# Things that get "stuck" in People besides knifes



## grant (Feb 11, 2012)

Ok I'll start from my plethora of calls over the years. LOL

Lightbulb in the rear
remote control in the rear (the patient "accidentially" sat on it. )
Cucumber x2 
Coke Bottle 
and finally

a shower head.. Ouch.... :rofl:


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## Forrest (Mar 1, 2012)

Talked to a medic that transported a person with a 3D cell police issued maglite stuck in the rear end. Doesn't sound too comfortable.

Sent from my HTC using Tapatalk


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## medickat (Mar 2, 2012)

One of my first calls as a new EMT was for an "unknown medical" which turned out to be.... just not that. 

Met the police officer at the door in this position: :rofl:

Walked in to find a woman and her dog kneeling next to each other in the bathroom. The dog was "stuck" in the woman. 

Long story short, the only way to rectify (pun intended) the situation was to help the dog "finish."

I will never forget that one.


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## JPINFV (Mar 2, 2012)

medickat said:


> One of my first calls as a new EMT was for an "unknown medical" which turned out to be.... just not that.
> 
> Met the police officer at the door in this position: :rofl:
> 
> ...




So they were in the... err... never mind...

[shudder]


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## firetender (Mar 2, 2012)

medickat said:


> I will never forget that one.


 
You and her both, and now, we're doomed to carry the image as well!


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## DrankTheKoolaid (Mar 2, 2012)

*re*

Back in the days of me working as a ER Tech many moons ago during a insanely busy 4th of July shift I see this man being brought back and placed into a ED room.  Patient was in a US Forest Service uniform uniform and walked as though he may have been having some lower back problems.  So it was one of those days I was in auto-mode as it was so busy and just grabbed Workman's comp paperwork and headed towards the room to start VS and getting info.

So I get to the room and he is standing next to the bed arching his back with his backside up in the air.  I hand him the Workers comp paper work and begin my assessment and data gathering.  He says "Oh, this isn't Workman's comp"  And I said But you in uniform did this happen before you got to work? and he says, "Yup, I have a dildo stuck up my ***"  Followed by a "Yeah, it happens..." with a serious look on his face.  Had to leave the room immediately and couldn't return to him for 10 minutes because I couldn't keep from laughing as I got even close to his room.

The MD and myself tried for 45 minutes to get that thing out with him sedated before we gave up and he had to be transferred to somewhere else to have it extracted.  

Worse thing was I would see this guy multiple times through out the years for work purposes.  Never could look him straight in the eye after that.


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## JPINFV (Mar 2, 2012)

firetender said:


> You and her both, and now, we're doomed to carry the image as well!




There are some people who enjoy that sort of image. Alas, I as well, am not one of them.


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## m0nster986 (Mar 2, 2012)

A squeegee handle


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## medickat (Mar 2, 2012)

JPINFV said:


> There are some people who enjoy that sort of image. Alas, I as well, am not one of them.



Ha, I'm sorry guys. It's just one of those stories you can't not tell.


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## Tigger (Mar 2, 2012)

Part of a Poland Springs water bottle. Surprisingly I still love that water. But mostly when my patients have something stuck in them, it's usually their own feces.


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## Handsome Robb (Mar 3, 2012)

The only "stuck" call I have ever had was a 4 year old with two fingers stuck through the top of the holes of a parmesan cheese container and that doesn't really relate so i'll be leaving this thread now :rofl:


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## CritterNurse (Mar 3, 2012)

The only stuck items I've assisted with removing were ones that were swallowed and just couldn't come out the other end without help. Haven't yet responded to a call where the item entered the wrong end.


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## Pavehawk (Mar 3, 2012)

And so the ER doc came by the medic's room and showed us a film with a fairly good sized vibrator really really deep.  "Hey just stand outside room 4 and listen..."  He had an evil grin on his face and we, of course, followed.

