# You know your an EMT....



## pvfd62med22 (Sep 26, 2009)

I glanced through and did not really see one of these.. so I'm posting one...

* Your personal jump kit is better equipped than the one in your ambulance.
* You can tell it's a full moon without looking at the calendar.
* You prefer a Code Blue to a Code Brown any day.
* You've ever Code Surfed.
* It doesn't matter if you're black or white, as long as you've got good rhythm.
* You know what the world looks like at 3:30 in the morning.
* You drive past a house and say "Oh, that's where we had that __________ call."
* You love critiquing how they do CPR on TV shows.
* You know what "treat with high flow diesel" means.
* You know how to treat a patient with LSD.
* You drive past the ER ambulance bay just to see who's busy today.
* You believe coffee is one of the food groups.
* You catch yourself eating twice as fast as everyone else when off duty.
* You believe full spinal precautions were invented for obnoxious drunks.
* You find humor in other people's stupidity.
* Your paycheck depends on the aforementioned stupidity of others.
* You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
* Your favorite hallucinogenic is exhaustion.
* You've ever responded to a call where the directions include, "...turn off the paved road.".
* You've ever thought OD instead of BBQ when asked to get the charcoal.
* You've sworn that you were going to have "DNR" tattooed on your chest.
* You automatically multiply by 3 the answer to the question, "How many drinks did you have tonight?".
* You've ever used an NPA to determine a patient's unresponsiveness.
* You realize that the biggest difficulty in your job is that, on a daily basis, you try to reverse the process of natural selection.
* You can drink a cup of coffee and go straight to bed.
* You can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio.
* You plan your weekends off a year in advance.
* You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.
* You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
* Your family members have to have a fever of 105 or be missing a limb with active bleeding to obtain your sympathy.
* You've ever held a 14 gauge needle over someone's vein and said, "Now there's gonna be a little poke.".
* You've ever cursed out anyone for Armor-Alling the seats to make them look nice.
* Your idea of foreplay is a priapism sweep or a check for wetness.
* Your favorite assessment question is, "What changed after two weeks to make this an emergency at 0300?".
* You hear someone mutter the words "Ambulance Driver" in your direction and you immediately black out due to rage.
* You believe Murphy and his law can go straight to the seventh circle of hell.
* You've made crude puns and jokes at the most horrific scenes imaginable while others look at you and your crew with shock.
* You meet someone for the first time, and instead of looking them in the eyes, you look at possible venous access, "just in case".
* A relative is in the local ER, and you drive to the hospital, but can't figure out where anyone but the ambulances park.
* You say "en route" over the phone, off duty.
* You can sleep soundly through sirens, screaming, dispatch tones, and other various noises... until you jolt awake because your unit number is called.
* You recognize your frequent flyers not by name, but by address.
* You hear sirens, and you can immediately differentiate between the source of the sirens: EMS, PD, or FD.
* You can't decide on your reaction to getting a call: "Hell yeah" or "God damn it".
* You freak people out in their POVs by yelling out "Clear Right!" at any given intersection
* Unconscious means cooperative.
* Welfare week plus full moon equals you aren't getting any sleep.
* You've put lido jelly on your partner's toothbrush late at night for :censored::censored::censored::censored:s and giggles.
* You've ever left your ambulance door unlocked at a hospital and come out to some horrible joke having been played on you (someone turning your sirens on, someone using a spine board strap to tie your inside door handles together, etc.).
* You've talked about your crews' dinner plans over a DOA.


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## fiddlesticks (Sep 26, 2009)

lol i like the DNR one


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## EMSLaw (Sep 26, 2009)

pvfd62med22 said:


> * Your favorite assessment question is, "What changed after two weeks to make this an emergency at 0300?".



Ugh.  Tell me about it.


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## MIkePrekopa (Sep 26, 2009)

LOL, I love it. Sent it to some friends in EMT-B class... i have a few down, and im still in school... is that bad ?


