What is your most ridiculous call?

neurogenic

Forum Ride Along
5
0
0
It was 11pm, took an emergency call, 16yr old on the line, "uh, i need some medical advice" transferred to our Call centre Doctor......

Caller: Uh, Doc, my girlfriend and I were having sex :wub::wub:
Doctor: Were you using protection?
Caller: Yes, thats the thing
Doctor: okay, what?
Caller: It klnda slipped off during sex, and they looked for, but cannot feel/see it
<<now by then, I had conferenced almost everybody in on the call - We were all laughing already (i know, Bad me :) >>
Doctor: (Also trying to control herself) Well, if you cannot see it, go see a doctor in the morning
Caller: Okay, but what can we expect?
Doctor: Wait 9 months and see!:blush::blush::blush:

Now, to this day, when I activate her for an Air Ambulance, we still giggle about it.
 

firetender

Community Leader Emeritus
2,552
11
38
Breathless Paramedic, on the radio, calling in:

"I'm at the scene of a 22 yo female, pregnant, contractions about 30 seconds apart..."

RN on duty

"Put on your gloves, John!"
 

Paranini

Forum Probie
10
1
0
Had a drunk climb into the back of a PD K9 car with the dog inside. After we were able to pull him out with several bites to the legs, he told us he thought it was a taxi. Also had a homeless frequent flyer who had run out of legit complaints so he told us his nipples hurt, LOL
 

mycrofft

Still crazy but elsewhere
11,322
44
48
What. Isleton not locking their K-9 car doors now?

(Just guessing!).
I think I shared the one about the lady in the garbage disposal.

My coworker and I pulled up to transport a lady to the hospital, she hadn't eaten in three days and had what we called "OBS" back then ("organc bain syndrome", now mostly replaced by "Alzheimer's disease"). We walked in with a wheelchair and our blue uniforms with ties (clip ons), she saw the company name on the shirts and said we were part of a conspiracy, a secret alliance of companies all with that common word in their title, including movers, plumbers, tv repair, and everything else. I looked at my coworker, he looked at me. I pulled out my active duty USAF ID, he pulled out his retired military ID, she looked at them, then said "Oh all right. I'll go quietly".
And she did.;)
 
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housert

Forum Probie
16
1
0
We have a "frequent flyer" who broke her back many years ago and became addicted to pain pills. When she needs her fix, she calls us. On my first run to her house her husband, who just got out of jail, met us at the door and proceeded to show us how he took a chainsaw to the doorway so that our cot would fit through easier. He then told us he was disconnecting his phone so his wife couldn't call when she was done at the ER but when we wheeled her past him he told her to call as soon as she needed a ride! Found out the next day that he finally put the phone back on the hook the that morning and went to pick her up but was pulled over and arrested on the way for an outstanding warrant!
 

EMTDON970

Forum Crew Member
33
0
0
Had a guy call because he was constipated for a week, told me he even stuck his finger and tried to pull a turd out, and it didnt work, now he has pain there and leg and abdominal pain....
 

flhtci01

Forum Captain
319
0
0
About 0230 on morning, I answered the phone to hear "This is .... at so and so ER. We have a pregnant woman who is starting to crown and contractions are two minutes apart. :eek: How soon can you get here?" I replied about 15 minutes (we were about 12 miles away). She replied "I'll call you right back" In the back ground I hear "I'm calling 911". Never did get the call back.B)
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
7,667
11
0
About 0230 on morning, I answered the phone to hear "This is .... at so and so ER. We have a pregnant woman who is starting to crown and contractions are two minutes apart. :eek: How soon can you get here?" I replied about 15 minutes (we were about 12 miles away). She replied "I'll call you right back" In the back ground I hear "I'm calling 911". Never did get the call back.B)
If they are at the ER why were they calling 911? Could they not deliver the baby there? :ph34r:
 

flhtci01

Forum Captain
319
0
0
If they are at the ER why were they calling 911? Could they not deliver the baby there? :ph34r:
Small rural ER, no OB on site. I think they delivered it.
 

