# I have a small problem...



## aussieemt1980 (Apr 10, 2008)

I once had a call for a patient who had come off a motorbike, and I had to provide advice. It would appear that he pinched, ahem, his privates in between his pants and body armour that he was wearing for racing,

and gave himself a blood blister on the tip of his penis, and he asked...

"what can I do about this?"

well, the only thing that I could think off at that point was - ice it to reduce the swelling. the reply came back it will reduce more than swelling, so i did the only thing a medic can do - referred him to his doctor


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## JPINFV (Apr 10, 2008)

I had something similar to that working first aid at a water park (sweet gig, by the way). ~5 year old boy had the tip of his penis stuck inside the netting of his swim trunks. The glans was a nice swollen purple when the parents finally got to first aid, but I was able to successfully 'extricate' him from his trunks. Give the number of nerve endings out there, the initial appearance, and the fact that there was a few pretty bad abrasions on the glans, I definitely referred them to their PMD.

Sure, ice will shrink everything down there, but the only permanent shrinkage will be the swelling.

The second year I had a 6 y/o girl fall of a rope and ended up doing the splits on the side of the pool which ended up causing a cut on the inside of the vaginal wall. Minor cut but bad location. The parents called their PMD and the nurse on the line pulled out the standard "bring them in" line, but 5 minutes later the doc called back telling them to just keep it clean and don't worry about it. 

I have no clue how I attracted that kind of patient. <_<


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## Ops Paramedic (Apr 10, 2008)

... morphine stat (it hurst just reading the thread)!!!


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## Jon (Apr 10, 2008)

Y'know... because of the culture we are raised in, we tend to get uncomfortable with patients with "private" problems. And our patients are uncomfortable already, so that doesn't help.

I've been lucky to avoid much of these issues... although I had the somewhat uncomfortable task of asking a 14 y/o high school student, S/P syncopal episode when her LMP was... yeah... that just never seems to work right.

Of course, I know an EMT who tends to break into uncontrollable laughter whenever the word "penis" is said... so that doesn't help matters either.


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## firecoins (Apr 10, 2008)

I too once had a small problem. I took natural male enhancement for it.  Now I have a big problem.


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## JPINFV (Apr 10, 2008)

Jon said:


> Of course, I know an EMT who tends to break into uncontrollable laughter whenever the word "penis" is said... so that doesn't help matters either.


[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci-LX9fd064[/YOUTUBE]


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## BossyCow (Apr 10, 2008)

I had one where an 8 yo boy wearing loose shorts through a nettle patch found out that he was allergic to nettles. He was in pain, but not seriously hurt. The most difficult part of the transport was Dad's attempt to keep things light by making jokes!


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## AJemt (Apr 10, 2008)

6-9 (not sure actual age - don't remember) male pt who tried to jump over one of those metal fences with the decorative tops that end in a spike....yeah that didn't work so well.  ended up he punctured his scrotum - fortunately for those of us on the crew the paramedic was male....guess who ended up writing a very bls chart?  ps i don't htink the kid ever tried that again....


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## Epi-do (Apr 10, 2008)

I had a run not to long after getting on at my current job where we were sent to an inpatient mental health facility for an adolescent boy who had removed the spring out of a toilet paper roll holder and inserted it into his penis.  I should have known something was up when the engine crew is standing there snickering and all they will tell me is that the patient has an "impailed object" but won't say anything else.  Instead they let me ask the patient to show me what happened.  To say the least, that is not what I was expecting to see.  I was called Springy for a few shifts after that run.


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## Onceamedic (Apr 10, 2008)

I had one of our extremely inebriated urban outdoorsmen brought in by the cops for a medical clearance.  He had had a close encounter with the K9 unit - too drunk to understand that he had to take his hand out of his pocket..  our cops are not the most forebearing guys when they feel threatened...  I examined some pretty serious lacerations on his arm but when he went to pull out his johnson for me to inspect the bite on the end of it I thanked him for his enthusiasm but assured him that he could wait for the doctor (I don't get paid anywhere near enough)


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## aussieemt1980 (Apr 16, 2008)

Ahh, Love Scrubs - the excellent comic relief needed. I can only hope that when I finish my nursing degree that working in a hospital would just like that (although one of the lecturers said that being an RN was nothing like scrubs - give me time!)