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## JPINFV (Sep 26, 2009)

You've seen lists like these before and groaned the first time you saw it.


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## TgerFoxMark (Sep 28, 2009)

You have seen this list, and variants over the last 3 years, and laugh at them the same, because you still have your sense of humor.


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## MIkePrekopa (Sep 28, 2009)

Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard...


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## medicp94dao (Sep 29, 2009)

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Its 3am and i needed the laugh after the day i had......


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## judoka5446 (Oct 8, 2009)

"You love critiquing how they do CPR on TV shows."

I drive my girlfriend crazy with this one haha.


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## MCGLYNN_EMTP (Oct 8, 2009)

Same here...my g/f HATES when I comment on a show doing something wrong......shocking asystole...my favorite..


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## oneluv79 (Oct 8, 2009)

That was great!!!....lol....


oneluv79:lol:


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## BigBoy (Oct 8, 2009)

pvfd62med22 said:


> * You know what the world looks like at 3:30 in the morning.
> 
> * Your favorite assessment question is, "What changed after two weeks to make this an emergency at 0300?".



dont you just love being a taxi and 3 in the morning....


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## judoka5446 (Oct 8, 2009)

"You love critiquing how they do CPR on TV shows."

Me: Hey Babe, You see that guy doing CPR on LOST?
GF: I know I know, he's doing it wrong...
Me: Yea, hes pounding on his chest with one hand and...
GF: I dont care...
Me: And his ventilations wouldnt be sufficient to...
GF: I dont care...
Me: And with his head tilted at that angle there'd be no way....
GF: You're sleeping on the couch tonight.
Me: :sad:


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## oneluv79 (Oct 9, 2009)

judoka5446 said:


> "You love critiquing how they do CPR on TV shows."
> 
> Me: Hey Babe, You see that guy doing CPR on LOST?
> GF: I know I know, he's doing it wrong...
> ...



LMAO!!! but that is it for real.....lolololol

oneluv79


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## EMT11KDL (Oct 9, 2009)

MCGLYNN_EMTP said:


> Same here...my g/f HATES when I comment on a show doing something wrong......shocking asystole...my favorite..





judoka5446 said:


> "You love critiquing how they do CPR on TV shows."
> 
> Me: Hey Babe, You see that guy doing CPR on LOST?
> GF: I know I know, he's doing it wrong...
> ...



That just happened to me when we were watching "Trauma"


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## RescueYou (Oct 13, 2009)

* Your personal jump kit is better equipped than the one in your ambulance.
_hahaha yup_
* You can tell it's a full moon without looking at the calendar.
_oh yessss_
* You drive past the ER ambulance bay just to see who's busy today.
_haha gotta admit...i've done it lol_
* You find humor in other people's stupidity.
_hey, someone's gotta laugh!_
* Your paycheck depends on the aforementioned stupidity of others.
_people's stupidity = my job security_
* You've sworn that you were going to have "DNR" tattooed on your chest.
_yep yep yep_
* You automatically multiply by 3 the answer to the question, "How many drinks did you have tonight?".
_i was thinking more along 4 or 5 times lol_
* You've ever used an NPA to determine a patient's unresponsiveness.
_oh too funny...i normally use an OPA tho_
* You can drink a cup of coffee and go straight to bed.
_yup_
* You plan your weekends off a year in advance.
_and still dont get my hopes up_
* You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
_along with Valium for other nights_
* You've ever held a 14 gauge needle over someone's vein and said, "Now there's gonna be a little poke.".
_rofl_
* You've ever cursed out anyone for Armor-Alling the seats to make them look nice.
_i thought i was going to kill them!!!!!!_
* Your favorite assessment question is, "What changed after two weeks to make this an emergency at 0300?".
_i have actually asked that lol_
* You believe Murphy and his law can go straight to the seventh circle of hell.
_yessssssss_
* You've made crude puns and jokes at the most horrific scenes imaginable while others look at you and your crew with shock.
_oh that is so much fun_
* A relative is in the local ER, and you drive to the hospital, but can't figure out where anyone but the ambulances park.
_been there and done that lol_
* You say "en route" over the phone, off duty.
_that and 10-4_
* You can sleep soundly through sirens, screaming, dispatch tones, and other various noises... until you jolt awake because your unit number is called.
_YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!_
* You hear sirens, and you can immediately differentiate between the source of the sirens: EMS, PD, or FD.
_ah hell...i can differentiate b/w which station the truck is from as well!! lol_
* You can't decide on your reaction to getting a call: "Hell yeah" or "God damn it".
_many times lol_
* You've ever left your ambulance door unlocked at a hospital and come out to some horrible joke having been played on you (someone turning your sirens on, someone using a spine board strap to tie your inside door handles together, etc.).
_beware of packaging peanuts_
* You've talked about your crews' dinner plans over a DOA.
_yup....and vice versa_


