We got a call of an auto/ped on the freeway. The pt had run from the police onto the freeway, been thrown off several cars and then run over by a big rig. We got there and the pt was pretty mangled, but his head had been run over by the big rig tire and exploded.
I asked the captain of the FD what he needed and he said he just wanted me to confirm the pt was DOA. I told the Captain, the guy had no head, of course he was dead, the Captain said he just needed confirmation for his paperwork.
I got out the monitor paddles, put them on the pts chest and shook the paddles. The captain, looking at the monitor, not me, turned six shades of white and said "Holy ...., he's still alive, now what do we do?"
My partner almost needed resuscitation after that. The Captain didn't talk to me for weeks after that
Not EMS related, but still so damn funny...
Responded to a power pole on fire. Excited cop on scene runs up to us and asks, "what can I do for you guys?" Almost jumping out of his skin with excitment. My driver responds, "Nothing, unless you got some doughnuts in your car." The cop quickly lost his enthusiasm.
I responded to a driver needed call from our local ambulance service a couple months ago, to a bar that's just a couple blocks from my house. The medic on the call was the instructor of my EMT-B class, which I was still in at that time. He had the patient, who was obviously ETOH, sitting on the cot, and told him "If you feel the need to vomit, just aim for my partner."