# A father at 13



## VentMedic (Feb 16, 2009)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

*Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13*
By LUCY HAGAN 
Published: 13 Feb 2009

*



			BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”
		
Click to expand...

*


> Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.
> He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.


 
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece


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## Sasha (Feb 16, 2009)

> “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.



A good loving parent probably would have seen the fact this is not the ideal situation for a baby and found a better place for her. Five siblings, mother, father, and now a baby? The article also stated they get assistance. 

I think right now they're in the "Ooooh isn't she cute!" stage, once out of that and faced with the fact a baby is a lot more responsiblity than giving it a bottle and holding it, they'll realize how big of a mistake they made and how much better it would have been to do what's better for the baby.

Those pictures of the father with the mother... it looks creepy. He's just a baby himself.

Sex education in itself needs to move more towards prevention of pregnancy and STD transmission, and be more educative and away from the "abstience only value based education"


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## lightsandsirens5 (Feb 16, 2009)

What is with all these young kids becoming parents? Is there no common sense any more?:unsure:


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## VentMedic (Feb 16, 2009)

It is nothing new. We have many parents under the age of 15 with babies in our nursery or NICU.   Most do not want the world to know their family business.


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## medic417 (Feb 16, 2009)

Actually is already posted and there is now 3 other boys claiming to be daddy.

It was in this discussion.

http://www.emtlife.com/showthread.php?t=11299&page=3


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## jochi1543 (Feb 16, 2009)

medic417 said:


> Actually is already posted and there is now 3 other boys claiming to be daddy.
> 
> It was in this discussion.
> 
> http://www.emtlife.com/showthread.php?t=11299&page=3



Why would as many as 3 teenage boys take responsibility for this? It seems bizarre, considering you've got grown men running from their pregnant ex-girlfriends. The 15-16 year olds are not going to get much publicity, since it's not that uncommon for one to become a parent at that age, so I doubt publicity is their motive...


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## marineman (Feb 16, 2009)

jochi1543 said:


> Why would as many as 3 teenage boys take responsibility for this? It seems bizarre, considering you've got grown men running from their pregnant ex-girlfriends. The 15-16 year olds are not going to get much publicity, since it's not that uncommon for one to become a parent at that age, so I doubt publicity is their motive...



Then they can prove to all their friends that they have had sex, at that age that's the cutoff on cool or not.


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## imurphy (Feb 16, 2009)

http://www.livenews.com.au/Articles...laim_they_fathered_13yearold_Alfies_daughter_

All about the **7** other boys who have come forward....

And you know, really there have GOT to be some other boys out there thinking "Phew! Heat's off me so"

I think I see a guest of Maury in the making!!


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## Crimson Ghost (Feb 17, 2009)

imurphy said:


> http://www.livenews.com.au/Articles...laim_they_fathered_13yearold_Alfies_daughter_
> 
> All about the **7** other boys who have come forward....
> 
> ...



:wacko:Thats crazy. ive just seen it today on Insider adition. This is so wrong on so many levels. Where were and where are they now, the parents of those teenagers? How could it happen and since when is it something to publisize? If all that keeps going on in the society, i think i will homeschool my baby, when it time for him to go to school. Too many bad influences around.
Thats my opinion.


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## medic417 (Feb 17, 2009)

imurphy said:


> All about the **7** other boys who have come forward....



If true wonder what all diseases she has caught that got passed on to the baby, since it seems she is easy.  Again only if true.


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## VentMedic (Feb 17, 2009)

medic417 said:


> If true wonder what all diseases she has caught that got passed on to the baby, since it seems she is easy. Again only if true.


 
Although, how many STDs can 13 y/o virgins have?


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## medic417 (Feb 17, 2009)

VentMedic said:


> Although, how many STDs can 13 y/o virgins have?



But if the multiple older boys have had multiple partners and are telling the truth, might be a bad mess.


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## VentMedic (Feb 17, 2009)

medic417 said:


> But if the multiple older boys have had multiple partners and are telling the truth, might be a bad mess.


