Dispatchers Say the Darndest Things...

JonTullos

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I was at the weekly meeting for the VFD I'm in the process of joining and their EMRs got toned out for a possible heart attack. While I was hanging out in the truck bay with some of the other guys (I couldn't ride because I'm not officially a member until after I'm voted on and plus I'm not a first responder anyway) another department got toned out for a medical assist. The dispatch went something like this: (tones) "Attention Quitman fire department EMRs: Need you to respond to 213 Franklin Street because someone fell out. This is your first page for someone who fell out at 213 Franklin Street." As a former dispatcher, I couldn't believe that someone actually used the term "fell out" on the air for a dispatch. I got a good chuckle out of it and the other guys looked at my funny.

We southerners are weird.
 

Aidey

Forum Deputy Chiefette
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Thats awesome :)

I had never heard the term "fell out" before I went on my internship and a patient told me she "done fell out" and me being totally clueless I asked "Fell out of what?"

My preceptor had quite the laugh at me.
 

emtfarva

Forum Captain
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ok, what does "fell out" mean?
 

emtfarva

Forum Captain
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thanks.........
 

JJR512

Forum Deputy Chief
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Maybe it's the severe lack of sleep getting to me, but at this moment, the last five posts--in particular, the last three--have really had me chuckling, occasionally laughing hysterically, for the last several minutes.
 

Hannah.911

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Yesterday I was on the radio and meant to say 10-4, and ended up telling my unit they were 10-ROUTE. :blush:


My only excuse to the dispatcher that was training me was that it sounded like "en route".

I don't think she bought it. It was just retarded.
 

Epi-do

I see dead people
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After being dispatched for a mental emotional patient:

Dispatch: Medic X, be advised police have been to this location multiple times today. The patient states there are clowns outside her house, trying to steal her car.

Medic X: Clear. We will be on the lookout for clowns.

Dispatch: Medic X, I understand they like to run up to small children and give them hugs. They can be quite scary.
 

emtskibum

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Dispatcher: Unitxxx respond to .... for a domestic, Husband states Wife is acting irrational.
Unit: 10.80, how irrational is the wife?
Dispatcher: how irrational are wifes usually?
Unit:Oh Boy.
Unknown Female Unit: Heeeeeyyy Now!!!!!!!!!
 

benkfd

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Dispatchers!!!!!!!!!! Can work without them...can't shoot em'

I work for a county wide service and we use a modified system status management. Earlier today one of the other trucks gets paged out on a run, we waited a few minutes so they could call enroute and to see if dispatch wanted us to move to cover that side of the county. Within 3-5 minutes of the other truck going enroute dispatch still hadn't told us whether or not to move. My partner commented to me that she wondered if we should move or not. NO MORE THAN 30 SECONDS LATER THE PHONE IN THE QUARTERS RINGS... it was dispatch asking us " Are you headed to the East side of the county yet?"


Is it just me or is there something wrong with this picture!?
LOL
Ben
 

Summit

Critical Crazy
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Dispatcher: Unitxxx respond to .... for a domestic, Husband states Wife is acting irrational.
Unit: 10.80, how irrational is the wife?
Dispatcher: how irrational are wifes usually?
Unit:Oh Boy.
Unknown Female Unit: Heeeeeyyy Now!!!!!!!!!
awesome! LOL
 

Buzz

Forum Captain
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That is "DFO", Done Fell Out!

It means that they fainted.
One of my dispatchers was telling us of the funniest radio report she'd ever overheard at a hospital. Apparently one of the area's more... low-class... fire departments called in to the hospital with a newly delivered baby. The report they gave? "The baby done fell out her snatch!"


I know, it's not a dispatcher saying something funny... but still very funny.
 

brice

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dispatcher's, to say the least have alot going and also i could not even begin to think about doing there job. I have a ton of respect for them.
 

Silverstone

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dispatcher's, to say the least have alot going and also i could not even begin to think about doing there job. I have a ton of respect for them.
You are my new best friend. B)


Here's a couple good ones:

Dispatch: "Adam 37 be advised CPR in progress."
Medic: "Lovely..."

Fire Dispatch: "Engine 3 repeating your address: (bla bla bla) 40 year old female c/o chest pain on Fire 2" (Fire 2 is a radio frequency)
Fire Engine: "Well tell them to put her out!"

Medic: "St Lukes Trauma A-44, Pt report"
St Lukes: "This is Lukes go away"
Medic: "Uhm..."
St Lukes: "I'm sorry I meant go ahead......"

Dispatch: "A-39 you are responding for an elderly female with a sudden gravity attack, this will be a hot response."
Medic: "Co....o....py...." (inbetween chuckles.)

PD Dispatch: "Apparently this domestic is between (girls name) and her baby daddy."
Officer: "Oh joy."
 

lightsandsirens5

Forum Deputy Chief
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Fire Dispatch: "Engine 3 repeating your address: (bla bla bla) 40 year old female c/o chest pain on Fire 2" (Fire 2 is a radio frequency)
Fire Engine: "Well tell them to put her out!"

That is great!

I love being a firefighter/emt! You see, we are the only ones who think of using 150 psi of water when a patient is c/o buring pain!:p
 

fmrpddisp

Forum Probie
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Got a good one for this one... both of what I said as a dispatcher and what the engine said as they cleared!!!

I actually answered 911 for this and dispatched the engine company to this call... A guy called because he was pissing on the side of a building (0300) and managed to zip himself up when he was finished. Straight up "There's Something About Mary" style. Dispatch went something like this:

"Channel 5 EMS Assignment for Engine 1 for a male patient that has zipped himself up..."

When the engine cleared it was:

"Engine 1 available, patient has been extricated."
 

Medic506

Forum Probie
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Downtown we have a Chinese restaurant called The China Boy. One night, a busboy was taking garbage to the alley behind the building and was attacked. The Medic dispatch went something like this...

Dispatcher: Medic 10 from MED-COM 10, 10-39 for an assault in the rear of the China boy.

Medic Employees: O_O!

That's been a few years and was before my time, but every time someone asks for a funny story, EVERYONE tells this one!
 

Onceamedic

Forum Asst. Chief
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on my shift last night...

Dispatcher:1175 - You are enroute to a 30 year old female chief complaint pelvic pain. Please 21 dispatch (call on the cel )

Me: copy dispatch (call 'em on the cel)

on cel phone
Me: Hey - it's Kaisu in 1175 - what's up?
Dispatch: you are going to love this. She says she's got a plastic thingy coming out of her whoo whoo...
Me: No kidding? You want me to call you after the call and tell you what it was?
Dispatch: Noooooooo thanks.

Me to my partner : God I hope she's clean
My partner (male) : I hope she's hot

both together : Yeah right (knowing the odds of either are practically nil)
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
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on my shift last night...

Dispatcher:1175 - You are enroute to a 30 year old female chief complaint pelvic pain. Please 21 dispatch (call on the cel )

Me: copy dispatch (call 'em on the cel)

on cel phone
Me: Hey - it's Kaisu in 1175 - what's up?
Dispatch: you are going to love this. She says she's got a plastic thingy coming out of her whoo whoo...
Me: No kidding? You want me to call you after the call and tell you what it was?
Dispatch: Noooooooo thanks.

Me to my partner : God I hope she's clean
My partner (male) : I hope she's hot

both together : Yeah right (knowing the odds of either are practically nil)

So what was it?
 

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