# What have you lost?



## hippocratical (Aug 24, 2011)

Well, not lost so much, but how have you changed since you became an EMS?

I was chatting to a friend of mine who's ex-army, and we were shooting the sh:t about medic stuff. He said the one thing that changed for him is that he can't have BBQ pork anymore as it gives him flashbacks from dealing with burned bodies. Being Brits we made as many inappropriate jokes about this as you can imagine. It's what we do.

Anyhow, I was wondering if anyone else has lost or changed at all from their experiences as EMS?

I know you're all jaded buggers, that's a given, but anything else?

For me it's smoking - I gave up years ago, but seeing how patients with COPD or Emphysema slowly drown in their own fluids gives me pause when considering a nice cigar...


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## dixie_flatline (Aug 24, 2011)

I understand the smoking bit, but I think for me it actually made me lose some of my... safety net?  I've seen the fragility of life.  I've seen how quickly and unexpectedly it can be snuffed out.

Since getting into Fire/EMS, I started riding a motorcycle, and have generally been willing to do other things I was "afraid" to do before.  Mind you, I wear a helmet/gloves/armored jacket at all times, but still - I don't want to let fear of getting hurt stop me from accomplishing things.


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## hippocratical (Aug 24, 2011)

dixie_flatline said:


> Since getting into Fire/EMS, I started riding a motorcycle...



It's funny you say that, as I have an EMT friend who bought himself a crotch rocket. I said _"Dude! You ride a Donorcycle? In this town?"_ Drivers here (and everywhere really) are terrible at checking lanes and seem to be magnetically attracted to ramming bikes. 

I would love to get one, but need to get some invincibility powers 1st. I need to drink some nuclear waste for that right?


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## HotelCo (Aug 24, 2011)

I started riding a motorcycle too. Depending on how I feel, I'll suit up, or go with jeans and a t-shirt. I've also done shorts and t shirt a few times as well. 


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## Sasha (Aug 24, 2011)

My mind.

Have you seen it? Last time i saw it it was running down the street.

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## JD9940 (Aug 24, 2011)

what have i lost?
a LOT of sleep


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## DesertMedic66 (Aug 24, 2011)

My sanity. Family/friends see something bad and their reaction is "Ewwww". My reaction is "that's pretty cool".


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## JD9940 (Aug 24, 2011)

firefite said:


> My sanity. Family/friends see something bad and their reaction is "Ewwww". My reaction is "that's pretty cool".



that too


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## 325Medic (Aug 24, 2011)

JD9940 said:


> that too



Patience for stupid acting people and drunks. I have no patience for drunk people anymore.

325.


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## sirengirl (Aug 24, 2011)

since starting school..... my job.

Apparently I have to be available 32 hours a week (as a part timer, mind you) even though they only ever schedule me 11. Go figure.


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## dstevens58 (Aug 24, 2011)

sirengirl said:


> since starting school..... my job.
> 
> Apparently I have to be available 32 hours a week (as a part timer, mind you) even though they only ever schedule me 11. Go figure.



That sucks.  I'm going into medic school in a "still laid off" status.  Good thing I'll have plenty of time to study.


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## the_negro_puppy (Aug 25, 2011)

My faith in humanity


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## mgr22 (Aug 25, 2011)

I've lost an aversion to risk, or become more risk-tolerant. I suppose I've lost some number of years of physical comfort due to injuries. I've lost a lot of money I would have made doing something else.

I'm not complaining about any of this -- just answering the question.


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## abckidsmom (Aug 25, 2011)

I lost "normal" high school and college years.  I lost perspective on what discomfort means.  I lost the medial cruciate ligament in my knee this year.

But I gained so much more.


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## McGoo (Aug 25, 2011)

I lost a lot of sympathy for people who are abusing me and/or the service we provide. And I guess I lost the feeling of always minimising risks. I got my bike licence, am now just waiting for approval and money to get a bike.


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## mcdonl (Aug 25, 2011)

I have lost junk food from my diet, I have lost stagnent behavior and I have lost the desire to drink, smoke or do any other drug.


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## tylerp1 (Aug 25, 2011)

My love for molasses cookies..i guess the smell of milk and molasses enemas/poo will do that to you


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## firetender (Aug 25, 2011)

From the perspective of "What next?" I found once I left the field, no matter the assignment or the consequences, they were all small potatoes because through EMS I learned what Big Stakes really are!

Independent thinking, though fun for me, was the bane of anyone who ever hired me since. The truth is I've been largely unemployable because of it so I've had to make my own niche wherever I've gone, align with other renegades like myself, and seek out stuff that provides maximum autonomy with a heavy dose of "Rush Factor" in the package.

I, too, have lost my faith in humanity, though I think the whole mess is hilarious!


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## Meursault (Aug 25, 2011)

I've lost a lot of pens, some sleep, and any respect for my coworkers.


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## Anjel (Aug 25, 2011)

Sleep

And compassion and sympathy for those who refuse to help themselves when all the resources are available to them.


