emt's on a fire path: girlfriend ultimatum

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Ridryder911 said:
So what happens when the "fun" wears off? Get a new partner? Next.... How sad! You have never been in love? I guess what parents have for their children is not love? .. How asinine.


You may not believe in love, but to be attached to someone because they are "fun" appears to be very shallow. I ask since your description of you rather be with someone than to build a healthy relationship, and to choose a person that would not be "fun" (by dictating a career) is contradicting each other .

I ask you this.. "How's this working for you?".. As it appears from your post you rather be with someone than to be alone?. ....

Usually, when people make such statements as there is no such thing as love; I recommend therapy. Maybe they have been hurt and as the saying goes ..."to be loved, you have to love"...

R/r 911
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If the "fun" wears off, it's no different than if the "fun" wears off in a relationship with someone you "love"... if you don't enjoy being around somebody, then why be around them? And no, I am not contradicting myself. If the OP didn't enjoy being around her, obviously he wouldn't be posting this thread. As for parents, it is different. Parents are biologically programmed for attachment to their children... like I said, we have a biological urge to continue the species.

How's it working out for me? Not well, since I've been alone for four years now. So no, I have never been in love. Just like I don't believe in alien abductions because I've never been abducted. Just like I don't believe in Jesus because he's never spoken to me. Just like I don't believe in Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, or the Tooth Fairy.

And as for therapy... why should I pay some "doctor" $200 an hour to tell me things I already know?
 
So your saying there is no emotional feeling as such or that just you are unable to produce that? I also doubt that any Dr. would agree as well, since there is many that make millions off "love". As well any real educated psychologist/psychiatrist

I presume you have no children either... Your parents did not love you and you did not love your parents? ... What happens to those that can't have children? Let's quit being so cold and full of scientific garbage. Life is much more than cells and amoebas.. thank God!

Sorry, I do doubt that you really believe such. As in even in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs .. each person desires and needs Love and Belonging right past physiological needs. Good front and keep telling yourself that.. Personally, I wish you luck as I would never want my world to be so indifferent.

R/r 911
 
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EMTinNEPA said:
You can't base your life on "what ifs". You have to look at things logically. We have a biological and evolutionary incentive to continue the species. He has found potential for doing so. Why forsake what nature has programmed us to do for a job where he'll just end up retiring and may very well be alone afterward? And yes, a new relationship that may or may not go anywhere is more important than a job that probably won't go anywhere or will potentially get him killed.
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Rather suspicious that you ducked my question. Think you can answer it? Because all this sounds like is a very bitter individual upset with someone chosen career. So basically you actually think that even the most casual unknown relationship is the most important thing out there? That nothing can or should take precedence? Wow...you had some serious problems with girlfriends in the past, didn't you?
 
triemal04 said:
Rather suspicious that you ducked my question. Think you can answer it? Because all this sounds like is a very bitter individual upset with someone chosen career. So basically you actually think that even the most casual unknown relationship is the most important thing out there? That nothing can or should take precedence? Wow...you had some serious problems with girlfriends in the past, didn't you?
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Girlfriends, and probably a failed attempt at joining the fire service. It would explain a lot. He did say at one point that he attempted joining the fire service. I don't recall him ever saying he successfully completed the academy, or being hired anywhere. Or maybe fire based EMS is the only provider in the area that pays well there.
 
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Ridryder911 said:
So your saying there is no emotional feeling as such or that just you are unable to produce that? I also doubt that any Dr. would agree as well, since there is many that make millions off "love". As well any real educated psychologist/psychiatrist

I presume you have no children either... Your parents did not love you and you did not love your parents? ... What happens to those that can't have children? Let's quit being so cold and full of scientific garbage. Life is much more than cells and amoebas.. thank God!

Sorry, I do doubt that you really believe such. As in even in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs .. each person desires and needs Love and Belonging right past physiological needs. Good front and keep telling yourself that.. Personally, I wish you luck as I would never want my world to be so indifferent.

R/r 911
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There is an emotional feeling... it's a combination of sexual attraction and enjoying the other person's company. As for non-romantic love, evolution has programmed us to have feelings of attachment to our family (or "pack" if you will) because the early human tribes that stuck together survived. This doesn't cheapen or somehow discredit the feeling... it just isn't anything special. It's a chemical reaction in the brain based on external stimuli and internal need.

No, I do not have children, thankfully. I doubt the world is ready for a little half-me anyway.

I love my parents and my parents love me as described above. Until someone can show me something not based on pure emotion, I'm sorry, that's all it is.

