# Do you ever get used to the dead people?



## gillysaurus (Sep 20, 2008)

Hey y'all.

So I'm still a new EMT-Basic, fresh off the course August of this year. I just started interning with my county's ambulance company, and it seems like I'm always the cardiac arrest "charm". Whenever I'm on... BAM... Cardiac arrest! But it gets worse... I'm also the DNR "charm" or the trauma arrest "charm" or any other kind of bad luck charm you can think of. 

So we'll get to an arrest and my paramedic will just have to call it right there because the person is in asystole or has a DNR or whatever. And that person is just lying there, cyanotic and creepy looking, with their eyes open and fixed on the ceiling. Maybe it's the fact that their eyes are still open that's the worst, but I can never seem to shake that awful "holy mother of God, they're dead. D-E-D, dead!" feeling whenever I see a body.

This is making my EMS career really challenging on a personal level. I knew this was going to happen, but I guess no amount of class can prepare you for the things you may see or feel in the field. I have a support group of friends to talk to whenever I feel like I'm dealing with anything beyond my understanding, but still... Does the really awful feeling you feel whenever you see a dead person ever go away? Is there a "right" and a "wrong" way to deal with patient death? Is it normal to feel this way, being so new and all?

Hm. That's much longer than I thought it would be, but I want some input, especially from other EMTs like everyone here.

Thanks ^_^


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## pumper12fireman (Sep 20, 2008)

Just out of curiosity, how many DOAs/codes are we talking about here?? 

In my ~8 months of having my license and paramedic class I've seen a few grim scenes. It's one of those things, you take it in, and try and let it go. Do I ever forget those calls, or what those people looked like? No, not really. But, I take solace in the fact that for those few people that we couldn't save, or got there too late, there's tons more that we did get there in time and make a difference.. Also, without dragging religion into this, I feel that there are some people who's time has just ran out.


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## KEVD18 (Sep 20, 2008)

it doesnt bother me.

my first emt class, i got the "its not your emergency" speech. of all the lectures ive gotten in basic school, medic school, and all the con ed classes ive taken, ive never taken one more to heart than that one.

you cant save them all. for the ones you cant save, you have to remember that you didnt kill them and its not your fault they are dead. carrying around the ones you didnt save will get you nothing more than a substance abuse problem and an early exit to another field.


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## Oregon (Sep 20, 2008)

However you feel, that's normal for you, so stop worrying how other people react.
As far as there being a "right" way or a "wrong" way, well..."wrong" would probably be screaming and running (if I have learned anything from horror movies.)
It sounds like you are doing some healthy things, have you tried talking with whoever you are partnered with at the time?  Online people are fine, but face to face may be the better way to go when talking about stuff that is bugging you.
What exactly is bothering you about dead people?  I know you mentioned the eyes open thing, but it seemed mostly the idea of a dead person more than the body itself.   Are you close to any classmates or your former instructor?
They might be good to speak with if you want to avoid talking to your coworkers.


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## MedicPrincess (Sep 20, 2008)

For me the hard part is getting the "I'm sorry to have to tell you ..... " speech out and still make it sound like I care about their personal agony.  Sounds harsh, I know.  But to know me is to understand me.

After calling DOA 7 times in 5 shifts, I got a little perturbed that it just seemed like I could not get a living breathing patient....but the actual dead bodies didn't bother me.

Generally there is something on the scene that sticks with me.  The 9 kids standing there on the beach watching....  The 8 little dogs laying on the couch watching us work like they almost understood what was going on.... The wife who started throwing things at me.... The guests at the wedding reception who continued on with the toasts while we worked as if we weren't there.... The wife who screamed at me "You don't do that to someone who is alive!!" after seeing me defib her hubby.....  

You just have to find an outlet for it if it bothers you.  My old partner used to cry after every code we had.  She would hug the family and cry with them for what seemed like forever.  We could not clear a hospital in under an hour after a code while she cried with the family.  But when she was done, she was better.  I get ice cream (but I get ice cream for a lot of reasons).... for I am convinced Ice Cream can fix everything that ailes you....  some people work out....  

You just have to find what works for you.


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## Ridryder911 (Sep 20, 2008)

Okay, did somewhere during your training of cardiac arrest, trauma, sick and injured they forgot to tell you that people don't look the best as they are dying? ...

