# Sorry kids, but this one wins...hands down...



## gradygirl (Jul 2, 2008)

My buddy called me at about midnight last night and said "In 19 years in EMS, I have never seen what I just saw." Of course, I'm hooked, right? So I'm like "OK, what happened?" He can barely contain his laughter as he says "Well, we got dispatched to a man with a knife in his pocket that slipped and stabbed himself in the penis." I just start laughing, but he stops me and says "No, there's more." So I'm like, well shoot, how could there be more? Well, the rest of the story goes something like this: he and his partner arrive and walk into the house. FD, PD, everyone is there, and apparently so preoccupied that no one remembered to cancel the FD's Tac unit. They get to the bathroom when one of the firefighters says "He cut it off." My buddy's just like, "F--- you..." but another firefighter says "No, really. He cut it off." So my he walks into the bathroom which, as he described it, "looked like a really bad '80s horror flick." The pt's just sitting there, and when my friend asks him what happened, he calmly said "Dude, I cut my s--- off, what do you think happened?" And when my friend saw the injury, yes, "it" was completely severed. Apparently what had happened is he had gotten "it" stuck in the zipper and tried releasing himself with the use of a steak knife. The knife slipped and little Willy came right off.

Well, so my buddy transports him to the ED, the trauma room is PACKED with nurses, doctors, everyone who wanted to see just exactly the CMED patch into the hospital was talking about. Patient comes in. Surgeons examine him. There is no way that they can reattach his penis because the steak knife did too much damage. So now this dude's gonna be peeing out of a nub. :wacko:


----------



## mikeylikesit (Jul 2, 2008)

hahahaha....poor guy. well darwin prevails...he obviously didn't need children.


----------



## NJN (Jul 2, 2008)

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
:lol:

That is one of the funnies stories i've heard in a long time, poor dude tho. Deserved it for attempting to free willy (pun intended) with a knife.

I believe he gets a darwin award for this one.


----------



## mdkemt (Jul 2, 2008)

*shakes head*

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm.....

MDKEMT:unsure:


----------



## Airwaygoddess (Jul 2, 2008)

Airwaygoddess is just shaking her head too........... That poor patient...


----------



## Medic9 (Jul 2, 2008)

Sorry if I find it hard to believe that with a slip of a steak knife he cut off his "little buddy". It would take several cuts with a scapel to cut through a penis. How much ya wanna bet that something else happened and out of depression or anger he cut it if.


----------



## Jon (Jul 2, 2008)

Oh my name is John Wayne Bobbitt...


----------



## reaper (Jul 2, 2008)

Medic9, I was thinking the exact same thing!


----------



## mdkemt (Jul 2, 2008)

OWCH OWCH OWCH

I do wonder though what the entire history is with this patient.  I think there is more to the story then anyone will ever know especially seeing as the patient was CALM!


MDKEMT


----------



## MJordan2121 (Jul 2, 2008)

*Ouch*

Yikes!!!!! That had to hurt... Sucks to be him.


----------



## gradygirl (Jul 2, 2008)

I've been thinking the same thing. My guess is that a) he was high and thought it was a brilliant idea; b) someone else did it; or c) he has no pain receptors whatsoever.

The facts, however, are this: 

he was scarily calm on scene and during transport
his penis was completely severed
there was absolutely no way it could be reattached due to the amount of tissue damage from the serrated blade


----------



## VentMedic (Jul 3, 2008)

Unfortunately this does happen in many different ways so you might start thinking about ways to calm a patient and pain control as well as preserving the damaged or amputated penis.   

I have seen this happen a few times with shootings, construction and machinery mishaps as well as the crazed psychos or drug induced psychosis.   I also work at a hospital that does microsurgery so it is not that uncommon to get patients flown in for the expertise of our physicians.  Sometimes the reattachment is successful and sometimes not.   The EMT and/or Paramedic play a big part in that success.   If you are too shocked or giggling at the scene to get things done quickly, replantation success will decline.  The poor guy will have a very rough journey ahead of him.     Patients are usually referred for extensive counseling during the healing process. Those that are not psychotic and receive this injury in an industrial accident may commit suicide later.

http://www.microsurgeon.org/penis_replantation.htm


----------



## Airwaygoddess (Jul 3, 2008)

*Patient care and interactions.......*

Besides the incidents as Vent has mentioned, there are cases of patients have cancer of the penis.  It is heart breaking,  a little less laughing and a lot more empathy...........


----------



## BossyCow (Jul 3, 2008)

Sharp instruments and genitals are always a bad combination.


----------



## gradygirl (Jul 6, 2008)

*Update!!! New info on Mr. Peepee*

Ok, so I talked to my buddy who ran the call and he got more back story on this whole thing.

