emt's on a fire path: girlfriend ultimatum

[Ridryder911]

To the op, dump that chick, man join the fire service, its the greatest job in the world, and there many other ho's out there for your pickn.

Wow! Atropine, I have to admit you paint a perfect stereo type firefighter with each of your answer.

R/r 911

 

[911Knight]

As much as it might hurt...Life is too short to not be involved in a career you love. Follow your dream. You will meet somebody in your efforts who will support you.

 

[medic417]

It is just idiotic to throw a good relationship away over a job that you do not even know if you will like. High burn out rates.

 

[amberdt03]

dang.....i didn't realize men liked it when a woman told them what they can and can't do.

 

[medic417]

dang.....i didn't realize men liked it when a woman told them what they can and can't do.

Has he tried to talk to her? Especially with as Rid mentioned a counselor, or maybe a religious leader.

Has he even found out if he is going to be happy working fire? No, he's new.

 

[amberdt03]

Has he tried to talk to her? Especially with as Rid mentioned a counselor, or maybe a religious leader.

Has he even found out if he is going to be happy working fire? No, he's new.

true, but you're telling him that he shouldn't even try to find out if he's going to be happy working with a fire dept.

 

[PotatoMedic]

It is just idiotic to throw a good relationship away over a job that you do not even know if you will like. High burn out rates.

Would you consider a good relationship one were your girlfriend tells you what jobs you can and can't have?

How did you find out you liked working in EMS? My best guess is that you got trained, got hired (or volunteered), started working, and found out that you really did like it.

 

[medic417]

Would you consider a good relationship one were your girlfriend tells you what jobs you can and can't have?

How did you find out you liked working in EMS? My best guess is that you got trained, got hired (or volunteered), started working, and found out that you really did like it.

Remember we are getting only one side of the story. Is she actually saying no or is she showing loving concern? Has he actually took time to consider her feelings? After 6 months together you either have a good relationship or she does some special things to you to keep you hanging around. If the relationship is good it is worth making sure of what is going on. Perhaps she even sees that you are not cut out for this job.

And yes I found out I enjoyed this job by experience but I would not have given up a meaningful relationship for it then or now.

 

[EMTinNEPA]

Didn't you know? Once one girl shows interest in you, you should never let her go, she may be the only girl to ever show interest in you. Propose to her on the first date to really seal in the deal.

Some people on here might not appreciate your mocking. The things in life many of you take for granted aren't so easy for some.

 

[triemal04]

Relationships and jobs are kinda similar. The only difference is, you know, eventually, you will no longer be employed. You have a relationship. Do you have a firefighting job? That whole "shoot for the moon, even if you miss you land among the stars" nonsense is bull. Best case scenario, you marry this girl. Worst case scenario, she leaves you because you put in for the job. Then you don't get the job, and you wind up single and unemployed, and you sacrificed something good in your life for a pipe dream.

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but pal, you have some issues. Every girl (or guy if that's someones thing) that you meet and/or date is not someone that you could/should be spending a lifetime, or even an extended amount of time, with. Some people may actually never find that right person. To think that you HAVE to, and that every relationship is that special is blatantly false, and leaving yourself open for a lot of heartache. 6 months into a relationship in his early 20's...time to take a real long look at what this girl actually means to him, what his career choice means, and why she is asking this. To do otherwise is ridiculous.

Didn't you know? Once one girl shows interest in you, you should never let her go, she may be the only girl to ever show interest in you. Propose to her on the first date to really seal in the deal.

I actually approach random women on the street, tell them I'll do whatever they want me to forever and then immediately propose to them. Maybe that's why I have a permanent handprint on my face...

 

[Shishkabob]

It is just idiotic to throw a good relationship away over a job that you do not even know if you will like. High burn out rates.

How is it good if she's bossing his life around 6 months in?


That should take 2 years atleast, if not marriage, to get to that point of bossiness.

 

[EMTinNEPA]

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but pal, you have some issues. Every girl (or guy if that's someones thing) that you meet and/or date is not someone that you could/should be spending a lifetime, or even an extended amount of time, with. Some people may actually never find that right person. To think that you HAVE to, and that every relationship is that special is blatantly false, and leaving yourself open for a lot of heartache. 6 months into a relationship in his early 20's...time to take a real long look at what this girl actually means to him, what his career choice means, and why she is asking this. To do otherwise is ridiculous.

I never said that every relationship is special. In fact, I don't believe in love, "the one", or any of that garbage. If the person makes you happy, I say continue to be happy. It comes down to compatibility, and if you are compatible, then the relationship will be fine. I'm saying I don't think he should sacrifice a chance to be relatively happy for a stupid job. And she's asking him to give up firefighting because it's DANGEROUS, and no woman wants to be a widow.

