Dispatchers Say the Darndest Things...

jamiga

Forum Probie
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Two ambulances leaving the scene for a lift assist.

Unit A to Unit B: "Unit B, be advised, your back door is open"

Unit B to Unit A: "Why you lookin' at my back door pervert?"


Yeah... wow.
 

JJR512

Forum Deputy Chief
1,336
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I unfortunately wasn't there for this one, but it's kinda funny anyways.

Dispatch: Rescue 1, respond to the Xth floor of Dorm X for a student who has been executed

(long pause)

Rescue 1: Rescue 1 responding to Dorm X for student who has been executed.

Dispatch: I MEANT ELECTROCUTED!!! :censored: :censored:

Executed or electrocuted, either way, the person is dead, so why bother responding?

(Not sure what I mean? Look up "electrocute" in any dictionary!)
 

fma08

Forum Asst. Chief
833
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEsaI-cS-kI&feature=related

Not really the dispatcher saying something funny, just that they have to put up with all kinds of different B.S.


A recent one I just heard:

Central: Central to ambulance
Ambulance: Go ahead central
Central: Can you send a unit to 123 Main St., we need an eval for an officer, 123 Main St. .......... and it is an officer requesting an eval not an eval for an officer......
 

JessEMT983

Forum Ride Along
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Lol, FF/EMT Sam, what part of VA are you in? Some of those dispatcher tales sound like our dispatchers:p. I do have to give them credit though, I don't know that I could do it.
 

TheAfterAffect

Forum Lieutenant
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gnh2276

Forum Crew Member
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Dispatchers

Do any of you have a problem with dispatchers not knowing where to send you but not only that they refuse to admit they dont know
 

EMTCop86

Forum Captain
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this isn't from a dispatcher but from a cop. i posted a thread in another forum about crazy things that are said of the radio and this was one of the responses:)

Originally Posted by D.o.D cop
One of my partners responded to a stray dog call one night. Partner arrives on scene and began to chase this four legged fiend in his patrol car, sometimes hopping out to try and coral this dog.

Quick side plot: I once got a rottweiler dog cornered for the unknownth time and attempted to capture it as I was tired of it escaping it's yard and turning it over to the local shelter. The dog constantly cornered folks in an aggressive manner, in their own yards. I call a a "Master K-9" handler out to assist. He pulls taser as he approaches the dog, the dog stands up, raises lip and fur, growling, and approaches this self proclaimed "K-9 Handler". The K-9 officer turns and takes off running. Eventually another Officer arrives on scene, opens his back door and says "Want to go for a ride?". The dog's behavior changes from aggressive to happy and hops right on it. I then tell the handler and partner that if only I knew that all I had to do was ask nicely...

Back to Story: So he chases this dog for a few blocks, and eventually calls in via radio "I cannot capture the 4 legged suspect".
I advise via radio "Open you back door to your patrol car, he might hop in."
Partner: "I don't think he like's the police. He's not obeying my commands."
I couldn't resist: "Did you advise the suspect to quit resisting?"
 

traumateam1

Forum Asst. Chief
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Ever head the call "we have a flopper at the whopper"? I don't remember if I saw it on the internet or something, or if it was an actual call that a unit got.
 

Jeremy89

Forum Captain
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Ever head the call "we have a flopper at the whopper"? I don't remember if I saw it on the internet or something, or if it was an actual call that a unit got.

No, but I heard one today of ALOC at "Kentucky Fried Chicken", with full southern accent... it was pretty funny, especially considering how boring he sounded the few calls before.
 

rjz

Forum Crew Member
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I used to work in a very rural area and would always find joy in telling dispatch I was in the "metro" area of said town when asked for my location.
 

Grady_emt

Forum Captain
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262, respond Code 1, ### New Town Circle, multiple victims assaulted with a can of chili"

Me "radio, we're clear on the call, you advise multiple persons assaulted... with a can of chili?"

