# Partner got mad at me. Was I wrong?



## Anjel (May 11, 2011)

Sooo... today we were transporting a lady from the hospital to a nursing home. 

She was about 58ish I think and had recently been trached. She had a history of schizophrenia and depression and a learning disability.

She was already crying when we walked in the room saying how scared she was and how she was nervous about the ride. 

Once we got in the back of the truck she was freaking out about every stop, bump, or turn. After I got her history wrote down she asked if I could hold her hand. Which I did for the remainder of the trip.

My partner told me I am a newbie and need to learn where to draw the line. He thinks I crossed some line by holding her hand. 

She was absolutely terrified and shaking and thats the only thing she needed me to do for her. I don't see anything wrong with it. He just really made me mad by saying I am a newbie and have a lot to learn.


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## ShotMedic (May 11, 2011)

I dont believe you were out of line, Somtimes holding a patients hands and letting them know you are there for them can be just what the medical director ordered. Always remember you are A Patients Advocate. You gotta think What if that was my mom? would i hold her hand??


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## HotelCo (May 11, 2011)

Did it benefit the patient? I think so. If that's the case, you did nothing wrong.


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## fast65 (May 11, 2011)

If your partner thinks that's crossing the line, then quite frankly, they're a moron. There's no harm in holding a patients hand, we're there to take care of them, and if we need to hold their hand to make them feel better then so be it. There's no harm in providing comfort to a scared patient.


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## medicstudent101 (May 11, 2011)

Sounds like he's the newbie. What he said was rubbish, you did nothing wrong. Keep up the good work. B)


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## BEorP (May 11, 2011)

I certainly wouldn't make a habit of holding every patient's hand, but I do not think you were wrong in this instance.


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## enjoynz (May 11, 2011)

Did your partner think you crossed the line because he was concerned for your safety, should the patient become aggressive,
or did he think you crossed the line by caring too much?
There is nothing wrong with holding a patient's hand, if they are concerned   or scared and have asked you to do so
..... it's called reassuring your patient!
Unless of course there are some weird laws in the US EMS, that says you are not to hold a patient's hand, which I would doubt?
I'd tell him to back off and stop being so high and mighty!


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## Anjel (May 11, 2011)

enjoynz said:


> Did your partner think you crossed the line because he was concerned for your safety, should the patient become aggressive,
> or did he think you crossed the line by caring too much?
> There is nothing wrong with holding a patient's hand, if they are concerned   or scared and have asked you to do so
> ..... it's called reassuring your patient!
> ...



Yea there was nothing dangerous about that pt. She was just scared.


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## ChorusD (May 11, 2011)

That just sounds like good paramedickin to me.  But really, check your textbooks.  Everyone that I've had mentions that a reassuring touch on the shoulder or in this case holding a pt's hand can be the most therapeutic thing you do for that pt.

If the pt's most acute "illness" is a fear of riding in an ambulance then that's something that you can treat.-_-


_edit:_ It's nice to see that there are some people still in this business that actually care about the people when there are so many that don't.


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## the_negro_puppy (May 11, 2011)

Holding hands is not in our protocols so we need med controls approval B)













































Your partner is an idiot.


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## DesertMedic66 (May 11, 2011)

You didn't do anything wrong. That was a good thing that you did. It seems a really good idea that you were in the back of the rig and not your partner.


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## bstone (May 11, 2011)

Your partner sucks. 

I had a female patient years ago with intractable leg pain. I was working BLS and we had no pain meds to give. All I could do was hold her hand, which she squeezed and didn't let go until we got her into the ER bed. She was one of the more memorable patients I've had.

Again, your partner sucks.


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## usalsfyre (May 11, 2011)

You did the right thing. You've grasped what one of the core principals of medicine is, relieve pain and suffering by whatever means you have available. If holding her hand helped her anxiety (i.e. suffering) then you did a darn fine job.

Your partner, on the other hand, is a d-bag who probably needs to look into something other than medicine as a career.


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## crazycajun (May 11, 2011)

I agree with all of the other posters. Compassion is a big thing in medical care. Your patient will always remember what you did for them and it will make their next trip easier. Thank you for being a GREAT MEDIC!


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## EMSrush (May 11, 2011)

There's nothing wrong with hand-holding for support, as long as you can get everything else done as needed. Tell your partner to explain how the support you provided your pt was problematic; I'd love to hear his rationale...


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## JPINFV (May 11, 2011)

Your partner is an idiot...


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## usalsfyre (May 11, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> Your partner is an idiot...



