# Your Families "Confidence" in Your Training and Abilities...



## Mountain Res-Q (Sep 9, 2009)

A discusion in regards to this topic came up in Chat a while back, and I wanted to get your thoughts on this...  Obviously we all have various levels of Medical Abilities and Skills depending on your level of training and certification, but the fact remains that we all have some level of ability that is greater than your average person (even those with Basic FA/CPR from the ARC ).  Citizens call 911 when they are experiencing (at least in their minds) the worst thing ever.  They call (and I am giving them the benifit of the doubt) because they believe that once you arrive, they will be okay (to an extent).  Hence, they have a level of respect for your abilities, even if they call you "an Ambulance Driver".  LOL...  However, that respect never seems to come from family.  What do I mean?  Example:

A family member is ill or injured (choose your semi-emergent issue, we all have had this), and you, being who you are, know exactely what needs to be done, starting with you taking a look at the issue, providing some basic off-duty care, and suggesting they do this or that (Doctor, FA care, etc...).  However, it has been my experience that on things that are emergent (at least in that family members eyes), they ignore you, disregarding the fact that "Emergency" is what you do and, no matter what your level of training, you just might be in a better postition to assist here and now...  i.e., my father just "misfired" with a preasure washer and hit his leg...  he yells for me...  I take a quick look at this bloody mess... go to my SAR pack to grab by Medical Kit (15 seconds)... and the second I start cleaning the area to check it out... he is trying to get up to get to the car so that he can drive himself to Prompt Care...  This despite advise from me and my mother (i.e. let me clean it up, assess it, dress it, and then let mom drive him)...  Rather, he grabs a paper towel and starts driving himself down the hill with a nice huge abrasion and a laceration that seemed to be filled with the water or maybe it was a hematoma (didn't get enough time to exam, but with a preasure washer, there is the strong possibilty of the laceration being down the the bone, with possible internal bleeding and skelatal involvement...)

On the other hand, I am constantly getting medical (non emergent and usually after the issue has persisted for weeks) questions from family (usually over the phone or my e-mail) and they expect me to diagnose them based upon statements like: "I woke up last week with a knot in my shoulder and it hasn;t gone away... what is it", "My right finger has been twitching on and off for a month now... what it wrong", or (my personal favorite) an aunt I have not seen in 6 years sends me a e-mail photo of a red sore on her cheast that has been there for 3 weeks "what is it?"  Obviously, I can not answer these questions other than to speculate (although I could hazard an educated guess), but what good what that serve them?

So, to recap... We are in EMERGENCY Medical Services...  that is what the public calls on us to provide to them... when family has a emergent situation, they ignore us... when family has a non-emergenct situation, they suddenly remember that great-nephew (insert name here) is an "Ambulance Driver"...

What is this all about?  Has anyone else experienced this?  Am I the only one whose family thinks I am a Ambulance Driver when they injure themselves (and I can be of use), and a Neuro-Surgeon when they have a new mole?  :glare:


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## StreetPharmacist (Sep 9, 2009)

curious as to how your father turned out? did he realize that he should have taken your advise and care?


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## Shishkabob (Sep 9, 2009)

If I'm at my family's business and something pops up (such as a seizure from one of our employees who is prone to them) or an injured customer, they come and get me ASAP.


But my siblings refuse to let me practice IVs on their kids... weird.


I, too, always get all the medical questions like "What's cystic fibrosis" or some other random question... or asked what certain drugs do.


I always chalked it up to my family knows how quirky I am, and the general public, all they know is I'm an EMT, so they assume I know what I'm doing.


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## zappa26 (Sep 9, 2009)

My elderly grandfather with dementia took a fall at my dad's house a couple weeks back.  He had a deep laceration above his eye, across his right thumb, and couldn't move his right hand at all.

My dad calls me (I'm half an hour away out with friends) asking where I am and how fast I can make it to his house.  I had to convince him to just control the bleeding with paper towels and drive him to the ER ten minutes away.

I'm a MFR who hasn't even started his EMT-B class yet.


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## Mountain Res-Q (Sep 9, 2009)

StreetPharmacist said:


> curious as to how your father turned out? did he realize that he should have taken your advise and care?



Just got back from Doc in the Box... Nice, deep laceration with one heck of a hematoma...  Had a couple sutures thrown in (no local - My dad... )... but with high presure water, who knows how bad it could initially be...  