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## Nova (Oct 25, 2009)

great thread ^_^


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## firecoins (Oct 25, 2009)

you know you an EMT when your posting on EMT Life. _drumshot please_

you know your an EMT when your posting in a thread about knowing your an EMT.

you know you an EMT when your weekend starts on Monday.  :unsure:

You know your an EMT when personal trauma bag was originally packed 10 years ago and has yet to be used.  :glare:

You know you an EMT when half naked ugly people answering the door at the 5am sick job no longer bothers you.  

You know your an EMT when you take the patient to a hospital near where you want to eat lunch at.  

you know your an EMT when you take a recert class.  

you know your an EMT when your car has a back up alarm and a back up alarm cancel button.  

you know your paid EMT when you make fun of the oversized monstrosities volunteers call ambulances.  They need a CDL to be cleared as a driver.  

You know your an EMT when you look to pick up shifts where your vacationing.


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## Steffah (Dec 7, 2009)

Oh my god, all so funny. And so true, and I'm not even an EMT, I'm still a student o.o


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## RescueYou (Dec 8, 2009)

EMT11KDL said:


> That just happened to me when we were watching "Trauma"



HAHAHAHAHA 
1. I agree. I enjoy Trauma sometimes, but I drive my friends crazy.

2. I have kicked my fiance out onto the couch for being more of a critic than I (he is a EMT-P/FF already)

3. Yes...you know you are an EMT when you get on here to talk about knowing you are an EMT. lol


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## Trauma's Mistress (Dec 19, 2009)

Very  funny  and   yet also  true stuff.   The Two weeks assessment change at  0300  is   funny,  and couldnt be more true !


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## Medic115 (Jan 29, 2010)

medicp94dao said:


> HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Its 3am and i needed the laugh after the day i had......



LOL, I feel your pain!!!


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## njff/emt (Feb 3, 2010)

You can tell what type of call its gonna be just by hearing the address


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## EMSBLONDIE24 (Feb 13, 2010)

You're an EMT when...
Meals are considered optional and if it can't be eaten one handed, it's not considered edible. 
You find the rocking motion and the screaming of the sirens soothing and can nap while your partner floors it to a call.
Partial nudity is considered fully clothed.
You pull the shopping cart though the grocery store instead of pushing it.
Your red radio accents your black cocktail dress. 
Quiet kids scare you.
You want your future DNR order pinned to the front of your T-shirt.
You've done CPR to the beat of "Stayin Alive"
You've "ridden" someone or know surfing can take place in the winter.
Linda Blair style vomit no longer bothers you.
You see your partner more than your SO.
You decide moving into the station would be a smart move and save you gas costs.


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## pvfd62med22 (Feb 13, 2010)

You're an EMT when...
Meals are considered optional and if it can't be eaten one handed, it's not considered edible. 
And always where a vest that you can take off on arrival of scene to show your nice white uniform shirt after trying to eat and drive at the same time..lol

You find the rocking motion and the screaming of the sirens soothing and can nap while your partner floors it to a call.
so true..

Partial nudity is considered fully clothed.
LOL..