He walked in and you could hear the slap of the film going up on the viewer. "Well Mr. Smith this is pretty far up there I think we are gonna have to take you to the OR, but the question I have is this. Do you want the surgeon to remove it or just change the batteries?"


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## SoCal911 (Mar 3, 2012)

Doorknob up the keester!


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## JPINFV (Mar 3, 2012)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU[/youtube]


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## rmabrey (Mar 3, 2012)

NVRob said:


> The only "stuck" call I have ever had was a 4 year old with two fingers stuck through the top of the holes of a parmesan cheese container and that doesn't really relate so i'll be leaving this thread now :rofl:



3 year old with the same problem. She screamed when she saw the trauma sheers come out 

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## NomadicMedic (Mar 3, 2012)

Carrot in the bum. 

I told the RN what was going on and when the trauma doctor walked in, I just had to say, "ehhh, what's up doc?" he looked puzzled when the nurse and I were laughing. The guy just looked sheepish and said, "I have a carrot up my a$$."

Brilliant.


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## Handsome Robb (Mar 3, 2012)

rmabrey said:


> 3 year old with the same problem. She screamed when she saw the trauma sheers come out
> 
> Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk



That's exactly what we used. Mom tried for 30 minutes with kitchen scissors PTA.  We were on scene for exactly 10 minutes and that included the elevator ride to the 4th floor and back down. Needless to say she asked where she could buy a pair while we were on our way out haha.


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## thelastjedi010 (Mar 22, 2012)

*the good and the ugly*

So back in the early days as paramedic I have seen many of inserted items. Here are two stories that are unfortunately true.

*It’s a what and where?*

I responded to a local college apartment complex for a report of abdominal pain. The patient is a 21 yo female who looked to be about 16 weeks pregnant. I started my interview fully aware this 4’11” woman was standing completely naked slightly hunched forward. I ran through the usual and the patient stated she wanted to go. Initially my partner and I thought it was a rather large pleasuring device that has gotten stuck.

We got the stretcher situated and asked the patient to sit down. She politely refused then asked to speak to me in private. The young lady then proceeded to explain how she was without a boyfriend and used alternative means to satisfy her needs. I advised her that she can lie on the stretcher in any means that would be comfortable. 

The patient lay on the stretcher LLR with her back to me when I noticed a bottle top. I asked the patient about the bottle top. She quickly asked if she should drain it first or drain it at the hospital. I replied to her by saying what ever is comfortable for her. She moved to the bathroom and by the sounds found another way to satisfy her needs with the object she used.

We transported the patient to the local trauma center and started and IV and reevaluated her abdomen.

I called report and received no orders. Upon arrival we met the trauma doctor and moved the patient to the primary trauma room. We gently transferred her to the hospital bed and I went to the Radiology room. The doctor ordered several xrays and a ct. The first xray and subsequent xrays all showed a large bottle lodged in her rectum. The patient was sent to immediate surgery. 

When we returned later we saw the trauma surgeon and he showed us images of the 3 Liter generic soda bottle that they removed. He also gave us a promising outlook for the patient and a message for us from the patient. The patient wanted us to have her number and asked us to call her in a few days. My partner married her a few years later.

*The aliens*

My truck responded to a local mental health institution for a non-emergency transport. There we met staff and a 36 yo male who has been in and out of the facility over the years. The patient self admitted himself due to the aliens attacking him. The reason we were called is because a pen was missing from the admin room and the patient has a history of swallowing things. 

We transported the patient to the local ED and en route the patient began having a fit and grabbed the pen from my hand and started undoing his pants. The patient became combative when I tried to get the pen back. I tried calming the patient down and advised my partner to pull over and get law enforcement. The patient started screaming the aliens over and over and then dropped his underwear and grabbed his penis. Before my partner or I could do anything the patient had shoved the pen into his penis and calmed down. The patient advised us the aliens could no longer get into his body because of the pen. The patient calmed down and we continued transport with law enforcement following. 

We arrived at the ED and advised what had happened. The patient transferred to their bed and the patient calmly looked at me then said, “Would you like your pen back?”  

