What is your most ridiculous call?

From the other side (in the U.S. at least)

I probably shouldn't post this, partly because I'm just a student, not EMT yet, and partly because its from when I was the patient, but... I drove myself to the hospital one evening for an emergency ------ (under the circumstances, I keeping this private) and waited about three hours while an intake person was arguing with my insurance company about coverage. I had tried to get my doctor's answering service to page my gp earlier, without getting a response, and was unable to wait to make an appt (take my word on this). The lady (I think she was an intake nurse) then came and told me that if anything like this comes up to call 911 and get an ambulance. "But..." I argued "this problem has nothing to do with my ability to drive to the hospital!" She patiently told me it doesn't matter, that health insurance companies will much less likely challenge a claim, and approve treatment quickly if someone calls 911 and calls it an emergency, no matter what the condition is.
So while I realize there are a lot of patients who abuse the system out of stupidity, this kind of behavior is actually ENCOURAGED by the system. People know you're writing up something to present to insurance companies, and may be afraid they won't get ANY treatment unless they make outrageous claims. It sucks.
 
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Teaching First Aid

Some of my wierdest situations have happened when I have been teaching first aid, apart from DVD players spazzing out, projectors dying, etc.

MN requires special-needs transport drivers to go through 20 hours of training, including 4 hours of Basic First Aid. The program I use has a fairly graphic (simulated) thumb amputation scene, and one of the drivers did not tell me he had a problem with the sight of blood. During that scene, he went out of the room to get a bottle of water. Coming back into the room, he fainted and fell face-forward on the floor. I got over to him and found he had split open the bridge of his nose, obviously broken his nose. split his upper lip, knocked two teeth loose and wasn't breathing due to his tongue blocking his airway. I stabilized the spine, got the airway and had someone call 911. Needless to say, I had to come back a few days later and finish the class, using an older, animated program.

Another time I was teaching Wilderness First Aid at a church, to a Boy Scout troop going to Philmont. There was a minor medical emergency in the church office, and the parish nurse asked my opinion. I agreed with her it was best to let the medics handle it, but stayed in the office and she called 911. While I was doing this, my class was practicing their CPR skills in the fellowship hall, with large glass windows facing the parking lot. The First Responder units pull in the lot, and sees the scouts doing CPR through the windows, and call it in as "CPR in progress". Well, you can imagine how surprised :glare: everyone was when they all finally figured out what was really going on.

This one wasn't a teaching incident, but I use it in every first aid/first responder class I teach, to stress the importance of good Patient Assessment. I used to live in a very rural fire district in upstate New York. I was captain of the non-transporting rescue squad, and lived on the north end of the district. Our fire hall was on the south end, so it was not uncommon for me to respond directly to the scene on north-side calls, and start treatment until he rest of the squad, or the the ambulance from the next village arrived. One afternoon I got toned out for a PI-MVA on the bridge below my house. I got down there, and saw that there was a firefighter's blue light in the wreckage of this Pinto that has spun out on the bridge, so I knew it was another FF volunteer. The neighbors were yelling at me from a nearby house, "She's up here!" I get up to the house, and here is this gal lying on the sofa, A&Ox4, but CC of severe pain in the upper right quadrant of the Abd. I palped the ab, and she jerked and guarded from pain, rigid and tender. The chief from the transporting department was there at that point and I asked, "Doug, where's the ambulance?" He answered, "It's outside." I asked,"Where's the medic?" He looks at me and answered, "You're working on her." I looked at her and she said, "You're doing fine." (She was an AEMT-III--which only means anything if your were a NYS EMT 20 years ago-- I was an EMT-B at the time, but had been a paramedic about 4 years previous, before reciprocity.) I replied, "I hope so!" The chief asked, "You are going in with us, right?" We got her packaged, in MAST (remember them??) and were sent directly to Syracuse, an hour away. She survived. Really stressed the point of good PAS. Her name was Donna, and we became really good friends and worked a lot of runs together until I moved out here to MN.

