# 6 Life Saving Techniques From the Movies (That Can Kill You)



## LucidResq (Jun 22, 2010)

From a completely non-medical humor site. 

Thought it was pretty funny and pretty accurate considering the authors are almost certainly laypersons.... 

About wedging things in a seizing person's mouth... 



> While we would all appreciate a good excuse to ram random objects into strangers' mouths, it turns out that it's medically impossible to swallow your own tongue. So all that stuff you did to help that seizing man in Wal-Mart was technically sexual assault.





> Really, unless you are a trained EMT the only thing you should do is protect the victim's head and wait for the ambulance to arrive.


----------



## katgrl2003 (Jun 22, 2010)

I really like this response



> so defib are really just the medical equivalent of the old "have you tried turning it off and on again?" tech support line?



-Kat


----------



## TransportJockey (Jun 22, 2010)

I'm loving this line. Such vivid imagery, I can almost picture doing it 


> Without immediate medical attention, shooting someone in the leg can cause more blood loss than tossing a hemophiliac orphan through a plate glass window.


----------



## katgrl2003 (Jun 22, 2010)

^^ How did I miss that one?!


----------



## Epi-do (Jun 22, 2010)

LOL!  That's great!


----------



## LucidResq (Jun 22, 2010)

Hahaha I missed that comment, brilliant!


----------



## nemedic (Jun 23, 2010)

"...why are there chunks of ferret in this man's mouth?"


----------



## nemedic (Jun 23, 2010)

"...tourniquet that stops the rampant blood flow and keeps the victim alive. If the victim is a blonde, your reward shall be boobies."


----------



## Aprz (Jun 23, 2010)

So freak'n funny...

also...

"And trust us, no matter how perfectly sculpted your abs might be, causing a girl to lose a body part is pretty much the ultimate turn-off."


----------



## medichopeful (Jun 23, 2010)

nemedic said:


> "...why are there chunks of ferret in this man's mouth?"



That one killed me lol


----------



## johnrsemt (Jun 23, 2010)

this is so wrong,   but so funny


----------



## Steffah (Jun 26, 2010)

Freaking hilarious, and very true.


----------



## usafmedic45 (Jun 26, 2010)

> Without immediate medical attention, shooting someone in the leg can cause more blood loss than tossing a hemophiliac orphan through a plate glass window.



Actually bleeding to death from an extremity injury below the knee or elbow is very rare.    Nice visual though.  

Also pretty much everything they say in the section on tourniquets is an utter load of crap.  The rate of complications is so low as to be frankly non-existent.  It's disgusting to see that outdated and patently incorrect information is still being put forth as fact.  True, trying to improvise a tourniquet usually does not work but it's because you don't achieve sufficient force to staunch the bleeding.  A nice review of the subject was published a couple of years back that looked at all of the evidence from ancient Greece and Rome through the date of publication (2007).  Here's the high points:


> - Emergency medical personnel, both civilian and military,
> should be trained in and equipped for the proper use
> of tourniquets; the focus of first aid training for civilian
> populations should continue to deemphasize their use
> ...


----------



## LucidResq (Jun 26, 2010)

I was just waiting for someone to crap all over this with "Actually.... science says..."


----------



## usafmedic45 (Jun 26, 2010)

Not trying to crap all over it...just didn't want the impressionable newbies and others on this site with educational deficits to believe that crap.  Carry on....


----------



## Veneficus (Jun 26, 2010)

"With this wonderful piece of modern medical technology, we are able to laugh in the face of death, then spit in it, make obscene phone calls to his wife three in the morning, steal his newspaper and :censored::censored::censored::censored: on his porch. With science."

I like this part the best, it could almost be a sig line.

(which I never use because my sarcastic biting humor would constantly get me banned on just about every internet forum)


----------



## lightsandsirens5 (Jun 26, 2010)

usafmedic45 said:


> Actually bleeding to death from an extremity injury below the knee or elbow is very rare.  Nice visual though.


 
Who said it was below the knee? 

Lucid, hilarious link.....too many good ones to list a favorite.


----------

