What is your most ridiculous call?

the most rediculous call I got was for a "unknown medical problem", when we got their the chick had her suitcare and a couple bags of extra clothes ready. When asked what was wrong, she relplied, " my dad is just giving me a hard time". She also requested going to a facility that was about 50 miles away, needless to say she didn't get to go their. I failed the mention that she was 46.
 
MJordan2121 said:
Received a call, 86 y/o F with constipation. Arrived on scene, pt stated she did not want to go to the ER, but instead just needed a ride to the drug store to pick up some stool softeners...
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Did you transport her to the drug store?
 
Tonight, 37y/o male with non traumatic back pain. Pt's wife called because it was keeping her up listening to him complain. Good call lady! Now your keeping me up.
 
We had a 32 y/o female complaining of abnormal vaginal bleeding. When we arrivied she is stumbling around. She slurs to us "I went to go pee and my :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: is bleeding". Of course my then capt just had to ask if she had had anything to drink today. Her response "only a pint of vodka". okkay next question ma'am when was your last menstrual cycle. She sits there for a minute and goes oh...... yeah we got called for a woman who just got her period and was too drunk to realize it. Oh the joys of ems
 
26 year old male. chief complaint: menstral cramps. call came in when i was in clinicals.
 
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Got to an intersection within about 2 minutes of an accident. Front end of Car #1 is touching bumper of Car #2, no evidence of major damage. Out of Car #2 comes this WAILING: "My neck is broke! My neck is BROKE!!!" The yelling gets louder and I look into the back seat to see where its coming from. A woman has her two hands wrapped around her neck, rocking back and forth and screaming in pain.

"You can stop now." I said, loud.

She immediately stopped her yelling and rocking but kept her hands wrapped around her neck, head down. "What do you mean I can stop? Can't you see I'm hurt?" She said, angrily, "You in trouble!!"

"What did you just buy at the store?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" She looked up at me, forgetting her pain.

I just pointed to an open, unwrapped carton of 18 eggs sitting on the seat beside her, not one even out of alignment, then went on to check the other car.
 
poppawilly said:
26 year old male. chief complaint: menstral cramps. call came in when i was in clinicals.
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Don't laugh it is possible, you guys over in the states have the honour of having one of the few MALE patients carry to full term (I know, he was not born that way) but still, it does happen occassionally. Heard a story a few years ago from a friend that told me about a male that would come in once a month with mood swings and stomach cramps, on a regular cycle that lasts for a few days and off they go for another month. An ultrasound found a uterus, but nothing else. But then again, it probably is a joke and I was a gullible noob back then.

But then again, I once attended the doctors after spending 24 hrs+ with abdo cramps, found out it was "wind" and the doc's advice (his words): "lay down, rest, let out the big ripper that is coming and run to the toilet. That should sort it out."

Some of my most ridiculous calls usually involve psych pts. God help the idiot that thought that a mental health first aid course would be beneficial (me!), so I cop them sometimes. The pts in a psychosis usually present as the most interesting, especially when the voices tell them to do stuff....

Just once, I want to play out that scene from "Bringing out the Dead":

Tom: Why don't we here it from the Looney Tunes himself? Did you try and top yourself?

Pt: Yes.

Tom: Why didn't you say so!

a bit of time passes....

Frank: Excuse me, this has got to be the most pathetic suicide attempt I have ever seen. Feel here? Feel the pulse? That is where you cut. And you go up, not across. Here take my knife and do it!

Pt: I can't.

Frank: What?

Pt: I can't.

Frank: Of all the people in this city who ever only wanted to live and were viciously murdered, you have the nerve to sit here, wanting to die and not have the guts to through with it! You make me sick!

Tom (laughing as the patient runs out of the back of the truck): We cured him!

Or the call, "you are going to the female who is being held hostage by her cat" (from Bringing out the dead)

Or you can never forget the "Polish" hostage from SWAT ("its the damn robot aliens)

We could probably write a book about it.
 
Called out to possible man down a hole

huge hanger for E-4 (747) aircraft, has a three story deep fifty by fifty foot well next to it to receive AFFF runoff if the deluge system goes off inside due to fire. The well has about three feet of rainwater in it. One warm April night, Security hears what sort of sound to him like someone gargling/screaming like they were drowning in the pit, couldn't see anything and probably too chicken to go down alone, so called us.
We arrive...sound way too loud for a human, we approached with our big ole lanterns...the pit is writhing with frogs and toads who were wandering around looking for water to mate in and wound up down there, trying to climb out on each other...horrible noise!
 
It really wasn't a call but... I was working at a local county fair when a frantic farmer walks in and asks if we have any epinephrine. The other two people that are working with me turn around and ask what happened and where was the emergency. The farmer proceeds to tell us that his sheep is going into anaphylaxis and "I really hate to lose her". We are really just a band-aid station with a few medical supplies but we happen to have one Epi-pen. We offered it to the farmer in hopes that he would be able to save his sheep. He thanked us profusely and left.
So, later that day he came back with the Epi-pen and said the Vet beat him back and was able to save her. He told us that for the 150lb sheep he would have needed THREE Epi-pens to treat her. He thanked us again and said how kind we were for doing that.
Just another day in rural EMS.
 
The worst for me was when we were dispatched to a patient who was c/o a severe sore throat.

