Report Instructor?

[MMiz]

I think this is an important discussion, so it will continue. That said, we're watching this closely any any personal attacks will result in a vacation from the EMTLife community.

 

[goodgrief]

If someone calls you a "***** jew" a single time, but it didn't effect you getting a job /promotion/ what ever, you would be laughed at by police and lawyers for pursuing it as a hate crime.



Welcome to America, where we have freedom of speech so long as it doesn't impede someone elses rights. I can go out tomorrow and tell every woman I see that she has nice breast and not a damn thing can legally be done to me.

Distasteful? Sure. Legal? You betcha.

You can tell strangers, but you cant tell your employees that.

 

[goodgrief]

Part of the problem we have as a society today is at first offense we seek to sue or press charges rather than doing the right thing which is discuss the problem first. If after discussing the problem it continues then go after them.

Im not looking to file a lawsuit or have criminal charges pressed. I wasnt sure orginally if I was over reacting to what was said.

I know you didnt say I was sue happy, but this has been brought up a few times and just thought I would clarify

 

[medic417]

Lets see you make an anonymous letter. Only way to investigate and even interview the instructor is to say a student claims you made comments about her large breasts. So the instructor says yes/no/explains/etc. Now how many large breasted students does he have? Now he knows so now he is more likely to retaliate whether at the school or in the work force she may try and enter someday.

Had she discussed her distaste for the comments he might have had more respect for her and even later been a help for her getting a job.

And again if it fails you then have more legal legs to stand on.

OK I know I said that was my last but this really is at least until my next last comment.

 

[Shishkabob]

You can tell strangers, but you cant tell your employees that.

Sure I can! And I have. And they joke right on back. I have yet to hear a single complaint after 4 years.

At the same time I don't do it on day one and give it time to not only feel out their personality, but have them understand my sense of humor.



As has been stated, unless it's a quid pro quo situation, you NEED to ask them to stop before you can even dream of any legal actions.

 

[goodgrief]

: She was offended two weeks ago and now she is just getting around to wanting to file a complaint. To me, filing a complaint at this point would be more of an attempt to stick It to the Instructor. Fortunately enough I am not a woman and I was raised to confront a problem head on. There are more serious things to worry about then some guy's attempt to compliment you on your endowment..Just Imagine if he said you were ugly. Whole other ball game.

Alrighty then, I was brothered that day and thought about talking to the instructor and to the head of the program that friday. However I wasnt sure if was over reacting and maybe was missing some way that it would be part of the lesson.

I sat on it over the weekend, and talked to a few friends who had been in EMT school with me. And After the next class I was still bugged by it and posted it on here to see get some clarification from people who didnt know me to see if i was right in feeling like wtf.

and I do handle things head on, but sometimes its best to take a look at a situation before jumping in and butting heads over something.

And that statement right there of "thank God im not a woman because I handle things head on" is exactly why I have to weigh out weither its worth saying anything.

It wasnt a compliment, an instructor or a boss, or heck a co worker has no right to make a comment about anyone's breasts.

 

[medic417]

Im not looking to file a lawsuit or have criminal charges pressed. I wasnt sure orginally if I was over reacting to what was said.

I know you didnt say I was sue happy, but this has been brought up a few times and just thought I would clarify

Forget the sue term and consider if instructor has a good reputation if you speak to him and it solves the issue he maintains a good reputation as do you. If you go over his head you automatically ruin his rep and probably cost him his job even if it turns out you are found to be incorrect.

Now you talk to him and he becomes a jerk about it then he deserves whatever the school meets out and for you to even then to think lawsuit. But it is the grown up thing to actually try and talk out problems before you go next level. You can talk to him out of ear shot but in sight of others or with one witness to keep it safe for you.

 

[goodgrief]

I can't believe we are still arguing over this. Just go to the school board, cry your little heart out, make a scene and destroy your instructors reputation for a silly comment. It's the American thing to do anyway.

excuse me
I never ONCE said I was looking to get him fired, Ruin his life, or cry about anything.

I never once said anything about going to the school board.

All I was asking for was is it wrong for an instructor to mention my breast in a D50 emergency? Answer Yes

Should I go to the head of the program, who is his supervisor about this? NOT to file a lawsuit, not to get straight A's in class, but to bring it to his attention? Answer I dont know yet.

If I do decide to go to the program director which would be this wednesday when I have class again. The convo would pretty much go like this,
Just to let you know this was said, I thought it was out of line, Am I missing the point of this in a D50 call? if not then instructor X needs to understand that he cant say these things. I was worried about coming to you because if he feels I attacked him over this, it could effect me getting a jbo with the fire dept.
The End.
Look at that not one mention of a law suit or me crying.



Futhermore if I do go and say something, and it turns out he has been doing this alot, then he decided to ruin his life by running his mouth to females, NOT ME. He did by making those comments.

 

[goodgrief]

Maybe theres a way she could report the incident anonymously.

thanks sadly there isnt. There are only 25 of us in class, and only 5 women, and it would be known right away who said it because the others are all small chested

 

[goodgrief]

Sure I can! And I have. And they joke right on back. I have yet to hear a single complaint after 4 years.

At the same time I don't do it on day one and give it time to not only feel out their personality, but have them understand my sense of humor.



As has been stated, unless it's a quid pro quo situation, you NEED to ask them to stop before you can even dream of any legal actions.

You have really made comments about female's breasts?

 

[LucidResq]

I wonder how many of the men on here who are saying it's not a big deal and she needs to just get over it have daughters.

 

[LucidResq]

No, I think I didn't make myself quite clear. What I was trying to say is: She was offended two weeks ago and now she is just getting around to wanting to file a complaint. To me, filing a complaint at this point would be more of an attempt to stick It to the Instructor. If someone offended me In a threatening manner, I would have filled a report immediately. If someone harassed me two weeks ago, I would have had plenty of time to over analyze the situation and fuel the fire with my own means of retribution.

Of course we all have our own opinions. Fortunately enough I am not a woman and I was raised to confront a problem head on. There are more serious things to worry about then some guy's attempt to compliment you on your endowment..Just Imagine if he said you were ugly. Whole other ball game.

Oh well excuse me, I wasn't aware that being born with a penis made you all-righteous, born with a sense of pure justice and able to handle all difficult situations perfectly, your majesty. Why don't you take a step back and confront your massive, baseless ego head on? Since you're a man and poor weak women like me aren't capable of such things?

 

[LucidResq]

And if you consider that a personal attack and basis for a "vacation," fine. I refuse to tolerate blatant sexism and encouraging the perpetuation of sexual harassment because the "victim is lucky, he's complimenting you." I suppose in that same mindset rape is acceptable because the woman is lucky the man likes her so much and if she didn't like it, she should have fought back harder? This kind of attitude makes me sick. Just another case of pushing the blame to the victims instead of the perpetrators, contributing the vicious cycle of such things never being reported out of fear and shame.

 

[Shishkabob]

You have really made comments about female's breasts?

I've made sexual jokes. Sexual innuendos. perverted jokes. I've never once, to my knowledge, had anything I've said sexually be taken as anything other than an attempt at a laugh. Not a single complaint or disgusted face. But again, I choose my audience. Ask lucid if I've ever offended her.

Heck, I had a tech last night at an er talk to me about her breasts, their size, and how she always ends up laying them in bodily fluids when moving a patient. I've only met her a couple of times before, we don't even know eachothers names, yet we're able to joke.




Let me ask you...do you get offended when someone says "That's what she said"? Because, to me atleast, it's the same idea in this situation until proven otherwise.

Ilconceived joke? Maybe. Bad timing? Maybe. Wrong person it was aimed at if it was a joke? Obviously.


But in the context you presented it in, to me who is studying CJ, to EMS/LEO, to my sister in the last year in law school, and obviously to others, it seems more like an attempt at humor than sexual harassment.

 

[LucidResq]

Believe me Shteve, I can take a joke, as you know, but it sounds like the situation the OP was presented with would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. Mostly due to the instructor/student relationship and putting her in the spotlight in front of others kinda thing.

 

[Shishkabob]

I agree, Lauren, obviously not the best audience or target if it was a joke, and if someone is offended by a joke obviously they (the joker) needs to rethink his future as a standup comedian....but sexual harassment, a single time, in a non quid pro quo scenario? I don't agree.

 

[bstone]

Linuss, if you choose your audience to co-workers whom you are also friends with and they accept your sense of humor then it is fine.

It is *not* fine for a person in an authority position (instructor) to make a joke to a student, especially if they are not friends and understand each other's sense of humor.

Get it?

 

[bstone]

And if you consider that a personal attack and basis for a "vacation," fine. I refuse to tolerate blatant sexism and encouraging the perpetuation of sexual harassment because the "victim is lucky, he's complimenting you." I suppose in that same mindset rape is acceptable because the woman is lucky the man likes her so much and if she didn't like it, she should have fought back harder? This kind of attitude makes me sick. Just another case of pushing the blame to the victims instead of the perpetrators, contributing the vicious cycle of such things never being reported out of fear and shame.

Lucid, I think you just hit the nail on the head. You said it INCREDIBLY well. I will just +1 this because you said it so well.

 

[Shishkabob]

I'm a manager. They're my employees.


I fail to see the difference other than not selecting the proper audience.

 

[bstone]

I'm a manager. They're my employees.


I fail to see the difference other than not selecting the proper audience.

So you admit that as a manager you (regularly or not) use sexually inappropriate jokes with those who answer to you?