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Patient Friendly Jokes

Discussion in 'EMS Humor' started by wanderingmedic, Sep 10, 2017.

  1. wanderingmedic

    wanderingmedic RN, Paramedic

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    Paramedic
    I like to tell (the same) jokes to patients to help lighten the mood and get people to relax. What patient friendly jokes do you have?

    Here are some of mine:

    Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
    It's okay, he work up.

    Why did the aligator wear a vest?
    because he was an in-vest-i-gator

    How much beer does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?
    Two-cans

    Why did the can crusher quit his job?
    it was soda pressing

    (before IV stick) Don't worry, this won't hurt me any.
     
  2. elshion

    elshion Forum Probie

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    Whenever I put the pulse ox on them I say "can I see your hand I just need to put this on". When one gives me their middle finger I usually say "oh so it's been that kinda day hasn't it?" It takes them a second and most laugh a good bit from it. Haven't gotten a bad reaction yet.

    Also, whenever I get the billing sig I explain that "this is so we can bill your insurance, so that we don't have to come back and take one of your kidneys". I usually get a few laughs outta that one too
     
  3. johnrsemt

    johnrsemt Forum Deputy Chief

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    When I ask for a finger and they don't give me the middle finger I tell them that they missed a good chance to flip me off.
    When I am getting ready to stick an IV or finger stick I tell them if it hurts to punch my partner,
     
  4. mantree

    mantree Forum Probie

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    What do you call a bear in ear muffs? Anything you want he can't hear you.
     
    johnrsemt likes this.
  5. MSDeltaFlt

    MSDeltaFlt Forum Deputy Chief

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    Where does an 800lb gorilla sit? Anywhere it wants to.
     

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