Sorry, but if you knew "_that this was going to happen_"; why did you pursue and continue? 

Maybe as discussed previously discussing with others or seriously even a trained person such as a clergy, funeral director, professional person can assist to relieve the "fear factor". I wished it was not part of the job, but it is and in most busy systems a routine one. Yes, we have to deal with the dead as well as the living...no matter what condition or presentation they may present themselves in. 

Time to do some soul searching before getting into it to deep. As stated it *really is their emergency. *

R/r 911


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## reaper (Sep 20, 2008)

As stated remember two things.

1. It is not your emergency

2. a Klondike bar can fix anything!


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## Sapphyre (Sep 20, 2008)

Honestly, I go with a big piece of cake, and a large bowl of french vanilla ice cream, with strawberry sauce and whipped cream.


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## pumper12fireman (Sep 20, 2008)

MedicPrincess said:


> Generally there is something on the scene that sticks with me.  The 9 kids standing there on the beach watching....  The 8 little dogs laying on the couch watching us work like they almost understood what was going on.... The wife who started throwing things at me.... The guests at the wedding reception who continued on with the toasts while we worked as if we weren't there.... The wife who screamed at me "You don't do that to someone who is alive!!" after seeing me defib her hubby.....




This is very true. It's not so much the dead people that bothers me. People die. Sometimes, it's those weird things you seem to notice. I still remember after my first code I was riding in the back to the station (long story), and the sun was just rising. I had seen the reflection that the star of life on the back door makes on the inside of the rig a million times. But, for some reason, when I saw it that morning, it meant something special.


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## LucidResq (Sep 20, 2008)

This sounds really generic but it often helps to talk things over with a person who understands... preferably someone in the field that you're at least somewhat close to. 

My best friend who works in the ER called me one morning after she worked her second code on a 10 yo girl that was really fishy and raised a bunch of suspicion of child abuse. We didn't really talk about her feelings or anything deep, but she told me after the fact that just relating that story to someone who would understand the gravity of the child's death but not blow it out of proportion really helped her. 

Maybe starting this thread has been a little therapeutic?


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## mycrofft (Sep 20, 2008)

*Are you afraid of corpses?*

Some folks can't stop thinking of corpses as people. They are remains, the spark has gone. We render dignity to them as a social bonder for the rest of us. The "creepy", I think, is partly due to our media representations of corpses (after all, a realistic corpse isn't very dramatic, usually), and a hardwired aversion to stay away from dead folks might be pro-survival because you may be avioding what got them.
(Someone referred to the 'cop-o-meter", wherein unprotected law enforcement officers dead at the scene are an indication you need to get your airpack on and your radiation detector warmed up. Same deal).


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## gillysaurus (Sep 20, 2008)

Ridryder911 said:


> Sorry, but if you knew "_that this was going to happen_"; why did you pursue and continue?



I knew you were going to say that, Rid! What I meant by "knowing it was going to happen" was knowing that people would die and I would see it. What I didn't know was how I was going to react. 

I think you hit it on the head, Oregon, with my creeped out feeling being about the *idea* of a dead person and not the actual body itself. I guess, for some reason, I just expect to be able to lift them up and do stuff with them, and they'll be okay! It's so weird to have to comprehend that they're not moving, and will NOT move ever again. So strange!

Maybe I'm just very afraid of death itself. I don't know.

It has been therapeutic to read this!


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## traumateam1 (Sep 21, 2008)

I've said this before and I'll say it again, I know people don't agree with this, but it sure helps me. I did two things to get ready for the dead ones.

*One:* Before I became EMS I worked for a funeral home and embalming company. I told them what I planned on doing (EMS) and that I wanted some experience, so the first dead person I saw wasn't in front of a family and I give that "OH S:censored::censored::censored:" look. I got some first hand experience doing a some body pick ups, then I worked in the embalming room observing and help where I was allowed. This really really helped me get over the dead people thing. Having to close the peoples eyes, undress them, wash them down, shave them and then re dress them (for viewings). This worked, like I said, very well... now I can face a dead person no problem. After a while it just doesn't phase you anymore.
*Second:* I have gotten rid of all emotions. It's a hard one to explain. I don't treat people like complete cr**, but I just don't let a severely angulated arm or leg and the p/t screaming get to me, I do my job and what has to be done without stopping or getting distracted by the patient screaming at the top of his/her lungs. Likewise when I arrive on the scene of a cardiac arrest and I have family freaking out, or I have to call it (DNR, No CPR Order..) it doesn't bother me as much.
Now *don't* get me wrong, I still do have emotions and some things will get to me after the call, like many people.

