emt's on a fire path: girlfriend ultimatum

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DUMP HER!:rolleyes: and if her/parents house catches on fire let it burn.....:blush:....But seriously she IS NOT THE ONE especically if she not willing to understand or accept that a career in EMS/FIRE is your calling and be your support, let her go now before two kids, a house and a dog become apart of the mix....


oneluv79:)
 
Trust me, it's better to be in an imperfect relationship than to be alone.
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I disagree with this statement...I have been much happier alone then in a relationship that isn't healthy.
 
It's just a stupid job, it is not a calling, it is not some great hero maker, it's a low paying job. If you truly love her you will find another job, one that actually will support a family and stay with her. If she is just a place of comfort then do her a favor and move on.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
46Young, also consider the possibility that there may not be another female in his life again. I know, he's young, and I'm too young to be this cynical, but relationships don't just fall out of the sky and no relationship is storybook. That old "you'll meet somebody else" doesn't ring true for everyone. I say forget firefighting. I wanted to be a firefighter once too, but then I outgrew it about the time I outgrew wanting to be an astronaut. Take whatever chance for happiness you get. Trust me, it's better to be in an imperfect relationship than to be alone.
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I disagree. One has to be happy with themselves to ever be happy with another. If one ever stayed in a relationship and ignored their own wishes for their own future, then hostility, anger and regrets will form. Yes, one can ignore it and go on with life; yet every time there was an incident the "what ifs" would form.

Low paying job to being a medical research scientist to cardiologist making millions... it does not matter. That is not the importance here. Again, maturity and wisdom.

Sure compromise is a HUGE part of any relationship, but this is different from asking where to eat, style of clothes or lifestyle patterns rather this is one's chosen career and possible lifetime profession.

Again, one has to be happy to what they see in the mirror before they should see themselves with anyone else.

R/r 911
 
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She's not asking to compromise on the car model, where to go on vacation, or whether the kitchen will be gas or electric. She wants to change YOU and your entire professional life. You didn't suddenly decide to enlist in the marines after being in a 5 year relationship with her while working an office job. She knew who you were at the start and she has wanted to change you the entire time.

Let her go find a guy who wants to be a cubicle jockey 9-5er and a couch potato the rest of the time... assuming Lumberg didn't ask him to come in on Saturday. Oh yeah, and if he could come in on Sunday too, that would be great. He'll never be in any danger until he needs you to respond because he AMI'd after a midnight cheezypoof binge session.

Let her mull that future over. Then she can figure out if she loves who you are or loves who she (and her parents) want to make you into.
 
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Tell her thats what you want to do and learn to live with it or hit the road, dont ever change what you want to do for someone else.
 
EMTinNEPA said:
Trust me, it's better to be in an imperfect relationship than to be alone.
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Which would you rather be? Alone or be lonely and be with someone? I much rather be alone that be "alone" with someone. One cannot have a healthy relationship until they find that they are never alone. A person can never bring "happiness" to anyone. It's a myth and why there is so many troubled relationships with non-realistic expectations. Why so extra marital relationships develop assuming that "someone" is going to fix their needs there are too many movies and fairy tales assuming one is going to bring happiness or joy.


Personally, I'm alone and yes get lonely at times but much rather be by myself than in any poor relationship. Life is too short to be unhappy and cause unhappiness to others. Again, one has to be content with themselves before they can be with others.

R/r 911
 
I'll reiterate what Rid said. To be lonely when with your closest other is the greatest of all loneliness.
 
Without knowing a little more about you I don't feel right giving you chick advice. On the subject of going fire let me offer this, if your going to put yourself through an academy you may get by without support from her. If you get picked up by a municipal department you will most likely attend their recruit academy and you will need this woman's support if you want to succeed. Recruit academies are grueling and you don't want to have relationship hassles after a tough day in the tower. You do not want to wash out under any circumstances, you would put a mark on your record that would most likely keep another department from giving you a chance. Why give a washout a second chance when there are very well qualified candidates lined up around the block. Fire jobs as you know are few and far between and you need to weigh your options very carefully. Good luck!
 
Never settle for anything in life. Advise her to accept the career choice and you as an individual, or tell her to hit the road. You are letting a woman who you have been dating for only 6 months attempt to control your life and the path you follow. BIG RED FLAG!

You need to be in control of your life and destiny. Carpe Diem my friend!

Have you asked for advice from the firefighting forums???? Your responses here may be a little skewed as many of us could really care less about firefighting. However I offer this advise because it saddens me to see the a lack of knowledge concerning relationships and interpersonal communication. Too mamy folks getting aggresive these days trying to run other peoples lives, along with even more idiots that allow it........................
 
medic417 said:
It's just a stupid job, it is not a calling, it is not some great hero maker, it's a low paying job. If you truly love her you will find another job, one that actually will support a family and stay with her. If she is just a place of comfort then do her a favor and move on.[/

Just repeating because of some bad advise being given.
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medic417 said:
It's just a stupid job, it is not a calling, it is not some great hero maker, it's a low paying job. If you truly love her you will find another job, one that actually will support a family and stay with her. If she is just a place of comfort then do her a favor and move on.
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That is some pretty dumb advice.
 
If you truly love her and she is telling you what you can and can't do then dump her. You may be sad for a while but in the end you will be able to do what you want to do with your life. Not what she wanted to you to be.

I say go after the career you want (and don't tell any dates your a firefighter till it is serious, reason: gold diggers). Being a firefighter can pay very well. Where I live, I believe, the lowest starting salary for a firefighter is 55K, and that is just what you get paid in academy, and it only goes up. So unlike medic 417 said, being a firefighter is a great career if you want a family. Sadly I can't say the same for EMS (the whole only getting paid 30K).
 
medic417 said:
Actually it is the best advice. He needs to decide whether a stupid job is more important than a relationship.
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and how do you know that she's not going to think its a "stupid job" if he just stuck to ems.



no one on here can tell you what to do. the best advice is to do what will make you happy. if you really love her, then get into another line of work. if you don't see a future with her, then pursue fire and move on....don't keep dragging her along.
 
Linuss said:
Stupid job vs stupid spouse.




Not much to decide there...
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Well if were going to go by those standards... (to each his own) Then I would go with a stupid job. From what I heard it is a lot easier to quit a job then to get a divorce.


(sorry for the edit amberdt03. I just noticed the error).
 
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FireWA1 said:
Well if were going to go by these standards... (to each his own) Then I would go with a stupid job. From what I heard it is a lot easier to quit a job then to get a divorce.
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i agree....and you get to keep all of your stuff rather than split it
 
EMTinNEPA said:
That old "you'll meet somebody else" doesn't ring true for everyone.
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I'm probably one of the nerdiest kids here and that "never meet somebody else" perspective should really scare me if I was in OP's shoes. I hope though, that if I encounter such a situation, I'll have the strength to walk away from such a girl.
 
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