# Top Ten Ways to Tell the Economy is Affecting Your EMS System



## imurphy (Apr 15, 2009)

(Shamelessly yoinked from here)

10. Your department still sends you to major EMS conferences...but with exhibit hall passes only. And the boss orders you to ''come back with enough schwag to stock all the trucks.''

9. The new trauma bags for your truck have ''EMS EXPO 2005'' embroidered on them.

8. Your system’s CFO starts hoarding canned food and shotguns.

7. Your new analgesia protocol consists of a whittled stick and instructions for the patient to ''bite down hard.''

6. The addition of Plavix to your ACS protocol has been scrapped in favor of medical leeches.

5. When having maintenance done on your truck, your fleet mechanic tells you, “Brakes, siren or tires. Pick any two.”

4. The fire department saves all of the used cooking oil from the EMS Week fish fry for conversion to bio-diesel.

3. You’ve heard your managers refer to your trucks as rolling billboards numerous times, but you start your shift one day to discover that they have actually become rolling billboards. Now you promote job security of future EMTs by driving the #79 Anheuser Busch/Hardee's ambulance. And on the ceiling above the ambulance cot, there’s a decal that says, “If you can read this, you may be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! Call 1-800-SUE-THEM and we’ll get you paid!”

2. The local nursing home catches your operations manager lacing cans of Ensure with antifreeze, while muttering something about “needing more dialysis patients.”

1. Your new trainee paramedic looks suspiciously like the CEO of General Motors.


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## HotelCo (Apr 16, 2009)

Haha. Very nice. I especially like #3.


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## RDUNNE (Apr 16, 2009)

haha i love number 5.


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## NEMed2 (Apr 16, 2009)

Is it bad that I've actually heard #2 & 5 before?


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## STATION4 (Apr 17, 2009)

Nice post imurphy.all good


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## lightsandsirens5 (Apr 17, 2009)

I'd love to try #7! Can you imagine the look on someones face?


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## trevor1189 (Apr 17, 2009)

imurphy said:


> (Shamelessly yoinked from here)
> 
> 10. Your department still sends you to major EMS conferences...but with exhibit hall passes only. And the boss orders you to ''come back with enough schwag to stock all the trucks.''
> 
> ...



Haha that's great! ^_^


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## exodus (Apr 17, 2009)

> 3. You’ve heard your managers refer to your trucks as rolling billboards numerous times, but you start your shift one day to discover that they have actually become rolling billboards. Now you promote job security of future EMTs by driving the #79 Anheuser Busch/Hardee's ambulance. And on the ceiling above the ambulance cot, there’s a decal that says, “If you can read this, you may be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! Call 1-800-SUE-THEM and we’ll get you paid!”




LOL. Actually, our NICU ambulance is branded by UCSD  ! So on the sides there's a big huge UCSD logo, and on the doors is our logo!


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## fortsmithman (Apr 17, 2009)

Funny post.


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## Sasha (Apr 18, 2009)

> 3. You’ve heard your managers refer to your trucks as rolling billboards numerous times, but you start your shift one day to discover that they have actually become rolling billboards. Now you promote job security of future EMTs by driving the #79 Anheuser Busch/Hardee's ambulance. And on the ceiling above the ambulance cot, there’s a decal that says, “If you can read this, you may be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! Call 1-800-SUE-THEM and we’ll get you paid!”  .



Here, the ambulance that FH-South/Disney Children's Hospital operates for their critical care pediatric transfers has the face of some basketball player on the sides


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## Mountain Res-Q (Apr 18, 2009)

Sasha said:


> Here, the ambulance that FH-South/Disney Children's Hospital operates for their critical care pediatric transfers has the face of some basketball player on the sides



An ambulance company just down the hill from me does something interesting.  They don't have a standard coloring on thier rigs.  They use the colors of local elementary schools and High Schools.  This means that none of teh ambulances look alike and most look horrible.  Brugandy and gold, teal and red, forest green and purple, etc...  Just think of some of the color combinatins schools in your area use and try painting the stripes and such in those colors on your rigs.  Ocasionally you see one that looks good, but not often.  :unsure:


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## Foxbat (Apr 18, 2009)

imurphy said:


> You heard your managers refer to your trucks as rolling billboards numerous times, but you start your shift one day to discover that they have actually become rolling billboards


In 1990s, when Russian economy was in really, I mean really bad shape, it was not uncommon for Russian ambulances to carry advertising of insurance companies. I don't think they do this anymore.


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## guardian528 (Apr 19, 2009)

3 is the greatest, because you can definitely see something like that happening in today's lawsuit filled world


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