# Be Advised: You will need to stage.



## Stephanie. (Apr 14, 2010)

There we were, sitting on the couch, watching yet another classic episode of Jerry Springer, we never even found out if he was the father... 

Tones drop. Throw on the boots, tuck in our shirts and out the door we go. Jump in the unit & hit the highway. Dispatch gave to us, Assault, PD is enroute, Be advised: You will need to stage. 

At that moment I begin thinking to myself. .WTF this could have atleast waited until after the paternity test!! We request additional information from Central... When they say..  32 y/o male subject was hit in the head with a frying pan..  Wow. Just Wow.


 After the wife was cuffed and we made scene, the male subject is found laying on the ground, with a small laceration on his head... 

Be advised: He still had his beer in had. 

After we bandaged him up, the 'other' woman came out of the bedroom.. 

It was as if our show had never been inturrupted. Most amusing call of my career!


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## mycrofft (Apr 14, 2010)

*HA! Right up there with the woman with her hand in the insinkerator...*

Naked.
Across the room from the phone she used to call it in.
Unhurt.h34r:


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## firecoins (Apr 14, 2010)

Ok so I had to post. Now what?


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## mycrofft (Apr 14, 2010)

*firecoins, tag you're it.*


......
I've treated two GSW pts who were shot in the leg or buttock due to a wife trying to shoot them in the groin, then the wound was tx and the pt brought in by the erstwhile girlfriend. One was a .357 (buttock, cavity as big as my fist almost), the other was a through/through small cal missing all vital structures but not responding to H2O2 and bacitrain on qtips he pulled all the way through.
Paid us in small bills before the deputies grabbed him.


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## mycrofft (Apr 15, 2010)

*Ah, the original long version of the naked Insinkerator lady.*

http://www.emtlife.com/showthread.php?t=8217&highlight=insinkerator


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## lightsandsirens5 (Apr 16, 2010)

firecoins said:


> Ok so I had to post. Now what?


 
Post as in stage I think.....


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## Shishkabob (Apr 16, 2010)

Well.. it IS Cleburne...  The whole of Johnson county is like that, really ^_^


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## Chimpie (Apr 16, 2010)

firecoins said:


> Ok so I had to post. Now what?





lightsandsirens5 said:


> Post as in stage I think.....



Thread title changed to end confusion.


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## Stephanie. (Apr 16, 2010)

Well we boarded the man, treated his head injury, & transported.. the wife was cuffed and hauled off.. Just brought a lil excitement to our shift.. Other woman had no injuries.. so Thats a wrap..


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## mycrofft (Apr 17, 2010)

*Move along, folks, nothing left to see here...*

So how long before they released Tiger fomr the ER?


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## SES4 (Apr 17, 2010)

mycrofft said:


> So how long before they released Tiger fomr the ER?



LOL.  Good one.  

Seriously it's calls like this that confirm that a call I get or will get in NJ is basically the same as a call in TX, TN, MA, etc.


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## LngJohnSlvr (Apr 18, 2010)

We got a patient in the Emergency Department the other day... the Medics told us they found the woman upside down in a fireplace (her bed was pressed up against it). Her boyfriend and her were enjoying some rather acrobatic sexual activity when she slipt down between the bed and the fireplace... the couple was unable to get her out. The boyfriend, in his attempts to extricate her, somehow broke her ankle. In the pain, she pooped, and because she was standing on her head, became covered in her own feces, apparently the shock of that made her urinate... again, all over her face... the boyfriend then refused to help her and called 911... the woman was treated for a head lac and the broken ankle... 

I love people...


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## LngJohnSlvr (Apr 18, 2010)

PS... boyfriend never came to get her after she was seen...


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## Stephanie. (Apr 18, 2010)

LngJohnSlvr said:


> We got a patient in the Emergency Department the other day... the Medics told us they found the woman upside down in a fireplace (her bed was pressed up against it). Her boyfriend and her were enjoying some rather acrobatic sexual activity when she slipt down between the bed and the fireplace... the couple was unable to get her out. The boyfriend, in his attempts to extricate her, somehow broke her ankle. In the pain, she pooped, and because she was standing on her head, became covered in her own feces, apparently the shock of that made her urinate... again, all over her face... the boyfriend then refused to help her and called 911... the woman was treated for a head lac and the broken ankle...
> 
> I love people...





OHH That's great!


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## LngJohnSlvr (Apr 18, 2010)

It was pretty interesting... the Medics were less than impressed with life at that point!


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## nomofica (Apr 20, 2010)

LngJohnSlvr said:


> We got a patient in the Emergency Department the other day... the Medics told us they found the woman upside down in a fireplace (her bed was pressed up against it). Her boyfriend and her were enjoying some rather acrobatic sexual activity when she slipt down between the bed and the fireplace... the couple was unable to get her out. The boyfriend, in his attempts to extricate her, somehow broke her ankle. In the pain, she pooped, and because she was standing on her head, became covered in her own feces, apparently the shock of that made her urinate... again, all over her face... the boyfriend then refused to help her and called 911... the woman was treated for a head lac and the broken ankle...
> 
> I love people...



I love this job.


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## LngJohnSlvr (Apr 20, 2010)

Yes, and somehow, even after seeing this I _still_ want to be a medic...


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## nomofica (Apr 21, 2010)

Good man... or woman.


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## LngJohnSlvr (Apr 23, 2010)

nomofica said:


> Good man... or woman.



Man... lol


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## CAOX3 (Apr 24, 2010)

LngJohnSlvr said:


> We got a patient in the Emergency Department the other day... the Medics told us they found the woman upside down in a fireplace (her bed was pressed up against it). Her boyfriend and her were enjoying some rather acrobatic sexual activity when she slipt down between the bed and the fireplace... the couple was unable to get her out. The boyfriend, in his attempts to extricate her, somehow broke her ankle. In the pain, she pooped, and because she was standing on her head, became covered in her own feces, apparently the shock of that made her urinate... again, all over her face... the boyfriend then refused to help her and called 911... the woman was treated for a head lac and the broken ankle...
> 
> I love people...



Ummm extrication and decontamination is the fire departments job.


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## Lt.Col.Warren (May 5, 2010)

*Can you repeat that dispatch?!*

We were sitting in the house when the tones went off, we were to be dispatched to the local middle school. When we got in the rescue, dispatch updated us to the situation and said there was a "14 y/o male c/o... genital pain. We get on scene and walk into the office to find this young man sitting in a wheel chair holding himself. We asked if he was alright, to which he replied(in the highest pitched voice I have ever heard), "I'm fine." It turns out he was playing a new game called meat checking, in which guys punch each other in the balls until one of them can't take it anymore. I guess our pt. lost. LOL. His mom showed up, so we gave him an ice pack, got back in the truck, and laughed all the way back to the station. Sometimes you just have to wonder what people are thinking.


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