Relationships in EMS

[mycrofft]

Generally it's not best to date or marry a co-worker.

Having a crush...you will have plenty of crushes. Crushes are like salsa, they liven things up, but you don't take a spoon and start slurping it down.

It is a very poor idea, especially while he is responsible for your employment. You will never know how good or bad you really are, he will be under suspicions of either firing you or keeping you based on the temperature of your relationship, and it will breed discontent and jealousy among other workers. It is a very poor idea for him too, as it throws open the door for sexual harassment issues.

Give it a year. Find someone who is not engaged in police or fire for reinforcement of the bigger picture, not narrowly focussed upon life death dirtbags and co-workers.

 

[saskgirl]

My husband and I are co-workers. We started dating, I broke up with him as I saw it was a bad idea that co-workers date, it got real ugly for about a year and a half and somehow through it all we ended up back together and within 8 months we were married.
We aren't always on call together and we make sure we still do some seperate activites, but I find that of all my partners he and I work best together and always have even in the ugly period.
I guess it depends on the 2 people...

 

[the_negro_puppy]

Don't come a knockin' when the Ambulance is a rockin' :lol:

 

[46Young]

IMO, relationships and the workplace do not mix. A good department will have policies in place that seperate the involved parties. In my county, anyone who's dating cannot work in the same battalion as their partner if they work on the same shift.

When a couple is going through a time of conflict with each other, it can easily migrate into the workplace, particularly if they've split up. Also, if someone has a workplace issue with one of the parties, then their partner may also get involved where it should be none of their business. The issues with nepotism are obvious as well. In several different departments, I've seen wives and girlfriends of supervisors get preferential treatment, choice assignments, jumping others in line for their pick of schedule, etc. There's too much drama involved with dating public service co-workers, drama that other members of service should not be made to bear witness to.

I'll say what others have said - if you have a thing for someone in uniform, then marry a cop or a firefighter. They have a more stable career, typically with better benefits and career advancement opportunities than a relatively dead-end job like EMS does. You know the hours we keep, working extended schedules and a lot of OT just to have a decent income. A cop or a FF with a spouse that's a medic or a nurse is ideal, since they can work per diem around childcare and still earn a decent check.

Edit: early on, when you're initially infatuated with the person, you may want to be with them as much as possible, so seeing them at work can seem desireable at first. But, pretty soon that wears off, and you'll want your space. If you get stuck with someone who is jealous and insecure, you'll have to deal with them checking up on you, knowing about every person you talk to at work and such. When it gets real bad, you'll have to explain why you got off at 2315 hrs, but didn't answer your phone for 1/2 hour afterward, why you didn't go right home, etc. You can potentially look forward to all that teeny bopper immature nonsense, or maybe you'll do that to your partner instead, IDK.

 

[DesertMedic66]

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If you break up work can become hostile or awkward. And I second what everyone else said. Check your company's policies. For my company you can date or be married to a co-worker but you will not work on the same unit as them, you can not date a supervisor.

 

[Impulse]

Dating a co-worker is a bad idea, regardless of what profession.

 

[epipusher]

My wife of over 6 years now was my emt partner. We worked together for about 3 years while married. She is an RN now, but it worked out just fine for us.

 

[MonkeySquasher]

Ever heard the terms, 'don't crap where you eat', or 'don't fish off the company pier'? Same principle applies. I know of a few couples that have worked out, but on the whole, it seems to be determined by the two people involved, and generally ends poorly for all involved. Because when you date them, if they have ex's within the company, it complicates things more. Then if you have ex's in the company... It snowballs.

MY advice is, if you really do like this guy, then don't date him yet. Be friends, maybe even partners, for awhile. Make SURE that this will work, before it even starts. Like others have said, you only get to date once within the company, that's your freebee. Every time after that, you become more and more labeled.

There's plenty of people from plenty of places that you are capable of dating, but there's only one place you get your paycheck from. Don't ever let one jeopardize the other.

 

[mycrofft]

Monkey, that was delicately put!

 

[281mustang]

I'm surprised to hear how many have reported positive experiences.

I'll still choose to stick to the 'don't stick your pen in company ink' rule, personally.

 

[workworkwork]

apparently the company i work for is famous for people hooking up, and tying the knot.

i was hanging out with a girl for a little while, but only because i knew she was moving to the other side of the globe in two months. It was kind of awkward though, we never defined anything but she told a lot of people we were dating and people I had never even met would ask me every now and then "ohh hows 'so and so?' " she didn't have the greatest rep and it had its effects when people dealt with me.

if something ends badly I think it will create a negative atmosphere in any job, though when push comes to shove if both of you know what your doing, in an emergent situation feelings might be pushed aside easier than you'd think.

that being said, if anyone dates around their job too much, you might be looked at as sleazy and or easy. <_<

 

[TatuICU]

There are exceptions to every rule but generally speaking, it is a horrific idea. Do you really want to date someone f*cked up enough to do this for a living?

 

[akflightmedic]

Never eat where you poop or poop where you eat.