# Who would be the worst EMS trainee?



## mycrofft (Sep 15, 2012)

Include picture?


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## DesertMedic66 (Sep 15, 2012)

Kidding kidding hahaha


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## JPINFV (Sep 15, 2012)

::evil grin::


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## mycrofft (Sep 15, 2012)

*Danny Trejo, EMT-B*






What is your primary complaint!?


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## firetender (Sep 15, 2012)

*Reporting for duty!*


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## 74restore (Sep 16, 2012)

how bad is your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?!


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## bigbaldguy (Sep 16, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> What is your primary complaint!?



That guy sits next to me in class. Lol


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## TB 3541 (Sep 16, 2012)

"You mean I have to like, _touch _old people?"


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## VFlutter (Sep 16, 2012)

" gibberish gibberish gibberish I'll rip his heart out gibberish"


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## mycrofft (Sep 16, 2012)

"I'm here fo my I.V. start lab! Who's my first volunteer?"


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## adamjh3 (Sep 16, 2012)

Too cocky


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## Martyn (Sep 16, 2012)




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## usalsfyre (Sep 16, 2012)

How could you ever honestly evaluate this guy...


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## DesertMedic66 (Sep 16, 2012)

usalsfyre said:


> How could you ever honestly evaluate this guy...



He doesn't respond to calls, the calls respond to him. The calls work around his schedule.


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## mycrofft (Sep 16, 2012)

"By the way, any skin ailments?".


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## Asclepius911 (Sep 16, 2012)

He was actually getting his PhD in Neuroscience ...


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## Achilles (Sep 16, 2012)

usalsfyre said:


> How could you ever honestly evaluate this guy...



Thats mean to say that about your uncle!h34r:


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## Tigger (Sep 16, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> "By the way, any skin ailments?".



This one made me laugh aloud.:lol:


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## NomadicMedic (Sep 16, 2012)

Chest pain? You're fired!


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## JPINFV (Sep 16, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> "By the way, any skin ailments?".



It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again.


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## mycrofft (Sep 16, 2012)

He was a physician's assistant, then on the organ procurement team. Now, has his protocol written on his hand.


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## DillR (Sep 24, 2012)

Hey now.


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## traumaluv2011 (Sep 27, 2012)

I hope this isn't anyone on here...


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## mycrofft (Sep 27, 2012)

Cute!


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## mycrofft (Sep 27, 2012)

*Code Seven with New Partner Gollum*






"Sushi, partner?".


Or the pt regains consciousness after mouth to mouth and sees this:


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## mycrofft (Sep 27, 2012)

*Ps:*

the above would also be "deal breakers at work" as well!


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## medicdan (Sep 27, 2012)

"... I was born at night, but not last night... you are not having chest pain..."

Actually, that might be good...


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## medicdan (Sep 27, 2012)

"Did I do that?"


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## Avenrii (Sep 30, 2012)

traumaluv2011 said:


> I hope this isn't anyone on here...



What city is this? Sure looks like a Killeen paramedic.


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## mycrofft (Oct 13, 2012)

What fire chief with an education would ever post such a sign?
I call BS


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## mycrofft (Oct 13, 2012)

*To his mentor on his first ride-along delivery*





"About to deliver this baby, sir. Why do you ask?"


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## JPINFV (Oct 13, 2012)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqeC3BPYTmE[/youtube]


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## mycrofft (Oct 14, 2012)

*EVOC class, Day 1*





INSTRUCTOR, (to self): "O.....M.....G!!!".


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## JPINFV (Oct 14, 2012)

Helllllooooooo Nurse!


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## mycrofft (Oct 14, 2012)

That's MY graduating EMT class!!


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## EMT B (Oct 22, 2012)




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## mycrofft (Oct 22, 2012)

EMT B said:


>



"This cadaver lab?".

"Yes".

"Me cadaver".


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## traumaluv2011 (Oct 22, 2012)




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## EMT B (Oct 22, 2012)

intubation...your doing it wrong.


on another note


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## 74restore (Oct 23, 2012)

Ahhh I was waiting to see how long this thread would go before someone posted a picture of the creepy surgeon from Human Centipede. Thank you traumaluv2011. lol


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## usalsfyre (Oct 23, 2012)

EMT B said:


> intubation...your doing it wrong.
> 
> 
> on another note



Not nearly as big of a problem in EMS as say, general surgery....


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## EMT B (Oct 23, 2012)

what the hell are you talking about? his narrative on his report would probobly be- patient needed more bar-b-que sauce!


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## mycrofft (Oct 23, 2012)

"OK, Mudblood; you win. I'll lift the head end".


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## TheLocalMedic (Nov 14, 2012)




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## mycrofft (Nov 14, 2012)

Caption, please?


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## wannabeHFD (Nov 15, 2012)

"What seems to be the problem today?"


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## ATFDFF (Nov 16, 2012)




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## VFlutter (Nov 16, 2012)

wannabeHFD said:


> "What seems to be the problem today?"



Just don't let him spike the Saline


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## mycrofft (Nov 21, 2012)

*"Everyone gets a cric"*






Just remember: "Crikey! Thyrotomy!".


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## mycrofft (Dec 26, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> Just remember: "Crikey! Thyrotomy!".


