# What was your funniest call, heres mine !



## reeltimesc (Dec 5, 2004)

I once went on a PI, extricated my patient, stabilized him on a board with C-collar and CID. Transported him to the ER only to realize upon arrival at the ER that I was still wearing my bedroom slippers. Can anyone top that ?


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## MMiz (Dec 5, 2004)

> _Originally posted by reeltimesc_@Dec 5 2004, 07:03 PM
> *  I once went on a PI, extricated my patient, stabilized him on a board with C-collar and CID. Transported him to the ER only to realize upon arrival at the ER that I was still wearing my bedroom slippers. Can anyone top that ? *


 LOLOL.  That's a good one.

I've put a peds NC on a grown man before, and despite everyone in the ambulance giving me weird looks, no one said a word.  I was thinking to myself "Wow, these ALS rigs got that fancy NCs with the elastic in back."

I laughed about that one for a while, but nothing like yours.


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## ffemt8978 (Dec 6, 2004)

Paged out to assist PD with a possible OD.  While in route, we heard the officer get on his radio and start screaming for help.  By this time, we were only a block away so we continued to assist.  Upon arrival, PD was fighting with female pt and her dog.  We assist PD in getting the pt restrained, and when she refuses medical treatment PD goes to handcuff her and the fight is on again.  We finally get her hog-tied, and as we're carrying her to the PD cruiser, her dog comes up and bites her between the legs.  

It didn't break the skin but it did startle her enough to let us put her in the cruiser without further incident.  Needless to say, we had a hard time keeping a straight face on scene.

Since I was also the city Animal Control Officer at the time, it fell upon me to capture the dog for safekeeping.  I ended up opening the door to my Chief's vehicle and the dog jumped right in, making capture easy.


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## cbdemt (Dec 7, 2004)

We were called to a single car rollover in a cornfield, 6 pts, 1 DOA. (Graduation party gone bad).    We are a volunteer squad.  My friend rolls up on scene in her POV.  We are all running through this cornfield behind 3 ambulances and god knows how many police cars.  I look over and my friend is wearing a long john shirt boots and boxer shorts.  When we got to the crash, our cpt told us to search the surrounding area and a nearby pond because only 2 of the pts (including the doa) bothered to stay on scene.  We're over by the pond and my friend decides it would be a good time to put on some pants.  As she is doing so, an officer walks up and tells her to put her hands on her head.  After a quick explanation and some laughs we all went on about our business... she still hasn't lived that one down.


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## rescuecpt (Dec 7, 2004)

I think I might have told this story before, if not let me know and I'll expand on the details... but it involves a Target, a security guard, shredded pants, a face full of mace, bad ambulance driving and a somewhat successful attempt to flush out the security guard's eyes while speeding down a windy highway.


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## ffemt8978 (Dec 7, 2004)

> _Originally posted by rescuecpt_@Dec 7 2004, 02:50 PM
> * I think I might have told this story before, if not let me know and I'll expand on the details... but it involves a Target, a security guard, shredded pants, a face full of mace, bad ambulance driving and a somewhat successful attempt to flush out the security guard's eyes while speeding down a windy highway. *


 I don't remember it, so do tell....


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## rescuecpt (Dec 7, 2004)

Well.......  we got a call for an "eye injury" at Target.  I was doing ride-alongs with other crews at the Corps to get hours for my ALS class.  It was the first time I was riding with Stu* and Joe* (*names have been changed to protect the innocent).

On the way to Target I'm running through all of the things I know about eye injuries in my head...  if there's an impalement, leave it there, cover both eyes, etc etc.  I figure something fell off a shelf and hit someone in the head.  Boy was I wrong.

