We make good party conversation!

[daedalus]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/12/08/cb.good.party.conversation/index.html

4. Paramedic

Why: Those same children who end up at the pediatrician's office eventually grow up and do similarly strange things as adults. Paramedics respond to emergencies that might be tragic, awe-inspiring or humorous. Regardless, they see things you'd never imagine.

Stories you'll hear: A kid gets his arm stuck in a vending machine; a victim who somehow survives a massive car wreck; an adult puts a marble up her nose.

-cnn.com


What about you guys? Do you dread the inevitable chat after someone brings up that you are a paramedic? What do you say when someone asks what you do?

 

[Brooks416]

Try being a retired cop/dispatcher and emt.

 

[NJN]

Try being a retired cop/dispatcher and emt.

911 Dispatcher is at #8


I can never figure out why when someone mentions I ride EMS, people of all ages are always prone to ask me "Do you see dead people".

 

[dslprod]

i once did a side by side with a 911 dispatcher and some wierd-o called said his cable wasnt working ! Lol

 

[seanm028]

I can never figure out why when someone mentions I ride EMS, people of all ages are always prone to ask me "Do you see dead people".

Seriously. "No, people don't die here."

 

[NJN]

I was going to say "see no, smell yes" and then go on my rant about week old decomp in a 100 degree apartment.

 

[Buzz]

I tend to just tell a story about a lady we had once with some gangrenous tissue on her foot. We lifted the blanket to take a look and it was covered in maggots.

Usually stops people from wanting to talk about my job anymore.

 

[NolaRabbit]

Or how about the inevitable "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" question. I usually just tell them that it's not for polite conversation.

I mean, seriously...these people do not really want to know about the horrible things I have seen people do to each other.

But I'm always more than happy to share with them in intimate detail my experience watching an autopsy of a floater that was fished out after 2 weeks in a navigational canal. That usually shuts 'em up.

 

[FF894]

Or how about the inevitable "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" question. I usually just tell them that it's not for polite conversation.

You beat me to it. If I had a $1 for everytime I was asked this I would be retired by now.

 

[Anomalous]

My day job is locomotive engineer and that only brings more questions like "What if you have to go to the bathroom?", so I tell them I am a teabag stapler.

 

[traumateam1]

Or how about the inevitable "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" question. I usually just tell them that it's not for polite conversation.

I really don't like that question. Like Nola, I usually tell them that it's not the right time and place for it.

 

[NolaRabbit]

I really don't like that question. Like Nola, I usually tell them that it's not the right time and place for it.

Although it can be funny to watch the morbid gleam of curiosity in their eye vanish when you ask them something like, "Well...first of all, do dead babies bother you?"

 

[NJN]

Or how about the inevitable "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" question. I usually just tell them that it's not for polite conversation.

I got asked that question by an elementary school teacher while showing off the rig at a carer day. Common sense told me to keep my trap shut.

 

[Tincanfireman]

Having been an airport firefighter since 1984, I am constantly amazed at people's facination with the morbid aspects of the job. Put hundreds of lives in close proximity to thousands of gallons of Jet-A, multiply by thousands of flights every day in the US alone, and sooner or later something bad is gonna happen. What folks don't realize (and I don't hold it against them) is that telling a story causes a person to relive it, and anyone who has been on a crash scene normally just wants to forget it. I usually end up telling them a funny drunk story, then change the subject. I realize there is a Walter Mitty aspect to the questions from those who live outside the public safety world, so tolerance and an understanding that these things are going to happen is a given.

 

[EMT-P633]

Going to tell a story on my old Fire chief, If he were alive right now, he would cuss me then grin that toothless grin and toss me a beer, for telling this story. Its ironic humor that we as EMS can appreciate. The general public wasnt quite so amused.

It was in the summer of 1997 and I was a rookie firefighter and about half way through my EMT-B training. It was a beautiful day in northern Indiana along I-65. So beautiful that people were out driving in thier convertables and just soakin up the sun. I am guessing that the relatively young couple (early-mid twenties) were more concerned about what was going on inside the red convertable then what was going on outside. Because they drove thier shiney new car into the tail end of a tractor trailor that was stopped at 70mph.

As far as EMS work went there wasnt much to do. pick up the pieces. literally. But on the fire side, we had some work; traffic - at a stand still, untangling the wrecage - shiney new car - twisted red heap, help EMS pick up the pieces - litterally.

Well my chief was standing next to the vehicle suckin on that old unlit cigar the way he has since he was like 5. And this other guy who was driving yet another shiney red convertable was parked beside the wrecage in the only open lane of traffic. Now this guy is so obsessed with what we are doig that he is holding up the only open lane of traffic, (rubber neckin). Well Ike, my chief was in a great mood, since he has just left the first family reunion his family has had in like 15 years and his grandsons were there that he has yet to ever see. He decides to help this rubbernecker.........

Ike--- "hey bud..... you wanna look inside here"?

rubbernecker--- "hey.. yea.. can I?... is that ok"?

Ike--- "sure as long as you dont get out of your car".
Ike---"Here let me help ya get a better view".
At this point Ike is reaching into the car we just cut apart.

rubbernecker--- "Sweet thanks.................ARRRGGGG PUKE PUKE PUKE"!!

I think I can omit what Ike picked up and turned around with.

Ike--- "WHAT? why you pukin? I think she is pretty, and he aint bad lookin niether".

Rubbernecker--- "ARRRG ARGG ARRGG"
As the rubbernecker is drivin off......
Ike--- "do ya know 'em"? "Can you call thier families for me"?

