the 100% directionless thread

You know you've temporarily lost control of the situation when you're hosing down one poopy toddler in the bathtub, her twin brother is running wild in his birthday suit, and the baby is doing his own thing somewhere in the house. Thankfully calm now reigns as supremely as it can in a house that contains three children under three years of age.
 
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The company is going to interview me for another city in California that is 2.5-3 hours away from me. Fingers crossed.

I am simply scared to move out of state, which is pretty much the only reason I stay here. I am willing to work out of state, but not full time. It sounds like the company lets you do that if you get the certs.

The area I applied for, flight paramedics can RSI, pedi intubate, and use vents, per the local protocols so that'll be interesting. Still no diltiazem/verapamil, haha.
 
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Moving out of CA is one of the best decisions that I have ever made.
 
Spent the day discovering goodies in my training equipment storage room. I found a Lifepak 10, a rhythm generator older than me, a brand new (never unwrapped) infant PALS manikin, a Plano 747 full of meds that expired 10 years ago and an even dozen full, unused intubation rolls. Plus, I unpacked 3 new CRISIS manikins and 3 Rescue Randy’s.

Damn. We got stuff.
 
VentMonkey said:
The frailty of man’s physical demise, especially when witnessed, can often leave the novice dumbfounded or guilt-ridden.

It can also leave the “veteran” provider calloused and aloof.

Drawing the line in the sand of appreciation and respect for it while not personally tallying every witnessed death is imperative.

Anyways, baseball season is about to start. Go Blue. They sure seem ready.
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I just feel like we should have some something, because when nothing happened despite our best efforts, it's like you really did nothing at all. The outcome wasn't better at all. And we were literally right there.
 
DragonClaw said:
...when nothing happened despite our best efforts...
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This is something you are going to have to come to terms with if you want to have any kind of long term career in the medical field.

All of us will die eventually. There will be many patients who die before they should have. If you are struggling with a older patient it only gets harder when it’s a kid or young adult.
 
DragonClaw said:
I just feel like we should have some something, because when nothing happened despite our best efforts, it's like you really did nothing at all. The outcome wasn't better at all. And we were literally right there.
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I mean this in the kindest way... you need to investigate some real coping strategies. If you feel this way every time you go on an arrest, the whole “I suck, woe is me” thing, you’re going to have a very short career.
 
I mean, there was really no difference in him dying at home vs us being there except a big bill and wasted expectations.

I was in the back with the medic and a few times I asked if we were going to use bicarb. He never did, I honestly don't know enough to know when it's not indicated. I just know it's used during codes sometimes.

Medic always said no, it wasn't because I was telling him to, I was just trying to be ready to help in case he thought it would be indicated.

His CO2 was between 35 and 45 with careful bagging.

He got 3 epi, two amiodarone and about 500 of fluids in transport

But when we got to the hospital, the Dr asked how much epi and bicarb he got, when the medic said no bicarb, the Dr flipped saying he needs bicarb and epi. He wanted epi ever 3-5 minute's.

I'm not going to parade around and say I'm right or anything, but maybe if I'd had something really smart to say instead of just thinking you're supposed to push bicarb during a code maybe things would be better.

There's a few things I fumbled during the code as well. Nothing crazy, but just like trying to get things done fastest and the most right can be challenging. The advanced said stuff happens, even she had a hard time getting the suction supplies open.

I just feel like maybe if I'd been just even a better basic, maybe he'd have had a chance.
 
Ill be banned again if I tell you what you NEED to hear.

But I’ll post this: Stop the pity party. Get out of EMS.

Or figure it out. Fast.
 
Peak said:
This is something you are going to have to come to terms with if you want to have any kind of long term career in the medical field.

