the 100% directionless thread

My osteochondrosis tortures me a bit. -_- Does anyone have a good joke for me? I need urgently something to laugh.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=316AzLYfAzw[/YOUTUBE]
 
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
 
Alright, alright. Actually, that's all I got.
 
DEmedic said:
Ground beef.

She said a GOOD joke. :)
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Try this one:

The old couple was sitting in Church,listening to the sermon. Suddenly she leans over,gently grabs his arm,and whispers in his ear. "Honey,I just farted quietly,what should I do"?
"Put a new battery in your hearing aid" he said.
 
So I decided to get out my laptop that I haven't used in a long time. The charger is extremely hot to the touch and its slower than a turtle. I think its time to upgrade. Really want a Mac Book but I don't have $1,500 laying around the house to use :sad:
 
Bad joke from the Seventies?

The old couple were becoming weekly regulars taking a trip with the wheelchair van from their nursing home to the medical building and back that afternoon. One day, noting that the husband didn't actually use a wheelchair at the home, the attendant had to ask them what was wrong.

"Oh, nothing. Chester and I are gong to the sex therapist".

"Sex therapist? At your age?".

(Blushing)"Well, yes. The home won't let us share a room, we can't afford a taxi to a motel room, but Medicare covers this from door to door. Let's not be late for the appointment, please?".
 
Just a "good on you" to EMTLIFE-ers

I was thinking of all I've learned was not true from "getting into it" here.

  • The xyphoid process actually isn't exceptionally dangerous, if at all, during CPR.
  • Indiscriminate use of long spine boards is harmful and can be dangerous to the patient.
  • Prehospital oxygen isn't harmless.
  • Prehospital EMS workers are far, far more likely to die from a work-related traffic accident than a work-related assault.
  • Medical helicopter rides within a certain radius take longer to arrive and are nowhere near as safe as ground transport.
  • Local appearances here to the contrary, non-government ambulance workers are not predominantly female.
  • Wide-open IV's of crystaloids to boost blood pressure/volume in trauma is not a panacea.
  • Not all prehospital EMS workers are nascent losers, boozers, and sad-sacks, some (many) are smart, looking forwards and have professional concerns same as in-house staff.

Keep up the good work everyone.;)
 
What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms on your front deck?

Matt.

On the wall?

Art.

In your mailbox?

Bill.

Who is the girl with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen.


Yes, I'm going to hell.
 
albertaEMS said:
What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms on your front deck?

Matt.

On the wall?

Art.

In your mailbox?

Bill.

Who is the girl with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen.


Yes, I'm going to hell.
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What do you call a guy who lost his legs below the knee?

Neil

What do you call a guy being grilled (by the police)?

Frank

And his sister?

Patty

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs floating in a pool?

Bob
 
DesertEMT66 said:
So I decided to get out my laptop that I haven't used in a long time. The charger is extremely hot to the touch and its slower than a turtle. I think its time to upgrade. Really want a Mac Book but I don't have $1,500 laying around the house to use :sad:
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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009FX5DDW/ref=oh_details_o08_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
If you can find one of these, I really recommend it. I bought mine on sale for $500 and it's great. Fantastic specs for the price (or the price it was).
Windows 8 is a little tricky at first, but I love it now.
 
9D4 said:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009FX5DDW/ref=oh_details_o08_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
If you can find one of these, I really recommend it. I bought mine on sale for $500 and it's great. Fantastic specs for the price (or the price it was).
Windows 8 is a little tricky at first, but I love it now.
Click to expand...

Im thinking I'm probably gonna go with something around the 13-15 inch screen. I'm hoping to stay away from Windows 8. I already have an iPad (windows 8 looks better set up for table use). I just need something a little smaller and lighter that I can do research and write papers with. I don't play any PC games so graphics aren't a huge issue.

There are some pretty nice ones (for what I need) in the $500 range. They also have a backlit keyboard which is really nice.
 
DesertEMT66 said:
Im thinking I'm probably gonna go with something around the 13-15 inch screen. I'm hoping to stay away from Windows 8. I already have an iPad (windows 8 looks better set up for table use). I just need something a little smaller and lighter that I can do research and write papers with. I don't play any PC games so graphics aren't a huge issue.

There are some pretty nice ones (for what I need) in the $500 range. They also have a backlit keyboard which is really nice.
Click to expand...
Have you looked at chromebooks? they're similar to netbooks, but better processors and a little bit more high end. pretty cheap, too
 
9D4 said:
Have you looked at chromebooks? they're similar to netbooks, but better processors and a little bit more high end. pretty cheap, too
Click to expand...

Just clicked the link for them haha
 
MrJones said:
Nothing like getting pulled out of bed at 3:30 AM for an emergent SOB (get your mind out of the gutter: shortness of breath, not son of a :censored::censored:) only to arrive and have the patient decide to refuse treatment/transport. And justifiably so - there was nothing wrong w/ said patient.

:angry:
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Sounds like a pretty standard 911 call...

I love coming home from work, hearing a shotgun go off next door then having my neighbor from that house, high as a kite, come in my yard and start accusing my roommate...he decided he wasn't going to win and took off running when I walked out in my work uniform.

I love having to talk to the 5-0 when I'm off duty, not.

One more reason to finish saving for my Glock 23 :D
 
DesertEMT66 said:
Im thinking I'm probably gonna go with something around the 13-15 inch screen. I'm hoping to stay away from Windows 8. I already have an iPad (windows 8 looks better set up for table use). I just need something a little smaller and lighter that I can do research and write papers with. I don't play any PC games so graphics aren't a huge issue.

There are some pretty nice ones (for what I need) in the $500 range. They also have a backlit keyboard which is really nice.
Click to expand...
demotivational-posters-history-aol-vs-windows-8.jpg
 
Hey, Windows 8 is good. Super fast and streamlined. The UI just isn't very friendly at first. lol
 
I second the chromebook.

Also, I downloaded Star Wars The Old Republic now that it's free to play. I've made a huge mistake
 
adamjh3 said:
I second the chromebook.

Also, I downloaded Star Wars The Old Republic now that it's free to play. I've made a huge mistake
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Right? I found out Runescape went back to '07 servers. I'm going to be addicted again... lol. I feel so nerdy again :(
 
9D4 said:
Right? I found out Runescape went back to '07 servers. I'm going to be addicted again... lol. I feel so nerdy again :(
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I'll never go back. I think it's sad how much JaGEx has changed.
 
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