 

[triemal04]

I never said that every relationship is special. In fact, I don't believe in love, "the one", or any of that garbage. If the person makes you happy, I say continue to be happy. It comes down to compatibility, and if you are compatible, then the relationship will be fine. I'm saying I don't think he should sacrifice a chance to be relatively happy for a stupid job. And she's asking him to give up firefighting because it's DANGEROUS, and no woman wants to be a widow.

Ok, I gotcha. He needs to decide something that you apparently allready have. Is this just a "stupid job," or is this what he really wants to do? Will being with her really make him happy and will he end up in a lasting relationship? Why is she even asking him this? Rather important questions that need to be answered.

Basically, what you've said and continue to say, is that a new relationship that may or may not even go anywhere or last is more important than a job and doing what you want to for a career. You really feel that way? Say you've been dating someone for 6 months and they tell you that they can't stand you being an EMT and if you try and become a paramedic it's off. What do you do?

 

[Ridryder911]

I never said that every relationship is special. In fact, I don't believe in love, "the one", or any of that garbage. If the person makes you happy, I say continue to be happy. It comes down to compatibility, and if you are compatible, then the relationship will be fine. I'm saying I don't think he should sacrifice a chance to be relatively happy for a stupid job. And she's asking him to give up firefighting because it's DANGEROUS, and no woman wants to be a widow.

Okay, I now see the problem. You don't believe in love? Yet believe one will be happy with a person and base it upon compatibility? That's very confusing since most successful relationships are not based something as simple as being compatible, then was is the difference in being roommates and just friends as per say being mates?

Do many have a poor perception of what love is? Sure. But, why limit yourself to someone or life because things are going great .... for right now.

What happens per say in two years that person does not tend to make you happy.. you discharge them and move on until you find another that makes you happy?

Do you sacrifice your potential career (whatever it might be) due to a current feeling without that knowledge of commitment?

Love is more than an emotion as it has held couples together through the roughest times and joyous occasions. In fact most will inform you that their love grows and deepens many times after the "rough" situation that they "stuck it through".

Again, one has to be happy with themselves way before they can ever should consider attempting to be happy with another. Communication is essential in any relationship, and as suggested counseling can open doors to encourage and develop a better method of doing so.

R/r 911

 

[csly27]

wow, I think you and your girl need to serioulsy have a heart to heart. If this is truly what you want and what she does not, you will either give her up and move on, or give in and end up resenting her. I love working in EMS, My father was an emt and in the army, and my husband currently serves in the army. Communication is huge and if you two are already having issues in that area it is not gonna be good down the road. So my advice to you is communicate and be honest with one another. Because with out that no matter what you choose it will not work. Just my 2 cents.

 

[kittaypie]

you're more likely to die driving to work than actually putting out a fire. tell her to lay off... you should be with someone who supports what you do.

 

[Sasha]

And she's asking him to give up firefighting because it's DANGEROUS, and no woman wants to be a widow.

I disagree, I want to marry rich and widow early.

Regardless, life is hazardous to your health. Every job is potentially dangerous. Teachers can get shot up at school, bankers can get shot up in a robbery, train drivers can get hijacked, ice cream men can crash or get killed by an angry parent, crossing guards can get hit by a car, bag ladies/men can get mowed down by a cart, cart rounder upers can get hit by a car, factory worker can get caught in machinery, office workers can have an airplane crashed into their office building, etc.

Also, you can't base your life on what other people want. You will never be happy if it's not what YOU want.

He wants to be a firefighter whether you think it's a decent profession or not. That may or may not make him happy, but he will never know until he tries it out.

 

[46Young]

I never said that every relationship is special. In fact, I don't believe in love, "the one", or any of that garbage. If the person makes you happy, I say continue to be happy. It comes down to compatibility, and if you are compatible, then the relationship will be fine. I'm saying I don't think he should sacrifice a chance to be relatively happy for a stupid job. And she's asking him to give up firefighting because it's DANGEROUS, and no woman wants to be a widow.

Allright, we get it, you hate the fire service and take every opportunity possible to discourage others from going down that route.

You really seem to hate firefighters. What did they do to you? Tune you up, steal your girlfriend, what is it with you? the guy asked about relationship advice and you keep obsessing and ranting about the (evil, stupid, dangerous, blah blah blah) fire service.

 

[EMTinNEPA]

Ok, I gotcha. He needs to decide something that you apparently allready have. Is this just a "stupid job," or is this what he really wants to do? Will being with her really make him happy and will he end up in a lasting relationship? Why is she even asking him this? Rather important questions that need to be answered.

Basically, what you've said and continue to say, is that a new relationship that may or may not even go anywhere or last is more important than a job and doing what you want to for a career. You really feel that way? Say you've been dating someone for 6 months and they tell you that they can't stand you being an EMT and if you try and become a paramedic it's off. What do you do?