Oh yeah, after we dopped her at Upstate, this doc walks up to me in the ER and sticks out his hand. "You're Hans E*****, aren't you?" I replied that I was. He said, "Good job with the abdomen injury....You don't remember me, so you?" I told him no, I didn't. He says, "I'm Kurt K*****. You were my Sunday School teacher when I was in 6th grade." I came back with something really bright, like, "You're a doctor now?" (Duh!:huh:) Yeah, he is.

Run safe!
Hans
 
Ridiculous Call

Of course this call out a 4:00 am, we were dispatched, with fire department, on a chest pain. Well, the patient was waiting at the curb, with suitcase packed ready to go. I canceled fire, put him in the bus, and started my asessment. Turns out his chest pain started in his foot (no I am not making this up) and radiated to his chest. I guess this was a case of Cardio-pedal ischemia. Be safe, be strong.:wacko:
 
A few years ago we had a minor 2 vehicle MVA on a major highway going into the city. I walked up the burm to a female sitting in a vehicle in the driver side, I was on the passenger side. I stuck my head in the passenger side window an began to ask "Maam, are you..." only to be distracted by the LIFESIZE kermit the frog doll sitting in the passenger seat, SEATBELTED with full lap and shoulder belt...yes...... so I asked kermit if he was okay ...I got a dirty look from the driver who was busy rummaging through the mound of papers in the glovebox for her insurance information..needless to say they both refused EMS...years later the trooper and I still laugh about that when we see eachother!
 
Back in July I ran a call for a 19yo female complaining of non traumatic sever back pain. Dispatch said the caller was located somewhere on a trail in our Box Coverage. So we tried to get them to call back but there was no answer. So we start back with our Polaris bringing up the rear. We walk about a half mile and pass a man walking to other way who also was the caller. He walked farther back with us for about another 1/4 mile or so until we came upon two females. One bent over at the waist complaining of sever back pain. So we get her in the front seat of the Polaris and take her out. Supposedly the whole way she was whining and moaning that her back was killing her. When we walk out they are loading her in the back of the medic (some of the FFs were EMTs as well) and she has her hands clamped down on her ears and eyes shut. We start laughing not knowing that it's about to get better. When we get in the back of the medic we are starting to set up for patient assessment. Our attendant an EMT-P and our EMS 1st LT climbs in the back and closes one of the doors and all the sudden the pt screams and starts saying please dont close the doors because she is claustrophobic. So he closes the other door with that "Oh really" look on his face and we all smile and laugh on the inside. Suffice to say she refused and went in a POV. We had a good laugh about that one and it got us out of the training, Tanker Ops, going on back at the station.
 
70ish y/o female, complaining that she was experiencing labor pains because another female (of child bearing age) was pregnant in her building and was in labor. Yes there was a pregnant lady in the building but only about 6 months and not in labor.. <_<
 
Im going to tell this story of a phone call a friend of mine received at the fire dept. he is employed at.

FF- Fire Department Dave Speaking
Caller- I live at 111 11th St. and have something I think you need to know.
FF- Yes mam what is that.
Caller- I just thought you should be aware that I just dismantled a nuclear weapon in my basement.
FF- Excuse me?
Caller- I JUST DISMANTLED A NUCLEAR WEAPON IN MY BASEMENT! I thought you should be aware of this.
FF- What does it look like?
CLICK

I turned out to be one of the local crazies and nothing came of it but thought it was extremely funny!
 
This is by far not the most crazy call I have ever been on... But really funny.

We ran on a 30 something female at about 22:00... We initially got called non emergent to stage in the area because she was possibly armed... Well... another call dropped about 2 miles from our call and the police officer that was responding diverted to that call (who can blame him... that call was a T-bone accident with 5-6 pts) We went ahead and stepped it up to emergent and when my partner and I got there we found a 30 something female laying spread eagle buck naked on her bed. DRUNK AS A SKUNK! I know thats not too funny but get this... 2 MONTHS later my partner and I get called to a rollover in front of a fire station... The area has a very slow speed limit and the whole time we are responding we cant figure out how you roll your car at that intersection... We get there sure enough there is a car on its side and a 30 something buck naked female sitting beside the car. It took all we could do not to bust up laughing... We couldnt hold it in when the FF came up to us (one of the same ones on the last call) and said "I think its our spread eagle lady.... I guess they released her from the mental hospital early" The best part was he had a very straight face and was not trying to be funny at all!
 