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## mycrofft (Dec 26, 2012)

*I'm here to give report, Chief, Doc, er, Nurse....*


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## hogwiley (Dec 26, 2012)

Remember Francis from Stripes. Who introduced himself with the line "any of you *#%$ touch me, and I'll kill you"


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## mycrofft (Dec 26, 2012)

I keep posting photo of Johnny Depp as the Mad Barber in Twopenny Opera doing a cric...and it keeps disappearing!


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## mycrofft (Dec 26, 2012)

hogwiley said:


> Remember Francis from Stripes. Who introduced himself with the line "any of you *#%$ touch me, and I'll kill you"



That do it?


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## hogwiley (Dec 27, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> That do it?



Thats the guy! Francis, but said everyone calls him psycho, and said if anyone called him Francis he would kill them. 

Thanks.


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## 74restore (Jan 1, 2013)

Sergeant Hulka- "Lighten up Francis, one of these men might save your life one day.."

.. "Then again, maybe one of us won't."


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## mycrofft (Jan 1, 2013)

*My turn to drive...I LOVE EVOC*


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## Glucatron (Jan 28, 2013)

Patient wakes up after a narc overdose to this...h34r:


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## Steveb (Jan 28, 2013)

I am going to get you the help you need to beat your drug addiction.
Patient : But I'm having chest pain..


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## Household6 (Jan 28, 2013)

♪♫♪♫  I'll be ready.... I won't let you out of my sight ♪♫♪♫♪♫


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## Dan216 (Apr 8, 2013)

When was your last colonoscopy? :lol:


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## mycrofft (Apr 9, 2013)

*Third Extrication Amputation This Week.*





*
Why, WHY do these calls always come to ME!?*​


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## TheLocalMedic (Apr 30, 2013)

Annie are you okay?  So, Annie are you okay?  Are you okay, Annie?


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## mycrofft (May 1, 2013)

TheLocalMedic said:


> Annie are you okay?  So, Annie are you okay?  Are you okay, Annie?




SO you've taken my class AND my jokes, eh?


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## TheLocalMedic (May 2, 2013)

mycrofft said:


> SO you've taken my class AND my jokes, eh?



Finders keepers!


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## JPINFV (May 2, 2013)

mycrofft said:


> SO you've taken my class AND my jokes, eh?




You'd have to have class to begin with before someone can take it.


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## Summit (May 2, 2013)




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## Asclepius911 (Jan 28, 2014)

Dude I'm like so going to save your life


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## mycrofft (Jan 28, 2014)

JPINFV said:


> You'd have to have class to begin with before someone can take it.





Oh, wise guy, ay?!
Nyuck nyuck nyuck.


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## mycrofft (Jan 28, 2014)

Summit said:


>





*
Oh for the Mother of Mercy!!!h34r:*​


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## Brevi (Jan 28, 2014)




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## RebelAngel (Feb 2, 2014)

Anyone say Hannibal Lecter?





Oh, how about Honey Boo Boo's Mom? 
(If you don't know who "Honey Boo Boo is, be thankful!)


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## Tuxkitteh94 (Feb 6, 2014)

*Much blood. Such wow. Plz dnt cough on me.*

Doge.


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## mycrofft (Mar 14, 2014)

​
Too cute to be a trainee. But great mascot.


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## mycrofft (Mar 14, 2014)

"What was the potassium level again?"


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## mycrofft (Mar 14, 2014)

mycrofft said:


> "What was the potassium level again?"



You know…Kavorkian? SHowing off his Euthanator machine.


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## UnkiEMT (Mar 16, 2014)

"Now I will kill you until you die from it!"


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## mycrofft (Mar 17, 2014)

Is that the new 9mm Beretta IO infusion initiator?


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## Av8or007 (Mar 18, 2014)

mycrofft said:


> Is that the new 9mm Beretta IO infusion initiator?



Nah, just the delivery system for neuroplumbic therapy. Effective for all med conditions.

"Warning - neuroplumbic therapy may result in significant trauma, morbidity and mortality. Do not use neuroplumbic therapy if you have not exhausted all other tx options and or you have a psychological illness. In rare cases, a second tx with neuroplumbic therapy may be required to accomplish the desired clinical outcome..."


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## mycrofft (Mar 19, 2014)

Av8or007 said:


> Nah, just the delivery system for neuroplumbic therapy. Effective for all med conditions.
> 
> "Warning - neuroplumbic therapy may result in significant trauma, morbidity and mortality. Do not use neuroplumbic therapy if you have not exhausted all other tx options and or you have a psychological illness. In rare cases, a second tx with neuroplumbic therapy may be required to accomplish the desired clinical outcome..."



Supratentorial kinetic plumbosis. With a cupric jacket.


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## mycrofft (Mar 19, 2014)

*Know-it-alls*





OR the following for the kiddies:



"Never mind your prattling, patient. You have paraneoplastic vapors. And you recently were stationed in India, own a small dog, walked past the Tottenham train station….".


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## SSwain (Jun 26, 2014)

Well...it seems I have lost all my run reports when my hard drive crashed.


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## TacomaGirl (Jun 26, 2014)

lmao!


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## Mthom (Jun 26, 2014)

"Your _foot_ hurts? Your _foot_ hurts? I ain't BLS, pal!"

Or my personal favorite, "I can't *hear* you!"


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## TheJammer (May 28, 2015)

There is such a thing as pushing too hard and too fast.


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## smorkal42 (Jun 8, 2015)

Did I do that?


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## Run with scissors (Jun 9, 2015)

Basically any politician,  because they can't see the obvious problems with anything.


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