# i'm feeling a little discouraged...help?



## TheDoll (Dec 13, 2007)

so, i'm relatively new to ems. i passed my state test in july, and i've been working for a 911 service for the last month or so. prior to that i worked on a burn unit, and i worked there from december of '06 until i started with the ems service. before that i worked as a computer consultant. 

so, i love working on the ambulance as an emt, but i feel so incredibly dumb every day. i think of myself as a relatively intelligent person...at least about average. for example, i know a couple of languages, i'm college educated, i've always made pretty good decisions. 

however, when it comes to working on the ambulance i feel like i am ALWAYS forgetting something on a call. i might forget to ask a question, to fill in something for the paperwork, etc., but always something. plus, i feel like i am always 2 steps behind everyone else. i haven't done anything terribly damaging or anything. i just feel like i am always a little out of sync with the other people on the ambulance. i try to be outgoing, but respectful. i always offer to take things into our destination...or just grab something i know we need and head in. i just feel a little off--always. 

part of the problem might be that i'm always floating from truck to truck. so, i get to know everyone a little, but i don't have time to really sync into how they work. i haven't had any problems with coworkers or anything--all of the people i've worked with have been extremely helpful. no one has gotten mad at me, and the constructive criticism is very helpful. also, i always tell them to please be open with me in letting me know what i need to work on. most of the feedback that i get is that it just needs to click for me and that it will. people have also given me specific feedback, but it's a little different every day

basically, i feel like i have a good memory in my daily life, but now that i've started working as an emt, i feel like i'm always forgetting things. it's like there are just so many details to remember, and i just can't remember them all at the same time. 

i was just hoping that maybe some of you would have some words of encouragement or advice. even if it's hard to take, i'd like to hear it. i just want to do a good job...no, a great job, and i feel a bit defeated. a pat on the back is nice, but really, i'm looking for "look in the mirror" advice. i don't have any friends or family in this business. so, when i turn to my friends they are all like, oh, i'm sure you're doing great. i feel like i'm  just barely mediocre. any help would be greatly appreciated, and i promise not to take offense!

sorry about the tldr facto!


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## firecoins (Dec 13, 2007)

I am out of synch with some people as well.  Nothing much can be done...yet.


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## TheDoll (Dec 13, 2007)

firecoins said:


> I am out of synch with some people as well.  Nothing much can be done...yet.


i'm sort of out of sync with everyone. also, i'm a little weird in that i never hardly EVER cry over anything. i'm not even the kind of girl who can turn on the water works for sympathy. however, this job, just today almost made my eyes water out of frustration. :sad:


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## JJR512 (Dec 13, 2007)

From what I understand, you've only been working for a month. Do you feel that you've made any improvement at all since your first day? Don't expect to be one with the flow so quickly. You probably _have_ gotten more into the flow since your first day, but it's hard for you to realize this because it's happening to _you_ (just like you can't see your own hair growing, but don't cut it for half a year and visit someone whom you haven't seen in all that time and they'll comment on how much longer your hair is--know what I mean?).

PS: If you've become an EMT, you should go to your profile and change your training from "Student" to "EMT-B".


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## Rattletrap (Dec 13, 2007)

Sit down take a breath and go party with your coworkers. This stuff comes with time. Ask questions as you go and do not be afraid to ask for advice on a call. Again it takes time and practice.


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## firetender (Dec 13, 2007)

This is called "adjustment". 

The truth is, you're just getting hung up on the technical stuff and then beating yourself up emotionally over it.

You've been trained to be totally in your head and when you don't have immediate access to the head stuff your heart does flip-flops. What you weren't taught is how to deal with that! Also, the head stuff hasn't quite made the transition to your hands, so it feels like being an infant again.

Yes, TheDoll, you are hopeless, it's all futile and any minute now you'll be handing in your Star of Life and Trauma scissors.

Just like the rest of us.

Remember, time wounds all heels. I don't think you're a heel, so time is my prescription for the healing stuff. Don't do anything to rush its passage. Allow yourself to fumble-f*** around as you get in tune with your rhythms. Allow yourself to be corrected without turning it into a weapion against yourself.

Only about 62.50% of your anxiety will be resolved by practice. The rest will be taken care of by laughter. Be secure in knowing five years from now you'll be getting a chuckle about today.


