Dumbest thing heard on the radio

Dispatch: 135, what is your ETA to (nursing home facility)
135: 10 to 15 minutes.
Dispatch: Copy.. Unit 142, what is your ETA to (same nursing home facility)
142: 11 to 16 minutes.
 
Sasha said:
Dispatch: 135, what is your ETA to (nursing home facility)
135: 10 to 15 minutes.
Dispatch: Copy.. Unit 142, what is your ETA to (same nursing home facility)
142: 11 to 16 minutes.
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I've done that (:
 
Dispatcher: EMS please respond to xyz for female who fell off some rocks and has a head laceration...to the head :rolleyes:
 
TreySpooner65 said:
Is it possible to post audio file? I have a recording of a dispatch for PD to respond to an Osama sighting in Wallgreens.
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Don't tell me...he was picking up his dialysis gear!!!
 
A department near me started getting the audio from funny and odd calls and posting it... Some are pretty funny...


evfc160.com
scroll down and find audio...
 
"Medic 10, do you need additional responding units for patient transport?"
"Negative, county. No room in the inn."
 
"Engine XX and Medic XXX, on a 62 yom, conscious and breathing, complaining of frostbite, says his fingers look like vienna sausages."

"Dispatch, Engine XX... confirming fingers look like sausages?"

"Engine XX, that's affirm - fingers resemble sausages."
 
BLS crew was bringing in a pt to the ER. Their radio report sounded something like this:

"Medic 2 enroute with 56 y/o female, afraid to leave her house. History of hypochondria."

I think the whole ER cracked up laughing at that report. Definitely made my day!
 
After a Pretty busy day at my volunteer squad the dispatcher couldnt help it...
Dispatcher "Stand By for dispatch"
Dispatcher <Tones>
Dispatcher "Just Kidding.... for now"
Me "I really hope you don't run into me sometime soon"
 
engine giving disposition when clearing an electrical hazard call

"E17 to Marion, its gonna be leaves touching the branches, were complete."
While laughing...."recieved, complete, leaves touching the branches, complete at xxxx (time)"
"..... E17 marion, correction, line touching a branch......"

Imagaine the engine LT saying this half awake at like 0200
 
After leaving a Mexican restaurant.
Say the following is a heavy Mexican accent.

"EH! Chu forgot yo radio!"
 
I heard this the other coming back from a call, a good reason why people need to retire at some point.

Ambulance xxxx: *garble garble*
Central: Ambulance xxxx, can you repeat your transmittion.
Ambulance xxxx: more *garble garble*
Central: Ambulance xxxx, move the radio away from your mouth and try talking, it might be more productive.
Ambulance xxxx: Central, the radio was not too close to his mouth. He forgot to put his teeth back in. We are requesting medics for chest pain.
Central (laughing hysterically): Recieved. I hope they are back in now.
 
Unit 223333: What is the location of the patient?
Dispatch: You want to know where the patient is?
Unit 223333: Um. That would be helpful if you want us to transport.
 
Dispatch: Tones: Engine, Medic XXX; checkout slippery substance in intersection of AAA x BBB. (In January, during snowstorm). at 0230

Units after arrival: Dispatch be advised slippery substance is ICE!!!
 
I know a guy who is a full-time dispatcher for our county, and a part-time Paramedic. So, while he's on the rig, he will occasionally make farm animal noises. The on duty dispatcher offered to send us animal control, but of course, being a smart-@$$ he replied. That's okay, we'll call their office on Monday. COPY??

Good times. Good times. Other than that there are small things like mimicking our local corporate providers... (not mentioning names, but they are creeping into our county.) Anyways, they have this guy who incessantly feels the need to talk as slow as he can. "Centraallll this is ******** Alpha***.........we're, uhhhh in route to uhhhh **********."

*Names and locations changed to protect the identities of the innocent*
 
Dispach: scuffling and clicking noises follewed by a muffled "AGHHH! THis stupid radio isn't working... *undecipherable mumbling*"
Me: Um, dispatch, you radio is working fine, we can hear you."
Dispatch: Oh, *muffled laughing in background*, wow my face is turning really red right now..."
Me: Copy manditory coffee break.
 
*tones*
Dispatch: Company dispatching Town Paramedic 10, Town Fire, and Command to 99 White Ave, Apt. 10 for a standby.
Fire: Fire has 99 White Ave.
Supervisor: 1 has 99 White Ave.
Dispatch: Caller reports water leaking from ceiling and an odor.
Medics: Paramedic 10 has the overflowing toilet.
*5 minutes of silence from dispatch*

Of course, the supervisor and fire were cancelled, and the medics hung around for a while (which meant we had town coverage, the jerks) and then called up to report "No EMS required".
 
Heard another unit get dispatched to "intoxicated male subject, hitting himself in the head with a baseball bat."
 
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