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## STXmedic (Aug 25, 2011)

A stethoscope >=[


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## Handsome Rob (Aug 26, 2011)

Happily, just sleep. I have learned, read-am still learning- to just adapt and improvise. Sh*t. They were right....

sent from my mobile command center. or phone. whatever.


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## adamjh3 (Aug 26, 2011)

Sleep, money, time, a stutter.

I've gained a lot more than I lost, though.


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## Bullets (Aug 26, 2011)

Compassion in all its forms. I dont feel sorry for anyone anymore. I see people in my ambulance and all i can see is the cause. I used to feel bad for the COPDer or the diabetic. Now i curse them as i get up at 2am. They cant breathe now because they smoked for 20 years, or ate themselves to death. its all i see when im standing over a diabetic emergency thats pushing 300lbs, i hate them. 

also, my spirituality and any semblance of my catholic upbringing. 


and those pink trauma shears, they were nice....


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## MediMike (Aug 26, 2011)

Anything resembling a normal relationship in my personal life...? Guess I can't blame all of that on EMS...


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## usafmedic45 (Aug 26, 2011)

Several friends to medical helicopter crashes.  I sit waiting to find out if I will add more to that toll tonight as a result of the crash in Missouri.  I have friends who work for that service.


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## Sasha (Aug 27, 2011)

Bullets said:


> Compassion in all its forms. I dont feel sorry for anyone anymore. I see people in my ambulance and all i can see is the cause. I used to feel bad for the COPDer or the diabetic. Now i curse them as i get up at 2am. They cant breathe now because they smoked for 20 years, or ate themselves to death. its all i see when im standing over a diabetic emergency thats pushing 300lbs, i hate them.
> 
> also, my spirituality and any semblance of my catholic upbringing.
> 
> ...



Maybe its time to reevaluate if you and EMS is a good fit.

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## Sasha (Aug 27, 2011)

A positive loss- my shyness.

I used to be really timid, afraid to stand up for anything.

Now im not afraid to get all up in your grill.

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## MrBrown (Aug 27, 2011)

Brown has lost 

- All faith in humanity
- All faith in the Lord
- The will to live
- Pens 
- A cell phone 
- Stethoscope
- Sleep

Brown has gained

- Faith in humanity
- Faith in the Lord
- The will to live
- Pens


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## dixie_flatline (Aug 27, 2011)

MrBrown said:


> Brown has gained
> 
> - Faith in humanity
> - Faith in the Lord
> ...



No MRSA?


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## MrBrown (Aug 27, 2011)

dixie_flatline said:


> No MRSA?



Nana's with chest pain or people stuck under cars from road traffic accidents tend not to have MRSA


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## Sasha (Aug 27, 2011)

MrBrown said:


> Nana's with chest pain or people stuck under cars from road traffic accidents tend not to have MRSA



EVERYONE has MRSA.

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## lightsandsirens5 (Aug 27, 2011)

Sasha said:


> EVERYONE has MRSA.
> 
> Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk



Beat me to it.


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## NomadicMedic (Aug 27, 2011)

I lost: some friends, my wife, my dogs, my house and almost every material object that I believed to be important.

I gained: new friends, a new dog, a new career, a better understanding of myself and a new appreciation for the things that are truly important. 

Yeah. My education process and subsequent employment as a medic not only was a change of career, it forced me to reevaluate the things in my life that needed to be changed so I could grow and be happy with who I am. 

It's an arduous process. It's not done yet, but I'm getting there.


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## firetender (Aug 28, 2011)

*Another thought...*

EMS introduced me to a world realer than real. A world that made any work of fiction put me to sleep. I lost the desire to live in any world that bored me.


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## Melclin (Aug 28, 2011)

*GAINED*
-My faith in humanity actually increased. I used to have a powerful hatred of pretty much everything except alcohol and women with tatoos. Getting out into the real world (rather than being angry about stuff on the news or that I had learned in school) a bit more exposed me to people's good sides a bit more. I always assumed people would be arseholes and was happily surprised when, occasionally, they were not.

-An ability to start and maintain conversation that do a reasonable job of keeping people's attention. 

-A powerful confidence in my ability to deal with pretty much any situation I come across. I never feel nervous about things like, minding a friends kid, negotiating with the idiot who rear ended you at a fender bender, meeting the in laws, little every things that provoke a certain amount of anxiety in most people. Since I started in EMS, I just feel like if I can manage severely injured/ill people in completely chaotic situations, I can handle an hour of play time with a four year old (although they are similarly taxing).

-A powerful fear of traumatic brain injuries. 

*LOST*
-My tolerance for boring people and boredom in general. Too much of it at work to be able to tolerate more of in my personal life.  

-A certain amount of libido. Where as once the idea of going out to a party and meeting women and ending up in the sack with one (or more, if the gods smiled upon me. They never seem to do a lot of smiling though :rofl: ) of them would fill me with excitement. Now it just seems like so much effort that I don't have the energy for. Sex just seems so procedural since I started in EMS and involves many of the same body parts and fluids that I tend to try and avoid, but inevitably come into contact with, everyday at work. I wonder sometimes if EMS has ruined sex for me 



firefite said:


> My sanity. Family/friends see something bad and their reaction is "Ewwww". My reaction is "that's pretty cool".



