# Pt. Interaction



## DillR (Jul 13, 2011)

We all know our job Is 50% healthcare provider, 50% talk show host. I find myself having a bank of jokes/small talk for different pts. (those in good humor I might make a joke about only dropping pts in days that end in y, current events with older people, Justin Bieber :glare: with the youngn's. I was wondering if anyone else had stock jokes, stories, etc. That are pt. Appropriate for those oh so long transports.


-Doc
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## firecoins (Jul 13, 2011)

DillR said:


> We all know our job Is 50% healthcare provider, 50% talk show host. I find myself having a bank of jokes/small talk for different pts. (those in good humor I might make a joke about only dropping pts in days that end in y, current events with older people, Justin Bieber :glare: with the youngn's. I was wondering if anyone else had stock jokes, stories, etc. That are pt. Appropriate for those oh so long transports.
> 
> 
> -Doc
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



I havent dropped anyone since yesterday/Friday, it is Friday.  

For Pulse OX , give me the finger.

Picking a pt out of ER to triage nurse. I give a full report on a patient and the inform me my stretcher is empty.  I than admit I forgot my patient. Than they realoze I am there to pick someone up if they haven't already.


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## mike1390 (Jul 13, 2011)

....I like to tell all my pts that its my first day... no matter what im doing, of course I tell them I'm kidding but its funny to see the initial reaction. works best like this 

pt:"wow this is my first time in an ambulance"
me:"yeah me too"
pt:"what!" 
me:"nothing, can I see this arm I'm gunna need to start an IV"
pt: "yeah sure does it hurt? Iv never gotten one before"
me:"no idea, this is my first day"
pt:WTF!!!!!


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## Lifeguards For Life (Jul 13, 2011)

I know a certain medic, who is not L4L,:unsure crosses fingers behind back as he lies to emtlife) who turned the vent fan on and threatened to suck all the air out of the ambulance if a certain drunk patient did not behave.


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## JPINFV (Jul 13, 2011)

mike1390 said:


> ....I like to tell all my pts that its my first day... no matter what im doing, of course I tell them I'm kidding but its funny to see the initial reaction. works best like this
> 
> pt:"wow this is my first time in an ambulance"
> me:"yeah me too"
> ...










Ok, now I might have finally found something obscure.


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## mike1390 (Jul 13, 2011)

Hu?


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## DillR (Jul 14, 2011)

I used both the first day and "give me the finger" bits. Both got laughs 
Thanks for your help you fine, fine people.


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## adamjh3 (Jul 14, 2011)

Jokes at the partner's expense are usually pretty good, when situationally appropriate.

Can't forget the "...but I did stay at the Holiday Inn Express last night."


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## usafmedic45 (Jul 14, 2011)

"....the blue thing's connected to my...wristwatch.  Uh oh." - Dr. Nick Riviera


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## DesertMedic66 (Jul 14, 2011)

A car swerved infront of us causing my partner to miss a turn. I said loudly from the back of the rig with the patient "geeze, do we need to stop and get directions?!" 

The patient laughed.......my partner punched me


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## EMSrush (Jul 14, 2011)

Before starting an IV on a nervous patient, I'll say:

Ok, now just close your eyes...

.... and I'm going to do the same...


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## Lifeguards For Life (Jul 14, 2011)

EMSrush said:


> Before starting an IV on a nervous patient, I'll say:
> 
> Ok, now just close your eyes...
> 
> .... and I'm going to do the same...



i let some of my druggie patients start their own iv's.


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## Epi-do (Jul 14, 2011)

Lifeguards For Life said:


> I know a certain medic, who is not L4L,:unsure crosses fingers behind back as he lies to emtlife) who turned the vent fan on and threatened to suck all the air out of the ambulance if a certain drunk patient did not behave.



LOL!  This is great!


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## EMSrush (Jul 14, 2011)

Lifeguards For Life said:


> i let some of my druggie patients start their own iv's.



How weird. We were just having a discussion about that at work today. They were arguing over whether it was an appropriate thing to do, and under which circumstances.

I've had a user laugh at me and tell me that I'm WAAAYY slower than they are.... lol..


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## Lifeguards For Life (Jul 14, 2011)

EMSrush said:


> How weird. We were just having a discussion about that at work today. They were arguing over whether it was an appropriate thing to do, and under which circumstances.
> 
> I've had a user laugh at me and tell me that I'm WAAAYY slower than they are.... lol..



Why not, they are good about it, and they are usually not ones to complain


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## emtchick171 (Jul 15, 2011)

To some drunk or frequent flyer patients only seeking pain meds...

Place an EKG electrode on their arm or forehead and tell them to press the silver button when they feel pain. 

Or

Take a tegaderm and place some lubricating jelly on it and tell them it's "a new and improved Narca-Jelly patch"


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## akflightmedic (Jul 15, 2011)

before starting an IV say "dont worry, I am so good, I never feel a thing"....then smile.


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## fast65 (Jul 15, 2011)

Considering that most patients think I'm 12, I like to tell them that it's "bring your kid to work day"...some find it funnier than others 



Sent from my mobile command center


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## medichopeful (Jul 17, 2011)

emtchick171 said:


> To some drunk or frequent flyer patients only seeking pain meds...
> 
> Place an EKG electrode on their arm or forehead and tell them to press the silver button when they feel pain.
> 
> ...



Not cool


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## CAPilot55 (Jul 18, 2011)

Ya not cool at all. Doesn't sound very professional at all.  Not even in good taste.




emtchick171 said:


> To some drunk or frequent flyer patients only seeking pain meds...
> 
> Place an EKG electrode on their arm or forehead and tell them to press the silver button when they feel pain.
> 
> ...


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## Anthony7994 (Sep 5, 2011)

My EMT instructor told me that about ten years ago they carried a clipboard with random x-ray shots in it. So, when a drunk thought the ambulance sounded better than a squad car and complained after a scuffle about possibly having a broken hand or wrist (which they obviously did not) he'd tell them to step up to his portable x-ray machine. He'd have them place their hand on it, make a "Vvzzzzzzzoooo" sound, and pull out a perfectly ok x-ray and tell them they were fine. :rofl:


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## Squad-6 (Oct 5, 2011)

When asked if I am good at something or if I have done it before I answer "No but I did watch a video about it once".

As far as IV I sometimes answer "Don't worry I use to stick myself all the time...."


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## Leafmealone (Oct 5, 2011)

Every time I hand a patient the consent form, I say "This is just a paper stating that I didn't kidnap you."

Always get a smile.


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## bigbaldguy (Oct 5, 2011)

I have a bunch of x rays from when my dog fell out of a tree. I carry them around in my backpack but so far the opportunity to use them hasn't presented itself.


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## mycrofft (Oct 5, 2011)

*OK OK Big, what was your dog doing in a tree?*

(drum shot):rofl:


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## mycrofft (Oct 5, 2011)

*"Fred and Ginger"*

Older female pts, enroute:
"See, you're like Ginger Rogers and my driver's like Fred Astaire; he's driving all over the place, and you're keeping up, only backwards and belted to a sixty pound litter!".

I suppose there is a DWTS analog...).


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