# Say What???



## DonQ (Nov 13, 2004)

How many times have you been in your truck on a scene and heard the most ridiculous thing and wish you had it on tape.  here are some of the craziest!  BTW: names and units have sometimes been changed...
--------------------------------
*ON THE RADIO:*


54V: This is a Family dispute, send PD we are available
Central: There is no patient?
54V: Negative central at least not yet.
Central: right I'll put a rush on PD

EMT1 - Pt is an 85 y/o M c/o chest pain, SOB, radiating pain to L arm 30 min before EMS contacted
Nurse - Why does he have a Foley's catheter in?
EMT2 - He doesn't like to piss.... what does that have to do with the MI?


@ the Carney in Boston
Triage Nurse - Do you have an IV started?
EMT-Basic 1 - No, we're basics we don't know how.
Nurse - Oh I understand if you don't have the equipment on the truck.
EMT-B2 - No, we're basics, we're not allowed to start IVs equipment or not.
Nurse - Whatever, here.... go ahead and start one.
(She paid attention, didn't she) 

En route to an MVA:
Unit 72 "71, 72 your back doors are open."
Unit 71 "10-4 we're almost on scene."
Unit 72 "71, you're spilling some green things onto the roadway"
Unit 71 "10-4, you wanna grab those for us?"
71 was the command rig...couldn't ya tell?

 52A: Central Send us medics for an AMS
Central: Aren't you down the block from ######## Hospital
52A: Yeah
Central: So take the Pt to the hospital

Few min later 52A: 52A are we gonna get medics?
Central: PUSH THE COT ACROSS THE STREET TO THE HOSPITAL
52A: Uhhhhhhh, OK

Dispatcher: [unit] xxx.
Unit: [unit] xxx.
Dispatcher: [respond over to] xxxxx and xxxxxxx for... um the mother states... it's a 6 month old female with a thermomitor stuck somewhere.
Unit: Uheew! 63. 

Dispatcher: [unit] 7xx.
Unit: 7xx go [ahead].
Dispatcher: Respond over to xxxx xxxxx street for the swollen penis.
Unit 7xx: (keys the mic but is laughing so hard he can't talk. His partner, not realising the mic was on, said what the f*ck?
(Of course my idiotic partner had to put in her twe cents and said "no cussing on the radio." But I was just gonna die laughing!)

50B: we have a 16 car MVA we are going to need additional units.
Dispatch: what is your location?
Unknown unit: (chorus from a song playing on the radio) In a world of human wreckage, where I’m lost and I’m found and I can’t touch the ground.



Dispatch: No unauthorized transmissions, unauthorized transmissions impede the safe and effective workings of the system and endanger the public, StationXXXXXX time dispatcher XXXX out
Unknown unit: 10-5(repeat) the last
2nd Unknown unit: 10-5
3rd Unknown unit:10-5
4th Unknown unit: what’d ya say
Dispatch: GUYS!!!!!!!



54X: We can’t respond, we are flagged for kids in the pond at __________!
Dispatch: yeah that’s the call I just gave you
54X: Oh well then we’re here.

Few min later
54X: 54X confirmed 5 kids fell through the ice in the middle of the pond, we are gonna need Ice rescue or something.
Unknown unit: Ya THINK SO?



54X: We just got another patient at this incident so we will be extended on scene.
Dispatch: 10-4
Supervisor: Central, How many patients total now at 54X’s job?
Dispatch: they had 3 and just added another one.
Supervisor: so how many total
Dispatch: stand by, 54X what is your total patient count?
54X: last time I checked 3+1 was 4
Off air to other Tech at scene: I can see why he was promoted.



Dispatcher: Respond to ________ for an adult male maternity.


Supervisor: What's everyone's status? (After a second call)
Unit 1: I'm clear
Unit 2: I'm clear too
Supervisor: We're all clear!
Unit 1: PUSH TO SHOCK! PUSH TO SHOCK!



Unit1: There is no one answering can you try the callback
Dispatch: are you at the apartment door or the building door
Unit1: the apartment door.
Dispatch: Standby.. oh wait the text says she can't come to the door, I'll have to send you resources for entry.
Unit1: That's great, now you notice,  what do we do in the mean time?
Unknown Unit: Huff and Puff and blow the door down!!!


Dispatch - Unit 82, respond to area of XXXXXXX for the small aircraft or spaceship in distress.
Unit 82 - Spaceship? Uh.... OK. Responding. (ten minutes later)
Unit 82 - We're cleared from the scene, it was just a traffic helicopter. (five minutes later)
Dispatch - Unit 82, did you ever get a last name on that patient?
Unit 82 - You mean the helicopter?
Dispatch - Affirmative, you RMA'd, didn't you?
Unit 82 - The helicopter?
Dispatch - Oh, it didn't crash?



