# Best line ever



## gradygirl (Jun 13, 2006)

I'm sure everyone has a great line that they have heard on scene, be it from a pt., a family member, other responders, etc.

I was literally getting into bed when my radio went off. The dispatch info was a female pt. having a panic attack. So I got dressed and made my way to the dorm where the call was located and met my partner outside of the dorm. When we got to the pt.'s room, she was sitting on her bed. We asked her what was wrong and she said "My heart is beating too fast. When your heart beats too fast, you die. Am I going to die?"

Needless to say, my partner and I just looked at one another and tried our hardest not to laugh. We told her that no, she was not going to die because of her heart beating too fast. When we started taking the pt.'s hx, we discovered that she had made marijuana brownies, eaten one, had a marijuana induced panic attack, and taken her anti-panic medication. AND, this was not her first time. :wacko:


----------



## Wingnut (Jun 13, 2006)

Rofl!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Jon (Jun 14, 2006)

Nice...

So you do college EMS? Ever been to the college EMS confrences? Our local university has a QRS group, and they are also usually members of the town's ambulance co.


They are good people.


----------



## gradygirl (Jun 14, 2006)

I haven't been to one yet, our squad hasn't gone for the past few years, but we are going to the 2007 conference. I'm also applying to be the regional rep for the Northeast.

Come to think of it, I believe we co-hosted the 1998 conference with the Univ. of Hartford. (I go to Trinity College.)


----------



## dizzymedic (Jul 6, 2006)

This is a short one but still funny.  Me and my partner were overseing the newbie in the service when we arrived at the hospital with a patient in full c-spine immobilisation.  When we arrived in the ER and were to transfer the patient on the ER stretcher, the newbie tells him:"Don't move sir, we'll transfer you to a much more comfortable stretcher..."  He was still on the spine board......


----------



## MMiz (Jul 7, 2006)

I had the kit out and someone asked what the NPAs were.  I explained, and said that's what the KY was for too.  She asked "Is it the warming kind, because that would really tingle!"

It wasn't the warming kind.


----------



## Jon (Jul 7, 2006)

MMiz said:
			
		

> I had the kit out and someone asked what the NPAs were.  I explained, and said that's what the KY was for too.  She asked "Is it the warming kind, because that would really tingle!"
> 
> It wasn't the warming kind.


I think we should use the warming kind... the studies show that trauma patients often are hypothermic


----------



## IrishEMT (Jul 31, 2006)

We showed up at another squad member's house where a party was going on. Her 70+ grandmother had fallen, but was basically alright, and she (the squad member) decides to ride in the rig with us. We're bouncing along the highway, and she pauses from comforting her grandmother and says, "Okay, this is probably a really horrible time to ask this, but would you mind covering for me Tuesday night?"


----------



## MedicPrincess (Jul 31, 2006)

How about the patient that asked "How many calories are in that" as she was having D5W hung, because she was on a Diet.

Or the "family member" who couldn't give us any info on our patient.  Only her name.  Couldn't provide the patients Date of Birth, Address, Age...nothing....And then turned to my CPT and asked him if her sister was going to be okay, b/c "they are twins and she don't got noone else nowhere."

Or the guy with the very cool, very deformed ankle who kept telling me his pain was a 2/10.  Very polite, quite nice to look at, as we pulled into the hospital I realized I hadn't asked him if he'd been drinking (standard question for our patients we get off the beach).  Yep, he says.  How much.  16 he says.  16, What I ask.  16 Margaritas he says.  Why, he asks, "Do you think thats why my ankle doesn't hurt to bad?"  Oh, maybe that and the 100mg of Darvocet your friend gave you to "take the edge off"


----------



## randyb (Aug 23, 2006)

In my dual role as an EMT and therapist.  We got a call in a county I worked in for an OD.  The guy was VERY drunk and we ended up rolling two trucks.  The two medics took the pt off to the ER with a firefigther driving.  Myself and the other advanced EMT start looking through the house to find out what else this guy might have been doing.  We ended up being there for 30-40 minutes getting the scene cleaned up, talking to family, etc.  

A few days later, I'm at my regular job and get called for an evaluation on a guy for admit to our detox unit.  WELL it just turns out to be the same guy and he has no idea I know him.  Hmmmm.....this might be fun.  I end up saying things like:

"I bet you like dark eyes vodka and chase it with Bud light"
"You look like the kind of guy that would own a ranch house, brown shutters and I'm guessing your wife is a blonde."
"From you hands, you look like your working on refurbishing a Mustang, bet its a 68".

This dude thought I literally could read his mind!  Finally the M.D. asked me to come over and told me he didn't care if I F*cked with the patients, but I was starting to scare the nurses.  He also pointed out that he had a copy of our run sheet and my name was on it so he knew the story.


----------



## Sineath02 (Aug 23, 2006)

dizzymedic said:
			
		

> This is a short one but still funny.  Me and my partner were overseing the newbie in the service when we arrived at the hospital with a patient in full c-spine immobilisation.  When we arrived in the ER and were to transfer the patient on the ER stretcher, the newbie tells him:"Don't move sir, we'll transfer you to a much more comfortable stretcher..."  He was still on the spine board......





Now that is hilarious!!


----------



## Anomalous (Aug 23, 2006)

Heard in scannerland @ 0300...    "...a motorcycle traveling southbound in the northbound lane in excess of 90 mph".  The officers reply: "Can you give me a description of the vehicle?"    Correct me if I'm wrong, but if it was red instead of green shouldn't they probably stop them anyway?


----------



## gradygirl (Aug 23, 2006)

While listening to the campus LEOs one night; it went something like this:

LEO1 "Yeah, xxxx, can you check out a fire alarm in building xxxx, room xxx?"
LEO2 "Sure."
LEO2 "Uh, yeah, false alarm. It was candles on a birthday cake..."
LEO3 "Please confirm, what flavor???"
LEO2 "Don't worry, I got a piece."


----------



## c-spine (Aug 24, 2006)

TCERT1987 said:
			
		

> LEO2 "Uh, yeah, false alarm. It was candles on a birthday cake..."




They were that old, huh?


----------



## RH3075 (Sep 2, 2006)

*Funniest line*

We took a pt in cardiac arrest to the ED, medics on board pumping in drugs and doing cpr.  Pt.'s brother follows us to ED.  We get there and the doc pronounces him. So the doc goes out to the brother ans says "I'm sorry but your brother has passed away".  The guy looks at the doc and says "other than that, how is he doing?".  My partner and I could barely stop ourselves from busting out laughing..we talk about it non stop to this day.


----------



## Jon (Sep 2, 2006)

Yeah... I remember being told by someone that when you tell someone a loved one died, you DON'T use euphamisms... "Passed away" "Passed on" "crossed over" all can be misinterpreted as being "less than dead"

Hey... you are from Jersey City? Welcome from Suburban Philadelphia.


----------



## fm_emt (Sep 2, 2006)

Jon said:


> Yeah... I remember being told by someone that when you tell someone a loved one died, you DON'T use euphamisms... "Passed away" "Passed on" "crossed over" all can be misinterpreted as being "less than dead"



I was told the exact same thing. Haven't had to worry about it - yet.


----------



## RH3075 (Sep 3, 2006)

Hey Jon,

Thanks for the welcome.  Born and raised here in JC.  Im a basic now, but I'm also a nursing student and plan on challenging the medic exam when I am done.  I like to hit Philly once in a when I get a hankering for a real cheesesteak.

RH


----------

