You did WHAT with THAT?!

So..Now I know how that will turn out. Looks like I wont try that plan then lol. I wonder what people think before they attempt things like this? Like hmm, today I will inject viagra into my private area. Tomorrow I will stick it in a light socket to see if the charge will keep it erect. (If I get that call..I could die happy)
 
VFFforpeople said:
So..Now I know how that will turn out. Looks like I wont try that plan then lol. I wonder what people think before they attempt things like this? Like hmm, today I will inject viagra into my private area. Tomorrow I will stick it in a light socket to see if the charge will keep it erect. (If I get that call..I could die happy)
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Same thoughts that go through people's minds when they do BME extreme.
 
Had a female several years ago that had a plastic 20 oz soda bottle inserted all the way in - we were dispatched for an impaled object - got there and I was going oh my...well it was beyond local bandaid station's capability, so they sent it on a transfer. Me being the only girl of course I was the one subjected to dealing with her 2 hours all the way to university. Needless to say no discussion was had on that transfer. Got her into ER, had to explain everything to the resident on and he just walked off laughing. Girl ended up with some serious damage.

Well, two years later, was working in that same ER and that resident was now an attending - had my former department bring in a true impaled object. First thing he did was look at me and go - well at least this one's a male :blush: I still ain't lived that down and it's been 7 years !
 
Darwin Award Candidate

Had a young male 20ish decided he'd had enough of life - his girlfriend no longer wanted to be intimate and that was more than he could handle. So he went to his parents house and scoped out the medicine cabinet - no winners except one - Viagra. Overdosed on it - needless to say, I felt bad for the guy.:wacko:
 
fire_911medic said:
Had a young male 20ish decided he'd had enough of life - his girlfriend no longer wanted to be intimate and that was more than he could handle. So he went to his parents house and scoped out the medicine cabinet - no winners except one - Viagra. Overdosed on it - needless to say, I felt bad for the guy.:wacko:
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Reminds me of the Die Hard movie series. :lol:
 
I'm just thinking of the irony: his gf not wanting to be intimate and him ODing on Viagara...
 
Is there anything Vagisil can't do?

I got nothing to match these stories (I'm not even sure why I'm still reading them) but all the Vagisil mishaps reminded me of Pat Rogers. World-class tactical trainer, former NYPD and Marine. Lubricates AR-15 rifles with Vagisil just to irritate people who insist on their super-secret oil formulations and elaborate lube rituals.
 
NC_EMT said:
gotta love the drums
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Been playing them for 6 and a half years, the past 2 and a half with an endorsement contract.
 
So, I was doing my clinicals for my paramedic. Guy gets brought in by ambulance with a GSW to the left leg. Turns out it was self inflicted, trying to get the gun out from his waistband (he had on track-pants) he shoots himself in the left thigh.

Now, to add insult to injury, turns out it's more that just a leg wound.

Guy made a million dollar shot, unfortunately for him.

Bullet goes through left leg, Bullet hit left testicle, bullet degloves left testicle.

Guy comes into ED, strapped to long bored, with a fully intact right testicle, and a left testicle in remarkably good shape, except for the fact it's missing the entire scrotum. Needless to say, he went to the major trauma center.

Oh, and he was in such a state of shock, he felt no pain.
 
Thanach said:
So, I was doing my clinicals for my paramedic. Guy gets brought in by ambulance with a GSW to the left leg. Turns out it was self inflicted, trying to get the gun out from his waistband (he had on track-pants) he shoots himself in the left thigh.

Now, to add insult to injury, turns out it's more that just a leg wound.

Guy made a million dollar shot, unfortunately for him.

Bullet goes through left leg, Bullet hit left testicle, bullet degloves left testicle.

Guy comes into ED, strapped to long bored, with a fully intact right testicle, and a left testicle in remarkably good shape, except for the fact it's missing the entire scrotum. Needless to say, he went to the major trauma center.

Oh, and he was in such a state of shock, he felt no pain.
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That right there is just...I mean how? why would you put your finger on the trigger to pull it out? HAHAHA I love people sometimes.
 
dont know how true this one is, but it came from a fairly reliable source...

heard of someone putting one of those little 4oz metal juice cans up the backside for a little stimulation... well, it got stuck and person couldnt get it out. person decided to wait and think it would come out with a bowel movement. well, it didnt happen and a day or two later person ended up in the ER anyway (not the one i work in, shew). the kicker? apparently there was still a little bit of orange juice in the can, and being exposed to 99 degree body heat for over 24 hours, the orange juice spoiled.

anyone thirsty?
 
rcashrn- reminds me of the time i left a bottle of oj sitting in my car for a week had forgoten it and it exploded due to sunny summer sun about 99+ weather lets just say i hated to get in my car n everytime i did i was like a dog sticking my head out the window its smelled horrable :(
 
There was a book written about the war between Jimmy Hoffa, a supposedly corrupt Union leader, and Bobby Kennedy, the US Attorney General at the time. Bobby turned up the heat on the investigation and sent agents out to ensnare Hoffa. (If I recall it was a book about Herbert Hoover and the FBI.)

One morning, one of Bobby's agents awoke with a hangover and pressure in his lower abdomen. He had been out partying the night before and apparently blacked out. He went to a hospital, was examined and X-rayed and they did a procedure on him.

The doctor removed a grapefruit from the poor guy's rectum. On it was written these words: "Next time, it'll be a watermelon!"
 
My partner and I signed on for our 7am-7pm day shift on a Monday, it had been relatively slow for most of the day. We decided to go for some lunch, and of course, as soon as we sit down - we got a call.

Call came in from 911 dispatch as 'a patient who was bleeding profusely'. Thinking this is some kind of trauma alert call, we book it to the scene only to find an older gentleman standing on the street corner, totally dressed up and ready to go - he had a suit, a bowler hat, and a floral suitcase. We got out and asked him what was going on, and whether he knew who called us. He told us that he did, and that he called because he had been bleeding, and I quote, "from his uterus" all morning.

I had to turn away and run to the truck because I literally could not hold in my laughter. My partner stood and spoke to him to see what he meant. Turns out, he meant he had been bleeding from his anus, but wouldn't tell us how or why the bleeding started. We transported him to the hospital, he was stable, and definitely not bleeding at the time.

We found out later, from the ER doc. that he used a bottle cleaner to 'wash his rectum' because he never truly felt clean down there...
 
Not mine... but an instructor of mine once told us about a student from a really conservative college campus coming into the ER complaining that he'd "Sat on" a tennis ball.. and it got stuck.

It became apparent shortly thereafter that he was allergic to latex... which is present in tennis balls.

I'm thinking he might think twice about what he uses for stimulation in the future, after having almost died of anaphylactic shock..
 
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