takers send me a PM :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: I kid, I kid haha


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## socalmedic (Oct 25, 2012)

I have definitely had some risky sexual encounters... you have to watch out for those ICU nurses, they are all nuts. 

in all seriousness though I am 24, and have no intention of settling down any time soon. with that said, I used to be just like linuss in that I would chase anything that moved. I never asked their age for fear that what I was about to do would be illegal h34r: now days I still go out quite often but tend to be with the same chick for a month or two until things get boring then off to the next. I only date chicks 21 or older as I cant stand to listen to the nonsense that comes out of the younger ones mouths. I do feel as though those of us in emergency services tend to be more reckless with everything we do. I feel chicks are just as bad as us but keep dont talk about it as much.


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## DrParasite (Oct 25, 2012)

socalmedic said:


> you have to watch out for those ICU nurses, they are all nuts.


ER nurses are even worse.... but sooo worth it!


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## socalmedic (Oct 25, 2012)

DrParasite said:


> ER nurses are even worse.... but sooo worth it!



IDK about that, I have had my share of both. the ER nurses are wild, the the ICU ones are truly nuts. great for the bedroom but bad when you stop calling.


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## Anjel (Oct 25, 2012)

I am 22. My husband is 28. 

Doesn't seem too weird. But if we go by the age rule, I am too young. So I think that is silly.


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## Jambi (Oct 25, 2012)

Anjel1030 said:


> I am 22. My husband is 28.
> 
> Doesn't seem too weird. But if we go by the age rule, I am too young. So I think that is silly.



6 years is just within the limits of an acceptable age gap, in my opinion.  Any more than that, there may be issues relating to each other.

Additionally, I went the opposite that you did Angel...my wife is 38 and I am 32.


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## Jambi (Oct 25, 2012)

And since the topic is freak deaky stuff.

There was a dispatcher and a crew that got fired after the dispatcher cleared the unit for "main," and when the crew arrived the dispatcher went out to the ambulance and all 3 got freaky deaky in the back...


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## waaaemt (Oct 25, 2012)

NYMedic828 said:


> For the record, 90% of the EMS people I know aren't exactly ladykiller material...



hahahaha i hear that...


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## Jon (Oct 25, 2012)

Umm. Wow.


I really don't like the direction this thread could head in, but I don't see anything that warrants closing the thread at this point. Be assured that this thread has MASSIVE attention from the CL team, though.

That said, I think that we, as ADULTS, can have a mature discussion about sex. (well, I'd like to dream that we could have such a discussion). 

Further, I think that the OP has a point. If nothing else, many television personifications of EMS have involved loose moral behavior. (ER, Third Watch, Trauma, and I'm pretty sure Chicago Fire will get there if not cancelled first).

I see no reason we can't have this conversation if we keep this discussion relatively clean and family-friendly. That means PG or maybe PG-13, if you catch my drift.


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## Sublime (Oct 25, 2012)

Lust has been cemented into our DNA and is one of the main reasons the human population was able to thrive. Back in the day not every child survived birth and the availability of partners was nothing like today. So the urge to have sex with as many people as possible to maximize potential of the species to thrive was a necessary function. 

I think for this reason this is not an issue limited to ems, but every profession an person. I think it is more prominent in careers that allow one to be away from home for long periods of time. I mean what the spouse doesn't know can't hurt em right?

Look at the CIA guys who got busted this year for the prostitute thing over seas. Airlines, fire, ems and other jobs that allow more time away from home allow more opportunity to be unfaithful. And I'm sure the temptations become greater when you're away and know you can get away with it.

Edit: To answer the question as to whether it is more harmful or not than other stress relievers.... It depends.

If you're single and not ruining your family by cheating, catching STDs, or making lots of baby mommas... I think it's perfectly fine.


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## Bullets (Oct 25, 2012)

Aidey said:


> Do you think you would have violated the age rule?



If the age rule applies, then i can date anyone 21 and older. 

Im currently dating a 19 college sophomore.  (Humblebrag)

I dont view that as risky behavior...

Im not married, so im not really worried. I have engaged in activities with all the usual people EMTs interact with But i dont think that single consenting adults are engaging in risky activity


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## fast65 (Oct 25, 2012)

Although I haven't engaged in any "reckless sexual behavior", it seems to be more prevalent in EMS, at least in my experience. It seems that a good amount of my coworkers, and associates on the FD or in the ER, have engaged in such behavior; all of this is drawn from stories I've heard though. 

I won't theorize as to what causes this behavior, as that's already been done, but it does seems more prevalent.


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## DrParasite (Oct 25, 2012)

fast65 said:


> all of this is drawn from stories I've heard though.


just remember, a lot of the "stories" have been exaggerated based on the story teller, or "modified" to fit the audience.  unless you witness it first hand, or they have pictures, take everything you hear with a grain of salt.  the rumor mill can blow everything out of proportion.


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## fast65 (Oct 25, 2012)

DrParasite said:


> just remember, a lot of the "stories" have been exaggerated based on the story teller, or "modified" to fit the audience.  unless you witness it first hand, or they have pictures, take everything you hear with a grain of salt.  the rumor mill can blow everything out of proportion.



I have no doubt they're exaggerated, but when the stories aren't that exciting, and there's not much variation between story tellers, they become more believable.


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## Jambi (Oct 25, 2012)

Ya'll be surprised by what gets caught on tape at the casino.  Employees and patrons...

Some things cannot be unseen, that's all I'll say.


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## Porta (Oct 25, 2012)

As a somewhat "older" female Basic, I see a lot of younger Basics exhibiting "risky" sexual behavior. But I don't think it's because they're Basics, I think it's because they're late teens (18-19) and early twenties. I was the same way before I met my husband. I wouldn't exactly say its an EMS related behavior, as it is more related to maturity. Just my two cents. Interesting topic though.


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## mycrofft (Oct 25, 2012)

Aidey said:


> We all know that people in EMS have a higher tendency towards alcohol abuse and other questionable behaviors. After a recent conversation with someone in EMS I'm curious how much this extends to making reckless sexual choices such as infidelity and one night stands. Do you guys think this is any more or less harmful than the other stuff people do to de-stress?
> 
> And before anyone worries, the poll is anonymous.



Higher than whom?

Pun unintended.


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## Cup of Joe (Oct 25, 2012)

firefite said:


> Honestly no I don't think EMS people are more risky... Now college students is a completely different story.



Saying "it's college" makes [almost] everything ok.


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## Jambi (Oct 25, 2012)

Cup of Joe said:


> Saying "it's college" makes [almost] everything ok.



Sure, but you can't leave herpes at college. Lol


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