# New Medications.



## MedicPrincess (Sep 5, 2006)

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN 

*D A M N I T O L 
*Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. 

*ST. M O M M A'S W O R T* 
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. 

*E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N* 
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. 

*P E P T O B I M B O* 
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. 

*D U M B E R O L* 
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. 

*F L I P I T O R* 
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. 

*M E N I C I L L I N* 
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now? 

*BUYAGRA* 
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. 

*J A C K A S S P I R I N* 
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. 

*A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T 
*A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. 

*N A G A M E N T* 
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.


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## emtwannabe (Sep 5, 2006)

My wife is calling her PCP to see if she can get prescriptions now!!!!! 


Thanks a lot!!!!:wacko: 

Jeff


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## Sineath02 (Sep 5, 2006)

EMTPrincess said:


> NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
> 
> *D A M N I T O L
> *Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
> ...






Hahaha some of these are reaaally good


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## ffemt8978 (Sep 5, 2006)

This one is still the best.


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## scorpiolcp (Oct 20, 2006)

Hey Jeff... these should be on the Exam next week?


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## emtwannabe (Oct 20, 2006)

Probably so......need to study......... 


Jeff


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