Do you ever get used to the dead people?

gillysaurus

gillysaurus

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Hey y'all.

So I'm still a new EMT-Basic, fresh off the course August of this year. I just started interning with my county's ambulance company, and it seems like I'm always the cardiac arrest "charm". Whenever I'm on... BAM... Cardiac arrest! But it gets worse... I'm also the DNR "charm" or the trauma arrest "charm" or any other kind of bad luck charm you can think of.

So we'll get to an arrest and my paramedic will just have to call it right there because the person is in asystole or has a DNR or whatever. And that person is just lying there, cyanotic and creepy looking, with their eyes open and fixed on the ceiling. Maybe it's the fact that their eyes are still open that's the worst, but I can never seem to shake that awful "holy mother of God, they're dead. D-E-D, dead!" feeling whenever I see a body.

This is making my EMS career really challenging on a personal level. I knew this was going to happen, but I guess no amount of class can prepare you for the things you may see or feel in the field. I have a support group of friends to talk to whenever I feel like I'm dealing with anything beyond my understanding, but still... Does the really awful feeling you feel whenever you see a dead person ever go away? Is there a "right" and a "wrong" way to deal with patient death? Is it normal to feel this way, being so new and all?

Hm. That's much longer than I thought it would be, but I want some input, especially from other EMTs like everyone here.

Thanks ^_^
 
Just out of curiosity, how many DOAs/codes are we talking about here??

In my ~8 months of having my license and paramedic class I've seen a few grim scenes. It's one of those things, you take it in, and try and let it go. Do I ever forget those calls, or what those people looked like? No, not really. But, I take solace in the fact that for those few people that we couldn't save, or got there too late, there's tons more that we did get there in time and make a difference.. Also, without dragging religion into this, I feel that there are some people who's time has just ran out.
 
it doesnt bother me.

my first emt class, i got the "its not your emergency" speech. of all the lectures ive gotten in basic school, medic school, and all the con ed classes ive taken, ive never taken one more to heart than that one.

you cant save them all. for the ones you cant save, you have to remember that you didnt kill them and its not your fault they are dead. carrying around the ones you didnt save will get you nothing more than a substance abuse problem and an early exit to another field.
 
However you feel, that's normal for you, so stop worrying how other people react.
As far as there being a "right" way or a "wrong" way, well..."wrong" would probably be screaming and running (if I have learned anything from horror movies.)
It sounds like you are doing some healthy things, have you tried talking with whoever you are partnered with at the time? Online people are fine, but face to face may be the better way to go when talking about stuff that is bugging you.
What exactly is bothering you about dead people? I know you mentioned the eyes open thing, but it seemed mostly the idea of a dead person more than the body itself. Are you close to any classmates or your former instructor?
They might be good to speak with if you want to avoid talking to your coworkers.
 
For me the hard part is getting the "I'm sorry to have to tell you ..... " speech out and still make it sound like I care about their personal agony. Sounds harsh, I know. But to know me is to understand me.

After calling DOA 7 times in 5 shifts, I got a little perturbed that it just seemed like I could not get a living breathing patient....but the actual dead bodies didn't bother me.

Generally there is something on the scene that sticks with me. The 9 kids standing there on the beach watching.... The 8 little dogs laying on the couch watching us work like they almost understood what was going on.... The wife who started throwing things at me.... The guests at the wedding reception who continued on with the toasts while we worked as if we weren't there.... The wife who screamed at me "You don't do that to someone who is alive!!" after seeing me defib her hubby.....

You just have to find an outlet for it if it bothers you. My old partner used to cry after every code we had. She would hug the family and cry with them for what seemed like forever. We could not clear a hospital in under an hour after a code while she cried with the family. But when she was done, she was better. I get ice cream (but I get ice cream for a lot of reasons).... for I am convinced Ice Cream can fix everything that ailes you.... some people work out....

You just have to find what works for you.
 
Okay, did somewhere during your training of cardiac arrest, trauma, sick and injured they forgot to tell you that people don't look the best as they are dying? ...