Linuss said:


> I always chalked it up to my family knows how quirky I am, and the general public, all they know is I'm an EMT, so *they assume I know what I'm doing. *



Little do they know, huh... LOL


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## Epi-do (Sep 9, 2009)

I cured my family of the phone calls, emails, text messages, etc by telling them if I am not there to physically see them, I can't even begin to venture a guess and they need to call the doctor or go get seen.  Amazingly, it also seemed to put an end to some of the more mundane medical questions you get in person from family as well.  They no longer show me their bug bites, bumps, or bruises either.  However, if I happen to be at a family member's house and someone gets injured/sick while I am there, they do tend to listen to me for the most part.  Maybe I was finally able to get them "trained" after 10 years.


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## Mountain Res-Q (Sep 9, 2009)

Epi-do said:


> I cured my family of the phone calls, emails, text messages, etc by telling them if I am not there to physically see them, I can't even begin to venture a guess and they need to call the doctor or go get seen.  Amazingly, it also seemed to put an end to some of the more mundane medical questions you get in person from family as well.  They no longer show me their bug bites, bumps, or bruises either.  However, if I happen to be at a family member's house and someone gets injured/sick while I am there, they do tend to listen to me for the most part.  Maybe I was finally able to get them "trained" after 10 years.



Ya, when I tell them that I don't know, they should see a doctor that can personally take a look and will have a better idea on what they are looking at... I get attitude from them (and in particular, from my mother) who all think I am being stuck up, or worse, that I don't know anything at all...


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## Sasha (Sep 9, 2009)

My family is really bad at "I have this pain here...what can it be?" or "does this look infected?" 

I gave up trying to explain to them I am not a doctor and not able to give medical advice, now it goes like

"I have a pain right here, what does that mean?" "You have six months to live" or "You have swine flu, oink oink" or something equally ridiculous. Slowly but surely they're learning to leave me alone.


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## JPINFV (Sep 9, 2009)

Hehe... my dad is just the execpt opposite. Unless it's some kind of dramatic accident (like accidently taking a circular saw to his thumb), he won't go to the hospital in an emergency. I swear, the last words out of his mouth before he dies is going to be, "I'm fine. Just give me a few minutes."


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## Scout (Sep 9, 2009)

You see the public assume something, my family know....


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## Hal9000 (Sep 9, 2009)

*My family.*

My family is apparently fairly healthy and not accident prone. None of my family members have ever called an ambulance and we rarely visit the hospital or ER.


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## Shishkabob (Sep 9, 2009)

Strange one though:

I've been playing at my paintball field for over 3 years and am friends with the owner, manager, and all the refs.

If someone gets injured or something other medical, they basically hand me supplies and tell me to run the show. 

In the past 3 times I've been out there, I've had (patient wise) a near syncopal episode from dehydration, an asthma attack, and a kid that got claustrophobia / hyperventilation syndrome.


Luckily, another one of my friends there is also an EMT-B and a tech at the local trauma center... so I'm not COMPLETELY knowledgeless.


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## RescueYou (Sep 9, 2009)

I know just how you feel...


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## Dominion (Sep 9, 2009)

My wife is bad about throwing me random symptoms and expecting me to tell her what's wrong.  She refuses to go to a doctor or the hospital as well.  My family isn't as bad about it, and for the most part I don't get 'my health' questions as they're all pretty good about going to the Dr.  

HOWEVER, I worked IT for awhile before EMS and it was my hobby before i worked (in school) I have a very extensive technical background and I'm VERY good at computers and such.  It's nothing for them to call me and expect me to help them setup their wireless router over the phone, or work with some random problem they are having.  I get more computer questions than I do medical, despite them all knowing what I do.  

I do get the random medical questions from them and any time I'm studying during a family function they are more than happy to help me study (drug cards) or to ask me questions about what I'm doing.  My cousins love for me to flip through the book and show them the neat pictures.


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## nomofica (Sep 10, 2009)

Dominion said:


> My wife is bad about throwing me random symptoms and expecting me to tell her what's wrong.  She refuses to go to a doctor or the hospital as well.  My family isn't as bad about it, and for the most part I don't get 'my health' questions as they're all pretty good about going to the Dr.
> 
> HOWEVER, I worked IT for awhile before EMS and it was my hobby before i worked (in school) I have a very extensive technical background and I'm VERY good at computers and such.  It's nothing for them to call me and expect me to help them setup their wireless router over the phone, or work with some random problem they are having.  I get more computer questions than I do medical, despite them all knowing what I do.
> 
> I do get the random medical questions from them and any time I'm studying during a family function they are more than happy to help me study (drug cards) or to ask me questions about what I'm doing.  My cousins love for me to flip through the book and show them the neat pictures.