O/a, he advised us that he has a Tonsillectomy just the day before.

I wouldn't have minded the transfer, but at 3am and 6 MVA's later. :wacko:
 
i had a guy call the ambulance at 3:30am because he was unable to get his man hood to work. he felt that he might be unable to function again
 
Maybe not ridiculous, but dumb.

I've only been doing this for less than a year, but this is one of my best(so far).

I was still riding 3rd party trainee when we respond to a local nursing home for a CPR in progress. As you can imagine, we flew thru town and made it in record time. On scene, we burst thru the door and head down the hall to find the 70 y/o male Pt. lying right in front of the nurse’s station, nobody with him. Not a CPR. And to top it all, nobody knows what happened. (Or mebby they were too embarrassed to say) The only explanation I have is that somehow he somehow made it out of his room, down the hall and passed out for some reason or other. A nurse or aid saw him crash, picked up the phone, dialed 911, said CPR in progress at PTNH, and slammed the phone down. :glare: Why she left him laying there after she found he was still breathing, I'll never know..... I'll also never know why they didn't call back and tell dispatch to tell us to cancel code. :wacko:
 
Had a transfer for a 42 y/o male complaining of priapism x 18 hours. Woke up a 2 in the morning with an erection, and when we picked him up at 8 pm, he was still goin'. During my assessment, I asked him to describe the pain. He said, "Throbbing. Every time my heart beats". He had a PR of 92 strong and regular. We had a 3 hour transport time. We waited with him at the hospital until 2 am. 24 hours later, and still erect. The Dr. said she had drained a liter out of it (wince) and it still wouldn't go down. Pt denies use of ED medications. BP was around 210/100.
 
Boil 26-A-1

The most ridiculous call i ever had was a 19 y/o male sick 26-a-1 at a local college around 0400
Ok were thinking either they don't have transport to a doctor or they have a test coming up... as im reading the report from dispatch i see a c/c of BOIL!!

We get there and the pt is walking over to the ambulance crying he looks at me and says "i have a boil in my butt and on my privates"
So i have him jump in the ambulance and once my partner closes the doors he drops his pants and spreads his cheeks! I was speechless!! i told him to lay however he could on the cot and had my male partner tech the call! i couldn't keep a straight face when looking at him!
When we got to the ER the PA asked "whats the chief complaint?" i pointed at the PCR and we just looked at each other blankly then she rolled a wheelchair my way and pointed toward the waiting room!
He went to shake my hand as i was leaving so i faked a sneeze and said good bye lol i didn't know what to say but good luck lol i felt so bad
 
firetender said:
Got to an intersection within about 2 minutes of an accident. Front end of Car #1 is touching bumper of Car #2, no evidence of major damage. Out of Car #2 comes this WAILING: "My neck is broke! My neck is BROKE!!!" The yelling gets louder and I look into the back seat to see where its coming from. A woman has her two hands wrapped around her neck, rocking back and forth and screaming in pain.

"You can stop now." I said, loud.

She immediately stopped her yelling and rocking but kept her hands wrapped around her neck, head down. "What do you mean I can stop? Can't you see I'm hurt?" She said, angrily, "You in trouble!!"

"What did you just buy at the store?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" She looked up at me, forgetting her pain.

I just pointed to an open, unwrapped carton of 18 eggs sitting on the seat beside her, not one even out of alignment, then went on to check the other car.
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Got one similar, except I was a victim.

I was driving home from school one day, going through a green light, when this woman decides to try to turn across the intersection from the opposite side of the street, thinking she can beat me through the light.

She doesn't, and I slam into her right rear quarterpanel.

I repeatedly ask her for her d/l and insurance, but she kept stalling. I later discover that she was neither licensed or insured.

She was walking around the whole time, in full view of multiple people, simply complaining of bumping her funny bone. She even borrowed a neighbor's phone and made a couple of phone calls.

One of the neighbors called 911, and when the fire department showed up, she calmly walked back into her car, buckled her seat belt, and started complaining that she couldn't feel her legs.

A couple minutes later, a pickup truck shows up and two men get out, apparently her relatives, and begin to yell and threaten me. A fireman walks over and tells them to back off. I then ask the fireman if she's going to be alright, and he says, "Oh, yeah, she's fine."

A police officer shows up and takes my statement, and declares that it wasn't my fault since I had the green light. Unfortunately, all he could do was write the woman a ticket.

When I gave my statement to the insurance company, I find that the woman told them complete BS, and I had the police report to back me up.
 
Beathing

We were dispatched for dif breathing, ALS also sent. We get there the Pt is on O2 by leo. Long and short, he has a sore throat, and it hurts to take deep breaths, he hasn't taken anything but our time. We cancel ALS and ask if he has a PCP,, no but my wife, the nurse wants me to take care of this. She works at @*&#* Hosp, can we bring him. The T-nurse wasn't to happy when we brought him in, arms folded behind his head. King of the world, Oh the wife was busy with the kids, so she couldn't take him......
 
had a few good ones, being in control lets you take in all the quality calls that come through :P

1) man with a drinking straw stuck in his penis...just don't ask

2) man who had inserted candle into anus which had then broken off.

3) paramedic responding to a cardiac arrest that turned out to be a dead goldfish

4) various callers phoning for an ambulance because they 'have run out of money on a night out and can't get home so they need a lift'

heh
 
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