Dumbest thing heard on the radio

Squad 3 to Squad 4

Go to Squad 2

Squad 3 to Squad 4

Go to squad 2

Squad 3 to squad 2, im not talking to you, be quiet
 
OzAmbo said:
"Your going to an air ambulance transfer, picking up from hospital X, going to Airport Y for an ETA of 1430. Pt requires monitor, IV, oxygen and is on a doberman infusion"
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They must be barking mad...
 
(for the purposes I'll name them fire 1 and 2)

Fire 1 this is Fire 2 approaching the first controlled fire what exactly do you want us to do?

Fire 1: move on passed fire and head to the third controlled burn we got two under control but three is looking bad.

Fire 2: Understood proceeding to third fire

after 10 minutes...

Fire 2: umm three isn't spreading and the farmer has it under control

Fire 1: ahh... go back to first fire

this proceeded for a good 20 or so minutes, they are very rural and volunteers so it provided much needed entertainment on a no call day.
 
I was on a ride out and the fire crew was clowning about the last call dropping f bombs and talking about how hot the patients daughter was...about 5 min. In back to the station dispatch gets on the radio and says "truck 1 standbye for an open mic." LOL the looks on their faces
 
In my area (pretty much all of California) we don't get tornados.

Dispatch: "Medic 502 respond code 3 to hewett street for a kid stuck in a tornado"

Medic: "uhhhh confirming a tornado?"

Dispatch: "that's affirm. Uhhhh I'm gonna call fire and see what's up because that doesn't sound right."

Medic: "copy. Uhhh do we stage for tornados."
 
What's Smoking?

Dispatch: Respond to residence for a hazardous condition. The caller states his dog peed in the electrical outlet and it is smoking.

Engine: Responding. What's smoking? The dog or the outlet?

Fire Chief: Dispatch, please repeat the call.

Dispatch: Respond to residence for a hazardous condition. The caller states his dog PEED in the electrical outlet and it is SMOKING.

Chief: Received. [giggling like a schoolgirl in the background]
 
Heard while monitoring the radio traffic a few months back:

Medic: NCC, Medic 32, arrived QE2 (the hospital), milage 4.8.
NCC Dispatch: Medic 32, confirmed, milage four point eight.
Medic: Negative NCC, milage four DECIMAL eight.
NCC Dispatch: 10-4 Medic 32, Confirmed! Four point eight!
Medic: NCC, once again it is FOUR *pause* DECIMAL *pause* EIGHT!
NCC Dispatch: *Audible sigh* Four decimal eight. That's what I've been saying.
Medic: Oh. *awkward silence* Um, sorry. My bad.
NCC Dispatch: No worries medic 32.

(The medic thought she kept saying 408, which is one hell of a transport. :blink:)
 
Bullets said:
Ambulance (ME): HQ, were ready to go, status on ALS
Dispatch: You have medic 10 assigned from North Town, but they havent checked in
A: Recieved, you can cancel Medic 10, we are going to to South Trauma, can you try Central ALS or Trauma ALS for the intercept

D: Standby...A, you wont be able to get ALS from Trauma, wait for Medic 10

A: Negative D, we need to go, taking Route to Highway, advise if you get a Trauma

D: A...STANDBY FOR MEDIC 10, THE HOSPITAL YOU ARE GOING TO HAS NO ALS AVAILABLE

A: I understand D, but the patient requires a Trauma Center, so i am going there eaither way, is no other ALS available Central?

D: MEDIC 10 IS RESPONDING

A: Received, confirm no ALS available in County, advise Trauma 15min ETA with a head injury

D: Call D when you clear Trauma

A: Yeeeeeah, if you have an issue, you can call the chief

Meanwhile, Trauma ALS was listening: A, do you need a hand?...
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Yea!
 
Unit was dispatched to a deer vs car (very common in New Brunswick) and while we were moving to cover them, they cancelled themselves off the call with this statement. "Medic Center there will be no patients transported. Everyone is fine and the deer had a D.N.R".
 
"Unit 718, I need you enroute P3 to St. SoAndSo's Nursing on an inter-facility transport. Patient's chief complaint is going to be being uncomfortable due to weight gain."

What did they think the ER was gonna do? An emergency liposuction?
 
At the ski resort...

"ATTENTION ALL UNITS I HEAR LIGHTENING ON BALD MOUNTAIN!"

"REPEAT! I HEAR LIGHTENING ON BALD MOUNTAIN"

Pause..... Response:

"Copy, thunder has been heard on Bald Mtn."
 
Silverstone said:
Another funny thing was an old dispatcher of ours was dispatching out a unit to F AVE, and on the radio he described it as "F as in Pharmacy...." holy hell.....
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That's just sad... and a potentially a dangerous mistake!
 
My partner a few days ago:
Us- Dispatch THE squad x is in service
Dispatch- That's clear THE squad x

From the same guy a few months ago:
Us- Dispatch squad x is en route to mercy starting mileage of woooooooo.........9.8
Dispatch- To mercy, 9.8 (Laughter in the background)
 
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A new dispatcher stumbled badly trying to pronounce a street name and after asking for the spelling we hear: "Uh, first letter is G as in 'green', second is U as in, uh, 'Utah', third is I as in, um... 'Ice cream', fourth is... wait, one-two-three-four, yeah the fourth letter is D as in... mumbles 'Dammit' uh... Standby..."

After a minute he keys up again and we hear laughter in the background. "Medic 14, can you please call dispatch to get a better spelling??"
 
I had just gotten into the van for an IFT shift and didn't catch the whole conversation but as soon as my radio kicked on this is what I heard:

Dispatch: Unit 1, I didn't hear you, did you say you were transporting?
Unit 1: Negative, I said the patient does not exist.
Dispatch: (keys radio then awkward silence)... Copy... just hang out for a minute.

:rofl:
 
Just heard "call me maybe" playing over the hospital frequency.
 
Was driving from a call to another, and my partner yesterday randomly reached, picked up the radio, engaged it, took a deep breath, and then-

"Meowwwww....."

And put it back without a word.
 
Command: engine xx make sure your using foam for your squirt
Engine XX: engine xx squirtin foam.
 
Never Meow'd on the radio but I have mooo'd on the radio talking to dispatch.
 
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