FF-EMT Diver

Forum Captain
289
12
18
Thanks people you jinxed me, We were having a nice quiet day the other crew has ran one call, So I think I'll read stupid calls well lo and behold one calls in, 18 Y/O male C/O Abd pain, Pain on urination, Find PT. ambulatory advises he has been hurting for a wk, say's if we want him to go to ER he will, after explaining that it is not my choice he say's he quesses he will, Ask him about parents they're inside but dont have a car!!, When will they learn phone calls and cabs are cheaper than EMS.
 

SmokeyBear

Forum Crew Member
54
1
0
Thanks people you jinxed me, We were having a nice quiet day the other crew has ran one call, So I think I'll read stupid calls well lo and behold one calls in, 18 Y/O male C/O Abd pain, Pain on urination, Find PT. ambulatory advises he has been hurting for a wk, say's if we want him to go to ER he will, after explaining that it is not my choice he say's he quesses he will, Ask him about parents they're inside but dont have a car!!, When will they learn phone calls and cabs are cheaper than EMS.
I'm so glad you posted this first or Im not sure anyone would have believed this one. My most ridiculous call--I kid you not:
We received a call on our ALS unit (don't get me started) for a young lady whose chief complaint was that she was bitten in her perineal area by a wasp.
We arrived at the scene to find her boyfriend in tears claiming that she was, and I quote, "all slimy and &&^%(" Took one look and realized it was a chancer sore--syphilis. My partner (the medic in this case) couldn't restrain himself and proceeded to ask why they called this an emergency. The female responded; "He lost his license and my ex stole my car."
 

SmokeyBear

Forum Crew Member
54
1
0
We get there and the pt is walking over to the ambulance crying he looks at me and says "i have a boil in my butt and on my privates"
So i have him jump in the ambulance and once my partner closes the doors he drops his pants and spreads his cheeks! I was speechless!! i told him to lay however he could on the cot and had my male partner tech the call! i couldn't keep a straight face when looking at him!
:blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink:
 

sabbymedic

Forum Crew Member
39
0
0
I have taken someone to the hospital who complained of a cold and did not like the medication the doctor gave her that afternoon. She put Vapo Rub on her chest waited till 0330 and decided she was not better after a day so called 911 met us at the curb.

Her Husband followed behind in the car!!!!
 

el Murpharino

Forum Captain
424
2
0
I have taken someone to the hospital who complained of a cold and did not like the medication the doctor gave her that afternoon. She put Vapo Rub on her chest waited till 0330 and decided she was not better after a day so called 911 met us at the curb.

Her Husband followed behind in the car!!!!
No big deal....it's free to them! :D

Although a horrendous abuse of the 911 system.
 

Station2

Forum Probie
14
1
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Dispatched for a BANDAID!

We get a call around 11:30 am for "an approximate 50 year old male patient that fell through a window in a house under construction." Sounds exciting right? Turned out that the male patient had "tripped" inside his 5th wheel parked outside the home he was remodeling and hit his hand on a window. The window cracked, barely, and the gentlemen had a very small scratch on his wrist. We applied a bandaid, however, it was questionable if it was needed. I now cosider myself a certified bandaid applier. :)
 

traumateam1

Forum Asst. Chief
597
1
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More than just a coffee..

Nocturnal_EMT said:
We get there and the pt is walking over to the ambulance crying he looks at me and says "i have a boil in my butt and on my privates"
So i have him jump in the ambulance and once my partner closes the doors he drops his pants and spreads his cheeks! I was speechless!! i told him to lay however he could on the cot and had my male partner tech the call! i couldn't keep a straight face when looking at him!
Haha.. here we go! ^_^