I know what you mean about being asked questions while studying. I used to study while on the bus ride home from classes (it was an hour-long trip, so why not). Random strangers would come up to me asking what I'm studying for. Had a really cute girl ask if I could check out this "cut [she] may have gotten infected on my back". I was tempted...


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## JPINFV (Sep 10, 2009)

Dominion said:


> HOWEVER, I worked IT for awhile before EMS and it was my hobby before i worked (in school) I have a very extensive technical background and I'm VERY good at computers and such.  It's nothing for them to call me and expect me to help them setup their wireless router over the phone, or work with some random problem they are having.  I get more computer questions than I do medical, despite them all knowing what I do.


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## Seaglass (Sep 10, 2009)

I tell my family that if it's not something they'd go to the ER for, I probably wouldn't know what to do... and if it is, stop calling me and go to the ER. This doesn't stop them from asking. 

The only time I can recall something actually coming of one of those calls was when a family member's "stupid bugbite" turned out to be a really nasty bite from a poisonous spider. I actually managed to talk her into having it looked at, which is very rare.


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## VCEMT (Sep 11, 2009)

My family knows full well that I am very well trained and prepared to go out and do my job. It's nothing unknown to them, my father worked at a hospital as a maintenance specialist for many years and my mom is a nurse. If there is an illness that requires the activation of the EMS system, they'll call 911. I have full trust in the abilities of the medics in their area.


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## mycrofft (Sep 12, 2009)

*Confidence is important...theirs and yours.*

and intermember family politics.

You can fool strangers into thinking you jump into your pants both legs at once each AM and can raise the dead. A nice uniform and appearance help. 

Your family knows you as the kid who used a can of Right Guard and a lighter to flame-thrower his Transformer and Star Wars action figures into lumps of dripping burning goo.

A parent allowing you to assume their care feels a loss of superiority.


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## keco (Sep 16, 2009)

I'm usually a lurker but wanted to post on this thread.  Friend told her daughter the other day while on the phone with me, "Let me ask my nurse friend."  Ummm...not a nurse.  Then, to add insult to injury she poo-poo'd every suggestion I made.  

A few weeks ago I was out to eat with family after a great-uncle's funeral.  My Grandma got choked on some food and was having a coughing fit.  I noticed right away, knew she was moving air, made note that she still had good color and wasn't turning blue so I did what I'd want others to do if it were me, I left her alone and continued my meal.  My mother, on the other hand, noticed a few moments later that Grandma (her Mother) was coughing and somewhat panicked got my attention and told me to look at Grandma.  I told her, yes, I knew.  The woman's sitting two feet away - I'm not totally oblivious.  Mom's reply was, "Well, aren't you going to do something???"  Shall I start CPR or admonish her for interrupting lunch?  At this point she's handling it.  I can't do anything, nor would it benefit Grandma if I got in her face and made a big production out of it.  Let the poor woman work it out!  

The most recent, and more comical incident happened the other night.  I have a somewhat hypocondriac SIL who is the mother of two young sons.  The eldest is 4 and has already had a 'toddler's fracture' and is fairly allergic to insect bites/stings and has been having frequent nosebleeds lately.  The youngest is 12 mo. and had a really rough go a few months ago with a bout of RSV and severe, prolonged congestion.  Anyway, I received a call shortly after I'd left their house for a visit from the SIL asking if I could come back over.  Thinking one of the boys had gotten hurt or ill since I left I said sure and headed for the door.  I asked what was going on, my heart close to flutter mode, and she said she thought that they had a locust in the house. LOL  Here I am thinking that I'm going to have to save a poor little boy from injury or illness and it turns out I'm called upon to be a bug wrangler.  Yes, I did find the bug, outside, it was a catydid, and I moved it away from the window where it was serenading the boys.  Unfortunately I yanked a leg off in the process.  Oops!

My patches now say EMT-I on top & Insect wrangler on bottom! lol


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## Akulahawk (Sep 16, 2009)

*Re: Confidence is important...theirs and yours.*



mycrofft said:


> and intermember family politics.
> 
> You can fool strangers into thinking you jump into your pants both legs at once each AM and can raise the dead. A nice uniform and appearance help.
> 
> ...


That same family who has seen you growing up knows you're NOT superman. While a parent may feel a loss of superiority by allowing YOU to assume care for them, it shows a great deal of trust in YOU that they do allow you to assume care for them, when they need it.