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## Tincanfireman (Dec 14, 2007)

Without getting too specific, I work a similar arrangement to you, Doll. I can completely empathize with your feelings, and to my non-psychologically trained brain, it sounds like you're stressing a little bit. It also sounds like that you're trying to go from 0-60 faster than is good for you, too. Your co-workers know you're new, that you're floating from crew to crew, and that you're trying. Relax a little bit and slow down; we preach the benefits of practice all the time, so give yourself time to get comfortable with your new career before you begin beating yourself over the head. I promise, there will be a day when you can show up at any station and be welcomed as a competent co-worker by nearly everyone. Best of luck!!


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## Airwaygoddess (Dec 14, 2007)

Hey Doll, with any new job it is learning the "ropes" and getting your feet under you.  With this job it has a twist of learning how to muti-task, dont worry just give yourself time and it will all come together.  It sounds like you are asking all of the right questions and as far as paperwork that will come too with time.  Stay safe and well Doll!!


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## BossyCow (Dec 14, 2007)

I am a well documented airhead.  I have forgotten radios, clipboards, my POV keys, the names of my partners.....   It happens.  With time, we get better.  I found that carrying one of those little spiral notebooks, the ones about the size of a deck of cards with me and writing things down really helped.  Just after a call writing down what I forgot and in what order I should have done it and will do it next time cements it in my brain. 

Now I'm one of the ones that make the new people feel inadequate because I seem to have it together.  Cheer up.  In no time at all you'll be the one looking impossibly together and competent to some new guy.


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## katgrl2003 (Dec 14, 2007)

The same thing happened to me.  It took a great partner and about 3 months before I really started feeling comfortable in the back of the truck.  Just remember this: we all forget things, even the people that have been doing this for years.

-Kat


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## medic417 (Dec 14, 2007)

Head up kiddo.  You have to think positive.  We all have times we feel like idiots especially when you consider the limited education we had in basic school.


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## Tincanfireman (Dec 14, 2007)

TheDoll said:


> however, when it comes to working on the ambulance i feel like i am ALWAYS forgetting something on a call.


 
Hey Doll, 
           You getting the idea you're not alone?


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## Epi-do (Dec 14, 2007)

Doll, I am sure you are doing just fine.  I remember my first few months at the Wiz and how inadequat I too felt.  Hang in there, and you will find your groove.  It will also help once you get a regular partner/truck that you can get into a routine with.  

I am fortunate that my husband is a firefighter, so he can relate to alot of things when I get home after a rough shift.  I do know how important it is that you have someone to talk/vent to that understands at least some of what you are going through.  

Since we are both in Indy, if you ever want to get together shoot me a PM.  I could always use another friend to hang out with.  I don't know when you have your breaks for medic class, but between your classes/clinicals/work schedule and mine I am sure we could find some time to meet at Starbucks or something.


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## kashton (Dec 14, 2007)

TheDoll said:


> however, when it comes to working on the ambulance i feel like i am ALWAYS forgetting something on a call. i might forget to ask a question, to fill in something for the paperwork, etc., but always something. plus, i feel like i am always 2 steps behind everyone else. i haven't done anything terribly damaging or anything. i just feel like i am always a little out of sync with the other people on the ambulance. i try to be outgoing, but respectful. i always offer to take things into our destination...or just grab something i know we need and head in. i just feel a little off--always.



Whatever it is you focus your attention on will materialize in the real world, so if you think you always forget things then instead of telling yourself that, tell yourself that you remember to do everything on calls and you always make good decisions and reinforce it in your mind and it will happen. Try it


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## paccookie (Dec 14, 2007)

Hi,

I'm new to EMS too.  I passed National Registry in June and started working full time in October.  I've also been a "floater" up until recently and I think that's the worst thing you can do to a new person, especially someone who's not only new to your service but new to EMS entirely.  I have a regular partner for the moment and he is absolutely wonderful.  He likes to teach and he's willing to let me do the vast majority of the patient care so that I can learn everything.  I can ask him anything and he asks me what I think about this or that after the call.  We discuss our thoughts on the diagnosis and other aspects of the calls.  All of that has been very helpful to me, but I still feel like I'm lost some times.  I basically felt like a complete idiot for the first month or so after I started my job.  That's not normal for me and it really frustrated me.  I was stuck working as a day shift person, floating from one partner to another from one day to the next and that was very confusing since every one works differently.  Some people didn't want me to touch their patients at all, others were willing to teach me anything I wanted to know.  You just have to find someone that you work well with and try to stick with them.  If you can find a regular partner, you will see a huge difference.  You'll get to a point where you don't have to ask what he or she needs next, you'll just know.  Part of that comes with knowing your service's protocols, but a bigger part comes from knowing and trusting your partner.  I can honestly say that I would trust my partner with my life and that's something that I wouldn't say about many people.  EMS is a difficult job and I felt like I was thrown to the wolves a little when I first started this job.  I think it's the sort of job where you either sink or swim and you'll know pretty quickly which one you're doing.  That said, once you get the basics down, it's a learning process that doesn't end.  Don't get complacent.  Know what your partner is doing and why.  Take ACLS and PALS and learn advanced skills, even if you can't legally perform them.  It helps if you know what's going on in the back of the truck.  Take a good A&P class...this is something I can't stress enough.  Nothing in my EMT program helped me like the A&P classes I took when I was a nursing major.  