 
You are right.   Unfortunately there is a rise of newly diagnosed HIV in young people.  Many were born after the worldwide push for HIV/AIDS education.   People are no longer aware of the dangers of unprotected sex and not just for pregnancy reasons, but for the disease transmission.  If would be interesting to know how many had HIV education in their Junior or Senior high schools.  Or, how extensively it is covered in EMT(P) class?  Judging by some of the threads and posts we have seen on the forums, the education about HIV/AIDS/TB as well as the signs and symptoms of STDs are greatly lacking. 

In reference to another thread, Syphilis can be a cause of cardiac disease.

Off track but a good article anyway:

*Electrocardiographic Manifestations and Differential Diagnosis of Acute Pericarditis*

http://www.aafp.org/afp/980215ap/marinell.html


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## Veneficus (Feb 17, 2009)

Would just like to point out that many STDs can be transmitted  from mother to fetus so there is the possibility of 13 y/o virgins with communicable disease. 

Also if I recall the article it said the female was 15 and the number of her partners was not stated. 

Not getting into the provider education debate and I know many of the parents will go nuts, but if the first kids hear about sex, STDs, and safe sex behaviors, devices, and other methods, is in high school, it is way too late.
In the US an average 13 year old is in 7th grade. If they were born in Aug or Sept, they may be 12 in the same grade.


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## medic417 (Feb 17, 2009)

Veneficus said:


> Also if I recall the article it said the female was 15 and the number of her partners was not stated.



One of the other articals mentions 7 other boys claiming they could be the father.


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## Veneficus (Feb 17, 2009)

medic417 said:


> One of the other articals mentions 7 other boys claiming they could be the father.



I read that, but between being "cool" or possibly after some press I am not sure how reliable that is. When I was a teenager most guys I knew would keep their mouth shut on that if somebody else was taking the blame, perhaps times change.


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## LucidResq (Feb 17, 2009)

Sasha said:


> Sex education in itself needs to move more towards prevention of pregnancy and STD transmission, and be more educative and away from the "abstience only value based education"



Aaaabsolutely. In high school health we did a sex unit. We watched a video in which a woman was doing scripted question and answers with a classroom of teens. 

One boy asked something to the effect of "but what's the big deal about having sex, isn't it natural?" and the woman replied in a grave tone, I am not kidding or exaggerating, word for word: 

"If you have sex before marriage, you will die." 

Of course this sent the classroom into a fit of hysterical laughter. 

Baseless terror tactics don't work with kids anymore. They know too much already. They deserve to be told the truth and given the knowledge and resources to have sex without endangering their lives or bringing another life into this world too early.


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## Veneficus (Feb 17, 2009)

LucidResq said:


> Aaaabsolutely. In high school health we did a sex unit. We watched a video in which a woman was doing scripted question and answers with a classroom of teens.
> 
> One boy asked something to the effect of "but what's the big deal about having sex, isn't it natural?" and the woman replied in a grave tone, I am not kidding or exaggerating, word for word:
> 
> ...



Not to mention tactics like that lose the confidence of the "kids" and anything you say after that is not even considered. I'd also love to hear the biological reasoning of that. We'd have to start marrying kids at 8 just to ensure the continuation of the species.


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## lcffemt (Feb 17, 2009)

Wow... maybe this explains why I am concerned about my younger sister getting pregnant "But I'm only 16"


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## Sasha (Feb 17, 2009)

> I'd also love to hear the biological reasoning of that. We'd have to start marrying kids at 8 just to ensure the continuation of the species.



Bigots would stone them to death.


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## fortsmithman (Feb 18, 2009)

LucidResq said:


> Aaaabsolutely.
> 
> "If you have sex before marriage, you will die."



I remember the nuns telling me that have sex before marriage you will burn in hell.  That didn't work on my friends.


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## Shishkabob (Feb 18, 2009)

lightsandsirens5 said:


> What is with all these young kids becoming parents? Is there no common sense any more?:unsure:



I was raised in a wealthy area of Michigan for 10 years.  In the whole time there, I saw 1 pregnant teen.

