# Favorite Scrubs quotes and favorite moments



## EMTBandit (Apr 3, 2007)

Since we seem to be on a Scrubs kick around here, thought I'd ask the question, what are some of your favorite quotes and memorable moments that the characters have said or done on Scrubs? Be free to post more when you think of them or hear more quotes that you think are funny or just saw an episode and wanna share it with the rest of us! Also im sure if you look online you can find a lot of good ones. 

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Just heard this one watching an episode:

(Dr. Kelso talking to Molly about her upcoming trip to Mexico.)

Dr. Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.

Molly: Gracias Senor.

Dr. Kelso: Your Welcomo!

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When J.D. is running away from Dr. Cox he turns and see's Dr. Cox fall over a stretcher.

J.D.: Well, that was easier than I thought, im all in the clear. But you know who I haven't seen toda... (Janitor pops out from a room yawning and clothesline J.D. to the ground.)

Janitor turns to Dr. Cox: You looking for this?


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## smaguirepsu (Apr 3, 2007)

Well the episode where Janitor becomes a security guard is one of my favorite.  The Polyphonic Spree playing at the end is priceless.  But as for just random quotes throughout Scrubs I think it might be this one:

*Dr. Kelso:* Here at Sacred Heart, I like to think that our patients choose our hospital not only because I leak vicious rumors about competing hospitals to the press, but also because when they see one of our doctors they think, Now that's a professional!
*Elliot:* Um, Sir I don't think I look unprofessional.
*Dr. Kelso:* I've let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain I'm going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone!

And Molly is definitely one of the more amusing guest characters they've had on the show.


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## Guardian (Apr 4, 2007)

I've never been able to sit through an episode of scrubs.  It doesn't appeal to me in the least.  I know I'm the minority on this but I had to get it off my chest.


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## Ridryder911 (Apr 4, 2007)

Scrubs is loosely based upon the novel "House of God" about an intern. I used to make my EMT students read it to get the "mythical" illusion of medicine out of their heads and the reality of true medicine. 

If you do like Scrubs this site has all the the episodes for free as well as recent movies for free! http://tvshows.tubezoom.com/

R/r911


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## EMTBandit (Apr 4, 2007)

Ridryder911 said:


> Scrubs is loosely based upon the novel "House of God" about an intern. I used to make my EMT students read it to get the "mythical" illusion of medicine out of their heads and the reality of true medicine.
> 
> If you do like Scrubs this site has all the the episodes for free as well as recent movies for free! http://tvshows.tubezoom.com/
> 
> R/r911



Dude you rock. Thanks!


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## Jon (Apr 4, 2007)

Rid... I just read _The House Of God_ over the winter. I should have read it sooner. I now need to read _Mt. Misery _(his other book)

To go off topic here... this is something that bears repeating :

Laws of the House Of God (Shamelessly copied from Wikipeida - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_God)

GOMERS DON’T DIE.
GOMERS GO TO GROUND.
AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE.
THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE.
PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.
THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH A #14 NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.
AGE + BUN = LASIX DOSE.
THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.
THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION.
IF YOU DON’T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN’T FIND A FEVER.
SHOW ME A MEDICAL STUDENT WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.
IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE MEDICAL STUDENT BOTH SEE A LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION THERE.
THE DELIVERY OF GOOD MEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.
 
PS... The House Of God is where we get some important elements of our common medical slang. GOMER, Zebra (If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras), LOL in NAD, etc.


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## fm_emt (Apr 5, 2007)

"What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso!" 

Heh. I love that line.


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## Guardian (Apr 5, 2007)

Ridryder911 said:


> Scrubs is loosely based upon the novel "House of God" about an intern. I used to make my EMT students read it to get the "mythical" illusion of medicine out of their heads and the reality of true medicine.
> 
> If you do like Scrubs this site has all the the episodes for free as well as recent movies for free! http://tvshows.tubezoom.com/
> 
> R/r911



that website is great for pirate videos and I'm having a lot of fun watching some of the new releases.  Just wondering, does anyone have a problem with watching (stealing) new videos off the internet?  I’m not here to judge, I can’t resist the urge myself.  I just think it brings up an interesting ethical question.


