# # of times u say WTF? during ur shift.



## medicp94dao (May 9, 2008)

I am just curious as to how many times during ur shift any of you see or hear something that makes you say What The F*ck???? My best is at least three in one shift.

1.) Foreign body in rectum

2.) Drunk College Kid doing headstand on balcony.

3.) Dispatch laughing hysterically over radio. ( foreign body in rectum )


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## Jeremy89 (May 9, 2008)

Working retail - about 500/day.  "do you have [insert odd product here]?"  Hopefully I'll get on with this hospital...interview Tuesday!!

Sorry... ADD moment.  back on subject now.


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## NJN (May 9, 2008)

Any time we try to get food and get a run. 
Any time we get dispatched for an ETOH transport.
When the chief complaint is "It no work"
So i'm averaging 4-5 times for every 8 hours.


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## Buzz (May 9, 2008)

Thus far, has only been 1 per shift. Two of my favorites:

Elderly lady insisting that she'd been given a frontal lobotomy along with a hx that included testicular cancer :unsure:.

3AM call for a self dx of carpal tunnel syndrome. The man reeked of ETOH and proceeded to loudly voice his preference of waylon jennings over all other musicians.

My wtf moments suck.

One of my buddys had a good one, though. They got a call for a 20 something male that had taken a bit of a dive off the balcony on the second story of this house. They showed up and found the patient walking around looking extremely anxious. His chief complaint was that there was a vibrating dildo in his rectum...and it was still on. He claimed that he was standing on the balcony, tripped, and fell in such  a way that it got lodged up there.


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## firecoins (May 10, 2008)

Last night actually

A fire in a set of elevator banks in a hospital means no elevators on 10 through 16. Even though this fire occurred 24 hours priow, we need to move 30 plus patients including 6 vent patients down the stairs. 1 vent patient is 400 plus.


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## JPINFV (May 10, 2008)

Penis stuck in swim trunks. 

Discharge out of a hospital that was under a bomb threat (turned out to be a prank).


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## Airwaygoddess (May 10, 2008)

*Words......*

Sometimes I am at a loss for words....  If all else fails I just slowly shake my head.......B)


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## mdkemt (May 10, 2008)

Lets see...I am 4 hours into my shift and I already lost count thats how often my partner and I say it! or shake our heads wanting to say it!
1)  Pt came into ER stating they need Amoxil.  When ask why proceeded to tell me they had pneumonia.*not true in the least*
2)  Call for unknown sex unaged person standing in the middle of a field. *hmmm*
3)  Call for not feeling well.  On scene pt wants to go to hospital for liquid tylenol because the doctor gave a prescription for tablets.
4)  Call for SOB.  On scene pt reeked of ETOH (scene was at the lounge) was smoking a cigarette telling me they were short of breath.  Then after wanted us to give a ride to their sisters house.

These are just a few of the classic WTF! I have.


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## mdkemt (May 10, 2008)

Yikes.  The would not be a fun task in the least bit.



firecoins said:


> Last night actually
> 
> A fire in a set of elevator banks in a hospital means no elevators on 10 through 16. Even though this fire occurred 24 hours priow, we need to move 30 plus patients including 6 vent patients down the stairs. 1 vent patient is 400 plus.


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## Flight-LP (May 11, 2008)

Lately, I say WTF quite often, especially after reading some threads on this site...............

At work, not so often, there isn't a whole lot that surprises me anymore!


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## rescuepoppy (May 13, 2008)

Flight-LP said:


> Lately, I say WTF quite often, especially after reading some threads on this site...............
> 
> At work, not so often, there isn't a whole lot that surprises me anymore!



Careful there LP the last time I said that we ran a call for a MVC. Turned out to be a 16 year old hood surfing on a car with no driver in it fell off and the car went completly over him. Makes you wonder how the kids of today will survive long enough to grow up.


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## JPINFV (May 13, 2008)

rescuepoppy said:


> Makes you wonder how the kids of today will survive long enough to grow up.









nods in agreement.


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## BossyCow (May 13, 2008)

I had a pt (cc back pain) who said she was told by her doc to go to the ED by ambulance for immediate airlift out. Apparently the 'implant' that she was given was highly experimental and they needed to take it out immediately to download the data it had been collecting. We were to list her condition as back pain because her true reason was top secret. The implant was supposedly a special one that used electrical impulses to treat her GERD. She would repeatedly point to her abdomen and say "Right there, do you see it?Don't tell anyone at the ER. It's a big secret!"

Oh, and she had a 1-800 number for her medical history which she said could only be accessed by those who 'needed to know' and only by secret password.


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## Airwaygoddess (May 13, 2008)

What no secret handshake!!! B)


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## BossyCow (May 14, 2008)

Airwaygoddess said:


> What no secret handshake!!! B)



I can't say.. apparently I didn't NEED TO KNOW


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## TEK 679 (May 15, 2008)

Just about anytime the boss comes around and puts her 2 cents in.


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## firecoins (May 16, 2008)

BossyCow said:


> I had a pt (cc back pain) who said she was told by her doc to go to the ED by ambulance for immediate airlift out. Apparently the 'implant' that she was given was highly experimental and they needed to take it out immediately to download the data it had been collecting. We were to list her condition as back pain because her true reason was top secret. The implant was supposedly a special one that used electrical impulses to treat her GERD. She would repeatedly point to her abdomen and say "Right there, do you see it?Don't tell anyone at the ER. It's a big secret!"
> 
> Oh, and she had a 1-800 number for her medical history which she said could only be accessed by those who 'needed to know' and only by secret password.


How did you find out about the chip?  She told us she didn't tell anyone. Now were going to have to kill everyone who reads the thread.


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## LE-EMT (May 16, 2008)

did you obtain said 1 800 number and call it.  I would be curious to see were it lead to.  Did you transport?  I don't know that I could keep a straight face on something like that.


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## Airwaygoddess (May 17, 2008)

*comebacks and remarks.......*

Like I said before, some days I can only just slowly shake my head.... But on the other hand...  my co workers have come up with some pretty funny remarks.....  To quote me... "Oh Dear....."


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## ErinCooley (May 17, 2008)

I didnt run it, but there was recently a call over the radio for a horse and buggy without a driver.

A. I live in metro-Atlanta.  It may be the norm in say PENNSYLVANIA, I dont know that I've ever even seen a horse and buggy in person that wasnt in downtown Atlanta however.

B. WTH are EMT's and Paramedics going to do?

It was funny and the crew got hell over that one.


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## ErinCooley (May 17, 2008)

or, when calling into the hospital with report of "CPR in progress" the nurse comes back with "you forgot to give vitals"


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## VentMedic (May 17, 2008)

ErinCooley said:


> I didnt run it, but there was recently a call over the radio for a horse and buggy without a driver.



I've gotten a call like that but it ended up being a fatality at scene when we finally found the driver.  

We get calls similar to that in Florida frequently but it is "boat without driver".  It then becomes a search and rescue until it is determined to be worked as a recovery instead. 

My "WTF" followed by "were you doing" usually comes literally out of my mouth in RT more than EMS (after 30 years) these days in both the ED and LTC floor.  For example;  patients who are vent dependent quads that come in from the patio or home stoned from smoking marijuana is my pet peeve even after I told them it dries out their secretions.  Proper hydration is important before engaging in this activity.  At least I usually get them to stop smoking cigarettes.


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## Short Bus (May 18, 2008)

Probably a whole lot more than I should.  WTF!?!?!


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