What's the dumbest thing you've said to a patient?

STXmedic said:
Not quite to a patient, but definitely poorly timed.

Got called for a psych. When we get there, PD comes up to me and says "I think she might be dead..." He leads us to the garage, where the patient was hanging by her neck- cold, livid, and stiff. So right away, and as apathetic as you can imagine, "Oh yeah, she's dead." Well PD was kind enough to not inform me that the sister was standing 5 feet away around the corner... I was berated by the sister for the next five minutes
Click to expand...
Eeeek.
 
"Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman. Damned glad to meet you!"

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk
 
STXmedic said:
Not quite to a patient, but definitely poorly timed.

Got called for a psych. When we get there, PD comes up to me and says "I think she might be dead..." He leads us to the garage, where the patient was hanging by her neck- cold, livid, and stiff. So right away, and as apathetic as you can imagine, "Oh yeah, she's dead." Well PD was kind enough to not inform me that the sister was standing 5 feet away around the corner... I was berated by the sister for the next five minutes
Click to expand...
Well I mean you didn't lie. o_O
 
While on my ride outs I had to give a patient report to the nurse at the hospital- "this is ---- she is 56... But.. But young in the heart" pt called because of chest pain a week after having a stent placed. I froze lol
 
STXmedic said:
Not quite to a patient, but definitely poorly timed.

Got called for a psych. When we get there, PD comes up to me and says "I think she might be dead..." He leads us to the garage, where the patient was hanging by her neck- cold, livid, and stiff. So right away, and as apathetic as you can imagine, "Oh yeah, she's dead." Well PD was kind enough to not inform me that the sister was standing 5 feet away around the corner... I was berated by the sister for the next five minutes
Click to expand...

Had a similar one. Went for a "psych evaluation" get on scene talk to PD and Fire who say "he's in the garage" I promptly opened the door to the garage from the kitchen to be greeted by the patient, hanging from the rafters. I promptly let out an "oh ****" and slammed the door. Scared the bejeebus out of me.

And his girlfriend was in the kitchen behind me.

I was less than pleased with PD and fire for not telling me what was going on on our way into the house.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Transported a pt down to the city. Half way through I ask her to sign my pcr. Me not realizing that she had both thumbs, ring fingers and pinkies wrapped up in gauze, handed her my stylus to sign. Followed by me having a mental "oh ****" moment. We had a good laugh over it but boy was that embarrassing..
 
pogoemt said:
A pt accidentally brushed my crotch while adjusting on the stretcher while in transit, first thing she does is give me a really big smirk and ask "did I touch it?" and without thinking I reply "at least buy me dinner first"
Click to expand...
That's actually quite the clever, and quick-witted remark. Way to "think on the fly"...
 
So...

Today dispatch sent one of my crews for a maternity/ pregnancy with abdominal pain.

Problem. They also said the patient was a male. Now, back home there's more flexibility in saying you're a dude or a chick and what pronoun to use. Here, not so much.
 
>First night shift
>its about 3:00am
>"M'am, on 1-10 worst pain how much is the scale? "
...
 
hogwiley said:
I was doing an IFT for a younger patient who recently became a quadriplegic after an accident a couple months prior, and was now on a vent. The pt mentioned they had recently been outside in the hospital courtyard for the first time since the accident.

I asked them if they enjoyed being out in the unusually warm weather we were having. The patient shot me a cold stare, and it instantly occurred to me they had no sensation in 90% of their body. After considering acknowledging that was a pretty stupid question, I decided to just keep my mouth shut.
Click to expand...

That is something I hadn't considered about their situation. Wow.
 
In the presence of a male patient whom had a lost "device" in the rectum:

To medical control. (after getting fed up with the radio going in and out to where they could only understand half the transmission.)
I finally got so ticked at the radio that I made a colorful reference to "The OompaLoompa's loosing something down at the Fudge packing division of Mr. Wonka's Chocolate Factory."

Two weeks without pay, but worth it. They got the radios fixed AND I'm still legendary for the comment.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top