You pull the shopping cart though the grocery store instead of pushing it.
When we have time to stop at the store:sad:

Your red radio accents your black cocktail dress. 

Quiet kids scare you.
Yup everytime

You want your future DNR order pinned to the front of your T-shirt.
True again

You've done CPR to the beat of "Stayin Alive"
The only true song to do CPR too... _(my instructor said so)_

You've "ridden" someone or know surfing can take place in the winter.

Linda Blair style vomit no longer bothers you.

You see your partner more than your SO.
LOL

You decide moving into the station would be a smart move and save you gas costs.
So true.. 50 to 80hrs a week give or take a little:wacko


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## RescueYou (Feb 14, 2010)

You're an EMT when...
Meals are considered optional and if it can't be eaten one handed, it's not considered edible. 
hahahaha amen!!
You find the rocking motion and the screaming of the sirens soothing and can nap while your partner floors it to a call.
been there, done that lol
Partial nudity is considered fully clothed.
lol
You pull the shopping cart though the grocery store instead of pushing it.
welllll.....
Your red radio accents your black cocktail dress. 
black radio accented my red dress lol
Quiet kids scare you.
oh i know...
You want your future DNR order pinned to the front of your T-shirt.

You've done CPR to the beat of "Stayin Alive"
that's how we were taught in my first emt class!!!
You've "ridden" someone or know surfing can take place in the winter.
I got smacked once for sayin I rode someone's SO to the hospital...
Linda Blair style vomit no longer bothers you.
after awhile, no bodily fluids or excretions bother you
You see your partner more than your SO.
yup
You decide moving into the station would be a smart move and save you gas costs. rofl


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## MS Medic (Feb 23, 2010)

when the station tones in your dreams wake you up at three a.m. and you had to call dispatch on the phone to make sure it was a dream


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## armywifeemt (Apr 2, 2010)

The thing that makes this great for me is it goes both ways in my house...

I'm an EMT/FF, he's a soldier.. so I critique medical stuff, or diagnose illnesses portrayed on "medical" TV shows before they get to it... (Like the episode of grey's anatomy where they were trying to determine who killed the smoke inhalation patient by not realizing she had smoke inhalation.. I called it in under five minutes) and he gets annoyed... but when we watch war movies, or movies with guns in them.. he gripes about the gun not being what they say it was or firing too many rounds or blah blah blah... 

So the key here is to find something the girlfriend knows a lot about and watch a couple TV shows with that.. then when she starts in on it, you can say "Ha, you do it too, no more couch for me!!" 

Then again, she'll probably still win, and you'll end up on the couch again just for trying. 




judoka5446 said:


> "You love critiquing how they do CPR on TV shows."
> 
> Me: Hey Babe, You see that guy doing CPR on LOST?
> GF: I know I know, he's doing it wrong...
> ...


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## MrBrown (Apr 2, 2010)

> You find the rocking motion and the screaming of the sirens soothing and can nap while your partner floors it to a call.



I fell asleep on the way to a job on Saturday


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## firetender (Apr 3, 2010)

*Solve The Riddle!*



MrBrown said:


> I fell asleep on the way to a job on Saturday



If that was on a U.S. road you would have killed you and your partner.


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## armywifeemt (Apr 3, 2010)

I don't think he was driving, firetender. As much as I may not like some of the things he says, I am pretty sure he was probably in the passenger's seat.. No endangerment there. 

That said, if he was driving... EEEK


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## curt (Apr 13, 2010)

I'll argue with video games and movies where horrible CPR is preformed and the person still gets saved. 

-You know you're an EMT when you make an effort to get a good look at the monitor rhythm in the movies or TV.

- You know you're an EMT when you attempt to become the lead medic of a TV code by shouting orders at the screen.