Dispatch: 54V Respond to x near the XXXX supermarket
54V: 10-4
unk: you mean the market near the hospital that's 30 sec away by foot, that one!



Patient: You boys are so nice, you are the nicest crew I have ever had.  Is it because you work for the catholic charities?
My partner: Actually we're both *JEWISH*



Dispatch: EMS 125, respond for an assault, outside the Have A Nice Day Cafe



49D: Conditions 49 (the supervisor) Just got hit by a car we need another conditions supervisor!
Dispatch: Is the supervisor all right?
49D: 10-5 (repeat)
Dispatch: do you need another bus for the supervisor?
49D: Oh yeah I guess so.  (can you feel the love)?



Multiple Dispatches:
Station 19 Ambulance. Cardiac Arrest
(Second Tap) Station 19 Ambulance. Cardiac Arrest
Station 19 response check

Station 10 cover station 19. Cardiac Arrest
(Second Tap) Station 19 Ambulance cover station 10. Cardiac Arrest
Station 10 response check

Station 4 Cover station 10 and 19. DOA.



54V: Central put us down mechanical at XXX and XXX, the bus won't go
Central: 10-4 54Y and 47A respond to 54V job.

1 min later: 54V:  Central be advised the Pt came to us, we are treating at location of breakdown.
Central: 47A and 54Y new location is XXX and XXX in 54V
47A: 10-4 We are pulling up behind 54V now.
54V: cancel 54Y we will transport in 47A

After call: 54V: 54V comming out of hosp ## being escorted back to our broken down junkheap via 47A
Central: 10-5 (repeate)
54V: comming out of hosp## hitching a ride back to our broken bus via 47A
Central: (laughing) 10-4



Dispatcher: Unit 69
Unit: 69
Dispatcher: Unit 69 report to 123rd and Elm Code 4 (transfer)
Unit: 10-60 (more info)
Dispatcher: 123rd and Elm, There is a schizophrenic man at the pay phone of Quicktrip, who ran out of his meds and dose not have enuff money to pay for a cab so he called us and wants a ride to the hospital so he can pick them up.
Unit: (EMT Laughting in background) Paramedic: 10-4 in route (mic still keyed) Oh-Goodie our first call of the evening.


Hospital Presents:

Mather hosp we are enroute to your facility with 2 patients, the first complaining of resp distress, and psychiatric emergency, the 2nd c/o psychiatric emergency, our ETA... 
Not soon enough.. er 5 min.



On Medical Control:

ALS Provider: The patient Awoke Unresponsive.



ALS Provider:Can I give an ventolin updraft?



ALS Provider:Can I give thiamin IM
MC: Why?
ALS Provider: I don't know but you can give it IM right?



MC(for an RMA): Who called you?
EMT: Medcom



ALS Provider:What should I do with this patient?



MC(on a RMA)o you think this patient should be seen.
EMT:UH..........



ALS Provider: The patient is unconscious
MC: Does he have a pulse?
ALS Provider:No
MC: Are you doing CPR?
ALS Provider:No should I

EMT (to ALS Provider): he said to give an epipeane and atroephine.


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## MMiz (Nov 14, 2004)

Those were great  :lol:


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## sunshine1026 (Nov 14, 2004)

> *Supervisor: What's everyone's status? (After a second call)
> Unit 1: I'm clear
> Unit 2: I'm clear too
> Supervisor: We're all clear!
> ...



ROFLMAO     

Thanks for brightening my day!


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## cbdemt (Nov 17, 2004)

Dispatch: This is METCOM paging xnxx, E-xxx, E-xxx, Tankerxxx, Rescuexxx, BrushTruckxxx.  You are needed to respond to xxx ___ street for a report of a cow that has fallen into a pool. (long pause open mic) the cow is drowning. 


Only in Illinois.....


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## DonQ (Nov 17, 2004)

oh jeez, cbdemt, i like that one!


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## ffemt8978 (Nov 17, 2004)

> _Originally posted by cbdemt_@Nov 17 2004, 09:19 AM
> * Dispatch: This is METCOM paging xnxx, E-xxx, E-xxx, Tankerxxx, Rescuexxx, BrushTruckxxx.  You are needed to respond to xxx ___ street for a report of a cow that has fallen into a pool. (long pause open mic) the cow is drowning.
> 
> 
> Only in Illinois..... *


 Been there, done that...

only in South Dakota instead of Illinois.


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## MMiz (Nov 18, 2004)

Must... resist... redneck... jokes.