My suggestion:
Try and take a few shifts in a morgue or embalming room. Get as much dead person exposure as you can, the more exposure you have the sooner you will be able to "get over it". I know many people will disagree with me, but it worked for me. What worked for me may not work for you. In any event I hope you are able to get over your fear of the dead, it will allow you to enjoy your job a lot more, and not be dreading the next cardiac arrest call.

Take care, and be safe!


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## rhan101277 (Sep 21, 2008)

I wonder how I am going to deal with this as well.  Guess I will see, but everyone is going to die one day.  That is why it is good to have faith in something.

On a side note I like lucid's south park avatar.


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## Flight-LP (Sep 21, 2008)

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die................


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## EMTCop86 (Sep 21, 2008)

It's not the dead ones you need to worry about, its the living ones that will get ya!


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## marineman (Sep 21, 2008)

I agree with trauma team 100%. Mass exposure to dead bodies will really help get you over your troubles. Also like was said you need to distance yourself from the patients emotionally whether they're living or dead. I don't mean treat them like crap with no empathy but don't ever get emotionally vested in a patient. I forget the exact quote but one of the cheesy but true lines from Dr. Cox on scrubs said we don't joke because we don't care, we make jokes to distance ourselves from the patients. If it takes a little well placed gallows humor to help distance yourself then by all means that's fine whatever you have to do.


Edit: A couple things I forgot to add, I've been in the field for 5 years (as a first responder, EMT for about a year) and I remember every PNB I've had. It's not something I think about or keep in the front of my mind but tucked way in the back I can picture almost the exact scene from every one. The most important part to remember in this job is there's no homework, when you're done on shift you forget 100% of what happened during that shift or you will go absolutely crazy thinking about the what if's.


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## Ridryder911 (Sep 21, 2008)

We joke to displace ourselves and to remove ourselves from the situation if only temporary. This is only appropriate around other professionals at appropriate times, when tension, or the feeling of irregularity. There is a time and place... sometimes it works and sometimes it can make it worse. Working with mass numbers of dead people will not help and possibly could even cause long term problems. I can say, even I do not like being around dead people, does it creep me? Sometimes.. you bet. Does it interfere with my performance, never. I can probably say, I have seen thousands of dead people over the years.

There is a fine line of between being "creeped" and "being bothered" as well as displacement of the situation and being immuned. It is a normal healthy feeling to displace one self from the body and the soul of the patient, always remembering though it is a persons shell/body and should be respected as such. Again, it is someones loved one, and should be treated with respect. Once you really of a persons remains as "meat" or other non-person, it is time to leave the business. 

I have seen "jaded" experienced personal handling the remains, and nothing irritates me more to see a body treated disrespectful. 

It takes time to learn to deal with situations. Some deal with things faster than others. If it really is bothering and interfering with your performance, then seek professional help (nothing wrong with that) and possibly think of another career. If it is only a temporary creepy feeling, then discuss with others and realize you will cope with it as it arrives. 

Good luck, 

R/r 911


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## EMTCop86 (Sep 21, 2008)

There is a lot of great advice here, take it! I have seen many dead people as a result of being a volunteer firefighter. I have had a couple bother me. One was my very first call and it was a 4 y/o DOA ejected from a T/C. The second one was working a code on a friend from high school. Hopefully you will learn to deal with it and move on and have a long healthy career. Best of luck!


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## emt19723 (Sep 21, 2008)

in the 7 years i have run ambulance, i have seen a lot of people die a bunch of different ways. anything from dying peacefully in their sleep, to very violent means. kids still seem to bother me the most.....as it would probably for anybody. you wouldnt be human if a dead child didnt weigh on you at least a little bit. BUT, if you feel that you are going to have a problem with it, thats what the CISDs(critical incident stress defbriefings) are for. and even if the call isnt enough to warrant a debreifing for your entire company, they should STILL pay to have you go and talk to a professional on your own. thats one reason ambulance companies have insurance....to help out their employees and vollies when they need it. dont be afraid to use those services.


