Dumbest thing heard on the radio

***our Unit was 151***

Dispatch: 51 Code3 for Man Down at 1234 Euclid Av.
Unit: 51 KMG365!
 
Ladder: Ladder X, Fire Alarm, Back in quarters
FA: Ladder X, I have you back in quarters 1703, (in the background "they were on the road?)
 
Well I don't know if it's dumb but we had an extremely slow day so the dispatchers played jeopardy over the radio. The first 3 crews to get 3 answers right got to go home early. Sadly I was not in one of those crews that won
 
I got dispatch to singhappy birthday to.my partner tues :-)
 
Our radio and station PA mikes were identical and next to one another.

Old GE's, just like the mike they use on "HOUSE, MD" in the MRI room set.
So, on-air chow calls etc., and "10-4" 's on the station's speakers (followed by raucous laughter), were common whenever a new guy went into the alarm room.

If I knew a guy was asleep (nothing on air for an hour) in Patrol 13 on the flightline, I'd just key up and say "10-4, 13".

"Uh, mrble mmmf, uh, 10-4 Control. What was that?".

"Nothing, 13. Go 10-8".
 
EMD Knowledge

Dispatch: Unit 7 be advised, need you to respond to 12345 Zaevel St.

Unit 7: Copy, dispatch. Please spell street name.

Dispatch: Street name as follows Z as in xylophone . . . ah, hell.

Later on, same shift, different call, over MDT unit:

"Respond to Mount St. Mary Hospital Ward 25-F, RM# 75 for D/C S/P Floural Acculison"

Unit 7: Copy your page, dispatch. Please advise, what exactly is wrong with the patient's flowers?

Dispatch: What?

Unit 7: Never mind, show us en route.
 
Heard this one the other day.

Dispatch: XYZ fire respond to 1234 main street, a man down, unconscious not breathing, with difficulty breathing.

Thought that one was kinda obvious, but hey you never know.
 
Dispatch : 419 respond code 2 XXXnursing home for a dislocated head
Me: 10-9 Chief complaint
Dispatch: Dislocated Head, possibly 1 day old
Me: 10-4 can you get verification on chief complaint
Dispatch : 10-4 will you need ALS?
Me: Uhm...I'm not even sure reported chief complaint is physically possible so wait until we get confirmation.
Dispatch: 10-4 standby
Partner to me off air: Well if that's true, that would explain why we aren't going in hot

Different day-
Dispatch: Unit 408 your call will be at xxx Parry Meter Drive
Unit 408: 10-4 Dispatch be advised that is Perimeter Drive
Dispatch: 10-4 Patient is being transported to office of Dr. Huggies
Unit 408: Can you spell last name of the Doctor?
Dispatch: 10-4 H-U-G-H-E-S
Unit 408: That would be Hughes dispatch. Dont hurt yourself.
 
Dispatch: Rescue 1 respond to 123 Address for a 8 month old pregnant female in renal falure needs an emergency C-Section
 
Over heard the other day:
Dispatch: Patient states history of seizures in the past and future....uhh... in the past.:wacko:
 
Dispatch- Yeah y'all need to be enroute to that um....... Yeah that place where I told you a minute ago....
 
Me and my partner while not on a call:


Us: Medic10 to county, we've got a loose horse. West bound on Main, uhh East bound on 3rd.
Dispatch: We'll send SO.
Us: Thats clear we'll try to catch it. (i go to catch it being as how ive had horses all of my life and i carry a hand held with me.)
My partner in the unit: Horse is now trotting back down main. Now south on Second. Hes running through the car wash. Uh oh, hes on the main rd, stopped at the light. Ok hes running again.
Supervisor: Are yall trying to be horse wranglers now?
Us: M10 were getting out of here, lost sight of the horse. Were not very good at horse wrangiling, and now i have chest pain.

Three thirty in the morning:

Tones drop after not running a call for entire shift so we are tucked away in bed. Tones drop 3 times as well as supervisor tones and no voice comming across the radio. Were in the truck lights are on trying to get over the radio to see what the call is about. M50 test page, test page only.....thats for your facebook comment..... Have a nice night boys!
 
Just heard this one

Unit #4: Dispatch. We still have not received any page regarding this pick up.
Dispatch: Copy, unit 4. The MDT unit is temporarily out of service. Would you like me to give it to you orally?
Unit #4: (through laughter) Yeah, dispatch, I'll take oral.
Dispatch: Unit 4, you guys suck.
Unit #4: Actually dispatch, I think we just covered that.
 
About 10:30 this morning

Dispatch: EM35 proceed to 1234 x street. 15yo male w/CC of PE.

EM35: Copy dispatch. Is there MD on scene that verified PE? (I am thinking pulmonary Embolism)

Dispatch: Standby

Dispatch: EM35 disregard call. PT's girlfriend made call and was concerned boyfriend was ill due to PE and explained PE stood for Premature Ejaculation that has occurred several times today.

EM35: Copy dispatch. Advise PT's girlfriend it is called ED and to tell PT think of grandma while engaged in the act.
 
Dispatch: blah blah blah... "Code 4"

Unit: Confirm code 4 or code 3?

Dispatch: Code 3
 
Dispatch: Medic one need you to respond to a transport at 458 blah blah blah drive.

Medic one: copy put us enroute

30 seconds go by

Dispatch: medic one whats your location?

Medic one: 2265 70 west

Dispatch: copy now get your asses out of mcdonalds and do something
 
crazy

I heard the dispatcher say, "attention EMS unit, I need you to come 10-8 for emergency traffic. Have a patient who thinks he has cancer, because he has been out in the sun all day and his hands, arms, and face are starting to swell."
 
I heard this in one of my first ride outs, just kind of an odd moment late at night after a busy busy day:

Dispatch: "Champion pre-alert...uh....someone I think..."
Us: please not us../
Dispatch: "Champion pre-alert (our town)"
*tones*
Dispatch: "Champion (####) please respond to a possible appendix rupture, patient stated her husband is complaining of very high abdominal pain, priority 1"
Us: "(####) champion received, en route."
*Halfway to scene out in the county*
Dispatch: "Champion (####) disregard 911 call. Pt. has apparently broken wind and his pains are...alleviated. Return to post."
Us: "Received"
 
Partner: 45
Dispatch: Go ahead 45
Partner: 45 is out at uhh... westwood no wait uh.. cedarwood wait uhh wherever we are
Dispatch:.... received. 45 are you drunk?
 
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