Do you ever get used to the dead people?

Sorry no employer is going to pay for anyone to go to Voodoo CISD or obtain professional help on natural causes of death, that is part of the job. Sorry its cheaper to get another EMT. Yes, they may have insurance (albeit it work men's comp) chances are it is NOT going to pay because you cannot deal with the part of your responsibilities of the job. Its not the employers fault.

Now, if it is an unusual, disastrous event, then that itself is another problem (I and many others still don't believe in CISD Voodoo medicine) get a licensed mental health professional to start counseling if needed.

There are parts of this job, that is creepy, yucky and one may never get really used to. That is where one decides for themselves if it is worth it or not. Some cannot handle human excrements, body fluids, gross entanglements, and helpless victims of any age, again this is part of the job and learning how to effectively cope with it is part of it.

As one gains more exposure, then one learns to detach themselves from the event more and more, as well as a professional detachment from the patient (still being treated, respected and thought of as a human) but the key point is empathetically not sympathetically.

R/r 911
 
Rid is right. You learn over time. Treat your pt with respect,compassion and empathy. When you are done, put them out of your mind and concentrate on the next pt.

Don't get me wrong. If I go back to the ED that night, I will check up on Pt's. This can make a Pt's day, that you took the time to check on them. If it was an unusual call, Then I want to know the results.

That said, I ran 4 codes last week. I cannot tell what one of those Pt's looked like. When I am done, I forget about them. If you work a natural death at a home, I will cover the body with a sheet or at least close their eyes. This is more for the family not having to stare at the body. If it is an unnatural death, then leave everything as it is. The ME needs to know what the scene looked like.

It is bad to say, but if you don't get over this feeling in the next few deaths you see. You need to find a new career. EMS is not for everyone. You have to be able to be almost heartless at times, just to survive!
 
I must be a cold, and callous, because I don't hold it that much. I mean, it sucks, but I guess I look at it like fate obviously had other plans. But then, almost all of my patients that didn't make it have been elderly for the most part, so it was kind of easy to say that.

Only two times I got really choked up: Once with a eighteen year old with Huntington's that caused her to fall down a flight of stairs and crack her head. That was really bad.

But the worst was a four year old that was caught in a hit-and-run that didn't run so far (he was a punk teenager that ran into a tree half a block away trying to get away.) She didn't die, but her mother, who did her best to shield her from the hit, did. Dad had already died a few months earlier in Iraq, and now her mother is gone too, and here she was crying for her mommy while we tried to patch up her head wound.

I have a four year old girl and a four month old girl myself. So seeing this poor girl, the same age as my oldest and who had lost everything she held dear... I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it.

I'm really new, too, but I can say it does get easier. Not that the deaths get easier, mind you, but your ability to deal with them does. Some people use gallows humor, some people go to counseling, and others go to the shooting range. You just have to find what works for you.

I just went and played video games for a few hours after that poor girl. Blowing up your friends into tiny smithereens is amazingly therapeutic.
 
PapaBear434 said:
But the worst was a four year old that was caught in a hit-and-run that didn't run so far (he was a punk teenager that ran into a tree half a block away trying to get away.) She didn't die, but her mother, who did her best to shield her from the hit, did. Dad had already died a few months earlier in Iraq, and now her mother is gone too, and here she was crying for her mommy while we tried to patch up her head wound.
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Wow that is sad -_- Poor girl, lost her father and mother at such a young age. Thats so unfortunate.
Do you know how she's doing these days?
 
Oh, I have no idea. I stayed with her most of the night, and she did mention her Aunt and Uncle that lived around there but were in Ireland at the time of the accident. Maybe she is living with them.

But after she left, I never heard from that again. Maybe we'll get called for a criminal trial for the teenager that killed her Mom, but I doubt it. They had enough witnesses.
 