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## Ridryder911 (Sep 21, 2008)

Sorry no employer is going to pay for anyone to go to Voodoo CISD or obtain professional help on natural causes of death, that is part of the job. Sorry its cheaper to get another EMT. Yes, they may have insurance (albeit it work men's comp) chances are it is NOT going to pay because you cannot deal with the part of your responsibilities of the job. Its not the employers fault.

Now, if it is an unusual, disastrous event, then that itself is another problem (I and many others still don't believe in CISD Voodoo medicine) get a licensed mental health professional to start counseling if needed. 

There are parts of this job, that is creepy, yucky and one may never get really used to. That is where one decides for themselves if it is worth it or not. Some cannot handle human excrements, body fluids, gross entanglements, and helpless victims of any age, again this is part of the job and learning how to effectively cope with it is part of it. 

As one gains more exposure, then one learns to detach themselves from the event more and more, as well as a professional detachment from the patient (still being treated, respected and thought of as a human) but  the key point is  empathetically not sympathetically. 

R/r 911


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## reaper (Sep 21, 2008)

Rid is right. You learn over time. Treat your pt with respect,compassion and empathy. When you are done, put them out of your mind and concentrate on the next pt.

Don't get me wrong. If I go back to the ED that night, I will check up on Pt's. This can make a Pt's day, that you took the time to check on them. If it was an unusual call, Then I want to know the results.

That said, I ran 4 codes last week. I cannot tell what one of those Pt's looked like. When I am done, I forget about them. If you work a natural death at a home, I will cover the body with a sheet or at least close their eyes. This is more for the family not having to stare at the body. If it is an unnatural death, then leave everything as it is. The ME needs to know what the scene looked like.

It is bad to say, but if you don't get over this feeling in the next few deaths you see. You need to find a new career. EMS is not for everyone. You have to be able to be almost heartless at times, just to survive!


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## PapaBear434 (Sep 21, 2008)

I must be a cold, and callous, because I don't hold it that much.  I mean, it sucks, but I guess I look at it like fate obviously had other plans.  But then, almost all of my patients that didn't make it have been elderly for the most part, so it was kind of easy to say that.

Only two times I got really choked up:  Once with a eighteen year old with Huntington's that caused her to fall down a flight of stairs and crack her head.  That was really bad.

But the worst was a four year old that was caught in a hit-and-run that didn't run so far (he was a punk teenager that ran into a tree half a block away trying to get away.)  She didn't die, but her mother, who did her best to shield her from the hit, did.  Dad had already died a few months earlier in Iraq, and now her mother is gone too, and here she was crying for her mommy while we tried to patch up her head wound.  

I have a four year old girl and a four month old girl myself.  So seeing this poor girl, the same age as my oldest and who had lost everything she held dear...  I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it.

I'm really new, too, but I can say it does get easier.  Not that the deaths get easier, mind you, but your ability to deal with them does.  Some people use gallows humor, some people go to counseling, and others go to the shooting range.  You just have to find what works for you.

I just went and played video games for a few hours after that poor girl.  Blowing up your friends into tiny smithereens is amazingly therapeutic.


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## traumateam1 (Sep 21, 2008)

PapaBear434 said:
			
		

> But the worst was a four year old that was caught in a hit-and-run that didn't run so far (he was a punk teenager that ran into a tree half a block away trying to get away.) She didn't die, but her mother, who did her best to shield her from the hit, did. Dad had already died a few months earlier in Iraq, and now her mother is gone too, and here she was crying for her mommy while we tried to patch up her head wound.


Wow that is sad -_- Poor girl, lost her father and mother at such a young age. Thats so unfortunate. 
Do you know how she's doing these days?


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## PapaBear434 (Sep 21, 2008)

Oh, I have no idea.  I stayed with her most of the night, and she did mention her Aunt and Uncle that lived around there but were in Ireland at the time of the accident.  Maybe she is living with them.

But after she left, I never heard from that again.  Maybe we'll get called for a criminal trial for the teenager that killed her Mom, but I doubt it.  They had enough witnesses.


