# Things not to say during a delivery.



## JPINFV (Jun 2, 2008)

http://xkcd.com/431/


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## mikeylikesit (Jun 3, 2008)

Family guy..."it's a girl...but it has a penis, well we will just have to take care of that(grabbing the scalpel)" or "I'm trying to push...but it won't go back in"


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## karaya (Jun 3, 2008)

Things not to say: Oops!


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## Onceamedic (Jun 3, 2008)

if you drop the baby, pretend you're having a seizure...


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## paramedix (Jun 3, 2008)

ha ha ha ha


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## LIFESAVER4U (Jun 3, 2008)

holy crap theres more in there!


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## JPINFV (Jun 3, 2008)

Since when did you become a clown car?


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## Contadinella (Jun 21, 2008)

How it works in British Hospitals the Python Way:

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=lxOu1DyVQV8

I want a machine doing *piiing* :huh:

Conta


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## fma08 (Jun 24, 2008)

it can't hurt that bad....


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## Airwaygoddess (Jun 24, 2008)

WHOOPS!! ^_^^_^^_^


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## Airwaygoddess (Jun 24, 2008)

*That is why they call it labor!*

No even better..........  Oh you won't need any pain medication!!...... YEAH RIGHT!!!<_<


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## firetender (Jul 17, 2008)

"Sure doesn't look like you, Sir!"


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## NJN (Jul 17, 2008)

Contadinella said:


> How it works in British Hospitals the Python Way:
> 
> http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=lxOu1DyVQV8
> 
> ...




LMAO, great stuff.


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## mikeylikesit (Jul 17, 2008)

Fumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## himynameismj (Jul 18, 2008)

Wait a minute.. do I know you? Did we date in college?
I would know this :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: anywhere!


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## fma08 (Jul 18, 2008)

(from Austin Powers)

i want my baby back baby back baby back...

c'mere i'm gonna eat ya!


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## Airwaygoddess (Jul 18, 2008)

Whoops!!  Wrong end!!!


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## Epi-do (Jul 19, 2008)

Kaisu said:


> if you drop the baby, pretend you're having a seizure...



Funny you post this.  It has sort of been an unofficial motto for my medic class.


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## Onceamedic (Jul 19, 2008)

I used to think it was hilarious... and then I almost dropped the baby... 	:unsure:

Nice to see you posting epi - how's medic school going?


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## Bosco578 (Jul 20, 2008)

Why is the baby's head all squishy.........Ahhhhhhhhhhh Alien Baby.....


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## Epi-do (Jul 20, 2008)

It is getting very close to being over!!!  I have all my clinical and field rotations completed, all of my skills are done as well.  Tomorrow we have PALS and the following Monday is oral boards with our medical director.  The class final is Aug. 11 and then we have PHTLS two weeks later.  Our Registry practical is scheduled for the first Saturday in September.  

I swear, it has seemed like both the longest and shortest year of my life, simultaniously.  It will be good to get everything done and get through the testing so I can move on to actually functioning as a rookie medic.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled thread....


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## Medic Morgan (Jul 21, 2008)

*damn*



JPINFV said:


> Since when did you become a clown car?



HA!!! i almost just fell out of my chair


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## aussieemt1980 (Jul 25, 2008)

When patient's mother says "I don't know how she got pregnant - what are you doing looking out the window?" try not to reply with "The last time this happened, there was a star in the east and 3 wise men, and all I see is a bunch of weird guys - is it possible that it may explain it if you don't accept the original explanation?"


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## mikeylikesit (Jul 25, 2008)

aussieemt1980 said:


> When patient's mother says "I don't know how she got pregnant - what are you doing looking out the window?" try not to reply with "The last time this happened, there was a star in the east and 3 wise men, and all I see is a bunch of weird guys - is it possible that it may explain it if you don't accept the original explanation?"


 ROTFLMAO:lol::lol::lol:


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## EMT hopeful (Jul 30, 2008)

*Lmao*

i almost pissed myself


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## KEVD18 (Jul 30, 2008)

"oh jesus, we better go. call for backup. its coming. hold her down"
"my god frank, what the hell is that"
"its three legs"
"th-th-thats too many"

bonus points for anybody that can place the reference


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## emtjen15 (Aug 7, 2008)

It's a girl!!
No, wait, never mind, it is a boy!!!


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## BossyCow (Aug 8, 2008)

KEVD18 said:


> "oh jesus, we better go. call for backup. its coming. hold her down"
> "my god frank, what the hell is that"
> "its three legs"
> "th-th-thats too many"
> ...



Hmmm Men in Black?


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## MMiz (Aug 8, 2008)

KEVD18 said:


> "oh jesus, we better go. call for backup. its coming. hold her down"
> "my god frank, what the hell is that"
> "its three legs"
> "th-th-thats too many"
> ...


Bringing out the Dead?


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## Airwaygoddess (Aug 9, 2008)

Men In Black.....Now that is a funny movie! ^_^^_^


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## ulrik (Aug 9, 2008)

whats the red stuff all over your shirt?


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## emt19723 (Aug 12, 2008)

i almost said this to my first pt......"youre not pregnant??? then whats this two legs and a penis coming out at me?

she swore to me that she wasnt pregnant    lol


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## Onceamedic (Aug 12, 2008)

emt19723 said:


> she swore to me that she wasnt pregnant    lol



Then there is the girl that delivered in the ED - seconds after delivery, she started screaming that it wasn't hers.  Her mother demanded to know what we had done to her daughter because that baby wasn't hers....


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## emt19723 (Aug 12, 2008)

good lord!!    lol    i dont feel so bad now


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