# Ok, this is amusing



## fm_emt (Sep 8, 2006)

"Sexual urges of men and women
"I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT???"
So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time after the Spring of 2008 but oh boy it was worth it."
Author unknown"

*chortles*


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## c-spine (Sep 8, 2006)

lmao... If I was married and my guy said something like that, he wouldn't be getting any for a LOT longer than 2 years...


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## ffemt8978 (Sep 8, 2006)

Moved to appropriate forum.

That is funny...although I think he may have to wait longer than 2008.


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## Guardian (Sep 9, 2006)

fm_emt said:


> "Sexual urges of men and women
> "I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do."
> One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT???"
> So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
> ...






great post!


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## HorseHauler (Sep 13, 2006)

That...Is...Awesome!!!! I love it hahahahha


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## Wingnut (Sep 13, 2006)

ROFLMAO !!! :lol:  :lol:


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## Mark (Sep 17, 2006)

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!:lol:


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## islandgal (Sep 17, 2006)

That is hysterical!!!  Sounds like a Dave Barry story....


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## ffemt8978 (Sep 17, 2006)

islandgal said:


> That is hysterical!!!  Sounds like a Dave Barry story....


Who's Dave Barry?


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## islandgal (Sep 17, 2006)

ffemt 8978-

Dave Barry is a humor columnist. He is also the author of around 20 or so books, kinda dry in your face humor but what I consider a male Erma Bombeck.  Do a google search on him, he is really funny!


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## ffemt8978 (Sep 17, 2006)

Oh, okay.  I thought you might have been think of the EMS cartoonist Steve Berry.


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## fm_emt (Sep 18, 2006)

ffemt8978 said:


> Who's Dave Barry?



:O

Do you live under a toadstool?


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## ffemt8978 (Sep 18, 2006)

fm_emt said:


> :O
> 
> Do you live under a toadstool?



Better check my zip code.  My internet goes from my computer and is converted to smoke signals to get to my ISP.


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## islandgal (Sep 18, 2006)

ffemt8978-

Are you in Washington State?


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## ffemt8978 (Sep 18, 2006)

islandgal said:


> ffemt8978-
> 
> Are you in Washington State?



Yes I am, why?


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## islandgal (Sep 18, 2006)

Oh, just curious.  Me too.


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## fm_emt (Sep 18, 2006)

islandgal said:


> Oh, just curious.  Me too.



but you're probably in the part of washington that has modern things like "running water" and "electricity"


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## islandgal (Sep 18, 2006)

Hmmm...most of the time.  But our safety deposit boxes at the bank are just a bunch of shoe boxes with our names on them.  Written on duct tape of course


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