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## RESQ_5_1 (Sep 21, 2008)

As I mentioned in another post, I worked LTC for 3 years. Prior to that, I served in Operations Desert Storm and Desert Shield. I have seen many dead people in many configurations. Luckily, I have the belief that there is a purpose to every death. I don't see the body as a "person". Only what remains of what that person was. The lifeforce is gone and that is the essence of the person I'm helping. I don't get "creeped" out (although I did the first couple or so). I stay focused on my job and do the best I can. I have no control over life and death (the realization of which seperates me from most paramedics). I can only do what I can do. If I can get over a 6 month old in full arrest, I can get over any death and continue to be an effective member of my service.


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## emt_angel25 (Sep 21, 2008)

believe me it does get easier....its just going to take sometime. and i still get that icky feeling when you call your pt and they are layin there all creepy and cyanotic. but it goes away. you got to seperate your self from your pts or this job will eat you alive. be empathetic but when your pt is out of your care let them go


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## VentMedic (Sep 21, 2008)

I would suggest that those of you who can not handle death, even from natural causes, not bother entering any other health profession inside of a hospital. Although as time goes by, you may find that life is full of experiences but good and bad. You have to choose if you are up to taking the good with the unpleasant. 

If you work in an ICU, you may watch a patient that should have died being kept alive until they literally will start to rot with many bodily fluids leaking through the skin. The odor may become too overwhelming for even the family to come near but they may still not want to give up hope. This can happen at all ages from the neonate to the elderly. 

You could also spent 12 hours/day and at least 3 days/week watching the family dynamics deteriorate. You will watch families breakdown emotionally and will either try to gain strength from you which can be draining shift after shift or quietly die emotionally before your eyes. 

You may have to prepare the family for "the talk" with the doctors about ending life support and then be part of the follow through or prep for the withdrawal of equipment and meds. You may also be one of the team that will perform the withdrawal of equipment and meds while comforting the family as the patient gasps for his last breaths. This could seem like an eternity for both you and the family. Sometimes the end doesn't come quick enough. You may have to quickly up root the family and patient to be moved into a med-surg room to free up an ICU bed since diversion is now a big issue. 

No matter how many hundreds of times you are part of any end of life situation, there will be one patient that you may remember for awhile. The others are part of the duties that you have chosen to be part of when you decided to become a healthcare professional.


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## traumateam1 (Sep 21, 2008)

VentMedic said:
			
		

> I have no control over life and death (the realization of which seperates me from most paramedics). I can only do what I can do.


Amen Vent, a lot of people think that we ultimately have full control over a persons life.. and well that may be true on some calls, the majority of the calls we don't. We try what has been proven to work, but nothing we do is a 100% guarantee. A lot of people go thru the "if only I could have done ________" or "if only I had done ________" period, but we all gotta remember, whether we believe in God or not, when someone is "ready" to die, nothing we do will prevent that.


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## LucidResq (Sep 21, 2008)

rhan101277 said:


> On a side note I like lucid's south park avatar.



Haha thanks. I think it's more legit because I'm a CO native.


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## VentMedic (Sep 21, 2008)

_



I have no control over life and death (the realization of which seperates me from most paramedics). I can only do what I can do.

Click to expand...

_RESQ_5_1 wrote that. I was going to write that but he posted before me.


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## rjz (Sep 21, 2008)

Ridryder911 said:


> Sorry no employer is going to pay for anyone to go to Voodoo CISD or obtain professional help on natural causes of death, that is part of the job. Sorry its cheaper to get another EMT. Yes, they may have insurance (albeit it work men's comp) chances are it is NOT going to pay because you cannot deal with the part of your responsibilities of the job. Its not the employers fault.
> R/r 911



There are many employers that provide Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) for their employees, mine included. Our EAP is contracted out to a private company that deals with personal issues all the time. They have the resources to help you cope with the death of a pet, to a miscarriage, to being able deal with seeing dead people. Check it out with your employer, ask around the company and your work community. Employers provide (ie..pay for) these services to make you a better employee. Granted this job is stressful, and we are exepcted to deal with the stress. But just because you are having a hard time dealing with it now doesn't mean that you should get out now. Stick with it, try talking about it with people who can help, stay away from the negative and stick with the positive. Whatever you do don't burry it, keep the dialogue open. You have taken the first step by talking about your problem here. 

