Dumbest thing heard on the radio

EMT Punter

Forum Ride Along
2
0
1
Ambulance 0000 be in route to #### for a 14 yo male with powerful magnets clamped on penis. Be advised mother stated she could not get them off.
 

AcadianExplorer1910

Forum Crew Member
42
4
8
Me: "Communications, send LEO to intersection of hwy 70 and pedestrian crosswalk. The big, giant pedestrian crosswalk"
Dispatch: "10-4, can we request a reason why?"
Me: "Patient fled unit at stop sign"
Dispatch: "Are you saying that the patient jumped out of the truck at the stop sign?"
Me: "Affirmative"
Dispatch: "What is patient's location now?"
Me: "No idea. That's why we need LEO"
we had a few psych patients do that
 

RedAirplane

Forum Asst. Chief
515
120
43
My first time overseeing a special event, I said something stupid:

"Attention all teams, security is responding to report of a fight near the entrance, please shelter in place and return to base immediately. Standby for roll call. Team 1 ..."

The question then became... should they shelter in place or return to base? :O
 

Jim37F

Forum Deputy Chief
3,201
1,778
113
Overheard this little gem of an exchange over the fire radio...
[Engine company enroute to a public assist call]: "(Dispatch), Engine (XYZ), am I reading the text on this call correctly? There's a cat on the porch??"
(Dispatch): "Engine XYZ, that's affirmative, caller is requesting fire department assistance"
(Engine) "Uh, copy....is this like a lion or something??" (More than a little incredulousnes in the Captains voice)
(Dispatch) "You're text just says 'cat'"
(Engine)"...copy"
 

StCEMT

Forum Deputy Chief
2,480
1,354
113
Overheard this little gem of an exchange over the fire radio...
[Engine company enroute to a public assist call]: "(Dispatch), Engine (XYZ), am I reading the text on this call correctly? There's a cat on the porch??"
(Dispatch): "Engine XYZ, that's affirmative, caller is requesting fire department assistance"
(Engine) "Uh, copy....is this like a lion or something??" (More than a little incredulousnes in the Captains voice)
(Dispatch) "You're text just says 'cat'"
(Engine)"...copy"
Why does that even get dispatched? The only response to that should be "that's nice dear" *click*
 

CALEMT

The Other Guy/ Paramaybe?
3,498
2,420
113
Overheard this little gem of an exchange over the fire radio...
[Engine company enroute to a public assist call]: "(Dispatch), Engine (XYZ), am I reading the text on this call correctly? There's a cat on the porch??"
(Dispatch): "Engine XYZ, that's affirmative, caller is requesting fire department assistance"
(Engine) "Uh, copy....is this like a lion or something??" (More than a little incredulousnes in the Captains voice)
(Dispatch) "You're text just says 'cat'"
(Engine)"...copy"
Good ole LACo.
 

dutemplar

Forum Captain
290
185
43
Overheard this little gem of an exchange over the fire radio...
[Engine company enroute to a public assist call]: "(Dispatch), Engine (XYZ), am I reading the text on this call correctly? There's a cat on the porch??"
(Dispatch): "Engine XYZ, that's affirmative, caller is requesting fire department assistance"
(Engine) "Uh, copy....is this like a lion or something??" (More than a little incredulousnes in the Captains voice)
(Dispatch) "You're text just says 'cat'"
(Engine)"...copy"
The nice thing about Qatar,... I had left work and drove the other way about an hour before this.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2016/mar/08/tiger-loose-on-qatar-highway-video

The most amusing thing from home was politically incorrect. One chief placing the medic unit in service, no injuries, return the box. The medic keying up and advising they had double entrapment and requesting an expedite on the rescue as well as a helicopter. Chief telling County to standby... Medic requesting County for PSP to drug test the chief, "I think he's smoking crack."

I was yelled at for saying that...
 

Adam Doll

Forum Ride Along
4
0
1
This is more of a "did they really just say that" moment than funny.

I had a dispatcher state and I quote "pt appears retarded". I couldn't imagine what this particular dispatcher was thinking but she isn't the brightest crown in the box either.
 

NPO

Forum Deputy Chief
1,647
763
113
"having a seizure, having trouble walking"

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
 

Medic27

Forum Lieutenant
134
23
18
Please note the dispatchers in this rural area are stupider than a light bulb and the dispatch management isn't any better.

Dispatcher: "Medic 1 please respond to (address) for a ground level fall 28 year old male code blue."
Medic 1" Just confirming, 28 year old male code blue ground level fall, any other information on the patient?"
Dispatcher: Patient is complaining of pain in their lower back...

What the ****? Come on, she didn't even know what a code blue was but she said it because it sounded right... My God.. That's the most stupid one ever.
 

NPO

Forum Deputy Chief
1,647
763
113
BLS: Dispatch, unit, we have a walker at station 1.
Dispatch: Affirmative. We're on the phone with PD

Walker may not be a universal term, so I'll explain. It comes from the walking dead, obviously, and refers to chronic drug users who have completely fried their brains that they simply wanted around like zombies, often flailing and talking to themselves. Not something I'd expect to hear on the radio.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
 

Gemma Beauchamp

Forum Ride Along
4
0
1
Coming home from an airlift call when our chief told everyone on the road that there was a suicidal elk and to watch out for it.
 

Olin

Forum Ride Along
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1
I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread over the past few days. I have a couple that may be interesting. I’m a park ranger and mainly deal with LEO dispatch.

Dispatch: 1 Adam, trespass at x street. Neighbor in yard stealing apples from tree.

1 Adam: in route

2 Adam: attach me to the trespass

3 Adam: add me to that call

4 Adam: attach me to the trespass and show me in route.

( This was entertaining as I pictured 4 cop cars racing toward the apple thief. It was a very slow morning).

——-

Dispatch: 1 Adam, Wildlife call at x street for an injured deer in the road way.

I happened to be coming up to the scene, so I gave my report and stated that I’d be putting the animal down.

Me: cancel this dispatch, the animal left the scene.

Road Sargent: we’ll let you know if he shows up at the ER.
 
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