# 40 things I would like to say out loud at work …



## ClarkKent (Jun 19, 2010)

1.I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of s_it.

2.I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

3.How about never?  Is never good for you?

4.I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5.I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see if my way.

6.I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

7.I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8.I don’t work here.  I am a consultant.

9.It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you are saying.

10. Ahh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…

11. I like you.  You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent distrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision.  I just don’t give a damn.

14.  I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you.  We’re all refreshed and challenged by you unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you are an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I?  Flypaper for freaks?

20. I’m not being rude.  You’re just insignificant.

21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-a_sed opinion would be…?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn’t an office.  It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made.  Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. Can I trade this job for what behind door #1?

33. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume.  Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic and disorder – my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it…like humor…but different.


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## Naota_X (Jun 20, 2010)

hah i like this one "It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off " 
very funny stuff ^_^


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## EMTRabbit (Jun 20, 2010)

can this apply to my EMT-B Class because i swear i've said half of this under my breath
very funny


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## mycrofft (Jun 22, 2010)

*Funny now. Funnier in 2005?*

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1148380/posts

OOPs be prepared for a little pottymouth in that link


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## MTEMTB (Jun 23, 2010)

41. You just freaked out my PT that I just got calm. Now I'm going to punch you in the mouth.


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## mycrofft (Jun 23, 2010)

*"The Forty-first Quote". I like that!*

Okay, #41: "When a code patient expires, could you try to refrain from that 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has _*LEFT*_ the building!!!' horsehockey?"<_<


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## firetender (Jun 24, 2010)

*Old School!*

Please put down the donut, Officer, and mug him until I get my intubation equipment out.


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## wolfwyndd (Jun 24, 2010)

Most of these could apply for ANY job, not just EMS.

My personal favorite is 24.

Do I look like a people person?


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## medicRob (Jun 25, 2010)

Sometimes, I just have the urge to scream DRT or FUBAR (Just the acronym not the actual words, that would be impolite )


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## mycrofft (Jun 25, 2010)

*#41 (a)*

The paper goes in HERE, the reset button is THERE, and if all else fails turn it off and on. If you don't get it right, next time I'll demonstrate on *you*.


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## LucidResq (Jun 25, 2010)

Stop making fun of fat people. You weigh at least 400 pounds and are currently eating out of two different McDonald's bags. (true story!) 

Are you going to learn to pull your pants up or do I need to duct tape that **** for you?


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## lightsandsirens5 (Jun 25, 2010)

LucidResq said:


> Stop making fun of fat people. You weigh at least 400 pounds and are currently eating out of two different McDonald's bags. (true story!)
> 
> Are you going to learn to pull your pants up or do I need to duct tape that **** for you?


 
Hold on just one second! You said that lucid?


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## LucidResq (Jun 25, 2010)

lightsandsirens5 said:


> Hold on just one second! You said that lucid?



No , true story that a 400+ lb coworker was making fun of fat people as she was sitting eating two bags of McDonald's. Talk about biting one's tongue.


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## mycrofft (Jun 25, 2010)

*Does McDonald's serve tongue?*

.............


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## TransportJockey (Jun 25, 2010)

mycrofft said:


> Okay, #41: "When a code patient expires, could you try to refrain from that 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has _*LEFT*_ the building!!!' horsehockey?"<_<



But what if his name _is_ Elvis? I would be so tempted


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## njff/emt (Jun 28, 2010)

i've been so tempted to say #35, we had a wait and return trip and the aide's perfume had my nostrils on fire., i could actually smell her down the hall


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## Lt.Col.Warren (Jun 30, 2010)

#42. You and both know your fakeing, but lets go through this whole process anyways, its not like I have anything else to be doing at 3 in the morning.


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## TraumaNerd (Jul 27, 2010)

If you can yell at me from the hall way your not too short of breath...


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## lightsandsirens5 (Jul 27, 2010)

If you are able to repeatedly ask dispatch to tell me to not use my siren, you probably aren't sick enough for me to use it anyhow.


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## dmc2007 (Jul 27, 2010)

If you want to smoke before getting in the ambulance, you aren't having difficulty breathing.

This actually happened.


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## MIkePrekopa (Jul 30, 2010)

dmc2007 said:


> If you want to smoke before getting in the ambulance, you aren't having difficulty breathing.
> 
> This actually happened.



We get these at least every other day. often times 2 a day. A Dr in our coverage area uses 911 as a taxi service.

I feel bad for the people who get an ALS bill on a BS call.


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## Leonidas1 (Sep 5, 2010)

And for that wanna be combative bad a_ _ psych patient.... " sit yo five dolla a_ _ down before I make change!"


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## KY_EMT (Sep 7, 2010)

Leonidas1 said:


> And for that wanna be combative bad a_ _ psych patient.... " sit yo five dolla a_ _ down before I make change!"



LOL Oh yeah!


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## Too Old To Work (Sep 15, 2010)

How about 40 things I DID say at work? 

One of which was asking a particularly dense resident if his medical school entrance exam was on the back of a match book cover.


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