The sad part of this story is we saw him 2 more times. The next time was as he was self admitting and a nurse noticed blood in his groin. We arrived to eval and noticed several holes in his penis from where the patient admitted to inserting sewing needles. The ED removed over 40. 
The last time was during a stay he had problems urinating. The staff transferred the patient to us and we transported to the hospital. The staff immediately tried a Foley with no success. The patient was sent to CT. A nurse gathering his clothing found a rolled up tube of plastic cement. The patient admitted to squeezing the whole tube into his penis to permanently keep the aliens out. The end result was castration because the cement was squeezed in over 20 hours prior to admission at the mental health facility.


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## pa132399 (Mar 23, 2012)

n7lxi said:


> Carrot in the bum.
> 
> I told the RN what was going on and when the trauma doctor walked in, I just had to say, "ehhh, what's up doc?" he looked puzzled when the nurse and I were laughing. The guy just looked sheepish and said, "I have a carrot up my a$$."
> 
> Brilliant.



laughing histerically now probably because i would have done the exact same thing. wow A+ on that one:rofl:


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## Steveb (Mar 23, 2012)

grant said:


> Ok I'll start from my plethora of calls over the years. LOL
> 
> Lightbulb in the rear
> remote control in the rear (the patient "accidentially" sat on it. )
> ...



Ummmmhhhh I never want to work where you work.......


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## mycrofft (Mar 23, 2012)

Motorcyclist with a collapsed beer can jammed part way into his mouth when he hit the tree at an estimated 60 mph.
That's one type of incident a full face mask can prevent unless it has those can holder thingees with straws like this helmet:


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## thetincan (Apr 28, 2012)

in my class saw and xray of a pt rear they put a shampoo bottle then tried to remove it with a coat hanger. the story they told was they where in the shower and fell on it.. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Mad Russian (May 27, 2012)

Full size jelly jar required trip to OR.


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## EMT2B (May 27, 2012)

thelastjedi010 said:


> ... The end result was castration because the cement was squeezed in over 20 hours prior to admission at the mental health facility.



I think you meant penile amputation, right jedi?  Castration would be the surgical removal of the testicles.  Amputation would be the penis itself.  Easy to get them confused though.


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## mycrofft (May 27, 2012)

*He allegedly called his boss before losing consciousness .*

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...1/Driver-impaled-on-pole-telephoned-boss.html


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## abckidsmom (May 27, 2012)

I had a guy one time who was drunk and woke up in his car with his penis in a beer bottle.  Rather swollen in there.  

He went to the OR, and they cut it off.  

The bottle, lol.


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## mycrofft (May 28, 2012)

Glasscutter I hope.


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## TB 3541 (May 28, 2012)

mycrofft said:


> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...1/Driver-impaled-on-pole-telephoned-boss.html



Wow, that guy is so lucky to be alive.


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## TatuICU (May 28, 2012)

Penis in a tequila bottle with ejaculate. Uro came in, drew a picture of what he was going to do for the patient complete with the Patron markings. Wrapped the bottle, broke it, and rescued the penis......sort of.


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## Smellypaddler (Jun 17, 2012)

when I was in the army one of the guys got his penis stuck in a glass milk bottle.

We all played rock, paper, scissors to work out who was going to smash it off :rofl:

I haven't come across anything on road yet but one of my colleagues attended a couple the other day where the gentleman was stuck in the ladies abdominal stoma......


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## Ghostnineone (Jun 17, 2012)

Heard about a guy that tried to fix his constipation by jamming a vibrating tooth brush up his rear. It got stuck of course.

Someone else filled their rectum with polyurethane foam because they "wanted a buttplug that filled them"

The 3lt soda bottle and the aliens guy are pretty ridiculous...


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## armywifeemt (Jun 27, 2012)

Not my own story, but just as a reference... you probably shouldn't "sit" on tennis balls if you are allergic to latex.


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