Any bets on whether he thinks code 3 response is important?


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## looker (May 11, 2011)

Not to repeat what everyone else said but you got an idiot for a partner.


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## MrBrown (May 11, 2011)

The fail is strong in your partner


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## feldy (May 12, 2011)

Some people in this field see their job as only technical and dont really see the humanistic part to it. I have had partners who will get what they need from the pt and that is it and not make contact (verbal or phsyical) with the pt for the rest of the trip.  Others ive worked with will talk to the pt along the way, even if it is a bit of a "its time to get your life in order talk," even so that is showing compasion also.

We dont need to hold everyones hand but every so often that is really all the pt needs. We sometimes can forget that a trip in an ambulance can be very scary for some people.


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## Akulahawk (May 12, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> Your partner is an idiot...


That's being kind. 


MrBrown said:


> The fail is strong in your partner


I agree... the fail is SERIOUSLY strong.

We have a box or bag or shelf full of medications. We have a box or bag or shelf full of needles, catheters, syringes, tubing, masks, and all sorts of odd gadgets all for the care of a patient. We also have hands. Our hands, we usually use to handle all that _stuff_ for doing patient care. Our hands can also help ease pain and relieve suffering... all because of the sensitivity of touch. Holding someone's hand, giving a little shoulder squeeze, or helping guide someone's hands to a hand-hold is all the medicine a person needs at that minute. And sometimes, you might just be able to _feel_ a patient becoming more agitated... and be better able to know when to respond defensively for you or protectively for them. 

You can attempt to provide care to someone that's hurt, scared, or angry. Or you can try to ease the hurt, soothe the scared, and calm the angry... and many, many times, you don't have to use a chemical to do it. Your hands can do that, even if you don't speak their language. The person that's not hurting as much, not scared as much, and is far less angry is much more likely to let you help. 

All because of knowing how to use your hands. 

That partner may have a Paramedic cert, but certainly does not know how to BE a Paramedic.


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## JPINFV (May 12, 2011)

Akulahawk said:


> That's being kind.



Ok, let me try this again. When Carlos Mencia came up with the "Dee Dee Dee" joke, he was thinking of Anjel1030's partner.

Edit:

I've found a picture of Anjel's partner online...


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## Akulahawk (May 12, 2011)

jpinfv said:


> ok, let me try this again. When carlos mencia came up with the "dee dee dee" joke, he was thinking of anjel1030's partner.
> 
> Edit:
> 
> I've found a picture of anjel's partner online...


direct hit!!!!


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## MikeyB (May 12, 2011)

WOW!!! yeah to beat a dead horse  your partner is an idiot !!!  i held the hand of PT while i was doing ride along's  part of patient care to help comfort the PT as best we can


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## MikeyB (May 12, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> Ok, let me try this again. When Carlos Mencia came up with the "Dee Dee Dee" joke, he was thinking of Anjel1030's partner.
> 
> Edit:
> 
> I've found a picture of Anjel's partner online...



hey!!!  i am the owner of a boston terrier and they are one of the most intelligent dogs on this planet !!!    

P.S.   understand the pic and i get the  joke!!  thats funny


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## the_negro_puppy (May 12, 2011)




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## cOmpressor (May 12, 2011)

You did the right thing, I've done it myself. You were not being "soft" or "new", you were doing your job.


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## Sasha (May 12, 2011)

I must cross the line often then, i will hold hands, sometimes without being asked. Ive also been known to run a hand through a patients hair. Touch shows them you care, caring makes them feel better. Your partner needs to gtfo of ems.


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## JPINFV (May 12, 2011)

I've even touched patient's hands without wearing gloves. I r teh daredevil.


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## Sasha (May 12, 2011)

JPINFV said:


> I've even touched patient's hands without wearing gloves
> . I r teh daredevil.



I hate taking students because i dont wear gloves unless theyre really groudy or there are body fluids or waste. or im dealing with open wounds. ive even taken a bgl with no gloves. Yet i drill "wear gloves!" into them so they do for school.


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## slb862 (May 12, 2011)

You absolutely did the right thing.  
I transported an elderly pt. from a nursing home, this pt. was CAO, was in 3rd degree block, and dying.  She had her DNR, DNI, no CPR, wanted nothing done.  Her family was hours away, and they were on their way.  I held her hand, stayed past my shift, until her family got there.  But, her family made it 10 minutes after she had died.  I will never forget her and the emotional conversation I had with her will stick with me for the rest of my life.  I would do it again, and probably will.  I did a good deed that day, and I felt sad, yet honored that I was with her.  This is a lesson that no one or any book can teach you.  You know where this comes from.  Either you have it or you don't.  You have it!!  Keep it.