The pt. (56 yo male) had apparently been shacking up with a "young girl" of unknown relation. His sister came home, found him with the unidentified individual, and cut his penis off.

Don't know any more about if there were drugs, alcohol, etc. on board, but now it looks like he gave a different story to keep the heat off of himself.


----------



## katgrl2003 (Jul 7, 2008)

Ok, that had to hurt.


----------



## mikeylikesit (Jul 7, 2008)

When did Loraine get out?!?!? Alright guys time to start hiding your treats.


----------



## TheDoll (Jul 7, 2008)

Airwaygoddess said:


> Besides the incidents as Vent has mentioned, there are cases of patients have cancer of the penis.  It is heart breaking,  a little less laughing and a lot more empathy...........



i agree...less funny, more sad. poor guy. that's just horrible


----------



## gradygirl (Jul 7, 2008)

TheDoll said:


> i agree...less funny, more sad. poor guy. that's just horrible



Honestly, if the most recent story is true, then he deserves it. Yet, is anyone else as weirded out as me that his sister did it?


----------



## katgrl2003 (Jul 8, 2008)

TCERT1987 said:


> Honestly, if the most recent story is true, then he deserves it. Yet, is anyone else as weirded out as me that his sister did it?



Um, yeah.  Very weirded out.

-Kat


----------



## Sapphyre (Jul 8, 2008)

TCERT1987 said:


> Honestly, if the most recent story is true, then he deserves it. Yet, is anyone else as weirded out as me that his sister did it?



Just a little.  Am I the only weirdo now thinking that his "young woman" was his niece?


----------



## EMTSteve (Jul 11, 2008)

mdkemt said:


> *shakes head*
> 
> MDKEMT:unsure:



Thats bad... lol


----------



## BLSBoy (Jul 13, 2008)

VentMedic said:


> Unfortunately this does happen in many different ways so you might start thinking about ways to calm a patient and pain control as well as preserving the damaged or amputated penis.
> 
> I have seen this happen a few times with shootings, construction and machinery mishaps as well as the crazed psychos or drug induced psychosis.   I also work at a hospital that does microsurgery so it is not that uncommon to get patients flown in for the expertise of our physicians.  Sometimes the reattachment is successful and sometimes not.   The EMT and/or Paramedic play a big part in that success.   If you are too shocked or giggling at the scene to get things done quickly, replantation success will decline.  The poor guy will have a very rough journey ahead of him.     Patients are usually referred for extensive counseling during the healing process. Those that are not psychotic and receive this injury in an industrial accident may commit suicide later.
> 
> http://www.microsurgeon.org/penis_replantation.htm



How much of a chance do these poor unfortunate souls have at regaining full, or near full use of it?


----------



## VentMedic (Jul 13, 2008)

It depends on the type of trauma, how good EMS and the first hospital are at packing and preserving, transport time to the microsurgery center, skill of the surgeon, how much nerve damage, amount of vessel grafting that must be done and pre-existing disease processes and/or medications that hinder healing.   Just like any traumatic amputation, everything counts toward successful restoration of function.   This type of amputation spends a  long time in the hospital as opposed to other amputations involving fingers and hands.  Complications with the urinary tract will also have to be considered and a cystostomy will have to be made.


----------



## EMERG2011 (Jul 14, 2008)

Once again, nature in her infinite wisdom proves to us the theory of natural selection.....  Does anyone want to call the Darwind awards and have this guy written up for an honorable mention? Anyone? Anyone?


----------



## volff21 (Jul 14, 2008)

Medic9 said:


> Sorry if I find it hard to believe that with a slip of a steak knife he cut off his "little buddy". It would take several cuts with a scapel to cut through a penis. How much ya wanna bet that something else happened and out of depression or anger he cut it if.



i agree with you and the zipper would be muchless painful and for less then $20 you have less pain and a new pair of pants


----------



## MidniteMedic (Jul 27, 2008)

You just can't make this stuff up.


----------



## Robby1974 (Jul 27, 2008)

volff21 said:


> i agree with you and the zipper would be muchless painful and for less then $20 you have less pain and a new pair of pants



I agree as well. Darwin award for sure on this one. Of course the darwin award is indicated for shacking up with a relative and getting caught....you might be a redneck if...


----------



## EMTFrog2006 (Aug 2, 2008)

Medic9 said:


> Sorry if I find it hard to believe that with a slip of a steak knife he cut off his "little buddy". It would take several cuts with a scalpel to cut through a penis. How much ya wanna bet that something else happened and out of depression or anger he cut it if.



Seriously, WTH?:blink: LOL What was going through his mind to use a *STAKE KNIFE* to help get his penis out of his zipper? That sounds a little out there and phony.:glare: Oops lol.


----------



## emt19723 (Aug 12, 2008)

"DUH!!!!!!!" comes to mind


----------