 :lol:


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## SafetyPro2 (Nov 18, 2004)

Well, we don't get too many call details over the radio...rather, we get basic info (nature of call, address, cross-streets, etc.) and then get the details via the MCTs in the rigs and our text pagers. Here's a few of the better ones.

*Animal Rescue - PD O/S Animal Control E/R Dog Stuck in Wrought Iron Fence Need Cutter*
Apparently, this dog saw a car or pedestrian go by that he didn't like and rushed the fence. Unfortunately, he didn't stop in time and securely wedged his head between the bars of the fence. All it took was slight spreading with the jaws and he was free. Better yet, when the tension was released, the bars sprung back into place no worse for wear.

*Animal Rescue - Boa Constrictor Stuck Under Stove*
Resident was found lying on the floor holding the only visible 6 inches or so of this snake, crying and convinced he'd be "cooked" if he managed to get all the way under the stove. Our guys just pulled the stove away from the wall, and voila...rescued snake.

*Fire Now Out - Cigarette Left on Window Sill Looks Like an Attempt to Set Structure on Fire*
Need I say more?

*Assault - Male Age 77 Conscious Hit in the Head From Broom Handle by his 100 Year Old Mother*
Even the patient laughed about this one. He'd been delivering dinner to mom and scolded her for leaving the water running in the kitchen. Turned around to set dinner down, and BAM! Guess she still believes "spare the rod, spoil the child". Our biggest question was whether we should call Child Protective Services.

*Animal Rescue - Assist Resident with Placing Boxer Dog Into Her Vehicle; Dog is in Seizure and She Needs to Take Him to the Vet*
Believe it or not, we had an engine and an ambulance toned out for this. We got on-scene to find the resident gone.

*Vegetation Fire - Palm Fronds Burning from Falling on Power Lines*
This one was funny just because of the circumstances. Came in last Christmas night, and it was pouring down rain. We all scratched out heads, but responded anyway. One FF driving to the station happened to go down the street the call was on, and before he realized what he was doing, he drove over the burning palm frond and extinguished it with his tire!


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## cbdemt (Nov 19, 2004)

> _Originally posted by MMiz_@Nov 18 2004, 01:56 AM
> * Must... resist... redneck... jokes.
> 
> :lol:   *


 You and me both!


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## rescuecpt (Nov 21, 2004)

> _Originally posted by DonQ_@Nov 13 2004, 03:26 AM
> * Mather hosp we are enroute to your facility with 2 patients, the first complaining of resp distress, and psychiatric emergency, the 2nd c/o psychiatric emergency, our ETA...
> Not soon enough.. er 5 min. *


 Hahaha, that's my backyard!  I did a quick google and it lookes like the only Mather is the one near me.  Hehehe...  wasn't me though.

PS - We once got called to find a members lost dog - we have a lot of wooded undeveloped areas... we conducted quite a search - didn't find the dog though - he was found a day or two later... but boy did we get a lot of shizzle from other departments, specifically the dept that dispatches for us...


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## lilemt156 (Nov 30, 2004)

County Dispatch- Elkhorn fire-rescue please respond to a gas leak on uranus road...
2697 to county is this up your uranus or down?


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## PArescueEMT (Nov 30, 2004)

Must... resist... Alien Probe... jokes.

 :lol:


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## ma2va92 (Dec 1, 2004)

not even going to go there......

rule change for all citys and town.... say the name of the street.. several ways in public.. before using it... if ya don't get slapped.. it's a ok name to use


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## DonQ (Dec 2, 2004)

> _Originally posted by PArescueEMT_@Nov 30 2004, 10:29 PM
> * Must... resist... Alien Probe... jokes.
> 
> :lol:   *


  hahaha


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## EMTstudent (Dec 2, 2004)

OMG - I am dying here!!!!!   :lol:

I can't wait to get into the field so I can have my own stories!!!


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## kyleybug (Dec 2, 2004)

A few weeks ago someone got ahold of one of the radios for central and was playing with it. We all think it was a couple of teens, they kept dispatching to the local donut shop. Then tried to dispatch medic units for a pt that had fallen and couldn't get up, little did they know we are called by phone, not by radio for initial dispatch. After a while they just got vulgar. It made for an interesting night they had the radio for hours, I never did hear if they caught them or not, probably the Cheifs kid and his friends. One that was cute.....thye sent an officer out to a cemetery for a body........I guess he found alot of them!


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## Summit (Dec 8, 2004)

Dispatch: "Search and Rescue Coordinator contact dispatch for hikers lost somewhere in xxx county"
Rescue XX: "Uh... OK"

---

When did they leave? Who knows.

Where did they go to hike? Who knows.

Call was by a bedridden person. When the SO showed up to gather more info, it turned out the "missing hikers" were just downstairs.


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