Myself I joke a lot about death and dying. This seems to keep it real for me and allows a way for me to vent my stress. Goodluck!!


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## MAC4NH (Sep 21, 2008)

VentMedic said:


> I would suggest that those of you who can not handle death, even from natural causes, not bother entering any other health profession inside of a hospital.



There have been many good posts with good advice on this thread but VentMedic's sums it up pretty well.  The pre-hospital environment is in some ways easier than the hospital because your contact with the dead and dying patients is for a relatively short time.  It is in some ways harder because you deal with them as they are, not in a clean bed hooked up to machines.  These patients may look gruesome, gross or serene depending on how they died.  

The important thing is to be able to function as an emergency medical provider.  You need to determine whether intervention is indicated and, if so, you must provide it.  

More importantly, you need to be there for the family, especially when no treatment is indicated.  What they need is a calm, caring professional who helps them deal with what is usually a traumatic event.  They need to be treated with respect and their loss needs to be acknowledged.  None of this is going to happen successfully if you have a problem with being around corpses.  

Everybody has their ways of dealing with this issue and the contributors to the thread made many good suggestions.  You don't have to enjoy it but you need to find a way to deal with it or you need to find another field.


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## Hastings (Sep 22, 2008)

DOA corpses actually creep me out. So cold and stiff. I admit to being creeped out by them. I like to keep my distance. It's all the zombie films, to be honest.


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## PapaBear434 (Sep 22, 2008)

Hastings said:


> DOA corpses actually creep me out. So cold and stiff. I admit to being creeped out by them. I like to keep my distance. It's all the zombie films, to be honest.



That is a wise course of action.  When the Zombie Wars come (and they *will*), one cannot be too cautious.


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## Ridryder911 (Sep 22, 2008)

rjz said:


> There are many employers that provide Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) for their employees, mine included. Our EAP is contracted out to a private company that deals with personal issues all the time. They have the resources to help you cope with the death of a pet, to a miscarriage, to being able deal with seeing dead people. Check it out with your employer, ask around the company and your work community. Employers provide (ie..pay for) these services to make you a better employee. Granted this job is stressful, and we are exepcted to deal with the stress. But just because you are having a hard time dealing with it now doesn't mean that you should get out now. Stick with it, try talking about it with people who can help, stay away from the negative and stick with the positive. Whatever you do don't burry it, keep the dialogue open. You have taken the first step by talking about your problem here.
> 
> Myself I joke a lot about death and dying. This seems to keep it real for me and allows a way for me to vent my stress. Goodluck!!



True there are some companies that offer that through an employee funded program. I have seen very few that do, as well offer excused time off to attend such. To me this would be similar to a medic having a hard time of seeing blood or injuries. What would we say to them? 

I agree some of this again, could be discussed and probably change within time of exposure and working within the system.

R/r 911


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## upstateemt (Sep 22, 2008)

Old dead is much easier than young dead.  But, dead is dead and as much a part of life as living and breathing.  After a certain amount of time (different for everyone) dead becomes easier to do.  

Feeling some emotion is not a bad thing, it keeps you empathetic.  If you are totally immune to any feelings in the presence of death I'm not sure you should stay in healthcare.


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## BossyCow (Sep 22, 2008)

Death is a part of life, we all go through it but our culture has made it something distasteful and something to delegate to others. In the old days, a valuable ritual in the grieving process was the washing of the dead, preparing them for burial. We were not afraid or creeped out by our dead. Now, we are called to remove the dying person to an institution, where they spend their final minutes with strangers, they are collected by the mortuary (more strangers) embalmed, dressed and placed into a coffin (more strangers) and presented to family and friends in as close to a lifelike appearance as possible. Personally I think that's sad. 

I've seen a lot of death. For the first few years of my EMT cert, it was a running joke that if I was called to an MVA they would either be standing around talking to us, unhurt, or they were dead.. no in between! For some reason the dead bodies have never gotten to me. The grief of a family can sometimes be difficult to witness because its so raw and powerful. Since I've lost both parents, a brother, a child and many, many friends, I have seen it from both sides. 

