# Some EMS jokes



## lightsandsirens5 (Jan 22, 2009)

Here are a few I found.

Please add more!


A medic goes to an MVA and finds a Porsche that sideswiped a concrete pillar, tearing the drivers arm off. As the medic is coming at him through the passenger door, the driver is moaning "Oh, my Porsche...Oh, my Porsche, Oh my poor poor Porsche!" The medic says, "Pal, forget about your car, look at your arm." The yuppie looks down where his arm used to be and moans, "Oh my Rolex...Oh, my Rolex!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three paramedics were boasting we installed our new satellite navigation system, bragged one, we've cut our emergency response time by ten percent.

Not bad, the second paramedic commented. But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we we cut our average time by 20 percent. 

That's nothing said the third paramedic. Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three medics are walking on a beach, taking a break from an ambulance convention on a tropical island. They happen upon an antique bottle and in examining it, they all-too-predictably release the genie trapped inside. He offers them the obligatory three wishes and they agree to split them: one each. 

The first medic, an Advanced EMT, says, "I want to be ten times smarter so I can better help my patients!" "A noble wish, Master!", says the genie as he waves his hands. "Granted!" The Advanced EMT is ten times smarter. 

The second medic, a Paramedic, says "Well, I would like to be a hundred times smarter, to better help all the patients I have to work on." "Another noble wish!", says the genie and he makes the second medic a hundred times smarter. 

The third medic, a Field Supervisor, pipes up and says, "I wish to be a thousand times smarter, in order to best help all the patients that I must care for, genie." 

The genie cocks an eyebrow at him and says, "Are you quite sure that that is your wish?" "Yes, that is my wish! A thousand times smarter", asserts the third medic. 

"Very well! The most noble wish of all! Granted!!", booms the genie and he waves his hands. 

The supervisor is now an EMT.


----------



## LukaPL (Jan 29, 2009)

Guy calls his work
-I cant come to work today
- why
- I have anal glaucoma
- what is this?
- I just cant see my *** coming to work today


----------

