Dumbest thing heard on the radio

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
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IFT company BLS crew was dispatched to Hospital A to transfer to hospital B for a 20 year old MALE vampire who was 19 months pregnant. Every duty crew managed to show up at one of the hospitals to check that out. The crew that got the transport stated he didn't look pregnant. So I asked what the time is that vampires carry their fetuses; she wasn't sure so she asked the receiving nurse: the answer was 'At least 20 months, since he hadn't had it yet'.
Thought that was a good answer
 

RedAirplane

Forum Asst. Chief
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IFT company BLS crew was dispatched to Hospital A to transfer to hospital B for a 20 year old MALE vampire who was 19 months pregnant. Every duty crew managed to show up at one of the hospitals to check that out. The crew that got the transport stated he didn't look pregnant. So I asked what the time is that vampires carry their fetuses; she wasn't sure so she asked the receiving nurse: the answer was 'At least 20 months, since he hadn't had it yet'.
Thought that was a good answer
Whenever I get a call involving a vampire, I suspect he just wants a free ride to his daily blood transfusion. With that said, I advise the hospital to keep extra security around the blood bank. As for me, thankfully garlic is part of standard BLS equipment and can be used if the patient becomes uncooperative. They're not the worst patients.

Werewolves, on the other hand, require a special mod ambulance that can filter out the rays of the full moon. They're really difficult on scene, but once you get them inside, they're really happy that they're back to being human. Just make sure nobody opens a window during transport, and park very close to the hospital door.
 

LiveForTheTones

Forum Crew Member
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19
8
We have arguably one of the worst dispatchers of all time.

Picture this: A 300 lb dispatcher siting in front of his council eating a bowl of chili that's resting on his beer gut.
Pushes the mic and mumbles an incomprehensible ten fa. To pretty much any message that gets transmitted regardless of its importance. He recently decided that mumbling ten four/ten fa, is too much work, so now he reverts back to the infamous radio click.


Medic 2 to dispatch, were on the air investigating a possible mvc at xxx address.

"Click".

"Medic 2 dispatch, we received that radio click"
How do these people keep their jobs??
 

Tigger

Dodges Pucks
Community Leader
6,873
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County dispatch, you can show Squad 8-1 on scene, we'll be pullout command.

Tee hee.
 

NomadicMedic

EMS Edumacator
10,697
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For some reason the county I work in now has decided that the word "clear" means okay or received. It makes me crazy.

Me: "Medic 2 is responding to XXX Main Street"

'Spatch: Medic 2, clear.

Wait, what? Have I been cleared from that call?

How about we just use plain language.

Going to the scene: responding.
Arrived on scene: on scene
Going to the hospital: transporting.
At the hospital: medic X out at xxx hospital.

If you need to respond that you understood: okay.

No 10-4, copy, roger or any other crap.

"Medic 5 respond to xxx main st for chest pain."

"Medic 5 okay."

Why is that so hard?
 

RedAirplane

Forum Asst. Chief
515
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For some reason the county I work in now has decided that the word "clear" means okay or received. It makes me crazy.

Me: "Medic 2 is responding to XXX Main Street"

'Spatch: Medic 2, clear.

Wait, what? Have I been cleared from that call?

How about we just use plain language.

Going to the scene: responding.
Arrived on scene: on scene
Going to the hospital: transporting.
At the hospital: medic X out at xxx hospital.

If you need to respond that you understood: okay.

No 10-4, copy, roger or any other crap.

"Medic 5 respond to xxx main st for chest pain."

"Medic 5 okay."

Why is that so hard?
 

Tigger

Dodges Pucks
Community Leader
6,873
1,975
113
G
For some reason the county I work in now has decided that the word "clear" means okay or received. It makes me crazy.

Me: "Medic 2 is responding to XXX Main Street"

'Spatch: Medic 2, clear.

Wait, what? Have I been cleared from that call?

How about we just use plain language.

Going to the scene: responding.
Arrived on scene: on scene
Going to the hospital: transporting.
At the hospital: medic X out at xxx hospital.

If you need to respond that you understood: okay.

No 10-4, copy, roger or any other crap.

"Medic 5 respond to xxx main st for chest pain."

"Medic 5 okay."

Why is that so hard?
Gross.

I want to yell at people who say things like "show Med 3 clear, transporting to regional."

You're not clear fool.
 

RedAirplane

Forum Asst. Chief
515
120
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Ever requested ALS, then heard ALS dispatched to a location that isn't yours, and doesn't even actually exist?
 

inthesticks09

Forum Ride Along
2
1
3
Pilot: Incident command, this is CareFlite 3.

Fire Idiot: CareFlite 3, this is Engine 59, go ahead.

Pilot: Engine 59, we are three minutes out from your scene. Do you have any landing hazards or obstructions to report?

Fire Idiot: Negative, CareFlite, no hazards or obstructions, just some trees and telephone poles, nothing else.

Believe it or not, this was a PAID, "professional" (using the term very loosely) fire department.
...Pilot: Engine 59, can you report any intelligent life on scene?

Hehe
 

sirengirl

Forum Lieutenant
238
29
28
In my area there is a housing community that names all its streets after really pompous sounding flowers and botanicals. We were dispatched to such an address. My radio traffic as follows:

"Medic124 responding for chest pain to 456..... Uhhh.... Ummm... THAT-word Street." Cue stifled laughter from dispatch over the radio.

(Bougainvillea, in case you were wondering. I still can't pronounce it.)
 

LiveForTheTones

Forum Crew Member
39
19
8
In my area there is a housing community that names all its streets after really pompous sounding flowers and botanicals. We were dispatched to such an address. My radio traffic as follows:

"Medic124 responding for chest pain to 456..... Uhhh.... Ummm... THAT-word Street." Cue stifled laughter from dispatch over the radio.

(Bougainvillea, in case you were wondering. I still can't pronounce it.)
Bo-gan-veel-lea.
 

MicahW

Forum Crew Member
31
6
8
I never heard this one personally but I heard about it while I was still an EMT student.
"Dispatch, 7121"
"Go ahead car 21"
"Um...yeah...we're gunna need the fat bus (bariatric unit) over here ASAP."

That guy got fired pretty quickly.
 

Martyn

Forum Asst. Chief
584
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I never heard this one personally but I heard about it while I was still an EMT student.
"Dispatch, 7121"
"Go ahead car 21"
"Um...yeah...we're gunna need the fat bus (bariatric unit) over here ASAP."

That guy got fired pretty quickly.
We used to call it the 'Fatty Wagon' at Americare
 

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
1,305
154
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We used to call it (to our crew members or dispatch on the phone or in person) the 'Fat Bas***D or Fat Bi*** cot/truck
 

NTXFF

Forum Crew Member
49
14
8
"County show engine 1 on scene we've got a 1000 sq foot chicken coop fully involved show engine 1 out on fire attack."
"Engine 1 has chicken coop command."
County laughing over the radio " received chicken coop command."
Mutual aid engine for water. "We're bringin the tater salad so make sure you cook them up good."
 
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