What is your most ridiculous call?

Code 3, together with fire and PD to a canal for ´´a body found in the water, probably beyond resuscitation´´. There is hardly enough space for all the emergency vehicles stopping in the street as we arrive on scene. As we step out the fire captain points us to something floating lifeless under the water that looks like a human head. Fire goes in and pulls out a female store mannequin, complete with hair and clothes attached. We have the strange feeling that we´ve been pranked.

That is priceless.
 
Dispatch: " Medic 1 please respond to an injury involved pre-existing leg pain, (address) ."

9:30 AM beer in hand, gets up and walks to the ambulance and up to get onto the stretcher. His leg pain has been there for the last 3 weeks and beer is his medicine as we wrote on the report.
 
On my second ride along as an intern, we get tones not five minutes after making it back to the station as my EMT lit a cigarette (authentic EMS experience right there). Dispatch asks us to check for an "unresponsive male, in front of your station."

Sure enough, in the front door archway of our station there was an unresponsive male spooning a bottle of ketchup. Upon walking up to him I was struck by an almost physically tangible wave of malt liquor scent. Upon being roused, he proceeded to stumble off into the darkness in a mostly ambulatory state.

We didn't initiate pursuit.
 
On my second ride along as an intern, we get tones not five minutes after making it back to the station as my EMT lit a cigarette (authentic EMS experience right there). Dispatch asks us to check for an "unresponsive male, in front of your station."

Sure enough, in the front door archway of our station there was an unresponsive male spooning a bottle of ketchup. Upon walking up to him I was struck by an almost physically tangible wave of malt liquor scent. Upon being roused, he proceeded to stumble off into the darkness in a mostly ambulatory state.

We didn't initiate pursuit.
You didn't contact LE? Just let him walk off drunk..?
 
Wasn't up to me. I asked why we didn't do more, and apparently this is uh...common in our city. Too many drunks, not enough resources apparently.

At least this isn't as bad as the trap phone poles I've seen in a certain city in which I once lived. (phone pole in the middle of sidewalk right in front of the window of a gym- naturally while everyone is checking out the body builders while riding by on bicylcles, etc. you end up with alot of meetings between the phone pole and peoples heads.)
 
Got dispatched:
"68 YO M Pt C/C of severe ankle pain. Just released a few hours ago from the ER for a broken ankle."

Im in Fire-based EMS, so Im thinking no big deal, maybe its just a lift assist or maybe he needs help getting into the restroom. When we walk in, he yells "hey! bring me the wallet on the counter when you walk over here!" No one can locate the wallet so he sends us on a easter egg hunt for it throughout his house. I l finally locate it, bring it to him and as I begin an assessment he hurriedly thumbs through it and cuts me off mid sentence. "Whew! I thought I had lost my debit card but it is in here! Thank y'all for coming!" When asked if he really called 911 because he thought he lost his debit card he looked at me dumbfounded and said, "well, yeah. But, while you're here, can you hand me that box of tissues?"
 
Yesterday my emt partner and I responded to a BLS transfer, a home discharge from med/surg in a local hospital. Dispatch originally said the call needed a wheelchair/gurney van for the pt, "or whatever closest unit". So we show up on scene, get a set of vitals and I take report from the nurse. Nurse hands me paperwork and PCS. PCS states pt needs a wheelchair van for transport. I go in and introduce myself to the PT, upon visual assessment, I find the PT is a left leg amputee below the knee cap. We were informed the PT had 3 flights of stairs he had to go up. So we talk to the nurse and get her to rewrite the PCS and have dispatch upgrade the call to BLS since we will need to utilize a stair chair. Also it was now BLS because pt wouldn't be able to safely sit upright during transport and he was AOx3, his deficits were unable to tell time of day. We were explaining to the nurse why this call needed to be BLS and not a wheelchair van call. Nurse asked us if we could just lift up the gurney into the PT's home with him on it. My partner and I looked at each other. "Negative Ma'am we cannot lift that gurney up by ourselves". I don't want to be rude but come on..
 
