In the meantime I went out and bought pepper spray that was recommended by an LEO and I have my father's old night stick from when he was an LEO.
Those are all good places to start, just remember that the use of force isn't a ladder of escalation but more like a pinwheel. You simply select the appropriate amount of force necessary to stop the threat. If you do choose to own a gun, be mindful that means you consider that the threat to YOU is potentially that of great bodily injury or death. You may only USE deadly force (of which firearms are but one means) if you are directly/imminently threatened with GBI/Deadly force. A "night stick" can easily be considered using deadly force because you easily can cause death with it.
For home protection, I actually do NOT recommend using a shotgun. They're cumbersome in tight quarters, you still have to aim them accurately, and have a relatively limited capacity. There's a reason why short-barrel rifles, subguns, and handguns are used by SWAT teams for entry into houses... In my house, my go-to is a handgun for those times I might have to go hunting for trouble in my house to keep my family safe because two of those three aren't available to me. I'd rather get into a safe area where I know my backstops/safe directions of fire and force trouble to find me.
If you choose to get a firearm, get good training in both legal matters and physical skill. Also, take your time to really get to know what firearms work best for you. Me? I choose a Glock 23 and a .45 cal 1911. I shoot them both equally effectively. Could I shoot a 9mm? Sure. They'll be easily adequate for the job with any decent self-defense load. For that matter, I'd be happy with a decent .38/.357 revolver. I could use my .22 for self defense, but my other firearms would be more reliable/effective at stopping the threat.
I once had my CCW. For me, while shooting someone is the last thing I ever want to do, I will do it defensively if it ever becomes necessary. That's a choice I made.
Getting a self defense firearm is an intensely personal choice that only you can make. What to choose is also very personal. Yes, most of my firearms are range-queens. Two are for self defense. I know them well and occasionally compete with them to keep certain skills sharp. We all have our bits of advice, but you must choose what will work best for you and your situation. The hardest thing isn't really the hardware... it's choosing to potentially end a life and getting high quality software (training) that will hopefully allow you to stop the threat without ever having to fire a shot.