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## Sandog (May 12, 2011)

I was taught to treat all patients as though they were family. For elderly woman, I ask myself, what if this was my mom?


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## Anjel (May 12, 2011)

Thanks guys. 

I really felt that was the best thing I could do for my patient at that time.

What if it was a child? I am sure my partner wouldn't hesitate to calm them. Idk though lol

Just because their needs aren't medical doesn't mean that's where my job ends.


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## Shishkabob (May 12, 2011)

Man, I can't tell you how many hands I've held, shoulders I've held, or shoudlers Ive let patients cry in to in this job.  It's part of it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


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## jjesusfreak01 (May 13, 2011)

I have held hands on 911 and IFT calls where I was assisting or attending. I've never had anyone criticize me for doing it and I would probably chew them out if they did. If your partner believes that holding a patients hand isn't a part of our job, they need to have a long conversation with Firetender about our roles in the field.


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## rescue99 (May 13, 2011)

Anjel1030 said:


> My partner told me I am a newbie and need to learn where to draw the line. He thinks I crossed some line by holding her hand. .



You're partner has some personal reasons for not wanting to give a hoot but, that isn't your problem. You do the right (albiet, a choice) thing and let him be the ars!


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## firecoins (May 13, 2011)

Anjel1030 said:


> Sooo... today we were transporting a lady from the hospital to a nursing home.
> 
> She was about 58ish I think and had recently been trached. She had a history of schizophrenia and depression and a learning disability.
> 
> ...



You were not worng. I have held the hands of scared patients before.  It helps calm them down. Thats a good thing.


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## RanchoEMT (May 13, 2011)

Anjel1030 said:


> Sooo... today we were transporting a lady from the hospital to a nursing home.
> 
> She was about 58ish I think and had recently been trached. She had a history of schizophrenia and depression and a learning disability.
> 
> ...


In the words of Alfred Hitchcock, ":censored::censored::censored::censored: That Fool!"


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## medicstudent101 (May 13, 2011)

Chuck Norris will deal with him promptly.


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## Outbac1 (May 13, 2011)

Medicine isn't always about the drugs and procedures. Sometimes the best medicine we have is a sympathetic ear, a kind word and a gentle touch. 
 You appear to have learned this lesson early and have left your partner behind.


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## Queen0Hearts (May 15, 2011)

I am simply in class and several of my classmates are already "hard" to the pt's.. They try to tell me that because I am not I am not going to make a good paramedic. If I had a famliy member in an emergency, I would rather YOU take care of them than a "hard" paramedic that was good only at the medical part of their job.. Keep up the good work "noobie"


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## JPINFV (May 15, 2011)

Anjel, I just took the time to ask Dr. Cox his thoughts on your partner. According to him, your partner is...

[youtube]WrjwaqZfjIY[/youtube]


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## Anjel (May 15, 2011)

Queen0Hearts said:


> I am simply in class and several of my classmates are already "hard" to the pt's.. They try to tell me that because I am not I am not going to make a good paramedic. If I had a famliy member in an emergency, I would rather YOU take care of them than a "hard" paramedic that was good only at the medical part of their job.. Keep up the good work "noobie"



Aww thanks  That actually means a lot. And it was your first post! So welcome lol

And JP...

I admire your skills in GIF's, youtube videos, and other random pictures. 

Truly a talent lol

LOVE IT!


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## Queen0Hearts (May 15, 2011)

TY! I was looking for a place other EMT's would be to answer questions and give a word of encouragement..


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## Anjel (May 15, 2011)

Queen0Hearts said:


> TY! I was looking for a place other EMT's would be to answer questions and give a word of encouragement..



This is a good site. but along with the encouragement people here aren't afraid to tell you how it is and kick your butt if you need it.

I spend way too much time on here but it is very helpful and I have made some good friends on here.


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## BigPoppa (May 15, 2011)

On one of my clinicals, I was told "Our job is to be kind to people, with a little medicine thrown in."

You did nothing wrong. Your partner is possibly a jerk.


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## Aidey (May 16, 2011)

Sometimes the best thing you can do is comfort a patient. The only time I personally run into a problem with holding a patient's hand is when there are medical things that truly need to be done and you are tied up. In those cases it just takes practice balancing between the two. If you have NIBP a 'trick' I've found is to hold their hand while it takes. It puts their arm in the right position (and keeps it there), allows me to evaluate vitals and reassess, and also gives the patient a minute of comfort.