Moved to Ft Worth Texas, and you cannot walk down the hall of a highschool during passing time without seeing a posse of preggo teens. Talk about culture shock.



DO people simply not realize how cheap condoms are, and how much they help in the long run?  Damn.


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## Veneficus (Feb 18, 2009)

Linuss said:


> I was raised in a wealthy area of Michigan for 10 years.  In the whole time there, I saw 1 pregnant teen.
> 
> Moved to Ft Worth Texas, and you cannot walk down the hall of a highschool during passing time without seeing a posse of preggo teens. Talk about culture shock.
> 
> ...



don't you realize that if she makes you use a condom she doesn't love you? :wacko:

sarcasm aside, I think that in all the bible belt places down south, the teens don't have easy access to condoms or birth control. When I worked in LA, we were stationed across the street from a highschool that had its own daycare. I delivered 2 kids in the facility, and it seemed no female over grade 8 had less than 1 kid.


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## Sasha (Feb 18, 2009)

> DO people simply not realize how cheap condoms are, and how much they help in the long run? Damn.



Here condoms are free at the health department, and we still have a bunch of pregnant teens. 

I feel it's due to lack of REAL sex ed. When I was in middle and high school we had abstinence shoved down our throat with little to no education about condoms, birth control and STDs. Just "No sex 'til marriage!" and "Never leave your drink unattended!"

I knew one girl who didn't know that using two condoms didn't provide extra protection but made them both more likely to break, and felt if she jumped up and down afterwards the sperm wouldn't get to the ovum. A few people in my graduating class were convinced that if you douched with some kind of soda afterwards it kills the sperm.

How many people do you know that are under the impression if you pull out it's impossible to get pregnant?

And we wonder why the teen pregnancy rate is so high!


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## VentMedic (Feb 18, 2009)

Sasha said:


> A few people in my graduating class were convinced that if you douched with some kind of soda afterwards it kills the sperm.


 
We still see an occasional coca cola bottle incident in the ED.  That "prevention" has been around since I was a kid in the 60s when cola was in real bottles.


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## Shishkabob (Feb 18, 2009)

Sasha said:


> I feel it's due to lack of REAL sex ed. When I was in middle and high school we had abstinence shoved down our throat with little to no education about condoms, birth control and STDs. Just "No sex 'til marriage!" and "Never leave your drink unattended!"




I think this is one of the biggest cop outs ever used by teen parents.  "Teens are told about abstinence instead of birth control".  I never needed an adult to tell me about condoms for me to know that it is a much better alternative over babies as a teen.

I'm sorry, but that just shows how ignorant some teens are.  I mean, damn, if you think you're old enough for sex, 2 things come to mind;

You're old enough for the consequences, no matter what they are, live with it.

And you damn well better possess an inkling of common knowledge further then "This goes inside of that"







> How many people do you know that are under the impression if you pull out it's impossible to get pregnant?



That's how I became an uncle.  My brother is an idiot.


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## Sasha (Feb 18, 2009)

> I think this is one of the biggest cop outs ever used by teen parents. "Teens are told about abstinence instead of birth control". I never needed an adult to tell me about condoms for me to know that it is a much better alternative over babies as a teen.



Well, you don't speak for everyone.

Condoms aren't the cure all for teen pregnancy. And there are a lot of misconceptions people have about condoms. They're good forever, they don't wear thin in your car's glove box, using two is better protection, there's no need if the girl just had her period or is on birth control. There are so many myths floating around schools that some kids don't know what to believe and don't have the benefit of having parents who will talk to them about sex. 

And pregnancy is not the only part of sex ed. You'd be shocked to learn how ignorant of their own bodies some girls are.


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## Shishkabob (Feb 18, 2009)

And boys as well... God I still remember watching the videos in 5th grade.


And yes I know I don't speak for everyone.



But seriously, it doesn't take much for someone who wants to have sex to learn about how to not be a parent as a teen. 

