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"Best" things heard in dispatch

Discussion in 'Did That Just Happen?' started by vc85, Dec 12, 2013.

  1. NPO

    NPO Forum Deputy Chief

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    Crew: Do you have any further info on location?
    Dispatch: The call is for a hook in a foot. Check by the fishing pond.

    ===========
    Engine: Do you have a report of a fire at [location]?
    Dispatch: affirmative....
    *pause*
    Dispatch: Were trying to get it together here.
     
  2. jteeters

    jteeters Forum Crew Member

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    A few of my favorites from over the years:

    Fire Dispatch: <insert Department here> need you to respond...uhhhhh...potential fire...uhhhh...*looks at screen for address, which is there*...uhhhhh....*looks at screen again for address*...uhhhhh *gives wrong address, corrects himself*

    Responding unit: Potential Fire? Is it a....structure fire? brush fire? couch on fire?

    and another one from my fire days...

    Brush unit responding to a natural cover fire, with one at an outlying station. As the responding unit approaches, over county fire..."Here comes the F**king brush truck!"

    aaaand one more over County Fire

    "Brenda will you just give the g*dd*m* sandwich?!
     
  3. NomadicMedic

    NomadicMedic formerly DEmedic

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    Last weekend one is f the other medic units at my station was dispatched for "a toe that done popped off".

    True.
     
  4. chaz90

    chaz90 Community Leader Community Leader

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    Yep. That'll happen when your blood sugar is higher than that of maple syrup for a few decades. I ain't never heard of a podiatrist!
     
    TransportJockey and NomadicMedic like this.
  5. COmedic17

    COmedic17 Forum Asst. Chief

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    PD on scene - "there's two parties trees by a moose"

    Dispatch - "yeah it's that time of year again."

    PD- "it looks angry"

    Fire "Establishing Angry moose command"
     
    Bluemtnsky and TransportJockey like this.
  6. johnrsemt

    johnrsemt Forum Deputy Chief

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    Dispatch sent 1 engine for a 'bush' fire next to a gas station. After engine marked en route and was close they requested a box alarm for a 'G**D**m BUS fire". Oops the problem 1 letter will cause when typing
     
    TransportJockey likes this.
  7. Andrew Nelson

    Andrew Nelson Forum Probie

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    "patient has been extricated from the cardboard box"
     
  8. johnrsemt

    johnrsemt Forum Deputy Chief

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    Dispatched for a MVC with entrapment: upon arrival found 2 old ladies trapped in a wheelchair crash.
    95 y/o was pushing a 84 year old in a WC. Off a 12" high curb, when the chair went off, the pusher followed her, both got tangled up. ended up with 5 FF, and 3 EMS trying to get them untangled, didn't help that both patients were hitting anything and everything they could reach. Including us,

    Also didn't help that we were laughing so hard
     
  9. ERDoc

    ERDoc Forum Asst. Chief

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    We were dispatched to an "adult male maternity" once.
     
    NomadicMedic likes this.
  10. dutemplar

    dutemplar Forum Captain

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    "Vaginal breathing",... and that was not only said via radio, but was in the actual text dispatch as well.
     
  11. sack jears

    sack jears Forum Crew Member

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    Just something I heard over a radio scanner
    *dispatch*- medic (blank) where are you staged?

    *medic*- truck's parked under pedestrian bridge by the river

    *medic*- (in Chris Farley voice) IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER
     
  12. jshal

    jshal Forum Probie

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    "caller is repeating ' I dont ****s with the asthma. cant ****s with the asthma'. nothing further"
     
  13. GBev

    GBev Forum Ride Along

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    In one area that my agency runs 911 in, law enforcement always needs a reason to respond if it's not an emergency. On a particular call, the pt wanted to go to the hospital by ambulance and the family was insistent on bringing him themselves. At this point, the situation had gotten a little tense with the family so PD was called:

    Medic: Dispatch, can we get PD to this location?
    Dispatch: PD wants to know why...
    Medic: Family is unwilling to let pt go by ambulance
    Dispatch: PD wants to know what priority to respond...
    Medic: [Annoyed] No need to come in guns blazing, but if they could step away from the donut shop now, that would be ideal
     
    NomadicMedic likes this.
  14. EMDispatch

    EMDispatch IAED EMD-Q/EMT

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    Not my agency thank goodness, but taken from a coworker.

    A tower was dispatched, by itself for a "high rise" maternity... Luckily crews realized the error and added an ambulance to the high risk maternity.
     
  15. Gary Dhundal

    Gary Dhundal Forum Ride Along

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    Off the top of my head I can't think of all the strange things I've heard but here are some good ones that I can recall.
    "I don't really need the paramedics help, I just need them to drive me. I'm certified in first aid and CPR, I know what I'm doing"
    "Me and my boyfriend like to have sex in the shower and I always dislocate my shoulder. The doctor told me to come to emerg if it happens again." *Facepalm*
     
  16. Fightnflames

    Fightnflames Forum Ride Along

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    The best thing I've heard was when I was working a Tough Mudder in Lake Elsinore, CA. Over the radio we hear a medic ask, "Do we have any tampons?" The medical direction was not having a fun day that day and replies with, "Yes, yes we do have FEMENINE HYGEINE PRODUCTS." It was the tone and the manner of medical direction that cracked everyone up!
     

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