Sorry, but if you knew "that this was going to happen"; why did you pursue and continue?

Maybe as discussed previously discussing with others or seriously even a trained person such as a clergy, funeral director, professional person can assist to relieve the "fear factor". I wished it was not part of the job, but it is and in most busy systems a routine one. Yes, we have to deal with the dead as well as the living...no matter what condition or presentation they may present themselves in.

Time to do some soul searching before getting into it to deep. As stated it really is their emergency.

R/r 911
 
As stated remember two things.

1. It is not your emergency

2. a Klondike bar can fix anything!
 
Honestly, I go with a big piece of cake, and a large bowl of french vanilla ice cream, with strawberry sauce and whipped cream.
 
MedicPrincess said:
Generally there is something on the scene that sticks with me. The 9 kids standing there on the beach watching.... The 8 little dogs laying on the couch watching us work like they almost understood what was going on.... The wife who started throwing things at me.... The guests at the wedding reception who continued on with the toasts while we worked as if we weren't there.... The wife who screamed at me "You don't do that to someone who is alive!!" after seeing me defib her hubby.....
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This is very true. It's not so much the dead people that bothers me. People die. Sometimes, it's those weird things you seem to notice. I still remember after my first code I was riding in the back to the station (long story), and the sun was just rising. I had seen the reflection that the star of life on the back door makes on the inside of the rig a million times. But, for some reason, when I saw it that morning, it meant something special.
 
This sounds really generic but it often helps to talk things over with a person who understands... preferably someone in the field that you're at least somewhat close to.

My best friend who works in the ER called me one morning after she worked her second code on a 10 yo girl that was really fishy and raised a bunch of suspicion of child abuse. We didn't really talk about her feelings or anything deep, but she told me after the fact that just relating that story to someone who would understand the gravity of the child's death but not blow it out of proportion really helped her.

Maybe starting this thread has been a little therapeutic?
 
Are you afraid of corpses?

Some folks can't stop thinking of corpses as people. They are remains, the spark has gone. We render dignity to them as a social bonder for the rest of us. The "creepy", I think, is partly due to our media representations of corpses (after all, a realistic corpse isn't very dramatic, usually), and a hardwired aversion to stay away from dead folks might be pro-survival because you may be avioding what got them.
(Someone referred to the 'cop-o-meter", wherein unprotected law enforcement officers dead at the scene are an indication you need to get your airpack on and your radiation detector warmed up. Same deal).
 
Ridryder911 said:
Sorry, but if you knew "that this was going to happen"; why did you pursue and continue?
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I knew you were going to say that, Rid! What I meant by "knowing it was going to happen" was knowing that people would die and I would see it. What I didn't know was how I was going to react.

I think you hit it on the head, Oregon, with my creeped out feeling being about the idea of a dead person and not the actual body itself. I guess, for some reason, I just expect to be able to lift them up and do stuff with them, and they'll be okay! It's so weird to have to comprehend that they're not moving, and will NOT move ever again. So strange!

Maybe I'm just very afraid of death itself. I don't know.

It has been therapeutic to read this!
 
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I know people don't agree with this, but it sure helps me. I did two things to get ready for the dead ones.

One: Before I became EMS I worked for a funeral home and embalming company. I told them what I planned on doing (EMS) and that I wanted some experience, so the first dead person I saw wasn't in front of a family and I give that "OH S:censored::censored::censored:" look. I got some first hand experience doing a some body pick ups, then I worked in the embalming room observing and help where I was allowed. This really really helped me get over the dead people thing. Having to close the peoples eyes, undress them, wash them down, shave them and then re dress them (for viewings). This worked, like I said, very well... now I can face a dead person no problem. After a while it just doesn't phase you anymore.
Second: I have gotten rid of all emotions. It's a hard one to explain. I don't treat people like complete cr**, but I just don't let a severely angulated arm or leg and the p/t screaming get to me, I do my job and what has to be done without stopping or getting distracted by the patient screaming at the top of his/her lungs. Likewise when I arrive on the scene of a cardiac arrest and I have family freaking out, or I have to call it (DNR, No CPR Order..) it doesn't bother me as much.
Now don't get me wrong, I still do have emotions and some things will get to me after the call, like many people.