More than cells and amoebas? Wish I could believe that, but I see no reason to, as you and I discussed in the past.

Would I go for a girl that I loved? Sure. But nobody has interested me in that way.

If the opinions I'm offering are a front, then surely you have some idea what my real stance is, and I would LOVE to hear it.
 
triemal04 said:
Rather suspicious that you ducked my question. Think you can answer it? Because all this sounds like is a very bitter individual upset with someone chosen career. So basically you actually think that even the most casual unknown relationship is the most important thing out there? That nothing can or should take precedence? Wow...you had some serious problems with girlfriends in the past, didn't you?
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Two weeks is casual. Six months is enough time to get to know somebody very well. Obviously it isn't that casual, since it troubled this kid enough to post about the ultimatum.

As for girlfriend problems, nothing I would want to share with the class.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
Two weeks is casual. Six months is enough time to get to know somebody very well. Obviously it isn't that casual, since it troubled this kid enough to post about the ultimatum.

As for girlfriend problems, nothing I would want to share with the class.
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I really don't want to know about your relationship problems...to be honest I don't care.

What I care about is you answering the question: your girlfriend of 6 months tells you that if you remain an EMT or become a paramedic the relationship is off right then. What do you do?
EMTinNEPA said:
There is an emotional feeling... it's a combination of sexual attraction and enjoying the other person's company.
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So...sex is more important than a career, and, apparently from what you've posted, more important than everything else? Yowzah...
 
46Young said:
Girlfriends, and probably a failed attempt at joining the fire service. It would explain a lot. He did say at one point that he attempted joining the fire service. I don't recall him ever saying he successfully completed the academy, or being hired anywhere. Or maybe fire based EMS is the only provider in the area that pays well there.
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Academy? ROFLMFAO

Fire service around here is all volunteer. There is no "academy". There is no "hiring". They'll take any shmuck off the street, throw a set of turnout gear on him, and make him a hero. I toyed around with joining a local department to do vehicle rescue for giggles and poops, but in the end didn't. And the Fire-Based EMS is all volunteer with the exception of one department and they don't pay crap.
 
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triemal04 said:
I really don't want to know about your relationship problems...to be honest I don't care.

What I care about is you answering the question: your girlfriend of 6 months tells you that if you remain an EMT or become a paramedic the relationship is off right then. What do you do?

So...sex is more important than a career, and, apparently from what you've posted, more important than everything else? Yowzah...
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She would have to offer a valid reason as to why EMT or paramedic wasn't a good job. Your question is irrelevant. The OP's girlfriend posted a valid reason for him to not be a firefighter: it's dangerous. She has images of a burning beam falling on him and breaking his back, leaving her to take care of her crippled husband, or raising children by herself.

And no, HAPPINESS is more important than a career.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
She would have to offer a valid reason as to why EMT or paramedic wasn't a good job. Your question is irrelevant. The OP's girlfriend posted a valid reason for him to not be a firefighter: it's dangerous. She has images of a burning beam falling on him and breaking his back, leaving her to take care of her crippled husband, or raising children by herself.

And no, HAPPINESS is more important than a career.
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Right...because EMS is such a safe profession. Fine. Toss in that she is concerned that you will contract hepatitis, MRSA, the flu, permanently injure your back, become a jaded burn out...now what's your answer? <readies for the duck and dodge>

Look...basically all your responces come down to the same thing: a relationship, no matter how casual or new, no matter the fact that there is no gaurentee that it will last or be meaningful is the most important thing because of sex, enjoying their company, and the need to procreate, and nothing should get in the way of that.

Once again...yowzah.

Edit: so you must know the girl in question to know exactly what she's thinking. Please. Based on the OP's statements the girl does not know much of anything about firefighting and is probably basing her opinion off the Hollywood style. And if he's right and she has a built in bias against blue-collar jobs... Answer the question or face up to your hypocrisy. Firefighting is a dangerous job, but not that dangerous, same as EMS.
 
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triemal04 said:
Right...because EMS is such a safe profession. Fine. Toss in that she is concerned that you will contract hepatitis, MRSA, the flu, permanently injure your back, become a jaded burn out...now what's your answer? <readies for the duck and dodge>

Look...basically all your responces come down to the same thing: a relationship, no matter how casual or new, no matter the fact that there is no gaurentee that it will last or be meaningful is the most important thing because of sex, enjoying their company, and the need to procreate, and nothing should get in the way of that.