Yesterday my emt partner and I responded to a BLS transfer, a home discharge from med/surg in a local hospital. Dispatch originally said the call needed a wheelchair/gurney van for the pt, "or whatever closest unit". So we show up on scene, get a set of vitals and I take report from the nurse. Nurse hands me paperwork and PCS. PCS states pt needs a wheelchair van for transport. I go in and introduce myself to the PT, upon visual assessment, I find the PT is a left leg amputee below the knee cap. We were informed the PT had 3 flights of stairs he had to go up. So we talk to the nurse and get her to rewrite the PCS and have dispatch upgrade the call to BLS since we will need to utilize a stair chair. Also it was now BLS because pt wouldn't be able to safely sit upright during transport and he was AOx3, his deficits were unable to tell time of day. We were explaining to the nurse why this call needed to be BLS and not a wheelchair van call. Nurse asked us if we could just lift up the gurney into the PT's home with him on it. My partner and I looked at each other. "Negative Ma'am we cannot lift that gurney up by ourselves". I don't want to be rude but come on..
What you don't have super strength? You can't just put gurney on your and your partner shoulder and walk it up the stairs? :D
 
What you don't have super strength? You can't just put gurney on your and your partner shoulder and walk it up the stairs? :D

We lugged the PT's FIVE BAGS he was discharged with. Along with his fake leg, I had to push the gurney with one hand and hold a commode in the other!
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Did you know your anal sphincter can dilate 10cm?

Got called to hotel for an OB complaining of abdominal pain. Arrive on scene to hear a woman screaming bloody murder from the second floor. We walk in and there is the patient on all fours at the foot of the bed screaming in pain obviously in her late third trimester. Bystanders state she hasn't had a bowel movement in a month and has been attempting to have a bowel movement for the past 2hrs with no success. While my female partner assesses the patient I go to inspect the toilet to make sure that what is in the toilet actually belongs in the toilet. ... And it looked like a marble collection of turds.

As I came out of the bathroom heading towards my partner behind the patient something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I first thought she was crowning. But noooooooo! It was 10cm in diameter of concrete ca-ca that was not moving. No wonder she was in pain.

So we had to lay her left lateral recumbent position on stretcher and literally carry her down two flights of stairs to the hospital and to OB department so they could dig the impaction out.
 
Motorcycle vs auto. Guy on motorcycle decided to try and beat a yellow in the bike lane. Well Light and auto won this battle, Pt smashed into the front driver side fender and ends up in the middle of the intersection. Obvious tib/fib deformity and left wrist deformity. Splint everything and get the pt loaded en route to trauma guy starts trying to phone wife and work. "Oh man my wife is going to be pissed this is the third time in a year I have broken bones on that bike." Yahhhhhhh don't think wife is going to let you keep that bike any longer.

First time i got to see traction pulled in the ED, wont ever forget the sound of that sigh of relief when they reset the leg :rolleyes:
 
STNA hits patient's med alert for leaky Foley catheter.
 
  1. PD request for person in custody only complaint is abrasions on arms from being taken down while drunk and carrying a rifle. It was loaded
 
We had a pt that claimed he was beaten and stomped to the ground... we show up police are their and this grown *** man is sobbing like a girl holding a bong like its a baby.. He had not one bruise on him... Partner and I totally thought this was a BS call... he was obviously baked out of his mind.. Then as we are having him sign failure to transport papers..His neighbor walks out and said that the crying bong man tried to rob him after knocking on his door and pointing a pistol in his face.. the neighbor grabbed the gun and pushed him to the ground and closed the door... he handed the police the gun and the crying bong man got arrested.. We held our composure until we got back in the rig... and we laughed for 5 minutes
 
Lots of ridiculous calls in my short time as an EMT in NYC. My favorite was getting a call for a cardiac arrest, get there and someone meets us at the door, we ask where the PT is and he says he just ran down the street [emoji849]
 
Got to see my partner try to give the patient's crack pipe back as the PT popped off the cot and bolted for the ED exit.
 
A shoping trip you wouldn't expect

The other day i was at a small grocery shop when i over hear this: "my finger hurts can you give me a elastic bandage". I turn my head and see a 20s male talking to the shop owner a former EMT (Quit about 6 years ago. Not certified anymore. Told me some time ago that he has not kept up with developments.) The owner turned and saw me. He told the pt that i am a medic and he should speak to me. So far a normal off duty thing (in my country there is a duty to act even wen off duty and not in uniform). The pt c/o post MVA rt index and forearm pain x2 days and get this he has already bean checked by a orthopedic doctor and all x-rays clean. I checked for brusing which can sometimes com 24-48 hrs later and found non. since so far i am not working with any organization and i am not a full EMT but a EMR-a i could not take him to a hospital and did not think he needed one anyway. told him an elastic bandage would hurt and he should take a otc pain killer for the next 3 days if the pain was bothering him to function.

P.S.
I am fairly new at this so if anyone has tips/suggestions on this or other ambulatory Injuries please PM me.
Not so new anymore :)
 
Transporting a person to the hospital because they witnessed a car accident. Meanwhile, the people actually involved in the accident were not injured at all and didn't even need police assistance. Minor damage.
 
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