# YOU MAY BE AN EMS TICK IF



## TTLWHKR (May 7, 2005)

You not only have EMS plates on your car but also have three red lights on the dash.

You have a bumper sticker that says "I stop for all auto accidents."

You have a license plate holder that says "My other car is an ambulance."

Your personal vehicle has ever been mistaken for an EMS chase car.

Your neighbors called the cops because you left the scanner on in your car and they're tired of hearing every call being dispatched.

Your scanner has 100 channels and you have managed to fill every one of them.

You have more tools on your belt than an electrician.

Every time you walk you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You have more than five patches on your EMS uniform.

You get rear-ended in an auto accident and the accident scene looks like an ER exploded from your first aid kit in the trunk.

You get rear-ended in an auto accident and the accident looks like an EMS supply store exploded.

You have more T-shirts that say "I love EMS" or "Aircare Medical Evac" than plain T-shirts.

You have underwear with little "stars of life" on it.

Half of your wardrobe has blood stains on it.

You have a "Star of Life" tattooed somewhere on your body.

Not only does your watch tell the time but it has a pulse timer that will count in 5, 10, 15, 30 and 60 second intervals and will take your blood pressure.

You pull out your pocket knife and it has more gadgets on it than 007's.

You carry a teddy bear on the unit for when you get pediatric calls.

You've ever told a patient to "get off your *** and walk to the unit."

You have ever shown pictures from auto accidents like other people show vacation pictures.

You have a sticker anywhere on your car that says either "Emergency Medical Technician" or "Paramedic."

You've ever referred to women in EMS as "Band-Aid Bunnies."

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is giving you than he can.

You've ever thought a blood pressure cuff would be an excellent gift for Christmas.

You've ever spent more money on a stethoscope than on a car payment.

You think those blue BDU pants with the EMS pocket are okay to wear out on a date.

You've ever been telling EMS stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw-up.

Your family stopped talking to you because every time you open your mouth it sounds like a recital from a medical dictionary.

You write an EMS report and have to translate it to your officer because of all the EMS acronyms in it.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you joined the Rescue Squad.

You think it is acceptable to use "penis" and "vagina" in a normal conversation.

Nobody will ride in your car with you because they say you drive like you're going to an EMS call.

You have a special pair of driving gloves and glasses for when you are in the ambulance.

You've ever run out of church because your monitor went off.

You run out of a restaurant for a call and come back afterwards to find that they not only saved your food for you but also rewarmed it when they saw you pull up out front.

You've ever tried to write off on your taxes the mileage spent going back and forth to the department.

You've ever tried to write off all those T-shirts with EMS logos as business clothes on your taxes.

Nobody knows what color your hair is because you refuse to take off your "________ Rescue Squad" hat.

You've ever forgotten your wedding anniversary because you had duty that night.

You've ever told a fast food place that you want your food "For here, to go" in case you get a call.

You look in your closet and can't find anything non-EMS to wear.

Your alarm clock's alarm sounds like the station tones for Station 51.

You think Johnny and Roy are Medic Gods.

You have never missed an episode of RESCUE 911, ER, or COPS.

You've been looking everywhere for old copies of EMERGENCY.

You've ever had to call an ambulance to pick up one of your members at a Squad function.

You've ever wondered whether it would be legal to keep a defibrillator in the trunk of your car.

You've ever raised your hands to heaven and said "These hands have been touched by God."

Every magazine in your house has the word EMS in the title.

GALLS sends you a Christmas card.

JEMS sends you a birthday card.

"Trawling for Trauma" is your favorite saying.

You've ever referred to a code as a "GOOD CALL."

The cops have ever shown up at the Rescue Squad looking for you because your mother/spouse hasn't seen you in a month.

You get more EMS E-mail over the Internet than you get regular mail.

You have a 3-pound belt buckle with the picture of an ambulance or "Star of Life" on it.

You've ever told anyone in pain to "stop being a baby and deal with it."

You've ever told a patient to "stop faking it."

Your squad painted your name under the driver's side window on the ambulance.

You carry more gloves on you than a proctologist does.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

Your back pocket bulges all the time because of the EMS field guide you keep in it.

The Squad raids the trunk of your car once a month looking for EMS supplies.


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## Jon (May 7, 2005)

You go by the nickname/screenname "whackerdude" "Medicstudent" or even have FD, FC, EMT, EMS or Medic as part of it...


jon


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## MedicPrincess (May 7, 2005)

> _Originally posted by TTLWHKR_@May 7 2005, 08:41 PM
> * Every time you walk you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
> 
> You've ever told a patient to "get off your *** and walk to the unit."
> ...


Is there something wrong with these???

The others, I cannot relate to....

except this one..



> *You go by the nickname/screenname "whackerdude" "Medicstudent" or even have FD, FC, EMT, EMS or Medic as part of it...*




and as far as this one..



> *You think those blue BDU pants with the EMS pocket are okay to wear out on a date.*



You guys' butts' look so yummy in those pants  

BUT...what I really need to know is....what is a TICK...is that like a whacker? or an EMS Redneck?


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## TTLWHKR (May 8, 2005)

IDK what a tick is, except the bug...

I found it while searching for the defib paddle for elmo


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## rescuejew (May 8, 2005)

thats so funny...lol...and I have to say, theres only 20 or so that I do, on a regular basis...lol  

Thanks, whacker, for showing me that I'm not alone...


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## Luno (May 8, 2005)

Yeah, well, I guess that new tattoo is out....


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## emtbuff (May 8, 2005)

Yea I would have to agree I would fit about 20 or more of these two.  But hey there is nothing wrong with loving what you do maybe thats why I am always busy.  Cause when you say you aren't busy you end up busy.  Or so it seems.


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## Margaritaville (May 9, 2005)

Hey,

What's wrong with telling patients to get their "*** in the Ambulance"?

It can be very effective!!


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## CodeSurfer (May 10, 2005)

You mean that list isnt protocol? Dammit!


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