Dumbest thing heard on the radio

hreeves877 said:
BLS crew dispatched for a patient assist, came in 3rd party. Apparently caller's mom fell, but they weren't sure if she was inside or outside the residence. Local fire whacker, who was an EMT on the responding rig went on scene as follows: "XXXX on scene, 2 story residence, nothing showing, we'll be out investigating". Find it funny or annoying, depending on your view of fire whackers, lol.
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Alright to give a little fun poke back to ya hehe (all friendly).

So, sitting at my station listening to the radio when me and a few guys hear: Medic:"XX Base hospital"
Hospital: "xxx go ahead"
Medic:"We have a 50/1/49 1/2"
 
Was dispatched for a dog bite to the penis. What was probably even funnier was listening to me try and give radio report to the hospital.
 
MS Medic said:
Was dispatched for a dog bite to the penis. What was probably even funnier was listening to me try and give radio report to the hospital.
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This is why I love the system I work in. Instead of having to call the hospital ourselves, the county does it for us. So when we go transporting for a call like that, all I would have to say is "Medic XXX, class X to XX hospital, dog bite, ETA of XX." Saves us from having to deal with anything like that over the radio.
 
Just heard a dispatch a lil bit ago that had me shakin my head.. in florida we get flowers and trees blooming multiple times a year.... and its going on right now...

Well I hear a dispatch go out ... "respond for a possible HAZMAT...caller stating there is a yellow powder like substance all over his driveway and vehicle.. possibly pollen"


its like.. are you KIDDING ME!?
 
I was responding to a rural fire in a CRP field, the neighbors just call me directly.:rolleyes:

I radio'd in about responding to the fire and the dispatcher came back," Do you have the phone number for this fire?" "Not at this moment." Hard to look in a phonebook while driving down a dirt road.

Heard this one go out one night. Poor crew.
"196 respond to campground x for a 21yo pt."

"196 responding, what is the nature of this call?"

"Pt has violent vomiting and also has uncontrolable diahari."

Long pause

"Copy dispatch."
 
Dispatcher: " Engine xxx, Be advised...there are janitors on scene."
Engine xxx: " Rrrrrrogerrrrr!"
 
Just heard this one...PD dispatcher was asking the supervisor to clear an abandoned 911..."on call back, female verified all information and said it was a butt dial". Just to hear butt dial over the radio made me do a double take, "mis-dial" or "accidental" is the usual.....
 
EMTCLM said:
Dispatcher: " Engine xxx, Be advised...there are janitors on scene."
Engine xxx: " Rrrrrrogerrrrr!"
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Gotta watch out for those janitors, never know what they might do.:ph34r:
 
Its amazing how much stupid/funny stuff you hear the later it gets at night haha
 
<HQ was trying several times to reach us while standing by at a school dance>


HQ: "Dammit EMSxx respond."

Me: "Yeah we're here go ahead."

HQ: "I was asking you for your crew assignment."

Me: "Oh, its C-1, and B-13. Sorry I'm not thinking clearly, the DJ just played Vanilla Ice"
 
One of my first calls:

Dispatch: -- y/o unconscious female, suicide attempt

Driver: Is the scene safe?

Dispatch: ....She's unconscious, I don't think she poses much of a threat.
 
Dispatch from Baltimore City.

Dispatch: Units standby for one down, not breathing, known shooting, CPR not in progress

Medic 4: Medic 4's got it
Medic 15: Medic 15's got it
Medic 5: Medic 5's got it
Medic 21 Medic 21's got it
Medic 3: Medic 3's got it

City Dispatch: *click*....... game on!


Another one in Montgomery County, MD

A702: Montgomery, place us OOS
Montgomery: Nature please
A702: We lost our cot
Montgomery: Ok A702
 
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This happened to me last week

We were on a train vs car out in the far end of the county.

Me: "Command, 441 is on scene requesting staging instructions"
Command: "Uhhh.... 441 go ahead and continue to standby at station 3"
Me: "Negative command, we called in route 10 minutes ago... We are on scene now"
Command: "Oh uhhh... well go ahead and cancel we don't need any more help"
 
well this one was said over the P.A. but it was MEANT to be said on the radio, the officer grabbed the wrong mike...

<the cops were clearing a MVC, and one of the cars still had their overheads on..>

Car1: "Hey Chris, shut your overheads off, you're flashing everyone...."
*EVERYONE, and i do mean everyone started laughing because only the second part made it through the P.A.
 
I remember this one from Visiting my friends FD in PA. I heard this go over to a neighboring town

"County is paging, Station XX, XXEMS respond for the 15yo male, that pulled his foreskin back on his (well u can guess), its becoming stuck and he wants it unstuck..." *Repeats page*

3 reasons this was a GEM of a call

1) the EMS squad paged, was all female
2) It was transmitted countywide
3) those tones dropped in the middle of their monthly meeting
 
LanCo EMT said:
One of my first calls:

Dispatch: -- y/o unconscious female, suicide attempt

Driver: Is the scene safe?

Dispatch: ....She's unconscious, I don't think she poses much of a threat.
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With all due respect to the dispatcher, just because the /patient/ isn't a danger doesn't mean the scene is safe. The unconscious patient in the middle of a riot, for example.
 
EMSLaw said:
With all due respect to the dispatcher, just because the /patient/ isn't a danger doesn't mean the scene is safe. The unconscious patient in the middle of a riot, for example.
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Agreed. How do you know it was a suicide attempt? Maybe someone is trying to cover up a murder scene making it look like a suicide.
 
Dispatch: "center is confused"

and

Medic: *Mic keyed up, but speaking to someone else on scene* Ma'am, this guy is stone cold graveyard dead *then speaking into the mic* Medic 34 medcom, were on scene w/ one DOS, PD on scene.
 
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arriving on scene of a motorcycle crash that when was dispatched there wasnt a 100% for sure location.

Me: medic 86 on scene

Dispatch: medic 86 can you give us a better location of the accident?

Me: 3 tenths of a mile south of the city limits

Dispatch: anything further?

Me: negative. well we are parked on the wrong side of the highway. if other responding units pass the ambulance they went to far

Dispatch: .............clear medic 86


yeah good times....im still getting crap for that
 
Not mine, but from one of my buddies in a neighboring county

Medic 1: Medic one, Medic seven, you guys are on fire
Medic 7: Medic seven, Medic one, yeah, it's been a crazy night, huh?
Dispatch: Dispatch, all units, Friendly reminder; Keep the chatter to the tac channels
Medic 1: Medic one, dispatch, copy that, but seven is literally on fire, there are flames coming from their cab.
 
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