Funny one liners you've said to overheard to a patient

Milford34

Forum Probie
10
0
1
at the scene of a possible seizure.
PT stated he felt like he was going to throw up. So we gave him a small bucket
After 15 minutes of him sitting and hugging the bucket
Park Cop
"So are you going to throw up soon or do you just REALLY like that bucket"
 

j2021

Forum Ride Along
2
0
1
I encountered an elderly woman, in nursing home, on hospice. We were visiting the residents. It was a weekly thing.
She told a hilarious joke to everyone. I couldn't help it, and bursted out laughing. I said, "I'm dying laughing". And the woman gave an unexplainable look to us, and wheeled away to her room.
 

Phillyrube

Forum Crew Member
67
15
8
Ive gotten laughs from the other cops and firefighters on the scene when I ask a house full of people if all 5 cars in the driveway are broken, responding to a guy who called for 4 day old knee pain.
 

Martyn

Forum Asst. Chief
584
39
28
Had an incident the other day, employee came to my office and advised he had some of the CLR cleaning fluid splash in his left eye. I instructed him how to flush his eye with an eye bath and saline. After the second treatment he looked at the bottle next to him and asked what it was. As I picked the bottle up I put on a horrified expression and exclaimed 'OH F***!', he jumped off my examination table with a look of abject horror. 'What is it? What have you put in my eye?'. I turned the bottle over and calmly said 'Oh this...it's only saline'. His supervisor cracked up laughing and the employee took it real well and said, 'OK, you got me REAL good on that one, but you did get me worried'. He was still laughing about it the next day when I did a follow up exam.
 

Martyn

Forum Asst. Chief
584
39
28
listening to breath sounds on 16 yo F c/o sob.

me: ok gonna listen to your lungs i need you to take as deep a breath as you can. ( she inhales )

16 y/o F : that makes my boobs look bigger

me: bright red and speechless.
Reminds me of a joke...16 y/o F with a lisp, doctor listens to her chest and says, 'Big Breaths' and she turns round and says 'Yeth, and I'm only sixthteen'.
 
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