Relationships in EMS

EMTmichelle

Forum Ride Along
1
0
0
Hi everyone, I'm a new member of a squad. I'm a female in a mostly male dominated career. I feel that it wouldn't be unlikely if I were to start dating someone in my squad. I hear that that is the worst thing to do and I don't understand why. We are adults, if we break up, then we just have to suck it up and deal with it.

Also, I have a crush on my Probationary Officer and I think he has a crush on me but knows he can't do anything about it yet. Once I become certified EMT by the state, can him and I start dating? We are both adults in our early 20's, so I don't see what the big deal would be.
 

Martyn

Forum Asst. Chief
654
68
28
Ouch, a lot of companies/departments have policies in place against this sort of thing, be careful :wub:
 

EMT John

Forum Crew Member
74
1
0
No matter what any of us say it sounds like you have your mind made up. It is honestly very rare that any good comes of this. I understand your both adults but when relationships and sex get involved then all rationality goes out the window and our primal instincts come out.

I would read over your dept.'s polices and procedures very carefully before making anything of all this. If you don't follow them to a T you can really screw your and his career. Seen it way to many times.

Personally my biggest concern would be are you going to be able to seperat your personal relationship from work relationship? There are a lot of factors that come into play with that, primarily safety.
 

bigbaldguy

Former medic seven years 911 service in houston
4,043
42
48
Generally it's a bad idea but if it's gonna happen and it always does make sure and discuss it with the other person as an adult and make it clear that if it doesn't work out then no hard feelings. This doesn't always work but in some cases it does. You may also have to speak with your human resources person if you want to keep the whole thing above board. Now all that said I have never personally see this kind of relationship work but I haven't seen very many relationships work in general.
 

DrParasite

The fire extinguisher is not just for show
6,196
2,052
113
do not, i repeat, do not date within your agency. it rarely ends well.

date a cop. date a FF. date an EMT from another agency. date a dispatcher. but do not, i repeat do not, date within your agency.

While many people will try to convince you not to do it, like many of us who were told the same thing and found our the hard way by ignoring the advice of people who had done it before, if you do, don't be surprised if it blows up in your face.
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
7,667
11
0
Four of our crews are engaged to their partners.

Sometimes it works.
 

EMT John

Forum Crew Member
74
1
0
Four of our crews are engaged to their partners.

Sometimes it works.

Wow... Are your crews apart of the love boat? That's pretty rare to have that.

I'm not saying it won't work out and for your sake I hope it does. Best of luck.
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
7,667
11
0
Wow... Are your crews apart of the love boat? That's pretty rare to have that.

I'm not saying it won't work out and for your sake I hope it does. Best of luck.

Nope they just really click. We also have three pregnant women.

I swear this crap is in the water.
 

Handsome Robb

Youngin'
Premium Member
9,736
1,173
113
We have quite a few people who are married or dating at the agency I work at. Some are in different departments, some are in the same, they rarely work on the same truck though.

It can work as long as you are both adults about it.

Don't try to hide it from your agency. Eventually someone will find out and if you didn't go through the proper channels that could end well, especially if they have a policy about it and most do.
 

fast65

Doogie Howser FP-C
2,664
2
38
I used to have a supervisor who was married to my partner, and even though he wasn't her supervisor, she still called him yelling about things that upset her during the workday...seemed to cause quite a bit of conflict among the company. That being said, I do know of another married couple who I work with that have no problems keeping their married life separate from their work life, you just have to be careful.
 

DrParasite

The fire extinguisher is not just for show
6,196
2,052
113
Nope they just really click. We also have three pregnant women.
Probably because they are sharing the same toilet seat... I hear that happens, when one uses it, they get pregnant and then it spreads.

also, are the three pregnant women 3 out of 4 of the engaged couples?
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
7,667
11
0
Probably because they are sharing the same toilet seat... I hear that happens, when one uses it, they get pregnant and then it spreads.

also, are the three pregnant women 3 out of 4 of the engaged couples?

One of them is.
 

Hunter

Forum Asst. Chief
772
1
18
We have a couple who met in our agency are now engaged, another who both used to be medics and are married. That being said we also USED to have a couple who went through a pretty rough break up and unfortunately are no longer our co workers.
 

Akulahawk

EMT-P/ED RN
Community Leader
4,923
1,321
113
My advice is to NOT date within the company. While sometimes it works, usually it doesn't and if one part of the couple is in a supervisory role... some very bad things can come out of that relationship. If/when the relationship ends, it can become very, very uncomfortable for both people. If the person you're crushing on is, in effect, your preceptor, that can have some very dangerous (to your cert) issues that can pop-up. You or your preceptor do NOT want to be put under a microscope because you might have gotten a pass on your field time that you might not otherwise have gotten simply because of some kind of "favor" if you know what I mean...

While it does work sometimes, Just Don't Do It.

If you have serial relationships... that can look worse and you don't want that reputation.
 

Tigger

Dodges Pucks
Community Leader
7,844
2,794
113
There are almost no women within three years of me at the ambulance company I work at, so that's out.

With the sports medicine job it's an unspoken rule to not be involved with any coworkers and it's generally followed. We are also prohibited from entering into a relationship with any athlete on the team we are assigned to, which is fine since I work for men's hockey. That's not great for my female corworkers though, and people have been fired or demoted in the past for failure to follow this.

Personally I spend too much time at work and I would not want to ruin that time by having to deal with the result of a bad breakup every day.
 

Pavehawk

Forum Lieutenant
139
0
16
do not, i repeat, do not date within your agency. it rarely ends well.

I second this..I started dating a gal I worked with and now have been stuck with her for 30 years :) hehehehe

Seriously though the pros and cons can be weighed for days and debated for longer, in the end follow your department policy, if any, and your use you best jundgement. Good luck.
 

britmedic

Forum Probie
17
0
0
We have a large service over here. Relationships, marriages and break ups are rife. It makes your relationship very public which in turn puts it under a constant microscope. This puts a lot of strain on you. I've seen some happy relationships but not many. I have seen lots and lots of breakups and I have to say that they rarely end well.
 

abckidsmom

Dances with Patients
3,380
5
36
I married mine. Twelve years and 5 kids later, I'm fairly satisfied. :)

Take this as fair warning: once you start the second relationship, you are labeled. It is not pretty, to be boxed into the role of being "that girl".
 

Milla3P

Forum Lieutenant
249
21
18
I work at 3 agencies with my fiancée, a lot of the time we're partners. We're actually getting married in 2 days, but we've been friends for over 10 years and she got in the field because she was interested in what I did about 3 years ago. Now she's a better medic than I am (not like that's hard).

BUT I've seen more than enough of these relationships go bad. What's worse is the guy I saw leave his wife for his partner only to have the girl go back to her old boyfriend as the guy not have a wife.

Don't date your FTO just because he's cute, you don't know his reputation. Excuse the expression, but there are a lot of guys who jump on the fresh "sweet young thing" who walk through the door. It could put a bad taste in your mouth of the entire field.

Also, beware of relationship advice off the Internet.
 

medichopeful

Flight RN/Paramedic
1,863
255
83
I met my girlfriend in EMT class, and we worked together a few times with my University EMS club, and let me say this: don't do it or get involved with coworkers!
 
Top