I gotta admit, I did take a small step back when I attended to this patient, it is not every day that patients whip out the old fella for it to be looked at. I always joke with my wife that this is the only job where women remove their clothes willingly for you... and then get slapped.

But then again, there was the late cold night that I was doing EMS at an heavy metal concert weekend, where some of the crew walked in to see me with my hands up a females jumper in the chest area and thought that I was doing more than a respiratory assessment as she attended with an acute asthma episode... they thought that I had done well to get a good looking girl to lift her shirt... some people have little minds, i swear. 

Like many of our brothers and sisters in EMS, I dont see anything that some would consider to be "hot", I see epithelial tissue, and functions. Human Biosciences training at uni has seen to that, and well, my wife just does not look the same... (ouch, I just got slapped again).


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## paramedix (Apr 16, 2008)

ouch ouch ouch ouch.....:wacko::wacko::wacko:


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## newtonfb19 (Apr 16, 2008)

One of the squads I ride for is my college campus' squad, and there's one call that always comes to mind when these kinds of calls are brought up.  The call was dispatched as a 19 yof with an allergic rxn.  Upon my arrival, I found the pt sitting in the lounge, looking extremely embarrassed.  Because we responded by foot from our dorms, everyone from our crew doesn't show up at the same time, and on this particular call, I was the last to arrive.  Because I saw the initial assessment was already complete, I asked the question "So...have you used anything recently that you havn't used before?"

After seeing the awkward stares from the pt and my crew, I realized what had happened.

She had just found out she was allergic to latex :blush: ...


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## BossyCow (Apr 16, 2008)

That took me a minute.. but it was funny!!!


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## TheAfterAffect (Apr 17, 2008)

JPINFV said:


> [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci-LX9fd064[/YOUTUBE]




I was more thinking along the lines of [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gfy-mDUQl0[/YOUTUBE]


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## emtwacker710 (Apr 22, 2008)

hmm all this talk reminds me of a call I heard about, I was doing my 10 hours of required ER time for my EMT class and a friend of mine in a local squad brought in this pt. male around 19 y/o and around 250-270lbs and he was "dumpster diving" and there was a nice sharp piece of metal that had bent up on the edge of the dumpster...well as he was coming out of the dumpster guess what he came across.....yup the piece of metal...well he sliced his scrotum wide open...I was busy with the nurse in another room with a pt. so I didn't get that pt. (thank god, I would probably be in pain just seeing him)


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## mdkemt (May 1, 2008)

All I can say is:
Owch!


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## aussieemt1980 (May 2, 2008)

Found this clip on youtube that would also be relevant:

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pZBHcX6flfg"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pZBHcX6flfg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Damn, didnt work... can some one tell me how to fix it?


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## TheAfterAffect (May 2, 2008)

aussieemt1980 said:


> Found this clip on youtube that would also be relevant:
> 
> <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pZBHcX6flfg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
> 
> Damn, didnt work... can some one tell me how to fix it?






[YOUTUBE]pZBHcX6flfg[/YOUTUBE]



Fixed, theres a Little You Tube Button up top. Press that and place the YouTube identification number inside the code, in this case pZBHcX6flfg


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## mdtaylor (May 2, 2008)

Calls like this, as common as they seem to be, are uncommon to individual pre-hospital care providers. Or so I thought up until last week. This is in the geographical area but slightly off topic.

My partner and I were called to a 'sick person' one evening. On arrival we find an 89 YOF in left lateral fetal position complaining of a foreign object embedded in the rectum. Seems that the working end of the enema tube had dislodged from the tube and decided to remain in the old cavern.

The patient adamantly refused transport and begged us to remove the object. Even after explaining that this was a surgical procedure she asked us to call our supervisor. Much to our amazement, and in between chortles, the sup told us to go for it if we wanted to help her out, and simply tell her it cannot be done outside of the hospital if we didn't. Well, after consulting with my partner we mutually agreed that if we couldn't see it we wouldn't go for it. Needless to say we ended up transporting, glad that endoscopes are not a part of our kits.

I'm too old now but I think my partner is going to have nightmares for a long time.


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