I cringe a little when I tell people what I do because of the inevitable, "Ohhhh it must take a special person to do that, good onya mate". I used to like saying I'm a paramedic student because I was proud of what I was doing, I still am, but I can't stand hearing things like that, mostly because I can't stand direct compliments (which is odd considering I have a massive ego
) and also, they seem never to hear the word student in "Paramedic Student" and my explaining it almost always leads to a condescending comment about the fact that they are surprised that it requires a degree to be a paramedic..:glare:
Other than that though, I can't stand it because of the meaning people attach to the word "special". Maybe its pedantic semantics (
) but I think the more appropriate word is "different". I chose a paramedic degree because it sounded interesting and I had an interest in medicine, I now enjoy the content of the course, I find the on road work stimulating and the nasty experiences just happen not to bother me as much as it might some others. I would argue that there's nothing too special about that. At the same time though, most people couldn't deal with the things we see (my friends don't even like me to talk about it in front of them) but I just think that makes us different, not special particularly.
In the same sense, I couldn't deal with a desk job, like most of my friends have, but that doesn't make them special.
The way I see it, the bad things have always happened, and probably will always happen, but I'll get to turn up and try and help out and (this is where the ego comes in I suppose) I wholeheartedly believe there are few better people around at that time to help than me. The only job I have not enjoyed was a young girl who committed suicide, and that was because it hit a little close to home. The other jobs, cardiac arrests, victims of child abuse, injured kiddies, crying mothers, wives who've just lost their husband of 50 years, nanna downs, skinned knees, runny knoses...I get to
try and help them, which makes me feel happy and useful more than anything else. but that's not
why I do, that's just the reason why the nasty stuff doesn't bother me.
Mostly the reason why is because I couldn't stand a desk job and I like medicine.
I think it will be interesting to see if/how my attitude changes as I get my hands dirty down down the track :unsure:
"There are days when i cant even roll out of bed in the morning because of the images from my dreams, the flash backs of calls that i have been on and the horror i have seen"
If it gets to you that much..why are you still doing it? I would postulate that the reason people can do it is because it doesn't have that affect on them...at least not to the extent it feels like you're suggesting...maybe have a chat to peer support.
