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How does CPR work on a decapitation?
Funny one liners you've said to overheard to a patient
- Thread starter jordanfstop
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How does CPR work on a decapitation?
In my area, if it is an obvious accepted sign of death we don't have to work them, really what's the point.
attnondeck
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Ice cold and stiff as a board and theyhave to wait for an als unit to come and say .". Yup dead, see ya later". ? That sounds like a tie up of resourses.....
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So I will edit my statement. As an Intermediate in my county I can't pronounce, our code 50 charts require an attached ECG strip which is out of my scope within our county. With that said, every unit is I/P or P/P here.
In the rest of the state minus the urban areas Intermediates can write code 50 charts.
In the rest of the state minus the urban areas Intermediates can write code 50 charts.
McGoo
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Elderly patient: "you look just like my friend."
Me: "He's a lucky devil."
Me: "He's a lucky devil."
I'm not an EMT, at least not yet, but have a story from when I did a ride-along with a medic as part of one of my classes that I thought I'd share.
We were dispatched to an MVA on one of the rural highways with caller stating it was a semitruck on top of a small car. We rush out code 3 find out it was a t-bone - the semi pulled out from a side street in front of the car(65mph) and then rolled over what was left of the hood. Ugly crash.
Fire opened up the car for us and only patient is the 20yo F driver of the car, truck driver wasn't hurt. She was unresponsive when we arrived, quickly had her packed up on the backboard and collared and were code 3 enroute to the nearest level II(~20min drive). She was in and out of consciousness throughout the trip but able to answer questions at times though most answers were either "I don't know" or made absolutely no sense, but she became increasingly coherent during the ride and even started to joke around a little bit.
This exchange happened as we were pulling in the trauma bay about to unload when she started kind of rocking her foot back and forth:
Medic: "What's wrong with your leg? Does it hurt?"
Px: "No I just have to pee"
Medic: *chuckles* "I'm sorry I'm not sure when you'll get a chance to do that"
Px: "You know sir?"
Medic: "Yes?"
*long, dramatic pause until the medic stops what he's doing and makes eye contact*
Px: "....it would really ruin my day if I peed myself"
I don't know if it's one of those "you had to be there" things but it gave us all a good laugh. We were glad to find out on followup later on that day that her injuries weren't too serious and that her day apparently wasn't ruined afterall
We were dispatched to an MVA on one of the rural highways with caller stating it was a semitruck on top of a small car. We rush out code 3 find out it was a t-bone - the semi pulled out from a side street in front of the car(65mph) and then rolled over what was left of the hood. Ugly crash.
Fire opened up the car for us and only patient is the 20yo F driver of the car, truck driver wasn't hurt. She was unresponsive when we arrived, quickly had her packed up on the backboard and collared and were code 3 enroute to the nearest level II(~20min drive). She was in and out of consciousness throughout the trip but able to answer questions at times though most answers were either "I don't know" or made absolutely no sense, but she became increasingly coherent during the ride and even started to joke around a little bit.
This exchange happened as we were pulling in the trauma bay about to unload when she started kind of rocking her foot back and forth:
Medic: "What's wrong with your leg? Does it hurt?"
Px: "No I just have to pee"
Medic: *chuckles* "I'm sorry I'm not sure when you'll get a chance to do that"
Px: "You know sir?"
Medic: "Yes?"
*long, dramatic pause until the medic stops what he's doing and makes eye contact*
Px: "....it would really ruin my day if I peed myself"
I don't know if it's one of those "you had to be there" things but it gave us all a good laugh. We were glad to find out on followup later on that day that her injuries weren't too serious and that her day apparently wasn't ruined afterall
Martyn
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Niccigsu
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From what I've learned in my AEMT class is around here, the coroner is the only one that can pronounce in the field.
DV_EMT
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yeah.... and coming from a telemetry technician...... its a pain in the @ss all the time when those buggers come off... especially waking the patients up at night, uber annoying getting yelled at..
not to mention that patients aren't usually reconnected on the floors by the RN untill 30-45 minutes later... god know what happened during that time
JPINFV
Gadfly
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/If you don't get the reference, then you need to stay off my friggin lawn you whippersnappers.
northernnhmedic
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When I was working in NYC, I tried buffing a jumper down, but got beat there by another unit. Turns out the guy was running from the cops and jumping from roof to roof, missed the last gap, and landed on the ground on his feet. As the other crew is loading him in the bus, I see him on the stretcher writhing and complaning about the pain in his ankles, so I say "Bet you wont do that again..." and walk off.
AmeriMedic21
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"What happened?" x8 - Pt w/ Head injury & Retrograde Amnesia
"you jumped off a skyscraper and landed on your head." Me
lol, long story short, this pt kept asking me what happened time after time, after i got sick of telling him he hit the back of his head, i got creative. He still continued to ask the same question again, and... again. lol
"you jumped off a skyscraper and landed on your head." Me
lol, long story short, this pt kept asking me what happened time after time, after i got sick of telling him he hit the back of his head, i got creative. He still continued to ask the same question again, and... again. lol
Martyn
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:rofl::rofl: OK, now that was just TOO funny
KyleG
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This is from my class, not as funny as a real life one but kinda good.
So were running Sim's and me and my partner walk in, he starts to assess and is just screwing it up.
I go to interview the "boyfreind" of a female patient who is "altered"
Here is the convo (also the pretend boyfreinds is a good friend of mine)
Me: So she is having abdominal pain
BF:Yup
Meid she tell you anything she felt
BF: She just felt the pain
Me:Any Allergies
BF: Reason
We all started laughing so hard, I almost couldn't finish the Sim.
So were running Sim's and me and my partner walk in, he starts to assess and is just screwing it up.
I go to interview the "boyfreind" of a female patient who is "altered"
Here is the convo (also the pretend boyfreinds is a good friend of mine)
Me: So she is having abdominal pain
BF:Yup
Me
id she tell you anything she felt BF: She just felt the pain
Me:Any Allergies
BF: Reason
We all started laughing so hard, I almost couldn't finish the Sim.
Lt.Col.Warren
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I had funny one in class too. We were running trauma scenerios. The scenerio was that we responded to a MVA with a Semi v a sedan. Our pt was the passenger and the driver was DOA with the semi on him. As we start treating our pt, our instructor (who is acting as the voice of the pt) says, "What about my husband!? Who is helping my husband." I replied, "Ma'am, just stay calm, our truck is here for you and we have a whole nother truck on your husband." Insructor just gave me this look and disbelief and then we all started laughing.
Martyn
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Whilst transporting a Baker Act pt who wanted to get up from the stretcher to have a smoke, he asked why he couldn't light one up. I said to him 'Sorry but my hands are tied', I looked up from the paperwork, realised he still had soft restraints on his wrists and said to him 'Oh, so are yours' :blink: