Dumbest Questions People Ask You

sirengirl

Forum Lieutenant
238
29
28
Pretty self explanatory.

Was just sitting at a red light and a lady pulled up and signaled for me to roll down my window. Did so and she asked-
"Where do I get (muffler muffled engine sounds)?"
"What? I can't hear you!"
"Where (muffle garble hand gesture at her car."
I look at my partner, and he says,
"I think she said keys."
Me, "Did you ask about keys?"
"Yes! Car keys! Where do I get them made?!"
......... o_O "Um.... I don't know. Home Depot? The hardware store?" (I point at the Lowes across the street.)

She proceeds to throw her hands up, start cussing, and drive off. Yeah, lady, cause my giant ambulance says "Yellow Pages," not "911 Paramedics"....

Any other gems? I've got tons believe me.
 

NomadicMedic

EMS Edumacator
10,697
5,078
113
A woman walked up to me, while I was waiting for my partner outside of a grocery store and said, "smoothie."

No question. Flat affect.

I just looked at her. She looked back.

"Smoothie", she said again. No question in her voice. Just a statement.

I assumed she wanted to know where to get one, so I just kind of growled "smoothie king" at her and gestured across the parking lot.

She said "uh" and walked over toward the smoothie king.

Weird.

I still shake my head.
 

CALEMT

The Other Guy/ Paramaybe?
3,498
2,420
113
Gassing up a rig in the not so nice part of town and this "shady" crack you know what walks up to me.

Woman: I shoved a object up by butt about a week ago and can't get it out. Can you get it for me?

Me: Uhhh no mam'n I can't get it for you, what was the size of the object in question and why did you shove up your but?

Woman: I don't remember but it was rather large. Do you know someone who can get it for me.

Me: Yeah if you take this A street to B street the hospital is just up the road. We can take you, or you can take a bus/ cab.

Woman: Nah I'll walk. (For the record it was winter so it was in the 60's)

Me: Ok, I hope they find what you're looking for. Best of luck to ya.

For a person who shoved a "rather large object" up her butt she looked like she could walk just fine. Oh and mid conversation she started to flirt with me. That was the last time I filled up in that city.
 

sirengirl

Forum Lieutenant
238
29
28
Dispatched at 0653 (crew change at 7am, oncoming medic was going to be late coming from another station) for a "22 y/o WM arm lac, heavy bleeding" Show up on scene to said person, wearing gym shorts, boxers prominent, slip-on sandals, and wife beater tank-off his skinny little pale self and pressed to an obviously bloody 2" wound which will require stitches. He is sitting next to his obviously functioning car which he drove to this particular gas station before deciding to call 911. First question out of his (ETOH smelling) mouth-

"Can I be excused from court in an hour for this?"

..... o_O
 

CBMEDIC1

Forum Ride Along
1
4
1
Gassing up a rig in the not so nice part of town and this "shady" crack you know what walks up to me.

Woman: I shoved a object up by butt about a week ago and can't get it out. Can you get it for me?

Me: Uhhh no mam'n I can't get it for you, what was the size of the object in question and why did you shove up your but?

Woman: I don't remember but it was rather large. Do you know someone who can get it for me.

Me: Yeah if you take this A street to B street the hospital is just up the road. We can take you, or you can take a bus/ cab.

Woman: Nah I'll walk. (For the record it was winter so it was in the 60's)

Me: Ok, I hope they find what you're looking for. Best of luck to ya.

For a person who shoved a "rather large object" up her butt she looked like she could walk just fine. Oh and mid conversation she started to flirt with me. That was the last time I filled up in that city.
I live in Minnesota where "Winter" means like 10 degrees outside on a warm day....made me chuckle when you said that it was in the 60's and it was winter
 

huckleberry18

Forum Crew Member
57
5
8
Okay so i was in the Ambulance with a Paramedic and his partner was in a store. We were sitting there talk when a boy walked up to the ambance and knocked on the back. Well the Paramedic opened the door and the boy asked what is 911 is it like 9/11 me and the paramedic looked at each other and told him its an emergancy number. Then the boy asked "where can i get a box of dounuts" we were at a store with donuts and we pointed then the partner to the paramedic showed up.
 

ViolynEMT

Forum Chiefess
1,242
804
113
Gassing up a rig in the not so nice part of town and this "shady" crack you know what walks up to me.

Woman: I shoved a object up by butt about a week ago and can't get it out. Can you get it for me?

Me: Uhhh no mam'n I can't get it for you, what was the size of the object in question and why did you shove up your but?

Woman: I don't remember but it was rather large. Do you know someone who can get it for me.

Me: Yeah if you take this A street to B street the hospital is just up the road. We can take you, or you can take a bus/ cab.

Woman: Nah I'll walk. (For the record it was winter so it was in the 60's)

Me: Ok, I hope they find what you're looking for. Best of luck to ya.

For a person who shoved a "rather large object" up her butt she looked like she could walk just fine. Oh and mid conversation she started to flirt with me. That was the last time I filled up in that city.
Eeeeewwww.
 

ViolynEMT

Forum Chiefess
1,242
804
113
I had a woman ask what her sats were. We told her 97%. She said "omg, I'm going to die. At home with my new O2 set-up, they're usually at 270." o_O
 

CentralCalEMT

Forum Lieutenant
248
83
28
We had a patient with active chest pain and shortness of breath ask us if we could take him to his primary care MD office first and wait to see what he said and then take him to the hospital if his primary care MD wanted him to go. We couldn't get it through his head that ambulances are for emergencies and take you to the emergency room.
 

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
1,305
154
63
Some ambulances do take people to the doctors office, but not if they call 911; so the patient may be rightfully confused
 

read2go

Forum Ride Along
8
3
3
Just remembered another one. Very elderly, very sweet, confused, dementia patient saw her caregiver scratching her rear end, so she asked her "Are you constipated too?"
 

SunshineCamo

Forum Lieutenant
104
24
18
Older meth head lady. "Have you ever had sex in the back of your ambulance?"

Me "Why are you offering?"

Meth head, "Honey I got standards"
 

Tigger

Dodges Pucks
Community Leader
6,873
1,975
113
So out wasting my money at Starbucks huh?

Err I work for a private company that pays to operate in this city and we don't have stations so this intersection is our assigned post.... so nooooo?
 

DesertMedic66

Forum Troll
10,264
2,615
113
So out wasting my money at Starbucks huh?

Err I work for a private company that pays to operate in this city and we don't have stations so this intersection is our assigned post.... so nooooo?
I love when people say that.
 

CALEMT

The Other Guy/ Paramaybe?
3,498
2,420
113
So out wasting my money at Starbucks huh?

Err I work for a private company that pays to operate in this city and we don't have stations so this intersection is our assigned post.... so nooooo?
More for the non private services but still pretty funny nonetheless.

 
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