I've been away...
This is one of the hardest times of my life right now. My adopted Mom is dying of cancer (lung, liver, brain, spinal). I flew out to OH last week to be here for my sisters and dad and essentially say goodbye.
Its one thing to intently watch someone breath when they are your patient, an entirely different thing if that person is your family. Holy crap this is hard. I am no stranger to death (both my biological parents are gone and most of my biological family), but this is just hell.
At this point she's barely awake, existing in a drug-induced haze of Roxanol, as she can't swallow her Morphine pills and Xanax, so the dosage of Rox has gone way up. She's been on 4 LPM O2 for at least a week (NC). There's a large tumor sitting on (or near, not entirely sure) her larynx and she can't talk anymore. I really hope this doesn't last much longer for her sake, and ours; its heartbreaking.
Hospice was called in Monday. They had a social worker stop by, the home health aide has been here twice, and a reflexologist came to work on her feet, which was cool. She was still lucid for that and really enjoyed it. She refused the aide on Friday. Now, who knows...
Anyway, I thought I'd pop in and say hi if anyone noticed my absence. Lots to read...
Trader joes here I come.