Ike turned to me and says, "F:censored::censored::censored:EN, A$$. I really hope he needs therapy. As he put the heads into the prospective body bags.


In the right crowd, I will tell this story, And i think this is the right crowd.

 

[NolaRabbit]

Ike--- "hey bud..... you wanna look inside here"?

rubbernecker--- "hey.. yea.. can I?... is that ok"?

Ike--- "sure as long as you dont get out of your car".
Ike---"Here let me help ya get a better view".
At this point Ike is reaching into the car we just cut apart.

rubbernecker--- "Sweet thanks.................ARRRGGGG PUKE PUKE PUKE"!!

I think I can omit what Ike picked up and turned around with.

Ike--- "WHAT? why you pukin? I think she is pretty, and he aint bad lookin niether".

Rubbernecker--- "ARRRG ARGG ARRGG"
As the rubbernecker is drivin off......
Ike--- "do ya know 'em"? "Can you call thier families for me"?

Ike turned to me and says, "F:censored::censored::censored:EN, A$$. I really hope he needs therapy. As he put the heads into the prospective body bags.

For the win!!!!!!

 

[LucidResq]

"I've got this weird rash on my ankle... will you take a look at it?"
I'm an EMT darling, not a dermatologist.

"You do search and rescue?! Wow you get to rappel out of helicopters and stuff huh?"
In my dreams.

"One time I fell and broke my wrist and I rode in the ambulance..."
Congratulations. Would you like a cookie?

"What's the grossest/funniest/worst thing you've ever seen?"
I could try to explain, but you'd never understand.

 

[Hal9000]

Once when tired...

I went to Walmart, because it was late, I was in college, and I needed food. Now, this was on my causal day without classes, where I pretty much wear whatever I want. In this case, it was my worn in slacks, a blue shirt, and a sweater, because it's MT in the winter. Well, I get inside and Walmart is warm for once, so I tie my sweater around my waste and head to pick up some chicken.

Anyway, I notice that someone is following me...so I turn a corner and head to the deli...look back, and there the person is. Anyway, I pretend not to notice and start looking at food. Well, next time I look up the girl is standing right by me with her friend, both staring at me intensely, and I mean that last part. It was creepy. I think she must have had contacts or something.

Here's how the conversation went:

Her-"Hey."

Me-"Um...Hi?" (Now I noticed that she's my age and incredibly beautiful, but those staring eyes were setting off all sorts of bells, but looking at her I couldn't remember what they meant...creepy.)

"Do you work?"

"Uh, um, yeah, and I'm in college."

"Do you work on the Am-byew-LANCE?" (WTF mate? Who says it like that? I mean she really said LANCE like it was some separate word and it was akin to some baby hissing alligator the way it came out. God, don't let me get killed by a hot girl in Walmart.)

"Yeah, uh, yeah, have you been my patient or something, and, yeah, I work on an ambulance." (Now I'm wondering how in the crap she knows me, and what her strange mute friend is staring at me for too, and why those bells are going off...and...if they'll notice I said it correctly.)

"I've been on the AM-byew-LANCE so many times *giggle* I love you guys, you're really cute." (Oh God, she's made it sound even worse, and now Walmart deli-demons are watching me, and how'd she know? And what? I'm not especially cute. She must be on drugs. WAIT! Those eyes! Those alarm bells! SHE IS ON DRUGS! Of course she's been on the ambulance a lot.)

"Well, um, that's neat, but it's best to only be on them repeatedly if you're getting paid, you know, so I'm sorry to hear that, but I don't think I've seen you." (Sigh, my mating opportunities within the herd remain low, time to escape.)

"It was your shirt."

"What."

"Your shirt has a little star thingy."

"No." (I look down, and no it doesn't.)

"Yeah, on the back, they're on the am-BYEW-lance too." (Well god darn it, I forgot all about that stupid thing, and she's massacred it again, and her little friend is still just staring, can't she BLINK for God's sake?)

"Oh, huh, I forgot about that, well, um, anyway, stay off the ambulances, we want you getting, well, better. Off you go now." (Start untying sweater to put back on, make mental note to scratch casual day.)

"Yeah, but you guys are cute."

"Yeah, you guys, ladies, I mean, you are too, but I'm more hungry than cute, so I gotta go, have fun, bye, remember to stay healthy. (As walking away for exit.)

Anyway, that's how it went. They were nice to look at but high kites, and I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out. That's the last time I ever wear my free shirts around places with lots of people. I must have looked like a bumbling buffoon correcting the way they said ambulance...and just being stared at like that....I was glad that Albertson's had chicken on sale.

 

[Medic9]

Or how about the inevitable "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" question. I usually just tell them that it's not for polite conversation.

I mean, seriously...these people do not really want to know about the horrible things I have seen people do to each other.

But I'm always more than happy to share with them in intimate detail my experience watching an autopsy of a floater that was fished out after 2 weeks in a navigational canal. That usually shuts 'em up.

I hate that question and usually try to avoid it unless an EMT student asks. Then I tell them about a pt that had cancer and vomited all his insides out and bled out. I avoid most of the details, they usually get the picture and drop the conversation.

 

[BossyCow]

The quizzing for details can often be dodged.. the ones that get me are the questions that begin with ... "I heard that.......(fill in the urban legend of choice) ... is that really true?"

Some examples I've heard are..
I've heard you can use a car battery to start someone's heart.. is this true?
I've heard that you can hyperventilate yourself into a coma and die.. is this true?
Can you use your shirt as a mouth shield in CPR if you don't have anything else?
Is is true you can die from ................

or the best one of all.... "I knew a guy once.. and he said..........