We just had this call this morning around 1100.

"Squad 7, you have a run to such and such address in reference to a gentleman complaining of the shakes and needing beer".

The dispatcher could hardly keep from laughing. Turns out it was a frequent flyer who is a major alcoholic and was going through withdrawl because he hadn't had a beer since late last night!
 
Here's one from a few weeks ago. We were responding to a local nursing home for a psych eval with PD en route. We arrive and find the patient strapped into a wheel chair and that the home had never actually called the police because they didn't want to involve the legal system. They said they had already loaded her up with haldol and ativan but weren't allowed to technically restrain the patient so they got creative with the belt to stop her from getting out of the chair. I'm sitting there at the nurses station getting the paperwork and this little 84 year old lady is like "IM GOING TO KILL A :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:!" over and over again :ph34r:. The nurse gets out a bag of "evidence" as she called it. In it is the multiple signs she'd pulled off the walls, a pill crusher she'd stolen and threatened to bludgeon a nurse to death with it, and a large shiv she'd fashioned from one of the broken signs. While the nurse is showing us this, the patient slips under the restraint and tries hanging herself on the lap belt. About thirty seconds go by and my partner walks over and is like "yeah, I guess we should stop her..." We undo the lap belt and try to walk her over to the stretcher and she's like "I need to go get something from my room." We gave her the two options: You sit down there or WE sit you down there. We then wrapped her tightly in a sheet and tightened the belts over her in an attempt to stop her hands from getting loose in the back of the ambulance. We're almost to the hospital and she managed to get a hand free and went right for the trauma sheers on my belt. I stop her and we get to the hospital and she has a complete 180 and is acting all sweetly toward everyone in the ER. :glare:
 
I just heard this one on the radio.. made me and everyone (including dispatch and responding unit) laugh.

Dispatch: Units responding, be advised I have downgraded the call. Patient states he can't find his pulse and thinks he's dead. He said he'll be waiting for you at the door.
Unit: (laughing) 10-4 dispatch.. ahh I love these calls.
 
I just heard this one on the radio.. made me and everyone (including dispatch and responding unit) laugh.

Dispatch: Units responding, be advised I have downgraded the call. Patient states he can't find his pulse and thinks he's dead. He said he'll be waiting for you at the door.
Unit: (laughing) 10-4 dispatch.. ahh I love these calls.

Turned out to be atrial flutter.
 
I just heard this one on the radio.. made me and everyone (including dispatch and responding unit) laugh.

Dispatch: Units responding, be advised I have downgraded the call. Patient states he can't find his pulse and thinks he's dead. He said he'll be waiting for you at the door.
Unit: (laughing) 10-4 dispatch.. ahh I love these calls.

Tell him to find it with his thumb, and press real hard! He will find some kind of pulse then!

How did he discover it missing? Did he just randomly decide to check it?

I love the laypersons who go to check their pulse and are palpating around on the ulnar side of their wrist or just randomly slap two fingers on their neck and freak.
 
Tell him to find it with his thumb, and press real hard! He will find some kind of pulse then!

How did he discover it missing? Did he just randomly decide to check it?

I love the laypersons who go to check their pulse and are palpating around on the ulnar side of their wrist or just randomly slap two fingers on their neck and freak.

Lol! Not exactly to sure what caused him to check.. maybe because he was feeling faint and (I think) he had a hx of cardiac problems.