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## emt seeking first job (May 17, 2011)

*You did nothing wrong with the patient.*

If someone tells you something just say thank you and let it go.

More experienced people will say things like that.

It is not so much about what they say but how you to react to it.

Dont' complain, explain or apologize.

Just bide your time until you have been there long enough where people will not intervene like that.


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## ClaymoreCharlie (May 19, 2011)

You did great work.  I have done that a time or two, but only for the geriatrics and a few pediatric patients as well.

Of course, on the opposite end of the "appropriateness spectrum", I also had an early 30ish female psych patient touch my leg when I was manually taking a blood pressure, and she also kept telling me how much I look like Brad Pitt (VERY WRONG, I look nothing like him) and how she'd like to take me out with her friend.  All this while her husband followed us.

Needless to say, she got some verbal judo, and the rest of her pressures were by palpation.

Point of the story, reassuring touches or hand-holding may be indicated, and as long as used in the appropriate case, you should be just fine.


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## firetender (May 20, 2011)

*Touch is Medicine*

Your partner wasn't an idiot because an idiot does not choose the box he's stuck in. Your partner is lazy. Were he to truly want to be a good medic he would take the time to learn how human interaction is capable of supercharging every intervention you have in your truck.

_*Perhaps you are learning that your primary role in the back of an ambulance is to MOBILIZE the defenses of the patient to begin their own healing process.  *_

FIRST, you must stand with your patient -- establish yourself as an agent of healing. After all, the drugs flow through you (as their administrator) AFTER you offer them what you have as a human being. No matter how you cut it, you get called on to help those who believe they can't help themselves.

You win the second you enter the door and provide reassurance (in whatever form). Touch is so THOUGHT ABOUT these days, it's disgusting! It once was (through MOST cultures) a simple sign of _"I'm with you, not separate."_

When you are near to checking out and you look over your time as a medic, what are you going to be most proud of?

The way you "touched" others' lives. You can't do that with your hands in your pockets.


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## Smoke14 (May 21, 2011)

Before I can answer the OP's question, I need to know where she was holding the patients hand...

:blush:

Seriously, you did nothing wrong.


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## Amycus (May 21, 2011)

Today I took an elderly woman out of her elderly housing complex due to a fall. Obtaining a history, I found she really, really shouldn't be living on her own anymore- it's just not safe. The whole ride to the hospital I just held her hand, because in her words, she was so happy that someone cared about her and showed her kindness. I'd say that's better medication than calling ALS or O2 or whatever.

Your partner is a heartless idiot.


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## ethorp (May 22, 2011)

the_negro_puppy said:


> Holding hands is not in our protocols so we need med controls approval B)
> 
> 
> 
> Your partner is an idiot.



Haha! You need to get standing orders writen


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## belfastbiker (May 22, 2011)

Anjel1030 said:


> My partner told me I am a newbie and need to learn where to draw the line. He thinks I crossed some line by holding her hand.




It's firmly established that he's an idiot, but I think you need to get to the WHY.

In your shoes I'd ask WHY he think a line has been crossed - Scared of infection?  Scared of attaching to patients in any way in case they die en-route?   Something else we're all missing?

I think this is likely my first post or not far off it, but i'm curious...


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## AlphaButch (May 22, 2011)

Outbac1 said:


> Medicine isn't always about the drugs and procedures. Sometimes the best medicine we have is a sympathetic ear, a kind word and a gentle touch.
> You appear to have learned this lesson early and have left your partner behind.



This +1

You treated your patient. At times this is all I've needed to do in order to calm down anxiety which could lead to the exacerbation of a situation. At times, emotional support will be _all_ that is able to be done.

You haven't made it sound like your partner was saying you were "wrong" due to a physical safety concern. It sounds like your partner is either on the verge of burnout or shouldn't be in the field.


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## fma08 (May 22, 2011)

Tell your partner to stick with his job of ambulance driving while you take care of the paramedicine in the back, and when he decides to get with the program, you'll be happy to show him the ways.

Like many others, one of my more memorable calls was actually a drug "OD" where the pt. got a bad batch of weed. She was scared and "freaking out" about the ride to the hospital, so after taking care of the "medical" side of things, all I did the rest of the way was hold her hand at her request. Got quite the load of compliments by my preceptor after the call.

Before he preempts me, yes I used a lot of "quotes" in my "post". So, in honor of JP...


