...and that's what I like about this site. For some reason there's enough safety here for many medics to bring out such issues; issues that have been closeted in the past. More heartwarming is I see many stepping up to the plate, sharing their own paths, and offering support.
But all this is on-line. We need to build safety nets for each other right in our own stations, up close and personal, human to human.
I believe medics can take more personal responsibility for the emotional, psychic, spiritual support of their peers, as you are doing right now. I encourage everyone to take more risks in that arena so we can make room for MANY points of view and support each according to his or her own leanings.
As you say, this is online. The anonymity of a computer screen does wonders for loosening the tongue... er... fingers?
Just over a year ago, I wouldn't have said that. Or, I would have said it, and not practiced it. But, we all have our tipping points, and I hit mine this time last year.
Personally, I don't like the term "burned out". I think it's frequently misused as a selfish, cop-out answer, and a reason to be lazy and complacent. At my job, I have Basics who have 6 months on their card and in the company, who will stand around outside an ER smoking and talking and dodging calls because
"Oh I'm so burned out". Or call in because
"I just can't work today, I'm so burned out". If you ask them
"Okay, why are you burned out?", they'll answer with
"Because everyone else is", or
"Because I work too much", or
"I must be, because that's what others say".
"Burn out" is, I believe, merely a state of mind. If you can rationalize what you do, maintain a positive attitude, talk to/relate with your coworkers and have an active hobby or social life, you won't be "burned out".
(firetender, just I'm not jumping on you using it, only commenting on the phrase in general.
)
There's this girl at my volly company... It's no secret that we don't get along. And yeah, there's a story involved, but that's for another time. haha We took a Code once at the University within our district. Male, mid-twentys, was playing basketball, fell backward, struck head, seized, apnea. Worked into the ER, ER tried for an hour, no luck. At the hospital, it was just a bit too much, and she left the ER hurridly. I went out to find her bawling her eyes out behind the ER. And, if it wasn't coming from my own mouth I wouldn't believe it - I walked up and hugged her. And the (term for female dog) got eyeliner all over my shoulder. But that's not the point.. She hugged back. I asked if she was okay, and she just said that it was hard because he was our age, and "it's not supposed to happen like that".
A few months ago, one of our newest guys took his first Code. He's a tall tough-looking kid, in ROTC, ready to take on the world. They get back, and we're talking about it, and he remarks how he broke her ribs, and how weird he felt, and just sort of stared... You all know that look, where you're just lost in your head. And I asked how it made him felt, and if he was okay with it, and reassured him that he was doing the right thing, and it'll feel weird afterward, but know that his feelings are natural and if he ever wanted to talk, my number is on our personnel board.
At my paid company (name withheld to protect the guilty! lol), there's this rule.. To any pediatric cardiac arrest, whether it's a BLS or ALS rig responding, they always dispatch another ALS flycar, and our Supervisor. After the call, the Supervisor takes aside all members involved, talks to them, and assesses how they are. Then, they've given the open to clock out and go home if they feel they want some personel time. ....The Supervisor, however, is then expected to go back and finish his shift like nothing happened. I know a Medic who, as Supervisor, took THREE different Ped Codes in one day. He was expected to do all three, and continue his shift. He quit the next day.
Because in my experience, you almost never get help from your paid company, and your volunteer companies rarely have the facilities or money available for counseling. Not to mention, like we've said, the "culture" behind our profession isn't always the most condusive to open conversation on our "feelings".
Why can we effect changes in emergency healthcare, theories, and treatments, yet we can't just talk to each other about how we feel?
The change has to start with us, guys.