And yes I love watching the layperson try to find a pulse..
side story: a person went down, brief syncopal episode.. so a volunteer first aid attendant tries to find the pulse, the pt is awake and talking, a RN comes over and starts talking to the pt. The first aid attendant comes over and starts freaking out because they can't find a radial pulse, like full blown freaking out about to call for an ambo. The nurse looks over at the first aider and said "the patient is up and talking.. I think thats a good sign"

Haha... ;)
 
Was called out for a seizure patient at an M.D. office (bad feeling #1).
When we got there, patient was on the floor seizuring (this is what the nurse called it, bad feeling #2). I.V. with catheter was hanging from hook(bad feeling #3). When asked, the nurse replied that they pulled the I.V. when the patient started "seizuring", so they wouldn't have an embolism. HUH?:wacko:
On the despite their best efforts the patient survived side, they had the patient on 4lpm of O2, via simple mask.
On the bad side, I ignored that little voice in my head that was saying "SHUT UP", and I asked the nurse if she ate an extra bowl of stupid for breakfast.
On the bright side, some O's, Some fluid, little valium, patient did fine.
 
My favourite was a call for a "Public Service" which consisted of a 70yr old woman who weighed about 500lbs fell off the toilet and pinned herself between the toilet and the bath tub in front of her. We show up and there she is, legs wrapped around the toilet and the side of her face against the bath tub. Of course she did not get a chance to clean-up and was wearing only a moo-moo (apparently a hot commodity in the 400+lbs range). I was lucky, since the bathroom was very narrow, I was told to stand outside. They rolled her on to a towel and started dragging her to the door. We had to take the door off of the hinges. Once she reached the threshold between the carpet and tile, the towel completely shred in half. We went and got a salvage cover from the engine (the hallway runner) and rolled her on to that. the 4 of us then dragged her in to her bedroom and had to of course lift her in to bed.

We head back to the station and were sitting in the kitchen eating when we get toned out for a "public service". Well the lady was not feeling comfortable and tried to adjust herself in bed and fell out. We show up, put on our gloves and grabbed the salvage cover again. We hoist her back in to bed (further in to the middle of the poor king sized bed) and leave. Oh, best part of this whole thing is that she was not vomiting her lunch, which consisted of popcorn.

We head back to the station again and were settling in for the evening when we get toned out for another public service...same house same person same problem. Once again rolled out of bed. This time I grabbed the reeves, a little easier to lift than a salvage cover since it has something to grip on to. We toss her back in to bed and clear the scene.

As we were getting in to bed we get toned out for another public service. Lady had to go to the bathroom and wanted us to help her. We called a medic this time because obviously there are some issues going on. She refused to go to the hospital to get checked out (she was in pain whenever we moved her). She also was laying in bed telling her husband (70yrs 140lbs wet) that something was on her face. He swatted her hand away from her face so it was no longer touching and all was good.

Turns out dude forgot to give her her insulin (obviously diabetic issues were suspected). We wrote the address up on the white board to give the guys a heads up about the situation in case they get toned out again. 15 minutes past shift change, they get toned out for a sickness...same house, same lady. She of course was in worse physical shape (hygiene wise) so the ambulance crew was in for an unpleasant morning.
 
Invention of the "Swanee Governor".

"Big Swanee" (aka "Swanson") was actually very big, down to earth, and pretty smart, good driver, so perfect rescue truck material..except he didn't wanna.
We wanted him bad, though, so we took him out to or local wrecked F-100 fighter plane and ruined the Jaws of Life's shears letting him do some damage to it, when we get a call across base of a child not breathing.
So we pile in, Swanee's behind me in the jump seat and I'm code three in this meadow, trying to bounce out to the road...when these two big hands settle around my throat and tighten down a little. I slow down, the bouncing reduces, the grip loosens a little. A little experimentation showed that the "Swanee governor" was set to about the equivalent of a Richter Scale 6.5(about twenty mph) in the rough field we soon left. He never rode with us again. I think his head left dents in that Powerwagon's ceiling.
 
Patients can say the greatest things!!

I just heard this one on the radio.. made me and everyone (including dispatch and responding unit) laugh.

Dispatch: Units responding, be advised I have downgraded the call. Patient states he can't find his pulse and thinks he's dead. He said he'll be waiting for you at the door.
Unit: (laughing) 10-4 dispatch.. ahh I love these calls.

BLESS HIS HEART!!! Airwaygoddess is laughing so hard that her ribs hurt!! ^_^:P^_^
 
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