 I do this constantly, especially after Paramedic classes. I'm usually like =O when a person at rest is showing a FUBAR rhythm, asystole gets shocked, or a supposedly seriously sick person (bad heart attack) shows a pretty normal rhythm. I know the latter CAN happen, but it's more common that it doesn't (plus they often make it seem like it's late stage, so there SHOULD be deepened Q's, super-elevated ST's, maybe inverted T's or P's, heart blocks, and all sorts of other ugliness).


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## EMSLaw (Apr 13, 2010)

Dude, you mean to tell me you can't shock asystole?  Who knew! 

I tried to explain this to a co-worker the other day.  She didn't believe me.  After all, they always do it on TV.


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## Dutch-EMT (Apr 13, 2010)

EMSLaw said:


> Dude, you mean to tell me you can't shock asystole?  Who knew!
> 
> I tried to explain this to a co-worker the other day.  She didn't believe me.  After all, they always do it on TV.



Yeah! And we didn't even talk about the paddles placed wrong...


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## Spirit (Apr 19, 2010)

hey, if it wasn't for the retards on tv we wouldn't have anything to laugh at/complain about haha


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## spike91 (Apr 27, 2010)

firecoins said:


> You know your an EMT when you take the patient to a hospital near where you want to eat lunch at.




AMEN. On those calls where they needed a WHAAAAmbulance, we strongly suggest one hospital because "it's your best bet," aka they're the nice ones who feed us oreos and gatorade instead of the quarter once chek sodas


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## nomofica (Apr 27, 2010)

Spirit said:


> hey, if it wasn't for the retards on tv we wouldn't have anything to laugh at/complain about haha



If we really are EMTs, we'd find anything we can laugh at/complain about.


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## emt8917 (Jun 3, 2010)

pvfd62med22 said:


> You're an EMT when...
> 
> You've done CPR to the beat of "Stayin Alive"
> The only true song to do CPR too... _(my instructor said so)_



Nah, it's actually when you've done CPR to "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen! 

PS: Just make sure you're not singing out loud.


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## jjesusfreak01 (Jun 3, 2010)

Man, when my prof told our class that you can't shock asystole everyone was like, "Wait, what?"

I am relatively sure that at least 90% of "defibrillations" on TV are done to patients in asystole.


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## EMSLaw (Jun 4, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> Man, when my prof told our class that you can't shock asystole everyone was like, "Wait, what?"
> 
> I am relatively sure that at least 90% of "defibrillations" on TV are done to patients in asystole.



In the old days, they used to pace asystole, IIRC.  Just to throw out a partial non sequitor.


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## anna (Jun 8, 2010)

So funny. ^_^


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## clibb (Jun 8, 2010)

- You know you're an EMT when your friends turn up the music in the car when you're trying to tell them about an "awesome" call that happened earlier that day.
- You know you're an EMT when you stop during a mission on Splinter Cell: Conviction just to look at the ambulance crew (in the game) doing CPR on a patient and critique it.
- You know you're an EMT when almost every damn application in your phone is either a medical application or dispatch application.
- You know you're an EMT when you have your patient's address' saved on your personal GPS because the one in the bus failed.
- You know you're an EMT when you walk into a sporting event and look for the nearest AED. 
- You know you're an EMT when you try to pick up chicks by talking about EMT class and some "crazy" stuff you've seen and done. (Never works).
- You know you're an EMT when you asses how you would do on people who get injured on TV.
- You know you're an EMT when your friends try to make a joke about an injury and you start arguing with them that it would NEVER work like that.


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## wolfwyndd (Jun 8, 2010)

when almost every damn application in your phone is either a medical application or dispatch application.

I actually programmed our local hospital contact numbers into my personal phone a couple of weeks ago because the phone in the medic died on a call.


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## Lt.Col.Warren (Jun 30, 2010)

Funny. The jump bag one is so true for me. Lol


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## usafmedic45 (Jun 30, 2010)

> I actually programmed our local hospital contact numbers into my personal phone a couple of weeks ago because the phone in the medic died on a call.



One of my old cellphones had them all programmed in there to begin with.  Hell, as it stands, my current phone 80+% of my contacts are work related between the different places I work.  

