when asking about last oral intake...
her:i had a burger about an hour ago..
mewith a serious face on) was it delicious?
Not had a decent warm meal in a while, had you?
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when asking about last oral intake...
her:i had a burger about an hour ago..
mewith a serious face on) was it delicious?
so this is a little twist, heard this story a few weeks ago they went out for a drugie they get all the time and they had a medic student on the truck doing ride time and let her do the line in the guy and she missed an fished for a bit and the drugie finnaly goes, "are you serious right now that thing is huge do you want me to do it" lol
ok heard this story last night and almost died laughing... truck gets toned out for chest pains to a guy who has had a history of heart issues amongst other things (one of our regulars) they get him in the truck put him on the monitor and his sinus, and the medic turns to him and goes now Im not a doctor but i did stay at a holiday in express last night and you sir are not having a heart attack! lol thought I would share haha
Our stretchers drop a little when coming out of the back of the rig. About three or four inches. Which feels more like a foot and a half when you are the one strapped to the thing and don't know it's coming.
So I usually warn folks with a little humor. "Ok, hon, a couple bumps coming out of this thing, and a little drop. But don't worry, I haven't dropped anyone yet. Well, any that have complained, anyway."
It gets a laugh, gets them ready, and lets them relax a bit.
About the funniest thing I've seen recently, though, is a team come into the hospital right behind us. The ER was busy, and we were all waiting for beds, and the nurse was going down the line asking
Nurse: "Which ones were you again?"
Me: "We have the lateral dislocation on the left knee."
Nurse: "Ouch, ok, we'll get the bed in a minute. How about you guys?"
EMT: "We have the SOB."
Patient: "Excuse me!?"
EMT: "What?"
Patient: "What the f*** did you just call me!?"
EMT: "I didn't call you anything, Sir. I was just..."
Patient: "What, you don't think I heard you!?"
Nurse: "Sir, Sir! Calm down. What our young friend here MEANT to say was "Shortness of Breath," or SOB in hospital speak. He wasn't calling you any names, he just wasn't thinking."
Patient: "Right... Ok, I guess. Son, you might want to watch that s***, or someone is going to come off this bed and smack you."
Me and my partner were laughing, and so was our patient, who winced every time he did so but couldn't stop if he wanted to. Unintended, but still a great moment.
OMG!!! That is like the funniest thing I have ever heard when it comes to someone having a wreck. Kudos to that one, definitely!Don't know if this really qualifies since it was after the fact but here it is:
My first call ever and it was during my clinicals for my EMT-B in VA. It was an MVC at about 1000 on a beautiful spring morning. An elderly couple rearended someone, claiming they never saw him. Our patient was the passenger a 74 yr old female. She was complaining of chest pain, but it didnt feel like an MI which she had had in the past. The chest pain was caused by the seatbelt. Here is the discourse of finding out what the pain felt like.
Medic(Attendent): What does the pain feel like?
Pt: Well it feels like what it feels like when you guys get hit in the balls.
M: Excuse me m'am.
Pt: Ya know that intense pain you guys get when your hit in the nuts.
M: Huh?
Pt: Ya know those things that hang between your legs.
M: Yes I know those.
Pt: Well thats the feeling a woman gets when she gets hit in the breasts.
(She had the seatbelt across her chest across one of her breasts.)
So we proceeded to attach a 12-Lead just to make sure all was ok.
Pt: What are ya trying to do feel me up or something?
M: Just laughs a little.
As were clearing the ER the medic makes a little side comment to the "feeling up" comment.
M: Oh yeah m'am your banana tits just really get me off.
Ensuing laughs from everyone.
if you can yell at me, you can breathe
Only if they can't do it in full sentences.I really hate this phrase, because it's incredibly false.
I walked up on a scene of car accident with two Good Samaritans (a man doing compressions and a woman using a pocket mask to ventilate) doing CPR on a guy who was obviously dead from the trauma to his head.
Me: "Would you please be so kind as to stop flogging that corpse?"
Man: "What do you mean? He doesn't have a pulse. If we stop, he dies!"
Me: "Trust me, when HE stopped is when he died."
Woman: "How can you be so sure?"
Me: "Every time you give him a breath, more of it comes out his ears than goes into his lungs. Also...."
Woman: "That just means I need to reposition his head."
Me: "It's not polite to interrupt someone when they are speaking. As I was saying, another good sign is the fact that you have his brains all over your hands."
That got them to stop.