Once again...yowzah.
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I will explain to her that my service has strict policies on isolation when dealing with patients that have known deadly and contractible conditions, that we have all been taught and use proper lifting technique and get help when we need it and that my service purchased power litters for this very reason, and that I was already a jaded burnout when she met me.

I'm getting sick of this debate. I think he's a moron to throw away something he has to go after something he might not get and in the end wind up with nothing. If you disagree, that's fine.

And if you have a better explanation of "love", then I would LOVE to hear it.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
Academy? ROFLMFAO

Fire service around here is all volunteer. There is no "academy". There is no "hiring". They'll take any shmuck off the street, throw a set of turnout gear on him, and make him a hero. I toyed around with joining a local department to do vehicle rescue for giggles and poops, but in the end didn't. And the Fire-Based EMS is all volunteer with the exception of one department and they don't pay crap.
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You could've fooled, me, with all of the venom you spew towards fire based EMS. You even admitted once that you were jealous of our benefits. You also said that you're trying to figure out how to work two full time jobs after graauating medic school. If fire based EMS isn't really forcing you out of a job, then what's the root of your animosity towards FBEMS?

I'm just curious as to what happened that caused you to turn bitter towards FBEMS and the fire service in general. What negative event(s) took place?

What happened to you in past relationships that would cause you to take this "unique" views towards love, happiness, etc?
 
46Young said:
You could've fooled, me, with all of the venom you spew towards fire based EMS. You even admitted once that you were jealous of our benefits. You also said that you're trying to figure out how to work two full time jobs after graauating medic school. If fire based EMS isn't really forcing you out of a job, then what's the root of your animosity towards FBEMS?

I'm just curious as to what happened that caused you to turn bitter towards FBEMS and the fire service in general. What negative event(s) took place?

What happened to you in past relationships that would cause you to take this "unique" views towards love, happiness, etc?
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My responses are nothing for the forum. If you really want to know, send me a pm with the understanding that my responses are to be kept in confidence.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
I will explain to her that my service has strict policies on isolation when dealing with patients that have known deadly and contractible conditions, that we have all been taught and use proper lifting technique and get help when we need it and that my service purchased power litters for this very reason, and that I was already a jaded burnout when she met me.

I'm getting sick of this debate. I think he's a moron to throw away something he has to go after something he might not get and in the end wind up with nothing. If you disagree, that's fine.

He could explain new advances in gear, the HUD, pre planning, PAR checks, accountability, RIT level 2 and 3, the new safety culture, typically defensive operations with type 5 construction with no roof ventilation being performed, strategic ventilation to make conditions tenable, maze training on air and blacked out for structural collapse, numerous drills for RIT, mayday, buddy breathing, "two in, two out", remaining on air for overhaul, mandatory vigorous PT with yearly work performance evaluations on air to help prevent MI's and CVA's, full yearly physicals including treadmill stress test, TB, hearing, vision, musculoskeletal function, hearing and vision, pulmonary function, etc. He could explain all that to her. Same logic.

He could also "throw away" a career in the fire service, and continue the relationship that may not work out either. He ends up with nothing. Same logic.
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EMTinNEPA said:
My responses are nothing for the forum. If you really want to know, send me a pm with the understanding that my responses are to be kept in confidence.
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Fair enough. I can respect that.
 
if she's not going to back you up in your decision to become a firefighter than you don't need her.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
I will explain to her that my service has strict policies on isolation when dealing with patients that have known deadly and contractible conditions, that we have all been taught and use proper lifting technique and get help when we need it and that my service purchased power litters for this very reason, and that I was already a jaded burnout when she met me.

I'm getting sick of this debate. I think he's a moron to throw away something he has to go after something he might not get and in the end wind up with nothing. If you disagree, that's fine.

And if you have a better explanation of "love", then I would LOVE to hear it.
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Sooo how will you counter when some girl says she's afraid of a mental patient hurting you, or you getting robbed and murdered for your drug box? Crashing in an ambulance?

You think the fire service just goes in willy nilly and squirts around water? THEY have safety percautions too, but accidents do happen. Like an accidental needle stick, a tear in the glove, or the fact you don't know your patient is carrying TB or community acquired PNA, or something until later on after you've already shared a close and comfy ambulance ride.
 
For what its worth my advice is that do what will make you happy. If EMS/Fire is what you want then go for it. She may not stick it out but there is somebody out there that will. It is important to be happy in all aspects of your life. If you give in to somebody else and give up your desires and dreams then you will grow to resent that person and it is never worth it. Be happy with yourself and your decisions and then the rest will fall into place.
 
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