We get to Target and are shown into the security office.  There are cops there, and there's a guy who's all red in the face pacing the cage.  It looked like he was wearing a hula skirt.  I stop in my tracks and ask the cop "what's going on".  They tell me there was a shoplifter and some mace...  I assume the guy is the shoplifter so I make the cop come with me.  Turns out, he was undercover store security.  He saw a woman come in whose "rap sheet" he had seen earlier in the week - a faxed security alert from another store.  So he followed her and watched her put a couple prepaid cellphones in her coat pockets.  He approached her, and she maced him.  So then he lunged at her, and she bit him on the neck (and no, we're not in Transylvania), and somehow managed to rip his pants to shreds (getting a little somethin' somethin' while he tackles her to the ground I guess).  So here's this 20 year old security guard, his mouth, nose, and eyes covered in mace, bleeding from a bite wound to the neck, pants ripped to shreds, laying on top of this lady.  Other security guards came and apprehended her, and he was taken into the security office where they called us.

So he wouldn't go anywhere until the store brought him new pants (go figure) so he changed in front of me (yay!  wait, no, TOTALLY not my type).  We walk him to the rig and get him settled into the stretcher.  We start pulling away and one of the store managers rips open the back door and says "wait, I need some pictures" and proceeds to mug shot the kid with a polaroid for "insurance and workers comp purposes".

On the way to the hospital, Joe and I decide to treat his wounds (gee, y'think?).  I had a brain fart and didn't even consider spiking a bag and using the tubing to hose off his eyes... instead, we stick a bedpan under his chin and attempt to pour a bottle of NS down his eyes into the pan.  Meanwhile, Stu is pretending he's never driven an ambulance before and bouncing us all over the place - one of the cabinets even opened up and I had to bat a box of gloves out of the way so it wouldn't hit the pt.  While pouring the NS.   Ooops.... need a couple towels.  Then we ended up soaking some gauze and covering both eyes with them, then wrapping them in place with roller gauze.  The guy looked like a war hero, but he said it was making him feel better.  While he told us other harrowing security guard tales (no offense to the SG's out there), and how he'd get a meritorious transfer with one more capture, and how his dad is a police detective and was going to be so proud of him, we bandaged his neck, and I made Joe check his legs for additional bites/wounds.  We put him on O2 for good measure (mace in the airway = not good).  It was all we could do to not laugh hysterically, looking at this kid with his neck and eyes wrapped up, and a non-rebreather on his face.  Only the tip of his nose and some hairs on top of his head were sticking out.

When we transferred him into the bed at the hospital, I told the nurse he was attempting to apprehend a shoplifter... He said "No, no no... I got her!  One more and I get transferred to any Target I want!"  (Mind you, he's still bandaged and he's waving one finger around in the air to emphasize "one more"!)  We walked out to the ambulance bay and I almost peed myself laughing so hard.  It's one of those stories that is hard to do it justice with words, but in 5 years it's the only one of it's kind....


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## MMiz (Dec 8, 2004)

rescuecpt,

Best. Story. Ever. 

 :lol:  :lol:   That's great.


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## Summit (Dec 8, 2004)

rescuecpt that is freakin hillarious!

I bet Target will award him the prestigious decoration: Order of the Mall Ninja  h34r:


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## Margaritaville (Dec 8, 2004)

rescuecapt,

Thats a hoot. It'll be hard to shop at Target without thinking about that one.


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## sunshine1026 (Dec 9, 2004)

ROFLMAO!  After the day I had today, I really needed a laugh.  

Thanks!


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## Jon (Dec 25, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Summit_@Dec 8 2004, 01:52 PM
> * rescuecpt that is freakin hillarious!
> 
> I bet Target will award him the prestigious decoration: Order of the Mall Ninja  h34r: *


 Stupid security guards.


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## PArescueEMT (Dec 25, 2004)

> _Originally posted by MedicStudentJon_@Dec 25 2004, 01:50 PM
> * Stupid security guards.   *


 and what is it that you do again???


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## rescuecpt (Dec 25, 2004)

> _Originally posted by MedicStudentJon+Dec 25 2004, 12:50 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>*QUOTE* (MedicStudentJon @ Dec 25 2004, 12:50 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Summit_@Dec 8 2004, 01:52 PM
> * rescuecpt that is freakin hillarious!
> 
> I bet Target will award him the prestigious decoration: Order of the Mall Ninja  h34r: *


Stupid security guards.   [/b][/quote]
Harsh... care to try to start digging yourself out?