To me, what we see is just the meat suit, no longer needed by the soul who used to wear it. Respect for the deceased, empathy for the living, and time for yourself are the keys to getting past it. If this is a challenge for you, determine if its worth overcoming, if not, don't beat yourself up over it, just acknowledge that your talents are better suited for other lines of work and move on. It's not a failure to learn more about who you are.


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## mycrofft (Sep 22, 2008)

*But as to your original question...*

No.
They're always bumming a ride, then they want to work the siren, then when you tell them no, they make aspersions on your character by comparing you unfavorably to Nicholas Cage.
The dead! They ought be nailed into boxes and buried good and deep!

PS: BC, that ritual cleansing in Africa was key in spreading Ebola virus in a number of outbreaks. That and reusing syringes and needles...:sad:


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## medic_chick87 (Sep 23, 2008)

I still remember my first code. It was during my medic clinicals. I don't even know why we were even working the guy because he was blue from head to toe. But I still remember it. It was actually the first time i ever did cpr. Not to much later worked a 4month old. Blue guy didn't bother me; baby jacked me up. Baby calls still scare me to death, esecially since I can still see that little girls eyes and the formula that was coming up as I was bagging her. But the way I deal with the "everyday codes" is I don't view them as people, just empty shells. If that makes sence. The person who they were is gone now. Hope that helps. Just know that all of us are going through or have gone through the same thing you are. Wishing you all the best.


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## ErinCooley (Sep 29, 2008)

dead creeps me out... I don't like being around a dead body.  Period.

I DO my job appropriately and compassionately as needed, however I really prefer a breathing patient!!  I dont think I will ever get used to dead.

I had my first "floater" a few weeks ago.  He had been in the lake about 3 days.  I didnt barf, I will never eat fish again though.


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## PapaBear434 (Sep 29, 2008)

ErinCooley said:


> dead creeps me out... I don't like being around a dead body.  Period.
> 
> I DO my job appropriately and compassionately as needed, however I really prefer a breathing patient!!  I dont think I will ever get used to dead.
> 
> I had my first "floater" a few weeks ago.  He had been in the lake about 3 days.  I didnt barf, I will never eat fish again though.



I'll agree with you on that.  I don't LIKE to hang around dead bodies.  It is creepy, and I still get chills driving by a particularly large cometary.  But I am not disturbed or freaked out by it.

As far as the floater goes:  When I was going though the Police Academy (no, Steve Guttenburg was not there) we had to go to an autopsy.  The idea, I was told, was to desensitize us to the sight and smell of a dead body.  In actuality, I think it was to try and gross us out to the point of making us puke and/or quit.  The body we got was a man in his forties (not that you could tell anymore) that had been in the bay for almost a week.  

I managed to hold down my gorge.  And since then, I will still avoid bad smells but I have yet to feel sick by them.  And it's been almost eight years since that.  

Floaters are just terrible.  Eh...


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## 41 Duck (Sep 29, 2008)

Floaters are bad, yes.  So are the liquefied ones.  While they're not something I particularly look forward to, if I had a reliable source tell me the future, saying that this Friday I'd have a goopy one, I'd still go in.

You get used to it--or, probably more accurately, you develop coping mechanisms that make it a tolerable part of the job.

Dead's easy.  Living's the tough part.



Later!

--Coop


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## LAnel1 (Sep 30, 2008)

yes. you get used to it. There will always be times when seeing a dead body might bother you, especially if it reminds you of a past experience or even a person you know. You haven't had any mental breakdowns or flipped out at the sight of a dead person though, right? then you're doing just fine. =) You'll be saying "oohpa! and another bites the dust" in your head in no time... no worries.


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## Airwaygoddess (Sep 30, 2008)

*my thoughts.....*

Something that my father used to say, "Dying is harder on the living then on the dead."  It is interesting how we all come to what is our couping mechanism.  Much of it is what we have learned as a child and our life events growing up.  All I know is that that soul is no longer there, any pain and suffering is now gone.

  When I worked in the hospital, and we had a patient die, part of our job was doing post mortum care, this meant pulling tubes, and getting the expired patient cleaned up the body for family to view and say their good byes.  Now mind you, I would still talk to this body while providing care and granted I know they were dead, but for me this was the way that I would coupe with this, especially when I had cared for this patient for a period of time.  On one occasion, we had a patient expire in the ED, so I was in the room getting this expired patient cleaned up because family was in route, (code blue)  I was talking to the body saying I needed to get them all nice and clean for their family.  The funny part of all of that was that the family had gotten there before I was finished and was listening to me talk to their loved one.