My suggestion:
Try and take a few shifts in a morgue or embalming room. Get as much dead person exposure as you can, the more exposure you have the sooner you will be able to "get over it". I know many people will disagree with me, but it worked for me. What worked for me may not work for you. In any event I hope you are able to get over your fear of the dead, it will allow you to enjoy your job a lot more, and not be dreading the next cardiac arrest call.

Take care, and be safe!
 
I wonder how I am going to deal with this as well. Guess I will see, but everyone is going to die one day. That is why it is good to have faith in something.

On a side note I like lucid's south park avatar.
 
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die................
 
It's not the dead ones you need to worry about, its the living ones that will get ya!
 
I agree with trauma team 100%. Mass exposure to dead bodies will really help get you over your troubles. Also like was said you need to distance yourself from the patients emotionally whether they're living or dead. I don't mean treat them like crap with no empathy but don't ever get emotionally vested in a patient. I forget the exact quote but one of the cheesy but true lines from Dr. Cox on scrubs said we don't joke because we don't care, we make jokes to distance ourselves from the patients. If it takes a little well placed gallows humor to help distance yourself then by all means that's fine whatever you have to do.


Edit: A couple things I forgot to add, I've been in the field for 5 years (as a first responder, EMT for about a year) and I remember every PNB I've had. It's not something I think about or keep in the front of my mind but tucked way in the back I can picture almost the exact scene from every one. The most important part to remember in this job is there's no homework, when you're done on shift you forget 100% of what happened during that shift or you will go absolutely crazy thinking about the what if's.
 
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We joke to displace ourselves and to remove ourselves from the situation if only temporary. This is only appropriate around other professionals at appropriate times, when tension, or the feeling of irregularity. There is a time and place... sometimes it works and sometimes it can make it worse. Working with mass numbers of dead people will not help and possibly could even cause long term problems. I can say, even I do not like being around dead people, does it creep me? Sometimes.. you bet. Does it interfere with my performance, never. I can probably say, I have seen thousands of dead people over the years.

There is a fine line of between being "creeped" and "being bothered" as well as displacement of the situation and being immuned. It is a normal healthy feeling to displace one self from the body and the soul of the patient, always remembering though it is a persons shell/body and should be respected as such. Again, it is someones loved one, and should be treated with respect. Once you really of a persons remains as "meat" or other non-person, it is time to leave the business.

I have seen "jaded" experienced personal handling the remains, and nothing irritates me more to see a body treated disrespectful.

It takes time to learn to deal with situations. Some deal with things faster than others. If it really is bothering and interfering with your performance, then seek professional help (nothing wrong with that) and possibly think of another career. If it is only a temporary creepy feeling, then discuss with others and realize you will cope with it as it arrives.

Good luck,

R/r 911
 
There is a lot of great advice here, take it! I have seen many dead people as a result of being a volunteer firefighter. I have had a couple bother me. One was my very first call and it was a 4 y/o DOA ejected from a T/C. The second one was working a code on a friend from high school. Hopefully you will learn to deal with it and move on and have a long healthy career. Best of luck!
 
in the 7 years i have run ambulance, i have seen a lot of people die a bunch of different ways. anything from dying peacefully in their sleep, to very violent means. kids still seem to bother me the most.....as it would probably for anybody. you wouldnt be human if a dead child didnt weigh on you at least a little bit. BUT, if you feel that you are going to have a problem with it, thats what the CISDs(critical incident stress defbriefings) are for. and even if the call isnt enough to warrant a debreifing for your entire company, they should STILL pay to have you go and talk to a professional on your own. thats one reason ambulance companies have insurance....to help out their employees and vollies when they need it. dont be afraid to use those services.
 
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