My partner and I were at Tim Hortons 0800 on a Saturday. Just sit down after the Long line up and short staff, when an Indonesian fellow walks up to us.
P/t: Hey.. uhm you guys are medical right?
My partner: Yes we are sir, how can we help you?
P/t: Uhm I have a cyst on my back.. can you take a look at it.
Partner turns around and looks at me.. rolls his eyes and I say: yes we sure can, come outside with us.
So we walk to our rig, partner grabs his BLS jump kit outta the rig. We were expecting him to lift up his shirt, we pop it, drain it and then apply polysporin and non adhesive gauze and go back to coffee. So we got our bag.
Me: Okay sir, lets take a look at that.
P/t: Uh.. well it's not on my back, sorry.. it's on my bum I just call it my backside to be polite.
So he then informs me he just took an international flight from Indonesia and he thinks that the long flight caused it.. he informs my partner and I that he is staying in the hotel right across the street from here.. I'm gonna refer him to a hosp. when my partner says we'll go over and take a look.
So just then my partners family just arrives.. forget why, so I grab the bag and start walking with him over to the hotel while my partner talks to his family and gets the rig. He tells me he's a scientist here for some confrence and yadda yadda... so we get into his room
P/t: So should I just drop my pants?
Me: Uh ye...
P/t drops his pants and pulls out some bloody paper towel, spreads them open wide and says "can you see?"
My partner gives me a laugh and says ENJOY! So then I take a look and tell him he's gotta go to the hospital.
I give him some polysporin and a non stick gauze to shove in there, tell him how to get to the hospital and we are on our way.
Laughed our heads off once we got back in the rig.
 

Bosco578

Forum Captain
382
0
0
Haha.. here we go! ^_^

My partner and I were at Tim Hortons 0800 on a Saturday. Just sit down after the Long line up and short staff, when an Indonesian fellow walks up to us.
P/t: Hey.. uhm you guys are medical right?
My partner: Yes we are sir, how can we help you?
P/t: Uhm I have a cyst on my back.. can you take a look at it.
Partner turns around and looks at me.. rolls his eyes and I say: yes we sure can, come outside with us.
So we walk to our rig, partner grabs his BLS jump kit outta the rig. We were expecting him to lift up his shirt, we pop it, drain it and then apply polysporin and non adhesive gauze and go back to coffee. So we got our bag.
Me: Okay sir, lets take a look at that.
P/t: Uh.. well it's not on my back, sorry.. it's on my bum I just call it my backside to be polite.
So he then informs me he just took an international flight from Indonesia and he thinks that the long flight caused it.. he informs my partner and I that he is staying in the hotel right across the street from here.. I'm gonna refer him to a hosp. when my partner says we'll go over and take a look.
So just then my partners family just arrives.. forget why, so I grab the bag and start walking with him over to the hotel while my partner talks to his family and gets the rig. He tells me he's a scientist here for some confrence and yadda yadda... so we get into his room
P/t: So should I just drop my pants?
Me: Uh ye...
P/t drops his pants and pulls out some bloody paper towel, spreads them open wide and says "can you see?"
My partner gives me a laugh and says ENJOY! So then I take a look and tell him he's gotta go to the hospital.
I give him some polysporin and a non stick gauze to shove in there, tell him how to get to the hospital and we are on our way.
Laughed our heads off once we got back in the rig.
Nasty! Give him a roll of kling to cram in there!
 

Bosco578

Forum Captain
382
0
0
I have taken someone to the hospital who complained of a cold and did not like the medication the doctor gave her that afternoon. She put Vapo Rub on her chest waited till 0330 and decided she was not better after a day so called 911 met us at the curb.

Her Husband followed behind in the car!!!!
These "people" are everywere. I have had similar calls like this. Just makes my blood boil. People really are tards.
 

traumateam1

Forum Asst. Chief
597
1
0
sabbymedic said:
I have taken someone to the hospital who complained of a cold and did not like the medication the doctor gave her that afternoon. She put Vapo Rub on her chest waited till 0330 and decided she was not better after a day so called 911 met us at the curb.

Her Husband followed behind in the car!!!!
This is when we should be able to refuse treatment/transport!!!
 

BossyCow

Forum Deputy Chief
2,910
5
0
Mmmmmmm Tim Bits!
 

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