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## longstrike (May 23, 2011)

Ya i think you were totally in the right on this one.  I have had many similar experiences and my only problem with it would be if it interfered with the care you were giving (rechecking vitals, ect...) or in a "BSI scene safety" aspect.


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## Outworld (Jun 15, 2011)

"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night".
-Margaret Mead 

You did the best and right thing. Strong work.


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## platypus (Jun 16, 2011)

the_negro_puppy said:


> Holding hands is not in our protocols so we need med controls approval B)
> 
> 
> 
> ...





I lol'd when i scrooled down


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## dstevens58 (Jun 16, 2011)

During my ride-time as a student, one assisting paramedic actually took the time for a quick verbal prayer (at the request of the patient) even before the ambulance moved.  It comforted the patient to know we were looking after all aspects of her care.


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## FrostbiteMedic (Jun 16, 2011)

Sasha said:


> I hate taking students because i dont wear gloves unless theyre really groudy or there are body fluids or waste. or im dealing with open wounds. ive even taken a bgl with no gloves. Yet i drill "wear gloves!" into them so they do for school.



OMG....BSI!!!! Nah, IM just joking.......


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## PC Comms (Jun 16, 2011)

I just read this thread and can't believe what your partner feels is "crossing the line".  How much time has he spent in the back of a rig in recent years?  I've been at this game for over 20 years now and have done the exact same thing several times.  As several people have pointed out earlier, if it benefits the patient then you did nothing wrong.  Might I suggest that your partner sign up for a sensitivity training refresher class and I encourage you to show him this thread and the responses within it.


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## TxParamedic (Jun 16, 2011)

Wow! A unanimous response to a question! I haven't been on the forum long but I think this is the first time I've seen the board this united.
It does my old heart good.
and to pile on
Your partner IS and idiot.

From a twenty year plus paramedic and EMS Director.
Good job newbie.

Oh....Get a better partner at the first opportunity, find a experienced provider you can actually learn from. Your current partner could learn from you.


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## JPINFV (Jun 16, 2011)

Anjel, if your partner has a laptop you should set his homepage to this.


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## medictruth (Jun 17, 2011)

You did nothing wrong. Your partner seems a little burned out to me.  All you did was calm the patient, and sometimes thats better than any medication we can give.


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## sirengirl (Jun 17, 2011)

dstevens58 said:


> During my ride-time as a student, one assisting paramedic actually took the time for a quick verbal prayer (at the request of the patient) even before the ambulance moved.  It comforted the patient to know we were looking after all aspects of her care.



I recently took in a fall patient who asked me to pray with her before we left. It's the first prayer I've had thusfar (I've been heading a BLS unit for 2 months) and definately not the first hand I've held. My unit is in an area that is 83% geriatric, and I've yet to get a patient under 50. I pride myself that everyone I work with comments on my bedside manner, and that I don't hesitate to rub a shoulder or squeeze some fingers consolingly, or hold a wrinky hand or close my eyes when the patient on my gurney is praying.

My first day of clinicals, one of my instructors held up his hands and said to all of us, "These are healing hands. Never underestimate the power of just touching your patient." I fully agree with him.


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## dstevens58 (Jun 18, 2011)

sirengirl said:


> "These are healing hands. Never underestimate the power of just touching your patient."



Nice quote


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## jessicaj (Jun 18, 2011)

I sort of feel like if it can be done without compromising medical attentiveness or treatment that the emotional well being is, to a certain extent, part of what we try to help.  There does not seem to be anything neglected so it doesn't seem as though its bad to help the patient to be a little more calm.  

What good would it have done everyone including the patient if she was terrified to the point of potentially being either aggressive or just super physical?  It is a lot easier to hold a patients hand in comfort than it is to restrain the patient in distress.


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## jessicaj (Jun 18, 2011)

sirengirl said:


> Never underestimate the power of just touching your patient." I fully agree with him.



That is a great quote, thanks for that


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## jessicaj (Jun 18, 2011)

Sort of a little known fact about the NICU and Neo-Nates....

Until the last 20-30 ish years they were kept confined and never touched.  I cant remember exactly the woman's name nor do I recall the city in which this occurred but this story came up quite a few times in some of my pre-nursing courses.

There was a NICU unit with significantly lower death rate in neo-nates.  When it was looked into further, the infants under a specific RN's care did best.  Further into investigating why this was, it was determined that this particular woman 'touched' the infants.  She would gently rub their leg, or foot or hold the hand of the infant confined to its 'healing chamber'.