As I mentioned in another post, I worked LTC for 3 years. Prior to that, I served in Operations Desert Storm and Desert Shield. I have seen many dead people in many configurations. Luckily, I have the belief that there is a purpose to every death. I don't see the body as a "person". Only what remains of what that person was. The lifeforce is gone and that is the essence of the person I'm helping. I don't get "creeped" out (although I did the first couple or so). I stay focused on my job and do the best I can. I have no control over life and death (the realization of which seperates me from most paramedics). I can only do what I can do. If I can get over a 6 month old in full arrest, I can get over any death and continue to be an effective member of my service.
 
believe me it does get easier....its just going to take sometime. and i still get that icky feeling when you call your pt and they are layin there all creepy and cyanotic. but it goes away. you got to seperate your self from your pts or this job will eat you alive. be empathetic but when your pt is out of your care let them go
 
I would suggest that those of you who can not handle death, even from natural causes, not bother entering any other health profession inside of a hospital. Although as time goes by, you may find that life is full of experiences but good and bad. You have to choose if you are up to taking the good with the unpleasant.

If you work in an ICU, you may watch a patient that should have died being kept alive until they literally will start to rot with many bodily fluids leaking through the skin. The odor may become too overwhelming for even the family to come near but they may still not want to give up hope. This can happen at all ages from the neonate to the elderly.

You could also spent 12 hours/day and at least 3 days/week watching the family dynamics deteriorate. You will watch families breakdown emotionally and will either try to gain strength from you which can be draining shift after shift or quietly die emotionally before your eyes.

You may have to prepare the family for "the talk" with the doctors about ending life support and then be part of the follow through or prep for the withdrawal of equipment and meds. You may also be one of the team that will perform the withdrawal of equipment and meds while comforting the family as the patient gasps for his last breaths. This could seem like an eternity for both you and the family. Sometimes the end doesn't come quick enough. You may have to quickly up root the family and patient to be moved into a med-surg room to free up an ICU bed since diversion is now a big issue.

No matter how many hundreds of times you are part of any end of life situation, there will be one patient that you may remember for awhile. The others are part of the duties that you have chosen to be part of when you decided to become a healthcare professional.
 
VentMedic said:
I have no control over life and death (the realization of which seperates me from most paramedics). I can only do what I can do.
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Amen Vent, a lot of people think that we ultimately have full control over a persons life.. and well that may be true on some calls, the majority of the calls we don't. We try what has been proven to work, but nothing we do is a 100% guarantee. A lot of people go thru the "if only I could have done ________" or "if only I had done ________" period, but we all gotta remember, whether we believe in God or not, when someone is "ready" to die, nothing we do will prevent that.
 
I have no control over life and death (the realization of which seperates me from most paramedics). I can only do what I can do.
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RESQ_5_1 wrote that. I was going to write that but he posted before me.;)
 
Ridryder911 said:
Sorry no employer is going to pay for anyone to go to Voodoo CISD or obtain professional help on natural causes of death, that is part of the job. Sorry its cheaper to get another EMT. Yes, they may have insurance (albeit it work men's comp) chances are it is NOT going to pay because you cannot deal with the part of your responsibilities of the job. Its not the employers fault.
R/r 911
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There are many employers that provide Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) for their employees, mine included. Our EAP is contracted out to a private company that deals with personal issues all the time. They have the resources to help you cope with the death of a pet, to a miscarriage, to being able deal with seeing dead people. Check it out with your employer, ask around the company and your work community. Employers provide (ie..pay for) these services to make you a better employee. Granted this job is stressful, and we are exepcted to deal with the stress. But just because you are having a hard time dealing with it now doesn't mean that you should get out now. Stick with it, try talking about it with people who can help, stay away from the negative and stick with the positive. Whatever you do don't burry it, keep the dialogue open. You have taken the first step by talking about your problem here.

Myself I joke a lot about death and dying. This seems to keep it real for me and allows a way for me to vent my stress. Goodluck!!
 
VentMedic said:
I would suggest that those of you who can not handle death, even from natural causes, not bother entering any other health profession inside of a hospital.
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There have been many good posts with good advice on this thread but VentMedic's sums it up pretty well. The pre-hospital environment is in some ways easier than the hospital because your contact with the dead and dying patients is for a relatively short time. It is in some ways harder because you deal with them as they are, not in a clean bed hooked up to machines. These patients may look gruesome, gross or serene depending on how they died.

The important thing is to be able to function as an emergency medical provider. You need to determine whether intervention is indicated and, if so, you must provide it.

More importantly, you need to be there for the family, especially when no treatment is indicated. What they need is a calm, caring professional who helps them deal with what is usually a traumatic event. They need to be treated with respect and their loss needs to be acknowledged. None of this is going to happen successfully if you have a problem with being around corpses.