Radio "62, that's correct, victim advises that she was assaulted with either a can of chili, or sloppy joe mix she was unsure. Also advises her child was possibly injured by the item. APD has the call, supervision and Fire are also enroute secondary multiple victims"

My size up was "262 radio, we are onscene, we have one adult, one pediatric patient assaulted with a can of Hormel Chili, you can cancel Fire and Supervision, we will be out about 10 minutes getting two refusals.":wacko:

After his 4th attept to key up without lauging, "62, radio copies, canceling all other responding units on a chili assault"



They had the same baby daddy, one threw the can of chili, it hit a brick wall and sprayed chili over the two patients
 

BossyCow

Forum Deputy Chief
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After his 4th attept to key up without lauging, "62, radio copies, canceling all other responding units on a chili assault"


So, I gotta ask.. was the can of chili charged with assault?
 

Airwaygoddess

Forum Deputy Chief
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Hot can?

Must have been a "hot call"! :p^_^:p
 

IrishEMT

Forum Probie
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Ambulance 1: Ambulance 1 to Ambulance 2. What is the status of your unit?
Ambulance 2: Ambulance 2 to Ambulance 1. My unit is back in service.
 

Buzz

Forum Captain
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Got dispatched the other night for a priority 1 respiratory distress with a lights and sirens drive time (lot of freeway driving) of what should have been 30 minutes. Called into dispatch after confirming that it was actually a priority 1 only to be told that yeah, they were aware of our current location when the call came in and that we were the only available unit. Came in the next morning and the morning dispatchers were listening to the recording of us calling into the office and laughing that we actually called in to confirm that we were going that far :glare: Seemed odd to me...
 

traumateam1

Forum Asst. Chief
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Wow! 30 minutes for a Priority 1 Resp. Distress? Jeez... isn't the ideal time for a Code 3 or Priority 1 like 7-12 minutes. I would of hated to be the person barely able to breath having dispatch say it would be 30 minutes...
How was your patient Buzz? Everything work out okay?
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
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Wow! 30 minutes for a Priority 1 Resp. Distress? Jeez... isn't the ideal time for a Code 3 or Priority 1 like 7-12 minutes. I would of hated to be the person barely able to breath having dispatch say it would be 30 minutes...
How was your patient Buzz? Everything work out okay?

It all depends on where you live. There are places here in Florida, out in the sticks, that have a 30 minute response time because they live soooooo far away from everything. What are you going to do, set up a fire station in the boonies for three houses that are spaced miles apart?
Dont be so quick to judge. Your post sounded really condescending.
 

imurphy

Forum Captain
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Not to go too off post, but in Galway, Ireland, response time for AS1 (Top priority, lights and sirens) can be 90 minutes. Just because of how far out in the sticks they are!

As I heard from a comedian before, "Don't complain about ambulance response times if you choose to live so far away from civilisation!" :)
 

Buzz

Forum Captain
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Wow! 30 minutes for a Priority 1 Resp. Distress? Jeez... isn't the ideal time for a Code 3 or Priority 1 like 7-12 minutes. I would of hated to be the person barely able to breath having dispatch say it would be 30 minutes...
How was your patient Buzz? Everything work out okay?

He was alive, but circling the drain when we got there. While I was setting up the nonrebreather, his eyes rolled back into his head and he barely responded to a hard sternal rub. Lost pulse for about 5 seconds and it spontaneously returned. Showed up to the hospital and the doc was in a generally :censored::censored::censored::censored:ty mood. My partner went over to get started on our next patient since they stacked a call on us and I was finishing up the PCR at the nurse's station. I heard the doc say something to one of the nurses along the lines of "I'm tired of all these ambulance crews calling priority 1s in that are really a two." (They just got another priority 1 for pt choking). Doc walks back toward the staff room and a nurse comes walking out of the room of our patient and tells someone at the desk to page respiratory and the doc because the patient was crashing. Didn't get to go back that night and see what the outcome was though.

It all depends on where you live. There are places here in Florida, out in the sticks, that have a 30 minute response time because they live soooooo far away from everything. What are you going to do, set up a fire station in the boonies for three houses that are spaced miles apart?
Dont be so quick to judge. Your post sounded really condescending.

This was in a very populated area in Metro Detroit. Our ETA from the scene to the closest hospital was 5-10 minutes. Before this, our longest response time was about 10-15 minutes and we thought we'd never top that.
 
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