EDITED:

Ok, Just read one of the other posts... now I understand.  HA.


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## Jon (Dec 27, 2004)

> _Originally posted by PArescueEMT+Dec 25 2004, 03:29 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>*QUOTE* (PArescueEMT @ Dec 25 2004, 03:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-MedicStudentJon_@Dec 25 2004, 01:50 PM
> * Stupid security guards.  *


and what is it that you do again??? [/b][/quote]
 <draws self to full height, puffs chest out to show gold badge> I'm a Site EMT. <Shrivels> They just make me knock on doorknobs to keep from being bored.  :lol:


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## 40sCutest (Jan 23, 2005)

My funniest call, without question, happened on one of my oh so interesting Friday nights. Sitting around the station it was call 3 for the night which is more than we get most days. After my first heart attack and my first bad car accident I got my first drunk...

Our crew consisted of a close group of:

Driver/EMT
EMT
ME (EMT)
Attendant

This pt was completely wrecked. We got called to a potential overdose which just turned out to be worried parents. Either way he was drunk enough to need to be wheeled out so I guess they did the right think by calling us.  I didn't even get to see him until we were in the ambulance because the room was so small. 

The medic and I started working on the pt and he started to babble like most drunks do. He noticed that the medic was married and commented on how great that was. After all how nice would it be to be married when he and his girlfriend had just broken up?

Then the medic says something to me about another first... after all when you're new all you have are firsts. The pt then notices me... sitting working on vitals, making sure the line drips ok. Just doing my job. And he starts to shamelessly hit on me. 

Normal guys are bad enough... Staring at your chest and giving you insane compliments about being the cutest ever and all that but drunks are worse. And being stuck in the back of a rig with one? Just imagine.

He tells me how pretty I am, how great it is that I'm not married, how lucky they are to work with such a pretty girl. Goes on and on. Of course our attendant isn't helping. The other EMT? Driving the rig and laughing!

When we got to the ER the staff, who I'm getting to know very well by the 3rd time in 4 hours, can't help but laugh at the pt who is still focused on me. 

In the meantime the whole Fire House had heard about my ordeal and can't help but think that it is great. When I get back everyone is waiting to hear about my first drunk. Of course my partners have no problem filling in the answers to their questions, with full reenactment. Stumbling impression and all.

I'm so lucky to have such a close crew!!


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## rescuecpt (Jan 23, 2005)

40's - I had a call similar to that, but luckily I remained in the Captain's chair and out of sight (doing crew chief things).  But one of our EMT's, a 65 year old RN, wasn't so lucky. This drunk 30 year old hit on her shamelessly the whole way to the hospital.  I think the only reason he didn't try to touch her was because the other EMT was built like a tank and threatened to squash him!


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## 40sCutest (Jan 23, 2005)

I'm not quite built that great. I was so embarassed!


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## Jon (Jan 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by 40sCutest_@Jan 23 2005, 06:32 PM
> * I'm not quite built that great. I was so embarassed! *


 This One time, at the Ambualnce Comapny......

I once had an approx. 40y/o Female, VERY altered, on a ED to Drug Treatment Center transfer. The pateint seemed very convinced that there was a fat naked guy lying on the bench seat. Now, remeber, I'm a little on the heavy side, but I was sitting in the Captains chair the whole hour-long ride except for the 3 times I was on the bench seat taking her B/P.

Patient was then refused by the treatment center, as they stated they were not an intensive, hospital based treatment center, and there was NO WAY the patient was CAOx4, as the sending physician had stated, plus the fact that she is drawing pictures in the air with her hands, and has NO CLUE where she is or was. Heck, I don't think we got a consistant answer on her name!

60 minutes later, we were compleatly refused by the facilities' Medical Director, who called the sending ED's attending and laughed at him, and then we went BACK into the city and dropped the patient off in the SAME ED, 3 hours later.

And this was my first day out of traing at my first paid EMS job. Gotta love Private Transport.  