 It shouldn't be pinned solely on schools who teach abstinence.  It should also be pinned on the parents who don't do enough, and on the kids themselves for not caring enough about themselves to learn about something that could, and does, have long lasting consequences.


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## Veneficus (Feb 18, 2009)

Linuss said:


> It shouldn't be pinned solely on schools who teach abstinence.  It should also be pinned on the parents who don't do enough, and on the kids themselves for not caring enough about themselves to learn about something that could, and does, have long lasting consequences.



not arguing, because I largely agree with you, but parents who don't know or understand cannot teach their kids.

Most kids now-a-days barely do anything more than whatever they absolutely must do. I have several sources to blame, but as I have no idea how to fix it, it does no good to dwell on it.


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## HasTy (Feb 18, 2009)

If the parents were old enough to take care of the child ok but at this age the parent should have know right to make a decision regarding the child although I guess since they did get themselves into this mess they should have to get themselves out of it. IMNSHO they should be forced to give up the child either to relatives or another family that is unable to have a child.


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## imurphy (Feb 18, 2009)

LucidResq said:


> "If you have sex before marriage, you will die."



Well if you ask the fanatical Christians (read: dugger family) if you KISS before marriage, the world will end in a firey firey way!


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## Shishkabob (Feb 18, 2009)

Veneficus said:


> not arguing, because I largely agree with you,





Wait, did I read that right?

Veneficus and I actually _agree_ on something?!


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## BossyCow (Feb 23, 2009)

VentMedic said:


> Although, how many STDs can 13 y/o virgins have?



With how many boys claiming to be the father I don't think she can claim it was her first time. Kids are becoming sexually active earlier and earlier. 

I scared the bejasus out of my boys, not just with the STDs or Pregancy itself but with the fact that the mom decides if the baby is delivered and they are on the hook, financially and emotionally for at least the next 18 years and maybe more.  I also told my kids that if they can't sit down face to face with their partner and have a logical, factual non-giggling discussion about birth control and sexual history with their partner, the relationship is not mature enough to become sexual. I'm blessed (or cursed) with kids who talk to me about pretty much everything and the stuff they can't talk to their mom about, they talk to their dad.  I actually had to talk to them about boundaries, Mom doesn't need to know EVERYTHING. 

Yes abstinance works but it has to be practiced completely.  You can't be mostly abstinant or practice it 'pretty much all the time'.


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## GonnaBeEMT (Feb 23, 2009)

*Bad parenting*

I put 100% blame on the parents.



lightsandsirens5 said:


> What is with all these young kids becoming parents? Is there no common sense any more?:unsure:


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## CAOX3 (Feb 25, 2009)

TylerHastings said:


> If the parents were old enough to take care of the child ok but at this age the parent should have know right to make a decision regarding the child although I guess since they did get themselves into this mess they should have to get themselves out of it. IMNSHO they should be forced to give up the child either to relatives or another family that is unable to have a child.



We dont do that in America.


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## Jon (Feb 25, 2009)

You know, I heard that he might NOT be the dad.

does this mean there is a Maury appearance in the future?


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## medic417 (Feb 25, 2009)

Jon said:


> You know, I heard that he might NOT be the dad.
> 
> does this mean there is a Maury appearance in the future?



With multiple guys claiming they could be the daddy would be a perfect episode of "who's the daddy".


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## amberdt03 (Feb 25, 2009)

medic417 said:


> With multiple guys claiming they could be the daddy would be a perfect episode of "who's the daddy".



oh yeah, i can see it now. 
The mom: "I know one of these 13 guys is my baby's daddy" 
Maury:"Here are the results."
5 min later....(gotta have the dramatic effect)
Maury:"None of these guys are the father"
Mom: "Well then it must be one of these other 5 guys"


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## Sasha (Feb 25, 2009)

CAOX3 said:


> We dont do that in America.



This happened in England.

Does anyone else find it odd that little kids are coming forward to be the father? What happened to "That aint my kid!"?


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