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## Ridryder911 (Apr 5, 2007)

I don't and here is the reason. I am not actually obtaining it, rather viewing it only. I do not copy or steal it. It would be the same if I was to borrow the DVD from you and watched it or was in a store and they were displaying the show ... would that be wrong ? Should I have to pay the manufacture each time I borrowed a copy or viewed it? 

I do see a double edged sword to the issue. 

Now, ironically I was attempting to locate some safety commercial videos that was produced in England/Ireland. They were great ad's on seatbelts and paying attention, much more graphic than U.S. would allow. Definitely the type to get the point across, but found them removed because the company copyright. 

So the company is worried about the copyright instead of the message? So if someone pirated a copy that would be a bad thing, if they prevented a death? God forbid that they did not make some cash on it..!

I realize it costs money to produce films and artist protection, etc.., but after a period of time they have received the money from the original product. 

R/r 911


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## Medic's Wife (Apr 5, 2007)

I have much more weighty ethical issues to grapple with in my personal life.  For example, do I actually reach my hands out and place them around the neck of my husband's ex-wife who treats their 5yo son like $hit, or do I just fantasize about it in my spare time?


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## fm_emt (Apr 11, 2007)

Medic's Wife said:


> I have much more weighty ethical issues to grapple with in my personal life.  For example, do I actually reach my hands out and place them around the neck of my husband's ex-wife who treats their 5yo son like $hit, or do I just fantasize about it in my spare time?



Remember, attempted murder charges look BAD on job applications.


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## fm_emt (Apr 11, 2007)

Guardian said:


> that website is great for pirate videos and I'm having a lot of fun watching some of the new releases.  Just wondering, does anyone have a problem with watching (stealing) new videos off the internet?  I’m not here to judge, I can’t resist the urge myself.  I just think it brings up an interesting ethical question.



Depending on where you are, it could just be classified as "time shifting." You're not actually taking possession or committing piracy by viewing it online.

If you want the real detailed answer, I'll have The Lawyer dig it up tomorrow.


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## Guardian (Apr 11, 2007)

Ridryder911 said:


> I don't and here is the reason. I am not actually obtaining it, rather viewing it only. I do not copy or steal it. It would be the same if I was to borrow the DVD from you and watched it or was in a store and they were displaying the show ... would that be wrong ? Should I have to pay the manufacture each time I borrowed a copy or viewed it?
> 
> I do see a double edged sword to the issue.
> 
> ...



Downloading it onto your computer is not obtaining it?  There are some movies that are barely out of theaters on that site.  I think it is stealing and so does the law.  When you post it onto a website where millions can watch it, how will the owners of that movie get paid?  Hell, stallone is still getting royalties for rocky, so it never expires.  Can I come into your house and live there.  After all, you've owned it for a while and had a bunch of people over so it's not really yours anymore.  I'm still making up my own mind on the issue but I do have serious ethical doubts about it.


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## Guardian (Apr 11, 2007)

fm_emt said:


> Depending on where you are, it could just be classified as "time shifting." You're not actually taking possession or committing piracy by viewing it online.
> 
> If you want the real detailed answer, I'll have The Lawyer dig it up tomorrow.



Yea, because if there's one person who knows about unethical behavior, it's the scum sucking lawyer.


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## disassociative (Apr 11, 2007)

lol, I have my Tivo set to series link on every channel that scrubs comes on.
Dr. Cox is tha man.

Doug in Elevator with JD On Gurney with Body Bag
*Doug:* AAAH!!!!(starts hitting him with Fire Extinguisher)
*J.D.:* Doug, Doug!! Why are you hitting me with a fire extinguisher?!?
*Doug:* I thought you were a dead person coming back to life!
*J.D.:* Then, why are you hitting me with a fire extinguisher?!?
*Doug(pretty shaken):*Because, dead people should stay dead..


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## Jon (Apr 11, 2007)

disassociative said:


> lol, I have my Tivo set to series link on every channel that scrubs comes on.
> Dr. Cox is tha man.
> 
> Doug in Elevator with JD On Gurney with Body Bag
> ...


Hey... I LOVE Doug. He's the MAN. I loved the episode where he found his new calling!


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## hangit (Apr 11, 2007)

Guardian said:


> I've never been able to sit through an episode of scrubs.    I know I'm the minority on this but I had to get it off my chest.