A gentle touch of compassion can go so much further than most people give credit for.

It is now a common practice for the infants to be handled by mother, etc (obviously in a healthy way as to not increase risk of disease).


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## Blessed187 (Jun 19, 2011)

Your partner should not work in the EMS field period. That's heartless and cruel to suggest it's not okay to hold a patients hand, sometimes that is the BEST med you can give, honestly. Strap your partner down to the gurney with all the things this pt had on her then load and go, leave her back there by herself and listen to her HR on the monitor, I bet you all the money in the world her HR would elevate! It's freakin scary if you don't know what to expect. When I was in training the medics had me on a back board w. C collar and the works, in a VERY old and abused rig lol. Turning corners was skechy. Think back to when you learned to take people in and out of the back of the rig while your trusting partner was strapped to the gurney....... It's scary!!! Jeez some people are so jaded. Seems like she would rather push a benzo in the pt then just hold her hand!


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## usalsfyre (Jun 19, 2011)

The honest fact is folks like this usually either change, or more likely become part of the "less than five years" statistic.


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## Blessed187 (Jun 19, 2011)

usalsfyre said:


> The honest fact is folks like this usually either change, or more likely become part of the "less than five years" statistic.




Yup


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## Anjel (Jun 19, 2011)

We are basics. 

He already stated he thinks people who stay in ems for 20yrs are nuts.

He has been employed here for a year and says its boring. The only reason he does it is because its "easy". 

He isnt my regular partner anymore though.

so I now see where his mind set is at. Thanks everyone for the encouraging words.


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## Blessed187 (Jun 19, 2011)

Anjel1030 said:


> We are basics.
> 
> He already stated he thinks people who stay in ems for 20yrs are nuts.
> 
> ...



He will fad out, it's just a matter of time. People like that are better off working on wall street, funny how called you a "newbie" wtf? Like being there for a yr gives you any right to call another Basic a newbie. Puft!


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## fortsmithman (Jun 19, 2011)

The guy's an idiot Holding a pt's hand and talking to them, nothing wrong with that.  People working EMS for a long time are not nuts.  Maybe we may be nuts but we are nuts who care about others.  I've been volunteering with my towns service for 3 and a half years.


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## Blessed187 (Jul 1, 2011)

http://www.ems1.com/ems-education/a...e-compassion-in-EMS-do-the-small-things-well/


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## *MX-EMT (Jul 1, 2011)

*public Relations*

Public relations. Some people have it, others don't. You are there to help her right, holding her hand is pretty effortless, but actually can do a lot. Weather they are holding your hand to help w/ the px or for emotional comfort. What you did shows great public relations and helped to give EMS and your agency a good rep. Your partner obviously dosen't have the pr that you have and karma does come around


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## jonesy0924 (Jul 1, 2011)

as long as you were not in any danger than there isnt anything wrong with what you did....you partner may need a vacation


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## wadford (Jul 3, 2011)

You most definitely did not cross the line. I understand your partner being concerned for your safety as our first responsibility is personal safety, then safety of our crew, patient and bystanders. But as you stated the patient was not aggressive, just scared. You offered her a hand and she felt safer. I see nothing wrong with that.


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## Dougy (Jul 10, 2011)

Anjel1030 said:


> Sooo... today we were transporting a lady from the hospital to a nursing home.
> 
> She was about 58ish I think and had recently been trached. She had a history of schizophrenia and depression and a learning disability.
> 
> ...



When a patient is upset or clearly distraught, I will always let them hold my hand or I'll put my hand on their shoulder and sit near them.

It goes such a long way. Especially with geriatric women.. the medics and the needle really freak them out it seems.. and they become so much more calm and relax if they have a hand to hold.


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## citizensoldierny (Jul 11, 2011)

My god I must be the weakest EMT-CC/ LPN out there, as I'll do just about anything it takes for my pt.s.. Hugs, getting a kiss on the cheek,  etc.. Unless the pt. seems uncomfortable with it I always shake hands give them a pat on the back etc. before leaving them. The only thing I haven't done is cry as that was the way I was raised. I even bit my tongue at my twos daughters births so I wouldn't. Though I  have cried at a fallen soliders ceremony or two(o.k. probably the dozen or so I turned out for but it wasn't a sob, just a tear down my cheek and I wasn't the only one). Your partner either needs to re-evaluate why he is an EMT or get a new line of work that requires less in the way of compassion. He can be technically proficient at fixing cars and make more money to boot.


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