  The family thanked me for being so kind and respectful to their loved one, it helped them with gaining peace that even though they did not get there in time to say good bye, that someone was was there so their family member was not alone.  Funny little things that help us coupe with the big picture that is called life..........-_-


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## MedicAngel (Sep 30, 2008)

Made me remember my first oh :censored::censored::censored::censored: code as a green EMT of 6 months. Was to one of our frequent flyers who had a lot of mental and emotional issues, we go running in, my paramedic calling out the ladies name and we find her in the living room in 3 flannel shirts, two blankets, and she stuffed herself into two sleeping bags then zipped it all up. She had taken a mass dose of all her medication and O.D'd, committing suicide. Course, her body was still warm so we worked her for about 45 minutes, in this time having loaded her up in the rig. While we were bagging her, this green foamy stuff was coming up and it smelled a lot like asparagus, took me about a year and a half to eat the vegetable after that! 

Another was a young girl, 18, had just graduated the day before from high school. She apparently was going down a hill at a high rate of speed, talking on her cell phone to, whom we found out later was her dad, with no seatbelt. Something caused her to swerve, she tried to correct it and flipped the explorer she was driving 4 times before it came to rest on its top. We believe, and bystanders back the story up, that on the 3rd revolution of the vehicle, she came out of the window and the vehicle landed on her, slid then flipped one more time. Text book step down of the back, crushed skull, broken femurs, both of them, etc...we helped the coroner roll the body over to take photos and at that point I had to look up and just blank my mind. 

Those two are the two really big calls that will stick in my mind. Did it bother me? Hell ya it did but I was also there to do a service to my community and I dealt with it. I keep a journal that I hide rather well and when I have calls that are very bothersome or really leave an impact, I find a quiet place and write them down in pretty graphic detail. It really helps me in that way to let go and find some therapy so to speak. 

I also work in the hospital and yes, I have shed tears over a few patients that have really tugged on my heartstrings. It is harder I think when you work with them for several weeks and then when you come back on shift a few days later your told they have passed away or they do go on your shift and you have to do the last bath and bag them up in the body bag, of whatever your hospitals protocol may be. I know my nurse and I almost dropped a woman as I had rolled her over to wash her back before we put the body back under her and her body let out a large pocket of air, so it sounded like she burped, and her body did shudder!! We looked at one another and started to laugh nervously. Other bodies have let out body fluids from the mouth, nose, and sometimes ears, depending on what their condition or diagnosis was.


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## sabbymedic (Sep 30, 2008)

I have been doing this job now for nine years and have been around it for approx. 18 years. Seeing someone dead to me is always a little unnerving because you are in a situation that most people are not. Does it get easier? Well for me I can tell you that it becomes more of a part of your job and life than OMG that person is dead. I usally turn my attention after a VSA to the family members present to make sure they are ok, kind of a way of refocusing my energy. Does it still bother me? Some of them do depending on how they died, but I do believe that you have to find a way of letting go and your support group of friends is a great idea. Keep it up you will find your way of dealing.


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## cakilcrease (Sep 30, 2008)

i think that what you are doing is one of the best things that you could do by talking about it.  not only is death a part of our job but it is also a part of everyday life.  for me i think that the biggest form of release is to remember that the body is just a container once it is empty then you can get no more from it.  the real person lives on in memories of the loved ones.  death only ends a life.  although life is a sacred thing we must understand that sometimes we a called upon to witness and sometimes comfort those "checking out".  eventually, yes you will get used to seeing dead bodies, and you might even become cold a callused like some medics i know.  but right now you need to learn as much as you can and never quit talking about it.


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## cricketfire46 (Sep 30, 2008)

The very first MVC i worked was the very first call i worked on the vol. fire dept that i am on. it was a close friend of mine that was the pt. i was however, even knowing that this was a close friend, able to carry out my required tasks and help with the extrication of my friend. i have now been in the EMS business for about a year and a half and the whole dead body thing still doesnt bother me. everybody has to go sometime just be glad its not your time yet


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