All of us will die eventually. There will be many patients who die before they should have. If you are struggling with a older patient it only gets harder when it’s a kid or young adult.
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I just got hopeful after he got into a shock able rhythm and things SEEMED to be going okay at first. Witnessed arrest, we're right here, got the LUCAS on pretty quick etc etc and then it's like

Oh yeah all that **** totally didn't mattered. It probably would have been easier on the wife if she hadn't called and just found him dead. Instead she sees her husband like just deteriorate and being so concerned that he didn't want to go to the hospital and then we show up and it's like "Oh yeah, medical professionals, we're supposed to do stuff and know stuff and be able to reassure people etc etc"

And it's just like she might even have thought "I called just in time" and didn't even know he was totally ****ed.

The medic and advanced were pretty proud of their performance as a team. Like high five job well done. They cracked a few jokes and stuff.

At first, the medic who is younger than me started to get a bit worked up when he coded so fast. I got a bit worked up. But the advanced is like my mom's age and she was all 2 second pep talk let's do what we need to do, take a breath and then he calmed down and got to work.

After the call he pointed that out, how his partner was his rock and that they were a team. They were just like okay with it all and even though the guy obviously was toast, I'd been scrubbing blood and picking up trash for about 20 minutes when they came out and I asked her if they called it.

I guess I still hoped for something even though as I went to go out to truck, the doctor was like "Yeah we're not going to do this much longer".

And she was like "Oh yeah, totally"

Non traumatic witnessed arrest by a 3 person crew of each patch and .... yeah nothing to show for it.
 
NomadicMedic said:
I mean this in the kindest way... you need to investigate some real coping strategies. If you feel this way every time you go on an arrest, the whole “I suck, woe is me” thing, you’re going to have a very short career.
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It's not every arrest, I am okay with the old dude DOA we worked. Cause I don't think we should have when he was so old, unknown down time, possible head trauma, he was cold, unwitnessed etc etc I was just worried I screwed stuff up, but it looks like that's not really on me about the blood in the tube.

I just felt we had a real chance with this guy and we failed him and his wife.

I wish I could know cause of death, but they're never gonna tell me.
 
DragonClaw said:
It's not every arrest, I am okay with the old dude DOA we worked. Cause I don't think we should have when he was so old, unknown down time, possible head trauma, he was cold, unwitnessed etc etc I was just worried I screwed stuff up, but it looks like that's not really on me about the blood in the tube.

I just felt we had a real chance with this guy and we failed him and his wife.

I wish I could know cause of death, but they're never gonna tell me.
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You've learned the best kept secret of EMS, despite what most people who's entire wardrobe consist of EMS week shirts tell you, we don't really save lives.
 
CCCSD said:
Ill be banned again if I tell you what you NEED to hear.

But I’ll post this: Stop the pity party. Get out of EMS.

Or figure it out. Fast.
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Frankly, I’m past the point of caring if I’m banned. This person is a f$&ing head case and needs to find another career. It’s an ongoing three ring drama circus. And it’s frankly annoying to read. Sorry, but I’m tired of nobody standing and up and saying the difficult thing. “Go do something else.”
 
NomadicMedic said:
Frankly, I’m past the point of caring if I’m banned. This person is a f$&ing head case and needs to find another career. It’s an ongoing three ring drama circus. And it’s frankly annoying to read. Sorry, but I’m tired of nobody standing and up and saying the difficult thing. “Go do something else.”
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Well, if it's about bans, I think it would be easier to get rid of one person and not two.

Headcase. I disagree. Stressed about a lot most of the time? You bet.

I can either give up and accept that or keep trying to be better. If I give up and walk away, I is really that easy, then I really wasn't supposed to be here.

I don't have stability in pretty much anything, as frustrating at as it is, if you're in a bad spot, why stop there?
 
DragonClaw said:
Well, if it's about bans, I think it would be easier to get rid of one person and not two.

Headcase. I disagree. Stressed about a lot most of the time? You bet.

I can either give up and accept that or keep trying to be better. If I give up and walk away, I is really that easy, then I really wasn't supposed to be here.

I don't have stability in pretty much anything, as frustrating at as it is, if you're in a bad spot, why stop there?
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No, you have issues.
reread your past posts and your last paragraph.
 
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