You can't base your life on "what ifs". You have to look at things logically. We have a biological and evolutionary incentive to continue the species. He has found potential for doing so. Why forsake what nature has programmed us to do for a job where he'll just end up retiring and may very well be alone afterward? And yes, a new relationship that may or may not go anywhere is more important than a job that probably won't go anywhere or will potentially get him killed.

Okay, I now see the problem. You don't believe in love? Yet believe one will be happy with a person and base it upon compatibility? That's very confusing since most successful relationships are not based something as simple as being compatible, then was is the difference in being roommates and just friends as per say being mates?

Do many have a poor perception of what love is? Sure. But, why limit yourself to someone or life because things are going great .... for right now.

What happens per say in two years that person does not tend to make you happy.. you discharge them and move on until you find another that makes you happy?

Do you sacrifice your potential career (whatever it might be) due to a current feeling without that knowledge of commitment?

Love is more than an emotion as it has held couples together through the roughest times and joyous occasions. In fact most will inform you that their love grows and deepens many times after the "rough" situation that they "stuck it through".

Again, one has to be happy with themselves way before they can ever should consider attempting to be happy with another. Communication is essential in any relationship, and as suggested counseling can open doors to encourage and develop a better method of doing so.

R/r 911

Yes, I do not believe in love. The only difference between a girlfriend and a friend is the behavior between you and her, whatever emotional nonsense you feel, and the "girl" you add to the beginning. If people are compatible, they have fun together. They have fun together, they make each other happy. There's no magical force there. They just enjoy each others' company.

I disagree, I want to marry rich and widow early.

Things are starting to make sense now...

Regardless, life is hazardous to your health. Every job is potentially dangerous. Teachers can get shot up at school, bankers can get shot up in a robbery, train drivers can get hijacked, ice cream men can crash or get killed by an angry parent, crossing guards can get hit by a car, bag ladies/men can get mowed down by a cart, cart rounder upers can get hit by a car, factory worker can get caught in machinery, office workers can have an airplane crashed into their office building, etc.

Also, you can't base your life on what other people want. You will never be happy if it's not what YOU want.

He wants to be a firefighter whether you think it's a decent profession or not. That may or may not make him happy, but he will never know until he tries it out.

How many school shootings have there been compared to firefighters hurt or killed? Yes, every job is potentially dangerous, but few jobs require you to go face to face with that danger with the intentions of destroying it. And what if other peoples' happiness makes him happy? This is nothing to do with my disdain for the fire service. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, this thread shouldn't even be on here since this is an EMS forum. But I'm humoring it anyway because I don't want this guy to throw away something that makes him happy for something else that might make him happy for a little while, or he might not even achieve and find himself in double misery.

Allright, we get it, you hate the fire service and take every opportunity possible to discourage others from going down that route.

You really seem to hate firefighters. What did they do to you? Tune you up, steal your girlfriend, what is it with you? the guy asked about relationship advice and you keep obsessing and ranting about the (evil, stupid, dangerous, blah blah blah) fire service.

Of the five posts I've made in this tread, I spoke of the fire service in a negative light once. The fact that I want to take every possible opportunity to discourage others from going down the firemedic route is irrelevant. I would say the same to him for any particularly dangerous job. If he wants to be a firefighter, fine. I'll always need a stretcher fetcher or somebody to cut my patient out of something. But by forsaking this relationship before he even has a job offer is the old proverbial counting of unhatched chickens. Once he has a job offer, he can do whatever he wants. If he picks her, I wish worlds of health, wealth, and happiness. If he picks the job, one more stretcher fetcher and one more hurt girl who needs a rebound man (giggity giggity goo!)

As for why I hate the fire service, haven't you and I been over it enough times?

And to the OP: I think we've all forgotten the most important question: What does this girl look like?

j/k

 

[Ridryder911]

Yes, I do not believe in love. The only difference between a girlfriend and a friend is the behavior between you and her, whatever emotional nonsense you feel, and the "girl" you add to the beginning. If people are compatible, they have fun together. They have fun together, they make each other happy. There's no magical force there. They just enjoy each others' company.

So what happens when the "fun" wears off? Get a new partner? Next.... How sad! You have never been in love? I guess what parents have for their children is not love? .. How asinine.


You may not believe in love, but to be attached to someone because they are "fun" appears to be very shallow. I ask since your description of you rather be with someone than to build a healthy relationship, and to choose a person that would not be "fun" (by dictating a career) is contradicting each other .

I ask you this.. "How's this working for you?".. As it appears from your post you rather be with someone than to be alone?. ....

Usually, when people make such statements as there is no such thing as love; I recommend therapy. Maybe they have been hurt and as the saying goes ..."to be loved, you have to love"...

R/r 911