the 100% directionless thread

It's been a long time since once of my friends and colleagues took their own life, so long that I haven't worried about it in a long time. Tonight that changed. No warning, the last person that I would have thought to suicide. I couldn't believe it when I got the call, I'm not sure I even know what to think now. Please reach out if you need help, too many people care about you that you don't even realize.
 
Peak said:
It's been a long time since once of my friends and colleagues took their own life, so long that I haven't worried about it in a long time. Tonight that changed. No warning, the last person that I would have thought to suicide. I couldn't believe it when I got the call, I'm not sure I even know what to think now. Please reach out if you need help, too many people care about you that you don't even realize.
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When it got bad for me, when I was younger, no way I'd reach out. I'd gotten to the point I literally thought I'd be doing people a favor. But, how do you catch people before they get to that point? So many we think as strong carry such a weight we'll never see.

Maybe it was due to the fact I'd seen the pain inflicted on others after my brother jumped that I didn't truly want to? That maybe it felt like nobody cared or that I was that bad. But the off chance someone cared, that they were rooting for me? Didn't want to be the person that crushed that hope.

Even now it feels like if I'm ever down or having a hard time, I shouldn't bother anyone. That it's my problem to bear and mine to solve. And that I shouldn't get anyone else involved. Afterall, I'll get through it. Nobody needs to see me like that and I'm strong enough. Just need time.

But recently there someone I've be talking to. A first responder. And honestly, it's been nice to be able to. Even if it's not critical or a breakdown but just someone I know cares. They'll listen. And at the same time, they'll talk to me.

The military showed some success on the battle buddy thing. Why don't services implement that? Or maybe just match up partners better?

A lot of partners want nothing to do with your problems or personal life, they just come to work and even chit-chatting is annoying to them. I dunno. Probably too complex to do in this setting.

I'm probably talking too much. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
I finally found magnetic cabinet locks that arent priced ridiculous. My 2 year old is gonna be angry when she gets up tomorrow.
 
Prosecutor called me, invited me on the hearing for my cousin.

I got on for a minute but had to leave because we got a call.

My grandma is now testifying on my cousin's behalf. She perjured herself saying he's never been violent and she's not scared of him.

I texted her saying she needs to tell the truth and we care about her and don't want to see her hurt or killed. That we are here for her.

She called my father, absolutely livid about my involvement in the case. She was furious at me. My dad told her she's lost her mind. He said if that's what she's going to be towards me, he wants nothing to do with her.

He told her to take him off the will and that he won't be her executor anymore and he even fired her from his company. She did the books.

At some point she texted me saying to stay out of her life.

And I am just in tears. Wrapped up our COVID call and my partner had to drive because I just can't right now.

And I don't even know what to do because there's not much I can do. If she was a fraction as angry as she was towards me trying to protect her as she was towards someone abusing her, we would have never gotten this far.

Am I wrong to intervene or to try?

My little cousin who lives with them and anyone my older cousin comes in contact with us subject to his abuse.

I don't even know what to do.
 
DragonClaw said:
Prosecutor called me, invited me on the hearing for my cousin.

I got on for a minute but had to leave because we got a call.

My grandma is now testifying on my cousin's behalf. She perjured herself saying he's never been violent and she's not scared of him.

I texted her saying she needs to tell the truth and we care about her and don't want to see her hurt or killed. That we are here for her.

She called my father, absolutely livid about my involvement in the case. She was furious at me. My dad told her she's lost her mind. He said if that's what she's going to be towards me, he wants nothing to do with her.

He told her to take him off the will and that he won't be her executor anymore and he even fired her from his company. She did the books.

At some point she texted me saying to stay out of her life.

And I am just in tears. Wrapped up our COVID call and my partner had to drive because I just can't right now.

And I don't even know what to do because there's not much I can do. If she was a fraction as angry as she was towards me trying to protect her as she was towards someone abusing her, we would have never gotten this far.

Am I wrong to intervene or to try?

My little cousin who lives with them and anyone my older cousin comes in contact with us subject to his abuse.

I don't even know what to do.
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This is something that no one but you can answer for yourself. It sucks as an answer, but it is the truth.

Even though you have to find your own answer, you are NOT alone. You have a family support system that you need to use, because it affects them too. About the only thing we can do for you here is sometimes the most important thing that can be done....letting you vent.

I had a similar situation in my life, although not to the extent that yours is. It took me a while to realize that the first question I had to answer was the hardest and most uncomfortable one. Who are you doing it for, you or them? The real answer to that question took some serious soul searching.
 
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ffemt8978 said:
This is something that no one but you can answer for yourself. It sucks as an answer, but it is the truth.

Even though you have to find your own answer, you are NOT alone. You have a family support system that you need to use, because it affects them too. About the only thing we can do for you here is sometimes the most important thing that can be done....letting you vent.

I had a similar situation in my life, although not to the extent that yours is. It took me a while to realize that the first question I had to answer was the hardest and most uncomfortable one. Who are you doing it for, you or them? The real answer to that question took some serious soul searching.
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She is an 80 year old woman who was widowed decades ago by an abusive man.

She's going senile.

And I fully expect for my cousin to kill her if he stays free when he should be going to prison.

And it feels like I'm not doing enough. That I need to personally do something.

My 15 year old cousin whose only male role model has been abusive (save one). His father murdered his mother and dumped gasoline on him when he was a baby. He's never had it great and he's going down the same path of destruction.

The arresting officer pleaded with her to sign the papers once. She refused. The second time she agreed. Now she's trying to save my cousin from his own actions.

I just don't know.

It's not just a willing adult that's bring subject to him. It's everyone. And he is dangerous.

Judge set bond at 10K for both felonies. So my grandma can and probably will scrape up 2K to get him out.

I tried to call her, just to hear me out. That I just want her safe. And .. my number is blocked.

I feel lost.

I'm not a drinker or a smoker but I'll be darned if I hadn't thought of both. I just want to scream.
 
I just bought a propane torch and some steel to start knife making. Hopefully, my first one isnt a paperweight.
 
DragonClaw said:
Partner and I want to go on a skiing/hiking trip. Can you ski all year long? Without going too far north like Maine, NY, ND etc where are good spots? Do people ski in the Appalachian and Smokies or just really the rockies? Suggestions?
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Definitely no where in the East, if you are talking about summer skiing. I think a place or two in the Pacific NW maybe. Best bet is South America or barring that, British Columbia, CA.
 
Nothing worth skiing in North America that late in the season. Anything out there is just ice.
 
NomadicMedic said:
Ignoring content from some users made this bearable again. Good to see you all again. (unless you're one that I blocked)
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That is a feature that often gets overlooked.
 
Laid most of the remaining flooring in the kitchen. Maybe another half days worth of work laying whats left and trim work, and another day on the kitchen island and I'll be done till the countertop guys do their thing.

So ready to be done with this remodel.
 
DragonClaw said:
So you CAN'T ski all year long?! Even in CO?
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Ive been backpacking at +/- 12,000 feet with no snow on the ground. Late fall or early winter is going to be the best time.
 
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