# Questions You Don't Ask Medical Personnel...



## mycrofft (May 22, 2009)

Some are funny. Some are sad. Some are silly. Just as you don't ask an actor "Which co-stars did you hate most?", or a plumber, "Flood any houses today?", there are some questions we feel uncomfortable being asked...but often wish we could answer anyway!


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## flhtci01 (May 22, 2009)

You mean like "Where did you rank in your graduation class?" :blush:


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## Sasha (May 22, 2009)

Or do you mean like, if you see someone in an EMT uniform or scrubs or something in the 711 trying to pay for gas, don't walk up to them, and show them your festering sore and ask "Does this look infected??" or rattle off a list of symptoms and signs and ask "So...what do you think it is?"


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## Onceamedic (May 22, 2009)

Questioner on the edge of his/her seat, glazed look of expectancy on his/her face - "I bet you see some pretty bad stuff huh?"


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## Shishkabob (May 22, 2009)

"What's the worst death you've seen"


"How many times have you done CPR"


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## HasTy (May 22, 2009)

Kill anyone today???


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## HotelCo (May 22, 2009)

"If I drink this this and this, and then chase it down with this... Do you think I'll get alcohol poisoning?"


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## firecoins (May 22, 2009)

HasTy said:


> Kill anyone today???



dropped anyone today???


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## mycrofft (May 22, 2009)

*How about...*

(wink wink) "I betcha geta lot witha rolling bedroom like that, dontcha?"


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## JPINFV (May 22, 2009)

Is someone hurt?


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## HasTy (May 22, 2009)

at three o'clock in the morning dont ask what the problem is just ask can you walk to my ambulance.


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## MSDeltaFlt (May 22, 2009)

Preparing for a procedure.

Pt: Have you ever done this before?

Me: Nope.

Then immediately perform said procedure.


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## vquintessence (May 22, 2009)

MSDeltaFlt said:


> Preparing for a procedure.
> 
> Pt: Have you ever done this before?
> 
> ...



YES!  EJ with a minimum of 16ga!


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## fma08 (May 22, 2009)

MSDeltaFlt said:


> Preparing for a procedure.
> 
> Pt: Have you ever done this before?
> 
> ...



Here's what happens under those circumstances.... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SwQtVsRXsc


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## mycrofft (May 23, 2009)

*Then there are the questions a'la Mythbusters:*

 " 'ja ever se someone's EYE pop out!?"

"What if like a Rottwiler grabbed one foot, and a pitbull grabbed the other, would they like tear you in _half_?"

"I see'd em do that on Mythbusters, they said this is what you do, why aintch doin' it RIGHT?"....

(Go to their online forum. Oh mommy.)


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## MSDeltaFlt (May 23, 2009)

mycrofft said:


> " 'ja ever se someone's EYE pop out!?"
> 
> "What if like a Rottwiler grabbed one foot, and a pitbull grabbed the other, would they like tear you in _half_?"
> 
> ...



Had a scene flight where my pt lost both prosthetic eyes.  Noone warned me before I went to check pupils.  But as I shined my light into two dark holes, I realized... dude ain't got no eyes.

Surreal would be an understatement.


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## el Murpharino (May 23, 2009)

This happened to me just last week:

24 year old stoned Blonde girl:  "So do you work out of a hospital or something?"

Me:  "Nope, I work out of that ambulance" - points to ambulance 10 feet from front door of convenience store

Blonde girl:  "Oh, so you're an ambulance driver?"

Me: Sigh...

I've given up on correcting people...


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## exodus (May 23, 2009)

el Murpharino said:


> This happened to me just last week:
> 
> 24 year old stoned Blonde girl:  "So do you work out of a hospital or something?"
> 
> ...



Shoulda said, "Am I driving the ambulance or you?  "


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## Onceamedic (May 23, 2009)

el Murpharino said:


> This happened to me just last week:
> 
> 24 year old stoned Blonde girl:  "So do you work out of a hospital or something?"
> 
> ...