I was always like that. So I got on well when I started in EMS


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## Melclin (Aug 28, 2011)

firetender said:


> ems introduced me to a world realer than real. A world that made any work of fiction put me to sleep. I lost the desire to live in any world that bored me.



this ^^^


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## MrBrown (Aug 28, 2011)

Oh Brown both gained and lost the user formerly known as Mrs Brown

Super mega hella worse-than-telling-some-bloke-their-nana-died-in-an-RTA tragic-that-hurts-worse-than-testicular-torsion :sad:

But life goes on, mmmm garlic and chilli baked potato smothered in cheese and sour cream


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## vbasulto (Aug 28, 2011)

I gave up on religion. There is no way that that there a rhyme or reason to events of life.


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## Shishkabob (Aug 28, 2011)

vbasulto said:


> I gave up on religion. There is no way that that there a rhyme or reason to events of life.



Religion never said there was....


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## MediMike (Aug 28, 2011)

Melclin said:


> *GAINED*
> -A certain amount of libido. Where as once the idea of going out to a party and meeting women and ending up in the sack with one (or more, if the gods smiled upon me. They never seem to do a lot of smiling though :rofl: ) of them would fill me with excitement. Now it just seems like so much effort that I don't have the energy for. Sex just seems so procedural since I started in EMS and involves many of the same body parts and fluids that I tend to try and avoid, but inevitably come into contact with, everyday at work. I wonder sometimes if EMS has ruined sex for me



Holy christ is that what it is? I thought I was just getting old...


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## usafmedic45 (Aug 28, 2011)

I guess I'm lucky....I haven't had that particular problem Melclin.


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## Melclin (Aug 28, 2011)

usafmedic45 said:


> I guess I'm lucky....I haven't had that particular problem Melclin.



I guess you just haven't been in long enough or seen enough, mate. Probably don't know much about respiratory physiology either.


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## usafmedic45 (Aug 28, 2011)

Eh....enough to get by.  LOL


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## WickedGood (Aug 28, 2011)

firetender said:


> EMS introduced me to a world realer than real. A world that made any work of fiction put me to sleep. I lost the desire to live in any world that bored me.



+1   I like that- me too.


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## DESERTDOC (Aug 28, 2011)

I lost my emotions from years of having to turn them off, and not knowing how to turn them on.  I found them about 5 years ago, it's always the last place you look.


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## DESERTDOC (Aug 29, 2011)

Bullets said:


> Compassion in all its forms. I dont feel sorry for anyone anymore. I see people in my ambulance and all i can see is the cause. I used to feel bad for the COPDer or the diabetic. Now i curse them as i get up at 2am. They cant breathe now because they smoked for 20 years, or ate themselves to death. its all i see when im standing over a diabetic emergency thats pushing 300lbs, i hate them.QUOTE]
> 
> If I may offer a different POV.  It is not our place to judge, no matter how right we are.  We can have our opinions, but IMO, they must never be known to the patient.  Yes, they live a life of high risk.  Then again so do most of us.  SCUBA diving, sky diving, motorcycles, marriage, affairs, and let's face it, there are many abusers of caffiene and nicotine in EMS.


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## jafo1 (Aug 29, 2011)

Lost time with friends and family.
Hearing.
And I really don't care how it happened just don't tell me how to fix it.


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## BandageBrigade (Aug 29, 2011)

Lost - Precious moments with my wife and son.  Any type of normal sleep cycle. Im sure some of my tone based hearing. Probably several years of health for my back/knees when I'm older. 

Gained - a fear of being in a state where I cannot care for myself. A sense of just how beautiful and fragile life can be. The ability to think and take action in practically any situation.  An irrational over-protectiveness of my wife and son.


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## Anthony7994 (Aug 29, 2011)

Ever since I joined the department I'm on, I instantly conquered my fears of heights and small spaces, started rock climbing in the southern area of the state (ironically with my EMT instructor, haha), rappelling from 130 foot cliffs, and have the outlook on life that "You only live once". 

I guess the downside is that unless it is a child involved, death doesn't upset me anymore. On or off of the call.



firetender said:


> EMS introduced me to a world realer than real. A world that made any work of fiction put me to sleep. I lost the desire to live in any world that bored me.



^
This also describes it perfectly.


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## epipusher (Aug 30, 2011)

sleep


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## mrswicknick (Aug 30, 2011)

BandageBrigade said:


> Lost - Precious moments with my wife and son.
> 
> ... An irrational over-protectiveness of my wife and son. ...



Its far from irrational!


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## Hank (Sep 4, 2011)

I lost my virginity.................


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## usafmedic45 (Sep 4, 2011)

> Precious moments with my wife and son.



All the more reasons to never have kids. LOL


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## MrBrown (Sep 5, 2011)

usafmedic45 said:


> All the more reasons to never have kids. LOL



How's your daughter?


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