Dumbest thing heard on the radio

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
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170
63
Had one out here just a few months ago; county radio animal control officer dispatched to check out a loose black dog in a back yard.
Officer marked on scene and stated he was going to check out the yard before making contact with the caller.

About 30 seconds later I heard on the radio heavy breathing/panting and officer yelling "That isn't a black dog it is a _________ BLACK BEAR". Turned out that as he walked around the corner of the house the bear was standing on his hind legs looking in a window; and it turned to look at him as he turned the corner, at about 3-4 feet away. Lady that called it in said that it was a 'funny looking black dog'.

Bear was watched by a few neighbors and the police as it went back into the mountains on its own.
 

LACoGurneyjockey

Forum Asst. Chief
778
436
63
Listening to the fire scanner,
-Patrol X, Engine X, can you make your way up the hill to the engine, the engine is not pumping water, and we need to pump water on the fire. So can you bring the patrol up here and hook it up so we can pump water. Because the engine is not pumping water at the moment and we need water on this fire.
-Uh, copy, put the fire out.
 

Ace 227

Forum Lieutenant
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0
0
Heard a call for a woman "with heavy vaginal bleeding. She also has a battery stuck in her vagina. She isn't sure if that caused the bleeding or not but its, uh... in there."
 

emt11

Forum Lieutenant
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0
16
Heard a call for a woman "with heavy vaginal bleeding. She also has a battery stuck in her vagina. She isn't sure if that caused the bleeding or not but its, uh... in there."
Well that couldn't possibly be the problem. Better get the rookie to check it out with the forceps and make sure he brings the size 7 fallopian tube.
 

Rin

Forum Captain
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61
28
Well that couldn't possibly be the problem. Better get the rookie to check it out with the forceps and make sure he brings the size 7 fallopian tube.

I always make sure to carry two with me at all times. Essential equipment, y' know
 

FiremanMike

EMS Coordinator
602
292
63
Dispatched for a man who burned his arm: BLS, with ALS on standby.

Driving down the street partner looking for the address: I picked up the radio and told dispatch that we were "on scene with a 2 story house with smoke coming from 2 windows start a box alarm". Dispatched responded "negative Amb ##, you are going to an injured person".

Picked up the mike again, told dispatch that "I was clear on that, but the injured persons house was on fire". Dispatch told me that we weren't going to a house fire.

Picked up mike again, but before I could key it Batt Chief got on the radio and told dispatch that we knew what we were dispatched to, but we were smart enough to know that the house was on fire: and to fill out the box. Dispatch responded to him: "Clear chief, but no one has called in a house fire, so we don't believe them; but are dispatching fire response on your orders"
You were much nicer on the radio than I would have been.. :)
 

emt11

Forum Lieutenant
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You were much nicer on the radio than I would have been.. :)
Makes you wonder... what kind of special (lots of explicits) doesn't believe that we can tell the difference between someone's house being on fire or not. Well maybe I don't believe you that we have a call next time.
 

emt11

Forum Lieutenant
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0
16
I always make sure to carry two with me at all times. Essential equipment, y' know
Now that is being prepared. Never know when your gonna need it and don't forget the blinker fluid, god help you if the sup. catches you without that.
 

Meursault

Organic Mechanic
759
35
28
"A-18, you're showing an emergency alert. Everything alright? No terrorists in the truck?"

*facepalm*
*remembers q4 roll call during the lockdown*
*double facepalm*
 

FiremanMike

EMS Coordinator
602
292
63
"A-18, you're showing an emergency alert. Everything alright? No terrorists in the truck?"

*facepalm*
*remembers q4 roll call during the lockdown*
*double facepalm*
More importantly it's nice to know that they don't take your safety seriously..

Sheesh, this thread is supposed to be funny, there's stuff on here that's damn infuriating...
 

Handsome Robb

Youngin'
Premium Member
9,736
1,169
113
More importantly it's nice to know that they don't take your safety seriously..



Sheesh, this thread is supposed to be funny, there's stuff on here that's damn infuriating...