Anyway, I've rambled on enough.  Good luck with your job.  I'm sure there are other new people here who can offer you plenty of good advice.  If you ever want to talk, send me a message.  I work too much though, so I may not reply very quickly.  

Christina


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## paccookie (Dec 14, 2007)

Rattletrap said:


> Sit down take a breath and go party with your coworkers. This stuff comes with time. Ask questions as you go and do not be afraid to ask for advice on a call. Again it takes time and practice.




That is excellent advice!  Make friends with your coworkers.  This is probably the best thing a new person could do, beyond the basics like showing up for work and doing their job.  lol


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## Tincanfireman (Dec 14, 2007)

paccookie said:


> beyond the basics like showing up for work and doing their job. lol


 
You'd be absolutely stunned to discover how hard this is for some new folks, never mind things like "in a clean uniform" and "recently showered".


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## certguy (Dec 15, 2007)

*A little help*

Hi Doll ,

   You're not unique . All EMT's worth thier salt feel this way when they first get started . Confidence comes with time and experience . Shy away from new EMT's who think they're god's gift - they can get you in trouble . Seek out the more senior EMT's and become a sponge , you can learn a lot from them . I used to be an FTO ( field training officer ) at our company , and I saw this a lot . Here's a few tips ; When you work with a new crew or partner , if possible , sit down with them and go over what your role will be . Working with different partners is pretty much a way of life when you're new and we all do things differently . It helps to know beforehand what to expect . When you have spare time , drill with your partners on the skills you have trouble with . Pt. assessment for example . Many times it takes time for newbys to get comfortable with laying hands on others , you worked in a controlled enviorment before and that helps , but in the field it's anything but a cotrolled enviorment . Other areas to go over would be map reading , radio reports , and learning to improvise and think on your feet . example ; in school you c - spined each other right ? in real life how do you c - spine the 90 y/o female who's a human question mark that fell out of her bed in a con home ? When you respond to calls remember to do a size - up . This is a continious evaluation of the call that goes from the start to finish of the call . Finally , before you wade into a call , mentally step back , take a deep breath , and think what you're going to do . 

   You'll be great , I've got confidence in you .


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## MSDeltaFlt (Dec 15, 2007)

OK, to those of you who are new and feeling a little overwhelmed at this EMS thingy:  Lighten up.  You're smarter than you realize.  Give yourself a break; especially if you're a brand new basic in a medic level service.  You can't teach experience.  It's like trust.  It's earned...over time.  You have to learn something that is not, and cannot be taught in any class... the "Vibe of the call".  Seasoned medics know what I'm talking about.  You not only learn to trust your gut, but you must first learn to listen to it and figure out what the hell it's trying to say to you.

Your own personality, demeanor, and your own life experiences will enhance your skills as the competent patient advocate you want to become.  What you learn on the truck in this transition is also a part of the forementioned life experiences.  Give it time.

Stay open to learning.  Let yourself be great.  You'll be amazed at what happens.

Skids up


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## BossyCow (Dec 15, 2007)

I'm encouraged.  You see a standard and see yourself as needing to come up to that standard.  I prefer an EMT who feels like they don't have the skills they need than one of those who figure they have the piece of paper so everyone needs to show them respect now.  Your attitude is one that will lead you to hone your skills, improve your knowledge base and become what you believe an EMT should be.  I'm still trying to see where any of that is a bad thing.

Your feelings of being inadequate to the task shows a respect for the responsibility placed on your shoulders.  We should all keep some of that with us throughout our careers in EMS.  The minute we think we know it all, a call will happen that hits us right in the gaps in our knowledge.  I learn something from every call I go on, every class I teach and every new EMT I meet.