:ditto: not that it doesn't appeal to me, just never sat and watched it.


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## EMTBandit (Apr 11, 2007)

Jon said:


> Hey... I LOVE Doug. He's the MAN. I loved the episode where he found his new calling!



I just saw that one the other day lol. I loved when everyone was trying to hide him from one of the hospital big wigs. Especially the part where Carla just got done saying he's a good doctor and he turns around and accidentally shocks her with the defib paddles lol.


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## Jon (Apr 12, 2007)

EMTBandit... I like Janitor when he plays Security Officer - I think you mentioned it, but I can't find it.


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## EMTBandit (Apr 12, 2007)

Jon said:


> EMTBandit... I like Janitor when he plays Security Officer - I think you mentioned it, but I can't find it.



Lol, I love that episode. I think someone else mentioned that though I forget. If your looking for a quote by him in that episode its somewhere in this site http://www.listology.com/content_show.cfm/content_id.12140

They have just about every memorable saying.


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## rgnoon (Feb 18, 2008)

I know its an old thread, but I am just going to have to dig it up for the episode where Perry does two shifts on an ambulance _(as an NJ EMT I might add) _to fulfill his community service. Best part is when Molly Shannon's character scares the fecal matter out of good 'ole Dr. Cox with the "check under the hood and wait for the siren blast" trick...classic.

"My Last Chance"


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## NRNCEMT (Feb 18, 2008)

*Jordan*: It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids, and we need to figure out something great for the adults.
*Dr. Cox*: How about a russian roulette booth? And here's the kicker, we put bullets in all the chambers, that way *everybody* wins!


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## JPINFV (Feb 18, 2008)

The Poop song from the episode "My Musical" was great. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb2fdHbGo7k&feature=related


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## Summit (Feb 18, 2008)

fm_emt said:


> Remember, attempted murder charges look BAD on job applications.



That's because it shows failure in important pursuits. If you are going to kill, do the damn job right and follow through! Employers look for that.


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## roxychick (Feb 19, 2008)

My favorite is when Carla takes Rowdy to the dog groomer and the place rejects her.

Carla: Your sign doesn't say *LIVE* dog groomer!

and this....

Elliot: And, Mr. Phillips, do you exercise?
Mr. Phillips: Yoga every morning.
Elliot: Ugh, I can't do yoga -- all that deep breathing. I hate breathing. Except, you know......to live. Umm, do you drink?

She's so awkward its funny. lol


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## ffemt8978 (Feb 19, 2008)

Dr. Kelso (speaking to J.D.), "I just pronounced your patient."
J.D. "He died"
Dr. Kelso, walking away, "I hope so otherwise that autopsy is going to be a real :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:."


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## EMTBandit (Feb 21, 2008)

I just saw this one. Turk, J.D., and Carla are talking about the new girl J.D. just met when the todd walks in.

Carla: Oh relax bambi, Turk's just mad because he didn't get to date many sexy young black women in his day.

Todd: Well at least he married one.

Carla: Todd im not black.

Todd: Yeah right, and im not straight.


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## NRNCEMT (Feb 22, 2008)

I couldn't just hog the scrubness!!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=scrubs&search_type=


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## Jon (Mar 6, 2008)

The musical episode was definitaly funny... and something different.


I'm just upset that it is ending... what will I do. -  - I only watch it on DVD anyway, though.


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## Airway Junkie (Mar 9, 2008)

*Kelso:* "Do you know how many patients I ignored to get the high score? People died!"


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## fma08 (Mar 13, 2008)

Turk: Irrelavent! We're not having a daughter!

Elliot: Hey! How's it goin'?
Sean: It's good. Yeah. It's good... You, um...you have a little something on your cheek.
Elliot: Oh, um! Yeah, that! That's just, uh... That's poo.
Sean: Oh. Well, I mean, you know-you know what they say, right? Because...everybody poops. I mean, I just did, earlier - not this second, but...down there, I poo-I pooped.
Elliot: Wow. I think that is so cool that you can just talk about it!
Sean: Really? Okay. Yeah, I love to poop.

Dr. Cox: together the two of you make one barely passable doctor....... slash labradoodle

haha


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