An exchange with my fiancee when we first started dating:
Her (waking up to see my the light on my phone blinking): "Why the hell do you have the Chicago NTSB Office phone number in your phone?" 
Me (half awake): "Huh?"
Her: "More importantly, why do you have a missed call from them?"
Me:  "Oh crap, give me that."


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## HelpmeHelpyou (Jul 27, 2010)

isnt another cpr song "Another one bites the dust"?


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## firecoins (Jul 27, 2010)

HelpmeHelpyou said:


> isnt another cpr song "Another one bites the dust"?



yes.  yes it is.


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## Steffah (Aug 1, 2010)

HelpmeHelpyou said:


> isnt another cpr song "Another one bites the dust"?



I thought it was "Stayin' Alive"?


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## Lucy212 (Sep 1, 2010)

Very funny. I've yet to achieve a few of them, but I have 50% down, still working on the other half.

~ L


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## KY_EMT (Sep 1, 2010)

wolfwyndd said:


> when almost every damn application in your phone is either a medical application or dispatch application.
> 
> I actually programmed our local hospital contact numbers into my personal phone a couple of weeks ago because the phone in the medic died on a call.



Definitely yeah!!!  You never know when you'll need the number on a call.


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## jjesusfreak01 (Sep 1, 2010)

KY_EMT said:


> Definitely yeah!!!  You never know when you'll need the number on a call.



I've seen medics pick up a phone in the hospital and dial dispatch from memory. Is that usual?


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## KY_EMT (Sep 2, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> I've seen medics pick up a phone in the hospital and dial dispatch from memory. Is that usual?



I would hope so.


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 2, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> I've seen medics pick up a phone in the hospital and dial dispatch from memory. Is that usual?



most medics who have been around awhile know the dispatch number.  Its truly not that hard to remember.


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## medicman90 (Sep 2, 2010)

spike91 said:


> AMEN. On those calls where they needed a WHAAAAmbulance, we strongly suggest one hospital because "it's your best bet," aka they're the nice ones who feed us oreos and gatorade instead of the quarter once chek sodas



I'm pretty sure you can go to jail for admitting that...

hospitals have been fined for giving crews perks like that too...

seriously...just take your oreos and gatorade and munchies and don't talk about it...

especially online


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## reaper (Sep 2, 2010)

There is nothing wrong with hospitals providing food and drink. No laws against it.

You ethically do not advise one hospital over another, unless it is a special circumstance( trauma,cva,OB, burns) You cannot go to jail for it.

Please have experience and knowledge, before making statements like that.


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## jjesusfreak01 (Sep 3, 2010)

You know you're an EMT...

When you feel the need to put passed out kids in the recovery position at the end of that big frat party


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## medicman90 (Sep 3, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> You know you're an EMT...
> 
> When you feel the need to put passed out kids in the recovery position at the end of that big frat party


 

I actually did that just the other week...


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 3, 2010)

medicman90 said:


> I actually did that just the other week...



was that before or after using a sharpie on there face


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## socalmedic (Sep 3, 2010)

after


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## abckidsmom (Sep 3, 2010)

You know you're an EMT when you get all the way to a long thread and no one has laughed at the spelling error in the title.


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 3, 2010)

abckidsmom said:


> You know you're an EMT when you get all the way to a long thread and no one has laughed at the spelling error in the title.



hahahahahaha wow i dont think anyone noticed it lol


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 3, 2010)

socalmedic said:


> after



haha, what did u draw on his/her face lol


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## firetender (Sep 3, 2010)

abckidsmom said:


> You know you're an EMT when you get all the way to a long thread and no one has laughed at the spelling error in the title.



Actually, after 60 posts it looks more like if you noticed, you couldn't be an EMT!


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 3, 2010)

firetender said:


> Actually, after 60 posts it looks more like if you noticed, you couldn't be an EMT!



haha, i think you are correct.. 

you might be an emt if you English sucks!!


