Might be a few reposts but here you go
-Skin signs tell all.
- Sick people don't :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:.
- Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing.
-About %70 of the battery patients more than likely deserved it.
- All bleeding stops....eventually.
- All people will eventually die, no matter what you do.
- If the child is quiet, be scared.
- EMS is extended periods of intense boredom, interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.
- If the pt. vomits, try to hold the head to the side of the rig with the least difficult to clean equipment.
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- -There will be problems.
1-The severity of the injury(s) is directly proportional to the difficulty in accessing, as well as the weight, of the patient.
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-- "Paramedics save lives; EMT's save Paramedics."
- If the patient looks sick, than the patient is sick.
- If the patient is sitting up and talking to you, then the patient is not in V-Fib, no matter what the monitor says.
- It is that bad.
- If you absolutely must vomit, than it is probably best to turn your head away from the patient.
- It is generally bad to use the words "holy :censored::censored::censored::censored:" on scene, in reference to the patient's condition.
- Better them (another unit) then me.
- When responding to a call always remember that the lowest bidder built your ambulance
- If its stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid
-Always honor a threat
- Always know when to get out of dodge
- Always know HOW to get out of dodge
- You can't please any of the people any of the time.
- Don't go INTO Dodge without the Marshall.
- They said, " Smile, things could be worse." So we smiled and sure enough, things got worse!!!
-Always answer a newbie's questions. (You once asked them, too.)
- The number of drugs a patient has on board is directly proportional to the number of knuckles tattooed.
- If you respond to an MVA after midnight and you don't find a drunk, keep looking - you've missed a patient.
- Best time to work a code - overtime.
-Pain never killed anyone.
-All fevers eventually fall to room temperature.
- A Pt.'s weight is directly proportional to the chances the elevator will be non-functioning.
- Here is a simple ETOH test: Hold your hands about 6 inches apart with thumbs and forefingers touching and ask pt. what color string you are holding. If pt. indicates a color it is a positive test.
-If you drop the baby, pick it up.
- O2 is good, blue is bad.
- Never trust an ER doc with anything sharper than a tongue depressor
- Asystole is a very stable rhythm
- A Pt.'s weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in the building.
- A Pt.'s weight is directly related to the number of stair flights between him/her and the rig.
- EMS RULE OF THREES (as it relates to codes) 300 pounds <30 minutes to shift change 3 stories up in the building.
- Whoops: 1) the monitor just fell down the stairs, 2) the cold and flu patient just coded, 3) the wrong house. (Hint: the one with the lab probably didn't call 911)
- Rules: 1) Don't get dirty, 2) Don't run, you may violate rule #1, 3) If it looks like you might get dirty doing something let the new guy do it.
- For every ALS skill we learn, we forget a BLS one.
- The fire tetrahedron consists of the following: heat, oxygen, fuel, chief officer. Take any of them away and the fire goes out.
- "Compassion Kills", don't dive into incidents.
- When a call comes in 2 min. before shift change you will always pass your relief 1 block from the station. (He/she/ it will be laughing and waving at you.
-If you lift an inch, crib an inch.
- If you think the cost of education is expensive, check out the cost of ignorance.
- Universal Precautions - Is it wet? Is it yours? If it is, and it isn't then leave it alone.
- Every Emergency has three phases - PANIC, FEAR, AND REMORSE.
- You are bound to get a call either during dinner, while you are on the can, or at 02:00 in the middle of a great dream.
- Training is learning the rules; experience is learning the exceptions.
- Rocket scientists that get into stupid car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
- Why do fire chiefs where white helmets? So you know where the Preparation H goes.
- Never trust your rig, drug box, or airway bag to be fully stocked. (In spite of the assurances of the off going crew.)
- If you don't have it, don't give up. Adapt, improvise, overcome, and (then call for a second unit).
- There is no such thing as a "textbook case".
- There is no such thing as a bad call. Only calls that didn't go the way you planned.
- Just because someone's EMT or Paramedic original license date is before yours does not mean they know what they are doing.
- For every 25 calls you run, only 1 will be exciting.
- The old EMS constant, no matter how bad the politics get, the doors go up and the trucks go out.
- ALS really stands for "absolute loss of sense".
- Most of your patients are healthier than you are.
- Being in emergency services means you get to celebrate your holidays with all your friends, while on-duty.
- Being an EMT means you get to expose yourself to rare, exotic and exciting new diseases.
-EMS does not save lives; EMS is to care for people. It is 95% of what we do.
- Common sense isn't.
- If you have a ride-along you want to show the real world, nothing will happen that shift.
-EMS goes against the process of natural selection.
-You can't cure stupid.
-We are all slaves to the god "Motorola"
-Murphy was an optimist.
-The address is never clearly marked.
-EMS doesn't save lives we only "postpone the inevitable."
-Supervisors become that because they won't be missed in the field.
-Even sterile water tastes great on a hot day.
-The stereo must always be louder than the siren.
-At the beginning of your shift, your main O2 tank, fuel tank, and stomach will be empty...but the call volume will be full.
- You know you are in trouble when the directions to a patient's house include... " Turn off of the paved surface..."
-Dead is dead, leave it at that.
-Your seriously ill pt. will miraculously get better when you roll them into the ER.
-Your pt. will get new symptoms after radio report and pulling up to ER.
-Don't get excited about blood unless it's your own
-The pain will go away when it stops hurting.
-If nothing has gone wrong you obviously don't understand the situation.
-You should always stop CPR after the second ouch! from the PT.
-People don't call an Ambulance because they did something right.
-Nurses are right as long as you are in THEIR E.D.
-When in doubt, always take another set of vital signs.
-If your patient is violent you can always use O2 therapy (an O2 bottle across the head usually calms them down).
-The larger the house the furthest from a door the patient will be.
-If the patient fell and was moved by the family, they will have moved them so that climbing stairs will be involved.
-The furniture will always be arranged so that a stretcher or stairchair will never fit easily.
-The problem won't be that bad until a major disaster strikes. (You have had chest pain for 3 days and wail till the middle of a blizzard to call ?!?!?)
-The Patient will all of a sudden develop a PMH as soon as the ED nurse asks for one.
- The same applies for medications.
