Passed school, just passed the state... but there is no joy, eagerness, or excitement

[jedirye]

Hello all,
I need some seasoned vets to help me out here. As the subject states, I passed school easily and also the state test, but am not eager to work out in the field as a paramedic. Why go through all the trouble then? I love the concept I guess. The second I started paramedic school I knew this would be an issue. I want to work out in the field but am just scared to death. I work for a service where our trucks are an EMT and Paramedic, no other help (not even fire, unless you've got an echo level call). It is a service where it makes a paramedic, new or not, stand on their own two feet, which in theory is great. I realize I just need to jump out there, but am just scared to death. I am currently taking some college classes and am waiting to go on provisional (work on a truck as a third, training to be a real live medic) until they are complete for this semester. Will this fear ever leave? I love my job now with all the "cool calls" because when it comes down to it, it's really all my partner's responsibility (our protocols are very strict and almost everything is the medic's call, with the exception of isolated extremity injury). Regardless, when I step up to the plate it is going to be completely different and I'm sure I will fear every call I get. Have I learned enough? Have I forgotten something I shouldn't have? Will I be able to handle what is thrown at me? I don't want to head into work dreading my job, and I've been told it'll be like that for the first year. I'm moderately young, so a YEAR is a long time, and with me probably more. Maybe forever? I wonder if I'll ever get to that point where I'll have confidence in my skills and just roll with the punches. Advice?

-rye

 

[Ridryder911]

It is normal to have fears but to question one self so much there is a problem. Apparently, it was not very hard or you did not sacrifice enough otherwise you would be jumping up and down to get out there. Also, did you not realize this somewhere during your hundreds of hours of clinicals?

Throwing a newbie in the street is stupid! It never made sense, still doesn't. You only ruin good potential employees and administration is a fool as risking liabilities and loosing employees.

My suggestion is make a decision. Be a medic or not. If possible, go to another EMS. Not all are like that. Majority that are considered reputable have a field program orientation program. There is no reason to increase stage shock (again which is normal) as well as to place patients in danger.

R/r 911

 

[Epi-do]

I am right there with you, rye. I have been precepting for 2 1/2 - 3 weeks now (I just can't seem to catch an ALS run.) and have completed 6 of the minimum 10 precepted runs required. Unless I really botch something in the next 4 runs, I will be "the medic". I don't think you would be normal if you weren't scared/nervous. Medic class puts alot of information into you head to give you a good foundation. It's up to you to make sense of it and continue to add to that information in the future.

I too am aprehensive about being on the truck as the lone medic. I know I have plenty of good medics around me to bounce ideas off of, even if it isn't until after the run is over. Like you, I have heard that it will take about a year to feel "comfortable" (for lack of a better word coming to mind at the moment) in my new role as a medic. I am certain that there will be runs where I feel like I am in over my head, but figure as long as I can keep my cool and think about what I see and the patient is telling me, I will get through it.

Feel free to shoot me a PM anytime you want to vent about how you are feeling while settling into your new role. We can compare notes and comisserate together in our insecurities.

 

[mycrofft]

Third that. Good on you!

Also, consider that you may be having "honeymoon blues". Have faith in yourself to find the correct niche and to pipe up and say "I do not think I am the person for that yet".

 

[Onceamedic]

Hey there... I just got off a 72 hour shift so if this is a little disjointed, forgive me. I am a brand new baby paramedic. I was given about 12 - 14 shifts with different preceptors each time and then thrown out on my own. I was scared s***less. I have now run about 50 calls as the girl in charge. I am feeling pretty good right now. It's amazing how fast things worked for me but I have always been a quick study. I will still approach each call with that heightened level of awareness (OK - call a spade a spade - FEAR) as long as it is useful to me - keeps me from becoming complacent and makes me strive to do the best possible job on each contact. I won't pretend I wasn't afraid. What really really helps is a supervisor that really has got my back - discussing anything I need to talk about and coming along on any call I request (or he thinks might be difficult). So far, he's only been on 3 or 4 and hasn't felt the need to intervene - that's a real confidence booster as well. I know how hard I worked in school and clinicals. I know that I was successful in school and clinicals. I never read a single page of text or listened to a single lecture or watched a single procedure without knowing that I needed to do the right thing when there was a real live patient in front of me - that someday, someone's life and well being was in my hands.

Bottom line - some fear is normal and needs to be there. The level of fear you describe is worth listening to. DO NOT go out there on your own, however you need to do it, until you are confident that you can handle it. It's not worth it to ruin a patient's life or your own.