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## Lifeguards For Life (Sep 4, 2010)

retracted..... grumpy and looking for a fight.


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 4, 2010)

Lifeguards For Life said:


> retracted..... grumpy and looking for a fight.



haha, i got the email of what you said... the funny thing is, i never noticed i did that lol

to your original post, if you read most of what people say, there are grammar errors...


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## Lifeguards For Life (Sep 4, 2010)

EMT11KDL said:


> haha, i got the email of what you said... the funny thing is, i never noticed i did that lol
> 
> to your original post, if you read most of what people say, there are grammar errors...



lol. didn't know there was an email. i also only read that post, and failed to read the rest of the thread.


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 4, 2010)

Lifeguards For Life said:


> lol. didn't know there was an email. i also only read that post, and failed to read the rest of the thread.



i wasn't just talking about this thread, 

i get an update email saying someone has posted in this thread. but it only shows the one that is posted right after the one you posted.


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## Lifeguards For Life (Sep 4, 2010)

EMT11KDL said:


> i wasn't just talking about this thread,
> 
> i get an update email saying someone has posted in this thread. but it only shows the one that is posted right after the one you posted.



Oh those emails. I had to figure out a way to stop those after my first few posts


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## EMT11KDL (Sep 4, 2010)

Lifeguards For Life said:


> Oh those emails. I had to figure out a way to stop those after my first few posts



yes those emails, well we better get back on topic before the Chimp gets mad


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## jjesusfreak01 (Sep 4, 2010)

EMT11KDL said:


> yes those emails, well we better get back on topic before the Chimp gets mad



Would hate for Chimpie to go apes**t on you...


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## himynameismj (Sep 4, 2010)

my fiance and i are both EMT's. The whole doing CPR wrong on TV usually sounds like...

Me: Haha, look at that guy. He's..
Her: He's doing CPR totally wrong.
Me: Wow, no OPA? no NPA?
Her: What an A*sh*le
Me: I know! There goes the Xiphoid process.
Her: Yep.. dumb sh*t.

Pretty entertaining. I like the list dude!


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## EMTEYE (Sep 17, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> Man, when my prof told our class that you can't shock asystole everyone was like, "Wait, what?"
> 
> I am relatively sure that at least 90% of "defibrillations" on TV are done to patients in asystole.



fine vfib lol


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## jjesusfreak01 (Sep 18, 2010)

EMTEYE said:


> fine vfib lol



I've been watching "Emergency" on Hulu, and they actually always get it right. They hook up the ECG, you can read it on the monitor, and then the doctor calls it what it is and orders treatments appropriately (or what was appropriate when the show came out).


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## TnF75 (Oct 13, 2010)

LOL ~ I'll Take a code blue over a code brown any day! Couldn't be more true!


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## emtJR86 (Oct 18, 2010)

*You know you're an EMT Student, when you read these and think...Damn I can't wait to do that.


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## foxfire (Oct 18, 2010)

emtJR86 said:


> *You know you're an EMT Student, when you read these and think...Damn I can't wait to do that.



or gee, I hope I don't get that!


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## lightsandsirens5 (Oct 19, 2010)

Well, I have done quite a few of those. The most recent was this evening. Got off shift, called home and informed my family "yea I just got off, sorry I'm late. Had a late transport. I'm enroute home." I didn't even realize I'd said that until the asked what I was talking about when I got home. :-S


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## FrostbiteMedic (Oct 20, 2010)

Speaking of code browns.....you know you're an emt when the patient who has suddenly went into arrest on you code browns all over the stretcher and all you can think is 'oh $h!*!, this is NOT going to be fun to clean up'


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## jjesusfreak01 (Oct 20, 2010)

frostbiteEMT said:


> Speaking of code browns.....you know you're an emt when the patient who has suddenly went into arrest on you code browns all over the stretcher and all you can think is 'oh $h!*!, this is NOT going to be fun to clean up'



I thought a code brown was when you are driving L&S to the hospital when a HEMS helicopter lands on your roof, a man in an orange jumpsuit with "Doctor" written on the back crashes through the back doors, grabs the patient, and disappears with the helicopter before you know what happened.