Jon


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## Jon (Jan 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by MedicStudentJon_@Jan 23 2005, 09:31 PM
> * This One time, at the Ambualnce Comapny......
> *


 Long story short - I once had a patient see a fat naked guy on the bench seat. There was not fat guy on the bench seat for long periods of time, and I WAS NOT NAKED :lol: 

Jon


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## MedicPrincess (Jan 25, 2005)

As a FF, the first Combative Patient I got the "honor" of sitting on for the ride to the ED began his trip to by kicking the EMT out of the back of the Med Unit.  A few restraints here, and a few there, and he was pretty much secure for the 25 minute ride.  

So the medic is a big tall red haired hillbilly looking dude.  And here I am sitting on this guys legs and our pt it screaming and spitting at the medic.  Calling him everything but a white guy.  Finally, the medic tells me to try to talk to him, see what happens.

So I reach up, touch his chin and say his name.  He looks at me as if it was the first time ever seeing me there, and smiles.  He has some of the nasties teeth, covered in blood I had ever seen (up to that point), and here comes the sweetness.  "Oh baby, what you doing on top of me?"  "Oh baby, I love a woman who likes to be on top."  "Oh baby, when I get out of here you want to go out sometime?"  And on and on and on and on.  Every time the medic would say something, either to the pt, or his partner or calling the hospital, or to me....the Pt would start cursing and swearing and name calling again.  Then he would look at me and apologize, and say how sorry he was I put "Us" (yep, by now we were an US) is this awful position.  Before we left the ER he asked one of the nurses to let me know that he hopes to marry a girl just like me someday.

When we got back to the FD, the medic made sure to recount the entire incident to my crew.  Right down to the whole marrying someone like me.

And I just really wanted to take a bath with Bleach and a Brill-O Pad.


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## coloradoemt (Jan 29, 2005)

This may only be funny to me but here ya go... Got a call to assist with a drug overdose/suicide attempt. Town we were helping had their one ambulance already out. So we get this gal in the rig and take off w/her swearing and very combative, the fun stuff!!    Anyway the hospital we were taking her to employes my Dad as the head of the blood lab and he works in the emergency room as well. So we roll her in and I gave my info, (what little I could get) to my Dad, and then listened to this gal cuss him up one side and down the other while he was trying to get the rest of her info. We got quite a chuckle out of it as neither of us thought it happens very often that a Father/Son combo gets cussed at by the same woman in one day. Plus the fact I have never heard anyone rip into my father that way. Maybe ya had to be there...  :lol:


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## 40sCutest (Jan 29, 2005)

Whenever I go with my mother to work at the hospitals her combative patients crack me up. I love seeing them yell at her because I know she'd never take it from me. It gets even better when they are nicer to me than they are to her.


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## cbdemt (Jan 29, 2005)

I think I may have posted this before somewhere, but I'll post again.  

I was doing my clinical with our local FD.  We were called for an pt ETOH & Resp problems.  On scene we found a female mid 40's on her couch screaming how she was going to die.  So I'm thinking, where’s the resp problem?  Anyway, this woman is a chronic asthma pt (been tubed 3x before).  She felt an attack coming on so she took her meds, which weren’t helping.  Then she tried a cocktail. She said her MD told her it may help to open her up.  She tried another, another, and yet another.  After her 4th double she’s in such a panic that she will go into resp arrest again that she didn’t realize she was breathing fine.  

So she tells us that she wants to go to the hospital to die.  We're trying to get vitals, and package her and she’s fighting us all the way.  We load her, and I sit down on the jump seat beside her.  She’s still fighting and yelling that she's "died 3 times, THREE TIMES!!!!  JUST LET ME DIE, OOOOOOOOOOOH TAKE ME JESUS!!!"  Then I said "mam, you're not going to die etc." She stops and looks at me, sits up off the cot, takes her O2 mask off, and says... "oooh you’re a cutie, I cant be dying in front of you... mm mm mm cute."  The rest of the trip she laid quietly except for the occasional flirtation now and then.  

I remember it like it was yesterday, psycho to 0 in .5seconds.  I miss out on all the drunken fun now. The town I volley for is "dry" not a bar or bottle of beer for sale within 15 minutes.


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