Good luck.

 

[el Murpharino]

The sink or swim method is ok...if you're putting together a model car or learning to ride a bike. Your agency is playing a dangerous game letting green medics on their own. There are nuances that you just can't learn in class. You will be thrown in situations where you will have to think outside the box, and you're having a hard enough time thinking inside the box.

Did you not have to do 'X' hours being the paramedic in charge during your ride time? I know first-hand that preceptors that don't critique students and newer medics are doing more harm than good by not pointing out where they can improve - heck, we all can improve in some way. Your paramedic program is doing the medic students there a disservice by signing them off if they haven't been able to run calls on their own to the satisfaction of their preceptors and instructors.

Be self critical of yourself. Rethink your calls and think about what you could have done differently to make the call run smoother...think about what went well and build on that. I'm sure it's just a mental hurdle you need to get over - after which you should be fine. Don't let them see you sweat.

 

[MedicAngel]

One thing I have learned is after a call I talk it over with my crew and or driver, we bounce off the good and if so, the bad or what we could of done better on that particular run. Helps us better communicate and think things through.

I know that coming out of this enhanced course for EMT's, were told that we are now going to be new ALS providers and were it..no more calling for the medic or the paramedic, we can do it. Does that scare me? Sure does..but I am sure like when I was a new basic...after a few runs and then let to fly I will know what to do and act accordingly.

 

[Outbac1]

I think a little nervousness is a good thing. Helps keep a person grounded. I know the first time I'm on a truck as the ALS provider or the first call I get that is really serious I'm going to be plenty nervous. However between now and then I have 350 hrs of hospital clinicals to do and 42 x 12 hr shifts as third medic to do. As 3rd I'm expected to run every call and transfer we do. My precepter is there to guide me if they think I need it. Personally I am glad I have several years and thousands of patient contacts behind me to draw experience from.

Make the best from your past experience and the experience you will get when you are a 3rd. Hopefully there are several good medics at your service you can talk to and will help you as you ask for it. If you train hard and seriously you will react as per your training.

How much experience as a basic do you have? Do you have any partnered with a medic? How much time as a 3rd do you have to do?

 

[BossyCow]

I can pretty much guarantee that your fears are not going to go away while you sit on the sidelines waiting for it to happen. The only way to counteract the anxiety is by running calls and proving to yourself that you do know what you are doing. With time, it will fade.

If the anxiety is so severe that it is preventing you from doing the job you trained for, then you need to either get some professional help with the anxiety issues or decide that this job is too far outside the boundaries of your comfort zone and find some other line of work.

 

[tydek07]

I think/now we were all kind of scared at first. Its a normal feeling to have, but "there is no joy, eagerness, or excitement" makes me wonder.

Even though I was scared, I still was excited to go to work, as I still am. So far I have never once woke up and been like "god, work... maybe i should call in sick".

 

[FF-EMT Diver]

You definetly need to figure out why you're not "excited" about being where you have worked so hard to get and you need to get some confidence in your abilities to do your job, On your calls do you ever catch yourself out there in left field or do you find yourself generally inline with the seasoned medic, Go ahead and tell your partner when you do third ride along that you want to be in charge and make the calls and for he/she to tell you honestly what is right/wrong with your assesment/treatment of the Pt's and as bossy cow said when you get your feet wet it'll go away.

 

[lizhiniatsos]

I know the kind of nervousness, doubt and fear you're feeling....sometimes when all of 'that' is going on it's a little hard to feel excited and eager....but give yourself a chance...it'll only get better with time and experience. You passed your exams...you were passed by your preceptor....trust that a little~ you can't learn to swim by sitting on the shore. Sometimes, in the beginning, the only think that kept me going forward was knowing I would never be able to be happy working in the back as an EMT again....I would always want to do something more now that I had a beginning understanding of what needed to be done. The fact that you care enough about being great at your job to worry about it is a great tool if you learn to utilize it in a positive way ~
Good luck!

 

[johnrsemt]

I have been a cleared medic for almost 4 years now; on my third service (moved states in June). I still get nervous on some runs.
yesterday was nervous on a ATV crash, approx 20 min from our base, we were closest by 15 min by ground and beat the bird by 10 min and they were requested the same time that we marked transporting.
pt had poss hip injury; medic has knee injury (never fall out of ambo as you are unloading pt to transfer to air crew; IT HURTS).
like I said still nervous on some runs,