Rid's funny quote -
"Is it hard to be an ambulance driver?"
"Yep - that's why the stupid ones ride in the back"


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## Afflixion (May 23, 2009)

My favorite when someone called me an ambulance driver was "yeah, you load yourself onto the cot and me and my partner here will sit up front and drive you can treat yourself."


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## guardian528 (May 23, 2009)

"whats the worst thing you've ever seen?"

(as you are finishing up)"what happened to him/her?"


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## firecoins (May 23, 2009)

"hey, ambulance driver how do i get to...."


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## imurphy (May 23, 2009)

Man down, not dispatched, just a flailing crowd ran to get me from coffee shop Got around the corner and saw the patient. 

Checked for a pulse and I hear from man in crowd behind me

"Aren't you going to do something?"

Me thinking "No.. Just gonna see if he gets better himself"


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## mikie (May 23, 2009)

I always hated, "How old are you?  You look awfully young to be doing this"

I never knew what to say.


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## NJN (May 24, 2009)

mikie said:


> I always hated, "How old are you?  You look awfully young to be doing this"
> 
> I never knew what to say.



"Well, they just let me out of kindergarten last week...(Start singing the ABCs at this point)


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## Hal9000 (May 25, 2009)

In the back of the ambulance:

"Do you know how to operate this machine?"  "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THIS MACHINE."

And I think the pt was referring to...well, I'm not sure.  Maybe driving the ambulance-machine, which I was not doing.

EDIT: Punct.


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## VFFforpeople (May 25, 2009)

Not really a question, but more a statement. I hate when people that have no clue about laws and what not, come up and tell me: "Hey, you have to respond not matter what, not that you are an EMT."

I used to explain it..but I gave up. Lol, I just say I am off duty, and never wear EMS clothing.


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## Hockey (May 25, 2009)

"Did someone call 911"


I'll admit, I have done this more times then I can count


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## lightsandsirens5 (May 25, 2009)

mikie said:


> I always hated, "How old are you?  You look awfully young to be doing this"
> 
> I never knew what to say.



How about: "Are you a trainee?"

Me: "No"

"How long have you benn doing this then."

Me: " Oh, for a while now........"


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## Jon (May 25, 2009)

The one I WISH they wouldn't ask:

A neighbor/passerby: "Is he going to be OK?" "Is everything OK?" "What's going on?"

Genius--- we aren't the Publisher's Clearinghouse Prize Patrol... when we show up, someone is usually NOT having a good day. And thanks to HIPAA, and you know, the rest of the PRIVACY laws... I can't tell you anything... so leave me alone and let me deal with the lady who's constipated because the doc gave her a script for Morphine and didn't put her on Colace at the same time.

/Rant OFF


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## Sasha (May 25, 2009)

mikie said:


> I always hated, "How old are you?  You look awfully young to be doing this"
> 
> I never knew what to say.



I hate comments about age! Ugh!


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## NC13 (May 25, 2009)

"Is it Broken?" 

To which I always say the same thing "I don't have an x-ray with me, but once you get to the hospital they'll be able to tell you." 

On ski patrol, we get that 10 times a day, and its always the people with about a two inch deformity on their wrist.


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## smurfe (May 25, 2009)

Bystander or neighbor: Oh my God, What happened?
Me: Shark Bite or Plane Crash. 

When I get called Ambulance Driver I just tell them "Nope, I can't drive since the DUI charges" Usually shuts them up. 

Bystander: Is he gonna make it?
Me: Yes, in spite of our best efforts, I think he will make it.


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## mycrofft (May 26, 2009)

*Actually overheard as I was getting a grip to Heimlich a whale at Bonanza Steak House*

"Do you know what you're doing?".(This from the victim's wife, part of a party of four who couldn't spot one of their feeding party was choking to death).

And I always loved the beat-up drunks: "What are YOU doing here?".


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## amberdt03 (May 26, 2009)

Sasha said:


> I hate comments about age! Ugh!



i've never had to worry about age comments but i'm a freakin amazon so thats probably why.


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## mycrofft (May 30, 2009)

*As you shut off lights and siren and sneak back to station...*

*"Hey, Ambl'ance driver! You lost?".*


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