Everybody has their ways of dealing with this issue and the contributors to the thread made many good suggestions. You don't have to enjoy it but you need to find a way to deal with it or you need to find another field.
 
DOA corpses actually creep me out. So cold and stiff. I admit to being creeped out by them. I like to keep my distance. It's all the zombie films, to be honest.
 
Hastings said:
DOA corpses actually creep me out. So cold and stiff. I admit to being creeped out by them. I like to keep my distance. It's all the zombie films, to be honest.
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That is a wise course of action. When the Zombie Wars come (and they will), one cannot be too cautious.
 
rjz said:
There are many employers that provide Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) for their employees, mine included. Our EAP is contracted out to a private company that deals with personal issues all the time. They have the resources to help you cope with the death of a pet, to a miscarriage, to being able deal with seeing dead people. Check it out with your employer, ask around the company and your work community. Employers provide (ie..pay for) these services to make you a better employee. Granted this job is stressful, and we are exepcted to deal with the stress. But just because you are having a hard time dealing with it now doesn't mean that you should get out now. Stick with it, try talking about it with people who can help, stay away from the negative and stick with the positive. Whatever you do don't burry it, keep the dialogue open. You have taken the first step by talking about your problem here.

Myself I joke a lot about death and dying. This seems to keep it real for me and allows a way for me to vent my stress. Goodluck!!
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True there are some companies that offer that through an employee funded program. I have seen very few that do, as well offer excused time off to attend such. To me this would be similar to a medic having a hard time of seeing blood or injuries. What would we say to them?

I agree some of this again, could be discussed and probably change within time of exposure and working within the system.

R/r 911
 
Old dead is much easier than young dead. But, dead is dead and as much a part of life as living and breathing. After a certain amount of time (different for everyone) dead becomes easier to do.

Feeling some emotion is not a bad thing, it keeps you empathetic. If you are totally immune to any feelings in the presence of death I'm not sure you should stay in healthcare.
 
Death is a part of life, we all go through it but our culture has made it something distasteful and something to delegate to others. In the old days, a valuable ritual in the grieving process was the washing of the dead, preparing them for burial. We were not afraid or creeped out by our dead. Now, we are called to remove the dying person to an institution, where they spend their final minutes with strangers, they are collected by the mortuary (more strangers) embalmed, dressed and placed into a coffin (more strangers) and presented to family and friends in as close to a lifelike appearance as possible. Personally I think that's sad.

I've seen a lot of death. For the first few years of my EMT cert, it was a running joke that if I was called to an MVA they would either be standing around talking to us, unhurt, or they were dead.. no in between! For some reason the dead bodies have never gotten to me. The grief of a family can sometimes be difficult to witness because its so raw and powerful. Since I've lost both parents, a brother, a child and many, many friends, I have seen it from both sides.

To me, what we see is just the meat suit, no longer needed by the soul who used to wear it. Respect for the deceased, empathy for the living, and time for yourself are the keys to getting past it. If this is a challenge for you, determine if its worth overcoming, if not, don't beat yourself up over it, just acknowledge that your talents are better suited for other lines of work and move on. It's not a failure to learn more about who you are.
 
But as to your original question...

No.
They're always bumming a ride, then they want to work the siren, then when you tell them no, they make aspersions on your character by comparing you unfavorably to Nicholas Cage.
The dead! They ought be nailed into boxes and buried good and deep!

PS: BC, that ritual cleansing in Africa was key in spreading Ebola virus in a number of outbreaks. That and reusing syringes and needles...:sad:
 
I still remember my first code. It was during my medic clinicals. I don't even know why we were even working the guy because he was blue from head to toe. But I still remember it. It was actually the first time i ever did cpr. Not to much later worked a 4month old. Blue guy didn't bother me; baby jacked me up. Baby calls still scare me to death, esecially since I can still see that little girls eyes and the formula that was coming up as I was bagging her. But the way I deal with the "everyday codes" is I don't view them as people, just empty shells. If that makes sence. The person who they were is gone now. Hope that helps. Just know that all of us are going through or have gone through the same thing you are. Wishing you all the best.
 
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