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## FrostbiteMedic (Oct 21, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> I thought a code brown was when you are driving L&S to the hospital when a HEMS helicopter lands on your roof, a man in an orange jumpsuit with "Doctor" written on the back crashes through the back doors, grabs the patient, and disappears with the helicopter before you know what happened.



I wanna work for that service! Not as a medical professional, no, but as the cameraman for the TV show. The ratings would go thru the roof lol


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## Lt.Col.Warren (Oct 22, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> I thought a code brown was when you are driving L&S to the hospital when a HEMS helicopter lands on your roof, a man in an orange jumpsuit with "Doctor" written on the back crashes through the back doors, grabs the patient, and disappears with the helicopter before you know what happened.



Really? I mean, your kidding right? Lol:lol:


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## WVEmt (Oct 22, 2010)

jjesusfreak01 said:


> I thought a code brown was when you are driving L&S to the hospital when a HEMS helicopter lands on your roof, a man in an orange jumpsuit with "Doctor" written on the back crashes through the back doors, grabs the patient, and disappears with the helicopter before you know what happened.



Little did the good "Doctor" know, this particular patient could not control his bowels. lol


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## sarweim (Oct 24, 2010)

When you use "military" time more often then civilian time... and it's easier.


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## kravturtle (Oct 25, 2010)

You approach an automatic door at the grocery store and look around for the button to push to get it to open.


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## C.T.E.M.R. (Oct 25, 2010)

I definitely have to say that with there being 50 + emergency vehicles spread throughout the villages in my town i can tell just about every single vehicle apart. Sad isn't it. My dad being a veteran in the FF field and i being ems, yeah we usually have a joke at any accident we come across. yeah i definitley need another hobby LOL!!


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## Lt.Col.Warren (Oct 26, 2010)

When you sit around the station hoping for a call, while everyone else prays the tones never go off.


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## C.T.E.M.R. (Oct 31, 2010)

When your P.O.V. is a fully stocked retired ambulance with lights/siren still intact. LOL j/k though one would make a nice camper or utility truck


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## FrostbiteMedic (Oct 31, 2010)

When you equate EMS with Earn Money Sleeping.....


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## FrostbiteMedic (Oct 31, 2010)

C.T.E.M.R. said:


> When your P.O.V. is a fully stocked retired ambulance with lights/siren still intact. LOL j/k though one would make a nice camper or utility truck


Would definately have to call a WHACKER alert on whoever did this, unless it was a "restoration" for shows.....


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## C.T.E.M.R. (Oct 31, 2010)

frost bite you are so right, i actually thought about buying an older caddy ambulance, because i love old cars ,  and then a freind of mine got the idea to buy a relativley new one and stock it, luckily he was broke. i laughed in his face when he said he wanted to do that.


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## FrostbiteMedic (Oct 31, 2010)

C.T.E.M.R. said:


> frost bite you are so right, i actually thought about buying an older caddy ambulance, because i love old cars ,  and then a freind of mine got the idea to buy a relativley new one and stock it, luckily he was broke. i laughed in his face when he said he wanted to do that.


Me and my old fire chief are working to restore a '66 Caddy.....I'm lovin every minute of it lol...


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## C.T.E.M.R. (Oct 31, 2010)

i dont know what is about 1966 but that is like the best year for cars ever, Got any pics of the caddy? id love to see em.


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## TgerFoxMark (Nov 5, 2010)

I did have a retired ambulance for a while 1992 Gmc Medium Duty... l/s intact but amber... i turned it into a tailgating rig for my coworkers, until i left the department...
I no longer work as an EMT... i now work in electronics. besides, my back couldnt take it any more. so the rig was sold to another guy at the service, who uses it for the same thing. its better than crushing it.


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