Yea I agree. That's ridiculous. A 10-78 alarm here stops everything and starts the world towards the last known location of that unit, LE jurisdictional lines do not apply, until that unit comes up code 4 with their names and ID numbers.
 

emt11

Forum Lieutenant
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16
Yea I agree. That's ridiculous. A 10-78 alarm here stops everything and starts the world towards the last known location of that unit, LE jurisdictional lines do not apply, until that unit comes up code 4 with their names and ID numbers.
HA, our little orange(emergency) button makes for a nice scan on/off button on our 800 radios because someone got the brilliant idea to disable the emergency button and of course you can always key up and say you have an emergency which isn't always possible and then of course dispatch is going to want to know why before they start working on getting PD to us. At which I work at a private 3rd service with it's own dispatch center that is totally separate from the county 911 center and the few city 911 centers that have their own PD so it'll be at least an additional minute before anyone is even dispatched to you.
 

ambo000

Forum Ride Along
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0
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Dispatch: Unit 21 have you departed for hospital?

Unit 21: Negative, due to location we are having difficulty reversing the ambulance backwards....

.... well no sh*t .....reversing backwards... ooo wouldn't want to confuse that with reversing forwards!!!
 
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mycrofft

Still crazy but elsewhere
11,322
44
48
I just heard a medic clearing a patient refusal, against medical advice, with a doc on the radio. Best response ever... the doc said "well, it's not like you can knock them over the head and drag them in…"

Seriously. Best response ever.
T-Shirt!
 

mycrofft

Still crazy but elsewhere
11,322
44
48
A reserve deputy in Flagstaff (or was it Yuma?) of my later acquaintance was on the way home from a call and stopped for a beer. Two local big rowdies started pushing and shoving each other and breaking stuff, so he stepped in. Being only five-seven made him sort of unimpressive to look at (sorry, man!:cool:) but being an ex-Ranger with a tour in Vietnam made him decisive. He cuffed one guy, the other approached and he clubbed him with his handheld Motorola, then cuffed him and brought them in using his own car.

The mike button stuck on when he used it as a shillelagh so his modified Miranda injunction to them both, which was close to "I don't want to hear anything about it until we get to the station" and subsequent attempts to call in, were on the entire net. The battery died on the way in.

Sergeant calls him in. My co-worker says "Sorry for bringing them in without radioing first, the battery died.."

"…and you didn't want to hear anything about it until they were in, right?". (smiles).

Coworker: :huh:

As he walked out of the office the guys in the office stood and applauded.
 

ThunderMedic223

Forum Ride Along
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0
0
On the way back from a 2AM Psych Trip:

Me: Dispatch, L2 is out for fuel.
Dispatch: 10-4 L2 out for fuel at 0447.
Me: Thanks, Dispatch, I wasn't expecting a reply at this wonderful hour.
Dispatch: Neither was I.

About 10 Minutes Later:

Me: Dispatch, L2 will be in route to station.
Dispatch: 10-4 L2, be advised you have 4 bogeys 6 o'clock high bugging out.
Me: Copy bogeys, this is Ghostrider requesting fly-by.
Dispatch: Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full.
Me: Copy, pattern full, we will be arriving on Runway 17 North in approx. 45 seconds.
Dispatch: Roger, call the ball.
Me: L2 has the ball.
Dispatch: You're too low! Pull Up! PULL UP!
Me: Arrived at base safe and sound. Thank you for flying Psychiatric Airlines, hope you have a Wonderful day!
This is the best one I have found do far
 

Mjolnir

Forum Probie
16
0
0
During my giving over a notification to the hospital, I reported that a med was delivered "orally"...to which my partner may have muttered "that's what she said" a little too loud...
 

spnjsquad

Forum Crew Member
68
4
8
1) During a day crew someone from dispatch started playing the song "I just died in your arms tonight" for about a full two minutes.
2) One dispatcher forgot to turn the mic off and proceeded to say "F**K" a couple times, then once more when she realized she had said that into the radio.
 

Mjolnir

Forum Probie
16
0
0
1) During a day crew someone from dispatch started playing the song "I just died in your arms tonight" for about a full two minutes.
2) One dispatcher forgot to turn the mic off and proceeded to say "F**K" a couple times, then once more when she realized she had said that into the radio.
Lucky the FCC wasn't listening...I'm told that's a big no-no.

Sorta reminds of when Dispatch was giving us a extremely complicated address, and the radio kept messing up the transmission...after the third 10-5 (repeat last) from us, she said "Jesus Christ, just call the base. I'm not reading that again."
 

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