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## certguy (Dec 16, 2007)

*A little help*

Earlier in this thread I mentioned size - up . I realized that , being new , you may not be familiar with this term . As I said before , sizeup is a continious assessment of a call that goes from it's start to it's finish . When you respond to a call , consider the following factors ; 

                      FACTS - type of call , # of patients , weather conditions
                      PROBABILITIES - what am I getting into , what gear will I 
                      need ?
                      RESOURCES - can I handle or do I need more help ?
                      TIME - response time and time of day which may effect
                      your routing due to traffic or construction . Also , transport
                      time to the appropriate facility . If too long , consider need
                      for ALS intercept or medevac chopper . 

 Many times there are other considerations also , first and foremost is scene safety . The safety of you and your crew come first . If you don't feel safe , don't go in . If you go to a crime scene , disturb as little as possible , make mental notes , and document well . All documentation is admissable in court . 
Don't get discouraged , as time goes by , you'll get more confident and capable . You've got to roll before you crawl , crawl before you walk , and walk before you run . 

 THE FORCE IS STRONG IN YOU YOUNG SKYWALKER , BUT YOU ARE NOT YET A JEDI .


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## firetender (Dec 16, 2007)

I'm very proud of this site and all of you for the quality of support you offer each other. This is truly a safe haven for any one in any aspect of EMS to air their concerns and find support. I can't emphasize enough how important this is to help the profession find itself.


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## TheDoll (Dec 16, 2007)

thank you all so much for your helpful responses. i wish that i could respond to each one individually. you have no idea how reading through this thread has just taken some weight off of my shoulders. oh, and the reason i haven't responded until now is because i've been very sick for the past few days, and i haven't checked my computer at all. anyway, i figured this thread would be way down on the bottom of the list or something. i'm so touched that it has stayed afloat, and that all of you have taken the time to respond. 

so, i'm gathering quite a bit of info from reading these pages, and it sounds like this feeling of not knowing what the heck i'm doing is going to leave me any time soon. what it does sound like, though, is that that is okay, and *gasp* maybe even normal? so, i will continue to try hard and keep my ears turned on. in fact, there is a lot in this thread that i am going to try to put into practice. most of all, though, i don't feel like such a failure. 

thank you all so much, and i will probably return to this thread to read your advice.


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## paccookie (Dec 16, 2007)

TheDoll said:


> it sounds like this feeling of not knowing what the heck i'm doing is going to leave me any time soon. what it does sound like, though, is that that is okay, and *gasp* maybe even normal? so, i will continue to try hard and keep my ears turned on. in fact, there is a lot in this thread that i am going to try to put into practice. most of all, though, i don't feel like such a failure.



You're definitely not a failure and it is very normal to question yourself when you're new at something.  Like I said, I'm new at this too and I question myself constantly.  I have to think my way through most everything, although things are becoming easier every day.  You need to find a good partner who is willing to answer your questions and encourages you to learn.  As others have said, hang out with the more senior EMTs and become a sponge.  They have a lot to teach you.  Don't hang out with the ones who have the "God complex" and think they know everything.  They don't and they will likely get you and themselves in trouble.  Never stop learning and studying, even when school is over.  Learn on your own.  Look up things you don't understand and ask questions - ask your partner, the nurses, the doctor, anyone who will listen.  LOL  I tend to write things down and look them up when I get home.

Anyway, I should get back to work.  It's been a slow day today.  Maybe things will pick up.  LOL  We've had no calls yet and it's 3:30.  Strange.

Hope you feel better soon!

Christina


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## TheDoll (Dec 16, 2007)

thanks christina,
yeah, i definitely ask questions, but i look up a lot of stuff, too, when i get home. as far as being around the type of emt's (or people in general) who think they are gods...i just sort of keep my mouth shut and let them talk out whatever it is they just _have _to say. i'm not the kind of person who likes to talk over people to try and prove some sort of point. so, i don't end up spending much time around people like that anyway. i definitely try to pay attention to what anyone has to say, though. i figure if it's bad advice, i'll probably pick up on it pretty quickly. 

thanks again, everyone!


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## certguy (Dec 17, 2007)

*Memories*

Reading the posts from you new folks brings back memories from way back when I started . Things really don't change much over the years . I felt just like you do now . BEEN THERE , DONE THAT , GOT THE T - SHIRT . Hang in there , be a sponge , do your best and you'll do great . Soon you'll be swapping war stories with the rest of us .


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## AntonioEMT (Dec 17, 2007)

"Practice, practice, practice and learning" is the right way....


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