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## Mountain Res-Q (Sep 18, 2009)

Mountain Res-Q said:


> i.e., my father just "misfired" with a preasure washer and hit his leg...  he yells for me...  I take a quick look at this bloody mess... go to my SAR pack to grab by Medical Kit (15 seconds)... and the second I start cleaning the area to check it out... he is trying to get up to get to the car so that he can drive himself to Prompt Care...  This despite advise from me and my mother (i.e. let me clean it up, assess it, dress it, and then let mom drive him)...  Rather, he grabs a paper towel and starts driving himself down the hill with a nice huge abrasion and a laceration that seemed to be filled with the water or maybe it was a hematoma (didn't get enough time to exam, but with a preasure washer, there is the strong possibilty of the laceration being down the the bone, with possible internal bleeding and skelatal involvement...)





Mountain Res-Q said:


> Just got back from Doc in the Box... Nice, deep laceration with one heck of a hematoma...  Had a couple sutures thrown in (no local - My dad... )... but with high presure water, who knows how bad it could initially be...



So, since I originally posted this here, I though I would give an update with a funny story...  

My father had me take a look at this wound several days ago and I noted that it was looking a little necrotic.  He finally went to the Doctor today, had the stitches removed, cleaned up the area, and yep… a tad necrotic and infected.  Duh, didn’t I say that 3 days ago?  On antibiotics for the next 14 days.  Okay… no problem…

My father is working on a little tile project and has been cutting said tile to fit over the last few days… you guess it…  He misfired again and sliced the hand pretty good; fairly deep, several inches long, and bleeding pretty good.  Rather than try to play Doctor again and get rebuffed I took one look at I and said, “Yep, needs stitches” and walked back into the house…  So he heads down the hill but Doc in the box is closed and he goes to the understaffed, overcrowded ER when he does get stitches and is told to do the normal wound care stuff and take his antibiotics.  My dad’s comments to me?  “I knew before I started cutting that this was a bad idea.”  “Ya, dad,  that would have been a good time to stop.”  Okay…

So after several house in the ER he returns home and immediately  starts cutting tile again.  Not a smart idea considering the freshness of the cut and the location (a place where any use of your hands has the potential to open the wound back up).  You guessed it… two minute latter he comes running into the house with blood streaming down his arm…  I took a look, stitches are fine, but wouldn’t you believe it, constant aggravation of a deep would will cause it to bleed…  Whoda Thunk It?  My dad’s comments to me?  “But the Doctor said I could go to work tomorrow so I figured that I could use it.”  “I don’t believe the Doctor realized that you are a moron, dad.”  He agreed.  And yet, he wanted to finish the work and then move on to something else.  My Mom FORCED him to sit down (literal herded him to the couch) and is forcing him to take the next two days off from work…  which makes no sense to me as all my dad’s injury’s happen at home… GO TO WORK… IT IS SAFER…

Interestingly enough, both my Dad and brother have a long list of major injuries and ER visits stemming from stupid decisions and bad judgment; injuries ranging from teeth versus sidewalk post "I'm a dolphin in a pool" incident to 2nd degree burns post jumping on a wood burning stove to a pitch fork to the foot post "my dad would garden this way" to riding a bike into a parked car post just being stupid… I have not been to the ER since I was 4 and have never even had sutures, nor even minor surgery…  what is really odd is that my father is a Postal Worker and my brother is a Cabinet Maker (and none of his injuries were construction related) and I am the guy who rappels out of helicopters, jumps into freezing Swiftwater, and perform old collapsing mine rescues…  How is that possible?


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## Theo (Sep 18, 2009)

> I worked IT for awhile before EMS and it was my hobby before i worked (in school) I have a very extensive technical background and I'm VERY good at computers and such. It's nothing for them to call me and expect me to help them setup their wireless router over the phone, or work with some random problem they are having. I get more computer questions than I do medical, despite them all knowing what I do.



I spent 12 years working for a software company before I went back to school to become a paramedic, so this quote brought back some memories. It got so bad at one point that I had to stop taking calls from anyone out of the ordinary. Funny, I don't hear from long lost friends and second cousins anymore.


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## dragonjbynight (Sep 18, 2009)

I think the simplest answer when it comes to family is not how trained you may be, or what you do, but how they view you. There are always those who see you as the nephew, niece, son or daughter and can't know all that stuff when they don't know themselves. To a stranger, you are that person who knows....just my two cents anyways.


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